I am blown away!

When I posted yesterday it was more of a vent for my over-stimulated psyche and not a plea for support. I am absolutely blown away by the comments everyone left!!!! I am humbled and blessed by all of you! I have tears in my eyes as I type tonight. I can positively FEEL the support and love emanating from all of you. How did I get so lucky to have found all of you?

First, I have a special shout-out to 'Mommy', who posted that she has also been dealing with this agency for 14 months and we need to talk. Please e-mail me at waitingforahren@yahoo.com. We need to share and support each other! It's not just you and me. Apparently we are part of a much larger group that I didn't even know about.

I am left often to wonder why. Why 2 bad cases? Why us? Why our children? I think my 15 year old had the answer. She told me she thinks God chose us because he knows we won't give up and we will fight for what is right. I have known for a very long time that a lot of changes need to be made in adoptions, and not just international adoptions. Domestic cases need help, too. Somehow, somewhere along the way, the system became less about the children and more about money, regulations, laws, control, money, power and money. I understand how it happened. In a lot of cases, one bad egg spoiled it for everyone. Someone stole a baby and passed them off as their own. Someone took money to give up a child. Someone adopted and then abused a child. Even though the majority of people adopting, people giving up children, people involved in the process are good, some people ruined it for everyone else. I hate those people so very very much. I especially hate the ones who make money off of people's desire to adopt a child.

People set out to adopt for emotional reasons, but some people set out to work in adoptions for purely selfish reasons. Adoption agencies are businesses that deal in a highly emotional field, and yet they are 'businesses'. They offer a service for a fee. If you hired a house painter to paint your house, but they messed it up, didn't complete the work, didn't keep you informed about the progress and always had excuses, you would be furious. If they were delayed due to faulty paint, bad weather, or some other reason beyond their control, you would understand, but expect to be kept informed and that as soon as possible the job to be completed. In adoptions, it's a 'buyer beware' situation. You give them tens of thousands of dollars, get no guarantee, and no control. You may or may not ever get a child, and heaven forbid if you fall in love with a specific child. In the adoption biz children are interchangeable. I know because we were offered a 5 year old girl instead of our infant daughter after she was injured. (It turns out the 5 year old girl was not really available and has since been returned to her birth mother due to paperwork discrepancies)

It is so hard. All we wanted was to add to our family through adoption. Simultaneously have a child and also save a child. Why has everything gone so horribly wrong? I have no answers, but I do know that I will spend the rest of my life working for adoption reform. No child should be left behind. no child should suffer at the hands of inferior foster parents. No child should be un-loved. Not when there are many, many loving families fighting to bring children home.

Thank you to all of you. I couldn't keep fighting for our kids without the strength I get from you. Some days I just want to give up. Put all of this behind me. Move on. And then I read the comments and know what I need to do, and I have the power to do. Thank you, all of you, and God Bless you!!!!!