Nonsense questions and chattiness

A while back I talked about how Ahren would ask a single, nonsense question over and over and over. I'm not talking 5 or 6 times, I m talking 20, 30 or 40 times. Seriously. At the time, I didn't recognize it as a sign of an attachment disorder, but now I know. When he sat in his carseat and asked Daddy 47 times, 'What doing Daddy?', even though we answered him, it wasn't a sign of curiosity. Nope. Not at all. He knew what Daddy was doing. It wasn't about that. Not at all. He needed us to respond, no matter what, to him. He needed to hear us, to know we heard him, to be answering him no matter what. A control issue perhaps?

We have dealt with this in various ways. Answered him, given him nonsense answers, told him we know what he is doing and won't play, joked and teased. Somehow, it has worked and he is much better. Which one worked? I have no idea. He still asks non-sense questions, but not repeating like before.

Ahren likes to talk non-stop in the car. My theory is he knows we are a captive audience so we have to listen. He will talk and talk and talk and talk. Just to hear himself talk. He doesn't say anything that is conversational or we can answer, just non-stop chatter. We have been interrupting him with our own non-sense and it has slowed his chatter. He has to stop and think about what we say, form a response and it slows him down. We also play games like 'who can be quiet the longest', He is very competitive so this helps.

Any other ideas out there on how to deal with a small child and this behavior? I appreciate any and all ideas!!!

Oh My Goodness.....

This morning Levi, at the ripe ol' age of 6 1/2, asked me what this word meant.....are you ready for this.............

Antidisestablishmentarianism

I had to make him say it twice because I didn't believe what I heard.

I told him we would look it up together later.

I am soooo in trouble.

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

I am of a certain age where I should have quite a storehouse of wisdom. You would assume so, anyways. Unfortunately I am also quite stubborn and that tends to be my downfall.

For your reading pleasure I bring to you some things I have recently learned the hard way:

1) Denying to yourself that you are getting the sickness of the week will NOT prevent you from getting it.

2) Taking your children to indoor 3D black-light mini golf while in that state of denial is NOT a good idea.

3) In further denial, do NOT eat mexican fast food for lunch. I can't stress that one enough.

4) Do NOT promise to take aforementioned children to Target later in the day when denial of stomache bug is clearly NOT working.

5) Do not attempt parenting, therapeutic of plain jane, while trying not to hurl mexican fast food at your offspring. Yelling, 'Just leave me alone' while in the bathroom is really unacceptable, even if you are having a 'reversal of fortune' at the time.

And so, I hope that you are not as stubborn as I am and that you can learn something from my mistakes. Now please forgive me while I go lie on the couch and pretend dinner will make itself.

Oh, and I did manage to get the van cleaned. Three rounds of Lysol soaking by me plus a professional shampooing did the trick. Thanks for all the suggestions!

Worst Lunch Hour EVER

I spent the morning at work after dropping everyone off at school/preschool. I then swung by the pre-school to get all the littles and headed home. We had just walked in the door when Little S told me he was going to throw up. I rushed him to the bathroom but the door was locked and it was in use. So I snatched him up and ran for the kitchen sink, making it just in time for the geyser to blow.

I got him cleaned up and settled down and then the phone rang. It was the school nurse and I needed to pick up Levi. I got there, checked him out and had to take the long way home because the back street into our neighborhood was blocked off. About one block from the house I heard gulp, gulp, splaaaash, splash, splash. Sure enough Levi was vomiting all over the inside of the van. He had just finished lunch so there was a lot.

I got him home, cleaned up and into bed and went out to try and clean up the worst in the van. It is down into the seats, under the seats, in the seat belt tracks, everywhere. I soaked it with Lysol, wiped up everything I could see, soaked it all again and left the van in the garage with all the windows open. I drove the other car back to work.

Both boys fell asleep and later threw up again. They seem better now. We will see how tonight goes. It's only a matter of time before everyone else is hit with this.

Anyone want to purchase a used, very smelly van?????

Follow in the footsteps of greatness

There was a saying I once heard that really hit a note with me. It said something to the effect of 'Don't try and create your own greatness by yourself. Instead, stand on the shoulders of the great who went before you and see the horizon.' I want to be the best mom I can be for all my kids and so I seek out those who have ben there/done that. In my quest, I have found a few people who have resonated deep into my soul. People who think the way I think. Who feel the way I feel. Who want what I want. Today I will introduce you to a few of them. And so, in no particular order, I bring you this:

http://www.welcometomybrain.net/ (Sorry, I never figured out how to imbed a link in blogger)

This is Christine, mom to traumatized children and keeper of all patience and wisdom. She posted a couple of videos in dealing with traumatized children. I watched them carefully and sure enough, what she was teaching came into play very soon. She talked about traumatized kids pretending they can't do something in a bid for attention and reassurance. This morning Little S, at the age of 4 years, suddenly forgot how to drink out of a cup. I caught myself reacting exactly like she described. (Seriously, you can't drink from a cup?) And I responded differently. I started praising him for doing something else well and sure enough, he magically remembered how to drink from his cup. Whew! This woman is saving my butt daily.

http://goldtorefine.blogspot.com/ This is Blaine and Diana. When they went to adopt from Ukraine they got way more than they bargained for. They got RAD and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and lots of other things that come with nice little initials. Their blog is full of realism, love and strength. Their words hit a chord with me. Their struggles are monumental and yet they deal with them with grace and wisdom and the strength of our lord God. I love it that they do not sugar-coat their family. I am sure we do not see the entirety of what they deal with, but I also respect that they know the general population would never understand these kids. It's hard enough to battle to heal the kids daily but add to it the battles they have had with school and church to understand and not add to the problems, they are saints. Seriously!

http://theaccidentalmommy.blogspot.com/ This is Essie, The Accidental Mommy. She has one bio daughter and one adopted from a disruption. She handles the challenges with humor and spirit. Even the worst aspects of dealing with small children (ie: pee, poo and vomit) are told in funny stories with poignant moments. She has a way with words that touches me, makes me laugh and makes me want to hug her all at the same time. Our children seem to channel each other at times, simultaneously decorating the walls with cherry chapstick.

There are more and I don't mean to hurt any feelings by not listing someone. These are just my current faves and go-to sites. To these three ladies, THANKS!!!!

Little S Update

Little S had the best day today! He is such a happy little guy most of the time. He is processing some big emotions but doing a fantastic job of it. Today I got a million hugs and kisses, lots of good eye contact and conversation and about a million smiles. He is my constant shadow, right by my side. He wants to help with everything I do. He wants my constant attention and always wants to know if I think he is doing good.

Our conversations have been quite deep lately. We talk a lot about good and bad, and being mad and angry. I tell him over and over it is OK for him to be mad, that he is entitled to that emotion and to let it out. He has every right to be angry and that keeping it inside is a bad thing at this point. I could almost see him relax knowing that. I keep telling him that there are good ways to let it out and I will help him. He is accepting my help which is huge.

He is eating and sleeping extremely well. He loves to play outside, take baths and sit in my lap. He is bonding well with his brothers and playing really well with other kids. It is so sweet, he and Holly play baby. Little S is the baby and Holly is the mommy and takes care of him. It is so cute!!! He is loving school and doing fantastic! He has a hunger to learn and it really excites him to go to school. His teacher, my friend, just loves him to pieces!

So although we are working hard and there are times I want to pull my hair out, things are really, really good. I would not be able to do this, though, without the help and wisdom of some very wonderful ladies. Next time I am going to post all about the women who have gone before me and paved the way. Strong, loving, resilient Mama's who have really had a rough road. They are my inspiration!!!

Random Quickies

Bullseye, the deer with an arrow in her face, is still with us. The arrow is lodged into her sinus cavity, the tip caught under the bone, so little chance it is going to fall out on it's own. She still seems healthy and alert, not skinny so she is getting enough to eat. The animal rehab people still show up about once a week to try and get her with the tranquilizer gun but she is a crafty devil. Personally I think she is enjoying all the attention!

Levi got in trouble at school and had to drop his color to yellow. This is highly unusual. he NEVER gets in trouble at school. As his punishment he had to walk around the perimeter of the playground at recess with his arms crossed on his chest. Boy, when he got home, he was adamant he would NEVER get in trouble again. What did he do? He was being silly. Yeah, I know, the apple didn't fall from his parental trees!

Little S has been testing some limits. We have random outbursts of trash talk. The funny thing is that at 4 years old the extent of trash talk is along the lines of 'poopy, diaper baby' etc. Now that Little S is testing, Ahren is ramping it up too. Oh boy, RADish behavior in stereo. Luckily they have not thought of anything that I have not seen before, and nothing that comes even remotely close to upsetting me. They end up upsetting each other most of the time while they try and out-do each other.

So life is full and busy and good and amazing. The house is LOUD with three small boys, but mostly filled with happy sounds. The weather has been good so they spend many hours a day outside burning off energy. That makes for some really stinky, tired boys, just the way I like them!