Since last Friday, my internal anxiety level has been climbing. My dreams are becoming more disturbing and I find myself close to breaking into tears for no reason. Part of the problem is that I heard some thru-the-grapevine news on Friday that if true would mean very, very good news for PBJ. But, of course, I can't get our agency to confirm anything or even share info with me. It's the big black hole of info.
Last night I dreamed that they brought Ahren and Peri Brynn to visit us here for a few days. I had put them to bed, and when I went to check on them, Ahren was there but PBJ wasn't. Then I realized that she was only 3 inches tall and I had left her on the nightstand and she must have fallen off. There were piles and piles of junk all over the floor and I was desperately digging thru it to try and find her, afraid I might step on her by accident. I finally found her but she had fallen into a glass of liquid and drowned. I sat there holding her tiny, limp, wet body.....and then I woke up. My heart was pounding and I was sweating profusely. My interpretation of this is that I feel helpless in saving her. I am trying so hard but nothing is working, either in my dreams or real life.
Then this morning, on my way to work, the Taylor Swift song Our Song came on. The gist of the song is she tells her boyfriend they don't have 'a song' and he tells her they do, it's all the things they do together. I was singing along and thinking, Yes, we have a song too, it's The Broken Road. The words God Bless the broken road that led me straight to you. This is the song I always think of when I think of my husband (who I met later in life) and our journey to adopt these 2 kids. The Taylor Swift song ended and the next song came on.....God Bless the Broken Road. I about ran off the road. Is this a sign? Is today the day we finally get news on the investigation being done and our case back on track?
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9 comments:
Oh Wendy, my heart is breaking for you. I pray today IS the day you finally hear something on PBJ's case. Keeping you in my prayers...
It has to be a sign. Hoping you hear good news today.
OH Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!
To make a very long post short .....
I dreamed 2 nights ago we were in Guat ,Marks Dad also and we went with Lexis to see the judge she signed the paper and then with signed paper in hand went to PGN , and we had PINK!!!
Then I woke up .
Could it be we really could get these kids home .
I am praying so hard for PBJ , she really needs to be home to get the very BEST care , and we all know you would see to that .
Paula
I hope it's a sign - it has to be!! I hope you hear something GREAT today!! :)
I hope today is the day! Those sound like signs to me! The adoption process made me believe in signs big time!!!
You are one of my fav people, and now you are even more fav now that I know that you analze dreams, too!
I think the dream is definitely a reflection of the fact that now you feel more "comfortable" with Ahren's situation (ie, he is still in the bed), so the full weight of PBJ's situation is finally hitting you, and you feel helpless in helping her.
I am praying that today is the day! I am praying for good news for PBJs case - that it will come out of investigation, be approved by Barrios, and that the BC shows up just as swift as can be :)
Wishing, hoping and praying for good news and soon.
BTW, do you like the camera? I got the same one for Christmas but haven't played with it much.
I got chills reading about your dream. Those precious babies need you.
I think the song is a good sign.
I pray that you get good news very very soon!!!
hey girly I sent you an email about getting together...I think I may have sent it to your work email...not really sure...but I remember having this problem before...If you did not get it let me know cmurnan@itxnetwork.com
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