Visit Approved!!!

I got special approval to visit Ahren!!! I am over the moon happy right now. You see, normally you have to reach a certain point in the adoption before you can visit. It is a way of safeguarding things. We, of course, have not reached ANY point in our adoption, so it is strictly forbidden to visit. I wasn't sure I could get permission, but our agency had said they were going to try, since it has been so long. Well, they came through! I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am. All along I had thought we would have him home by now. As each week and month went by, I kept adjusting my mental timeframe. My mental timeframe just finally broke completely and it became urgent (in my heart) that I had to go see him. So in two weeks I fly down to Guatemala City to spend 4 days with my baby. Chris is staying home to take care of everyone else. No, I'm not scared! I am travelling with another, experienced family, and staying at the same hotel. The hotel has a mall attached to it, so it sounds like heaven to me! I will have computer access from the hotel, so hopefully I can keep everyone updated. And maybe, just maybe, things will start moving on our case and we can look forward to bringing Ahren home!

Priceless

Dress: $150.00

Shoes: $35.00

Hair: $30.00

My daughter's first Homecoming dance: Priceless

Ready or not, here I come!

I started to write a post earlier today and to put it mildly, it was a real downer. Wah wah wah, poor me, this adoption is killing me. Absolutely pathetic! So I made up my mind. I am going to visit. We had gone back and forth a hundred times about whether to visit or not, always coming to the conclusion that it would be selfish on our part and too hard on Ahren. We would be strangers to him, stealing him away from everything he knew and was comfortable with, only to send him back once he got used to us. We didn't want to upset his little world like that. Two things have changed my mind. First, we got video recently of him. In it, the lady from our agency (who is also a stranger to him) is holding him. He is smiling and relaxed. This goes along with everything we have been told about him. He is a very easy-going baby, very laid back and happy. That tells me that it shouldn't be too traumatic to visit him. Secondly, we have some friends going who have been there several times before, so know the ropes. Once I get the OK from the agency, I want to book onto the same flight they are on going down. That way I will have experienced people to guide me thru the hardest part of the trip. On the way back, I will be by myself, but that's no big deal.
So everyone say a great big Good Luck to getting the OK from the agency and seeing our son. He will be 9 months old and it will be the first time I will ever have seen or held him. Kind of like a pregnancy without the stretch marks!

Preschool

Levi told us the other day that he is a big boy. He said he 'growed up' so we have enrolled him in preschool 2 days a week. Actually, we had already been thinking about signing him up so that he could begin to learn how to behave in the classroom and get some extra stimulation. We got him a backpack and lunch box, new polo shirts (school uniform) and he was all set. I wasn't sure how he would feel about me leaving him there on the first day. We had visitied the week before for a while, but I didn't leave. We talked about it so he knew I would only stay to get him settled and then I would leave, but be back to pick him up. On Day 1, he looked very worried but didn't cry. He told me bye and I left. The teacher said he was very quiet but didn't seem upset. On Day 2, he began to come out of his shell. He started talking and even sang some. When I picked him up, he was mad that he had to leave! This will be his second week, but I don't expect any problems. He is a total social butterfly. (I don't have any idea where he gets that from ;-)

Ahren

OK, my attempts at techno-wizardry are pathetic, but I did get this one photo onto my computer. We have another one where he is smiling, but I just couldn't get it onto the computer and not all blurry. Need to know the merits of quantitative polymerase chain reaction with multiplex reactions? Can do! Need to put a picture of my son on the computer? Not so much.

Updates on Ahren

I haven't figured out how to get these on this blog yet, but we did receive new photos of Ahren that the agency mailed to us. We also got a short video of him. I am trying to figure out how to turn printed photos into computer images, but not being a techno-geek I have no clue how to do it. So, for now, you have to put up with me describing them! First, it looks like they finally gave him a haircut, which is a good thing. He was beginning to look like he was wearing a bad wig! His hair is still super curly. His cheeks have thinned down a little and he doesn't look quite so babyish. (Wah!) His eyes are huge and dark, with the longest dark lashes. When he smiles, his little cheeks hint at having dimples. He has big hands and a stocky body. They tell us he is over 19 pounds now, and about 27.5 inches tall (at just over 7 months old)
Also, we heard today that they expect our file to be approved soon and then we get the birth certificate and can start the adoption process. My question is what does 'soon' mean in Guatemala time? This month? This year? This lifetime???? Yeah, I will believe it when I see it! Call me a pessimist, but who would have thought it would be dragging on this long and we haven't even started yet? I want to see real progress!!! Come on Guatemala!!!!!!

Chasing my tail

I feel like I have been chasing my tail these past 2 weeks. Between adoption related issues, trying to get the construction of our new house off the ground, work and family responsibilities, I have done nothing but dash from one thing to another. I drive girls to school each morning for early Drill Team practice. Then on Mondays and Thursdays they also have late practice, so have to pick up or make arrangements. Friday nights are football games. Wednesday nights are kids bible study. This Saturday is a dance camp I am working at in the morning, then the golf tournament fundraiser in the afternoon. Tomorrow morning I am taking Levi to go check out a preschool program we are thinking of enrolling him in. Next week is Homecoming, and Katie is on the ballot for 9th grade Princess. If she makes it, then there is dress shopping to be done ASAP. I transferred our home internet over to ATT high speed but have not been able to get it working yet. The refrigerator water line sprung a leak so I bought a new hose yesterday and repaired it. Now the oven quit working. Ashley needs to have her thyroid rescanned to see if the new medication is helping to shrink it, so I need to call the doctor and get it scheduled (but I hate that doctor so I need to find a new one) Someday I will look back on this time and sigh, fondly, remembering it as the best time of my life.

Bubble gum-ectomy

Sunday, after church, we were doing our usual little drive around, swinging by our new land to check on it (Yup, it's still there) I had given Levi a piece of bubble gum to chew to help keep him entertained until we got to the donut shop. Now, this child has been chewing gum for the past 18 months without ever having any problem other than the occasional swallowed piece. As we drove along, I heard him making a snorting sound. I turned around to check on him and realized he was trying to blow his nose. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was trying to get his gum. I asked him where his gum was, and he pointed up his nose. I could see one side was larger than the other, confirming the location of the missing gum. Chris was trying to decide if we needed to pull over while I plugged the other side of his nose and had him blow. Soon a small pink orb poked out of his nose. I grabbed it, and pulled. The gum stretched and stretched and then SNAP popped out of his nose. Chris is trying not to crash the van, I'm laughing and Levi is throwing a fit because I wouldn't give him his gum back. Eeeew! So no more gum for the little guy, at least not for a while. I guess we should be thankful it was up his nose, and not somewhere else. Parenthood requires a great sense of humor!

Not much going on

Another week passes. Ahren turned 8 months old yesterday. I have always loved that age. They begin to discover everything, are very happy, still snuggly, can't get into much yet, and just so much fun. I can only imagine what he must be like. We got a surprise on Monday, a very short video tape of him! He is falling asleep in it, but coos a bit and smiles. Here is a stranger holding him and keeps waking him up, and he is calm and happy. That's my laid-back boy! No news on the adoption front. I think Chris's hope he would be home for Christmas is not going to work out. We'll see. Miracles happen and maybe we will be the lucky ones.
I have toyed with the idea of visiting, but deep down I don't think it is a good idea. He is too little to understand. All he would know is strangers took him for several days, and about the time he got comfortable, gave him back. It would just be an upsetting experience for him. It would be purely selfish on my part to visit. One trauma, when he does come home, is enough for him to have to handle. Patience........

What kind of blog is this?

Well, considering this was supposed to be a blog covering the story of our adoption of Ahren, it sure has been lacking on adoption news. Last word we had was we were waiting on a correction in the Declaration of Facts, then it could be sent to PGN to be signed. No word since then. Not a peep, good or bad. We have a couple of other friends who are moving ahead with the decreto to try and solve their cases (well, the LAWYERS are moving ahead that way, regardless of our friend's opinions) So they may just shoot ahead and leave us in the dust, or they may get kicked out and be back in the rectification process with us. Since no one really knows which way things will work, it is anyone's guess what will happen.
I had a dream last night that I was holding Ahren. It was at the orphanage, and I was visiting. He was the sweetest, most snuggly baby. He just melted in my arms. I played with his curly hair and kissed his fat little cheeks while he slept in my arms. I remember he didn't smell real good and I thought he needed a bath. Then I woke up and laughed at myself. Some people dream in color? I dream in scent-o-vision. Stinky babies needing baths with lavender scented baby soap.
We should be getting new pictures soon. It's been about that long. I can't wait to see how he is growing. I am seriously considering visiting. I know Chris will talk me out of it, but oooooohhhh I want to!!! He is worried I won't be able to give Ahren back and it will tear me up. I worry about that, too, but I have a physical ache to hold that child. Plus, he needs a bath!!!!

Another week gone

Well, another week has passed and the adoption news is not great. The wonderful decreto that was to fix all our problems does not work for us. Instead, we will need to complete the proper rectification. Then, to add insult to injury, we found out that the Declaration of Facts that we had received, had an error in it and has to be re-issued. We are going backwards! I saw a post on the adoption forumn where a guy was all excited because they are on their way to pick up their son, who is about to turn 4 months old. I wanted to slap him. I have to admit that this whole process has not brought out the best in me. Chris is still convinced that we will have Ahren home by Christmas, but I wonder how he can possibly think that. Maybe he means Christmas in 2007? That I could believe! So, another week is gone and the roller coaster ride continues to be crazy.

Meet Jackson. He is the last male in a championship field trial line. Now, we have never trained him to do anything except the normal puppy stuff (get down, quit slobbering, etc) but he has the right bloodlines. His breeder has asked us to use him as a stud and they want to pay us a rather generous amount. Wahoo!! So Jackson has his first 'date' this afternoon. Let's just hope the big doofus knows what to do. He is the Gomer Pyle of the dog world, ya know!

Up, Down

You know that wonderful news we got last week? The news where something miraculous had taken place in Guatemala that was the answer to our birth certificate woes? Well, it may not be so good after all. We won't know for a few days, but it may not be applicable to our case and therefore we have just wasted several weeks (the attorney was holding onto our case for this to happen, instead of filing it several weeks ago) No one down there is sure exactly what the new temporary law really means. If we use it, and then find out down the road it is not applicable, we get sent back to rectification to start over again. (Do not pass Go, do not collect $200) I would just rather finish the rectification and be safe, honestly. I don't think I could handle getting all the way through and then sent back to rectification. We will trust the attorneys in Guatemala to figure this out for us and lead us down the right road. Up and down, up and down, and a long way to go.

Progress!!

WE HAVE PROGRESS!! We were notified yesterday that they have passed a short-term law in Guatemala allowing the Civil Registry offices to fix birth certificates on the spot. As you all know, we have been waiting for 7 months to get Ahren's birth certificate corrected so we can start the adoption officially. We were still a long way off from having it, but now, we may have it next week! Please pray that the rest of our case goes smoothly. If it all goes well, we may have him home by Christmas or his first birthday (Jan 7th) I can't believe how excited I was when I got the news. This is just a little bit of good news, so when we start getting bigger good news I may have to be scraped off of the ceiling! I don't think anyone who hasn't gone through this can begin to imagine what it is like. Week after week with no news, one delay after another, and no control over any of it. But, for now, we have NEWS!

My baby started High School!

My first baby started 9th grade yesterday. She also got her very first boyfriend, Michael. I think I am going to have a heart attack! Now, mind you, she has known Michael for the past year, and he is a very nice boy. But, he is older (a junior) and drives his own truck. Boyfriend = good, car dates = no way. I am actually dealing with it pretty well. Chris, on the other hand, is having problems. He just keeps muttering about what goes on in boy's minds. He is really struggling with this. I find his issues with this all the more endearing, seeing as how Katie is his step-daughter and all. He is just the sweetest, most caring man I have ever met. But the boyfriends had better look out, because he has a big gun collection! Hee!

What Mom taught me....

My mother always said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'. But I don't want to be nice! I want to be mad and kick something. I want to lash out at all the people posting wonderful news about how their babies are coming home, and even worse I want to slap the people that complain because they have been in the process for 5 months and it's been sooo hard. I want to yell 'SHUT UP' at all of them. STOP YOUR WHINING!

I felt sad for I had no shoes,
Until I saw a man who had no feet.

That saying helps me find peace. I know people who have been waiting way longer than us. People who have never had a child before, and whose arms are entirely empty. People who have lost their babies, their referrals, their money. People who have been trying for years to have a child or adopt a child and still are slugging away at becoming parents. I should be ashamed of myself for complaining. I am made of tougher stuff than that!
So, I haul myself up by the boot straps, hug Katie, Ashley and Levi, tell Chris how much I love him, and face another day. I know there are many, many more days to face, but I can do it!

No news

Today is Friday, can I hear a big ol' whoop whoop? This has been a long week. Nothing really special about it, just long. No news on Ahren. We are supposed to have the declaration of facts in PGN, but I have no idea if that really happened or not. There is a country music song called No News that is stuck in my head. It goes something like this:

Send a letter, send a fax
write it on a post-it pad
Send a message up in smoke,
Tap it out in morse code.
I prefer a bad excuse,
to No News!

Sigh.

Dream Home Progress

Things have just taken off with the progress on our new home. We were set to close the construction loan and land loans on Aug. 31st, but the sellers wanted to move it up if possible. No problem. We already have loan committments, etc. We were willing as long as the Title company could swing it. We were figuring they might be able to move it up a week or so. I ran around some paperwork yesterday and found out that they are scheduling the close for next week. Holy Cow! I wish this Title company could do our adoption!!! I don't know how long after that we will be able to break ground. We still have to submit our plans to the architectural review committee, get permits, etc etc (Actually, we don't do any of this, the builder does) We have started a separate account that will be just for money to spend on the house when we move. Things like blinds in the windows, new rugs, decorations, landscaping, etc. That all adds up and isn't covered in the mortgage or building costs. We have a travel trailer we are selling and I am going to convince Chris (wish me luck here) to put the money into this account. We have already nixed the idea of building the pool right away. Safety is a big concern for us. Neither of us is comfortable with a pool and little ones, even with every fence, cover, alarm, etc out there. It just takes one of the older kids to leave a gate open or a cover off. Too scary to even think about! We will stick to blow up pools for a few years!

7 months old

Our little peanut turned 7 months old yesterday. We have a tiny little bit of news in that the Declaration of Facts has been issued and is in the office of rectification in PGN to be signed. Once that happens, the corrections can be made and a birth certificate issued. Then, finally, we can start the actual adoption process. So, by my calculations, if we have a new birth certificate by the beginning of September, the earliest we might have him home would be January, if everything from here on out goes perfectly. Chris says I am too pessimistic, but I don't see how we will have him for his first Christmas or first birthday. I am just being realistic.

The good news is that we will probably be just moved or in the new house when he comes home. That will be terrific because he will have enough to adjust to without us packing up and moving soon after he arrives. I think 2007 will be the best year ever!

Peachiness

Life has been just peachy lately. Peachy in the kind of way that being hit by a Mac truck would be. Katie is mad at me because I didn't go see her drill team's show-off day today. Now, she is in a cast and can't dance, so I would be watching the other girls, not her. She is furious. I didn't even know about it until this morning at 7am. I am in the middle of mid-year reviews at work, and I am having to be very tough on some people. I just hate that! My right hand guy turned in his resignation and is leaving at the end of next week. We are in a hiring freeze, so I can't replace him. Ashley has been at cheer camp every day this week, so I have been running her around, making costumes, fixing lunches (which she doesn't eat) and herding gaggles of screeching girls.
I have no idea what is happening on our house. The architect is making some last minute changes and then I think we can submit it to the architectural review committee for approval. But the final straw to my peachiness is that the director of our adoption agency is angry with me. I thought I was helping a friend get some much-needed advice, but WHAM it came around and bit me in the butt. Life is just so very peachy......