Defining 'Fraud' in adoptions

It starts out so innocently. The desire for a child. Whether you pursue adoption because of infertility issues or just the desire to adopt, you dream of bringing home a child to love and cherish. You research the options. What fits best for you? Domestic or international? Infant or older child? China, Guatemala, Africa, Columbia......the choices are intimidating. But you choose.

Next, you need an agency. (Technically, there are some cases you don't need one, but the majority do) The agency is there to assist you in finding 'your' child. The adoption process is complex and variable and the role of the agency should be to navigate that for you and act as your advocate. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case.

You know my story. We were matched to our son who was not legally available for adoption. After 18 months, hiring additional attorneys and shedding many tears, we have made a little progress. He is now supposedly legally available, if they can find the birthmother to come in for the DNA test and sign off her rights. Was our agency guilty of fraud or just negligence? I guess the courts will be deciding that.....

Here are some other stories. I'll leave it up to you to decide for yourselves where the line is crossed into fraud.

Family A turned to adoption because their first biological child has a severe medical condition that other children could also be born with. Because they are already dealing with a seriously special needs child, they made it very clear they could not accept a child with major issues. They were matched to a baby boy and monthly medical updates showed him to be healthy. The family asked repeatedly about the child, and even after the agency people visited the child the reports were all that he was healthy and on target. The adoption completed and the family traveled to pick up their son. The child they were handed was limp, blue, and obviously very ill. They flew back to the states and he was immediately admitted to the hospital in critical condition. He had a serious congenital heart defect, a life threatening infection, and severe delays. It took 10 days of hospitalization to stabilize him enough to perform the open heart surgery to save his life.

Family B was matched to a little girl. They were told she was 3 years old only to learn later she was actually 5, the same age as their other daughter. They got regular updates on the progress of the case, but began to doubt the truth after many many months of delays. They hired extra help and learned that the child was not legally available and never had been, and that all the 'progress' they had been told was a lie. Now, over 2 years later, she still is not available legally yet the family cannot get their money back or get answers about this girl.

Family C was matched to a set of twins, paid their double-fees and sent in all the paperwork. They waited and waited for the case to begin, then after many months were told the birth mother had reclaimed the children. After some digging, they found that the twins had been matched to another family before they were matched with them and the agency knew this all along. The birth mother had never reclaimed them. The agency refused to refund the money and was never able to produce a new referral.

Family D accepted the referral of an infant boy, conditional on having an IA doctor review the records. In order to hold the child for them, they had to pay the first half of the fees up front. The IA doctor saw too many warning signs and told the family to pass on this child. The agency told the family, as per the contract, that they could not refund their money but would get them a new referral. Months passed, excuses were given, no new referral was offered. In the meantime, other families were receiving referrals. This family has been waiting over a year.

If I hired someone to perform a service for me, say cleaning my carpets, and they promise to clean them and do it this week, and I pay them to do it, then I have the expectation that I will have clean carpets by the end of the week. If I contract with an adoption agency to facilitate my adoption of a child, and they state that the average timeframe is 6-8 months, the children are healthy and they will keep me updated, then what can I truly expect? I know there are no guarantees on timeframes, but I expected that it would be CLOSE to the time they stated. I expected to be matched to a child that was legally adoptable. I expected to be kept updated with the TRUTH. And if something went wrong, which I knew was a possibility, then they would do whatever they needed to do to fix it or find me a new child. Instead I got lies, threats, intimidation, charged bogus fees, and emotionally put thru the wringer. This is definitely NOT what I thought I contracted for!

So why is adoption any different than another service? If anything, because human lives are at stake, it should be held to a higher level of accountability. Did you know that many states do not have any licensing requirements or legislation governing the actions of adoption agencies? Completely unregulated. That is terrifying!

This is clearly a case of a few bad apples spoiling the whole thing. Adoption is a wonderful thing and many agencies provide terrific service. I always tell people that when they are researching agencies, find out how they performed when things went wrong. That is when the truth comes out. Anyone can look good when things are all smooth sailing. But how did they do when the proverbial defecation hit the fan?