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This little face started it. All 5 pounds of him then, spit on his chin, pursed lips and peach fuzz hair. He turned 22 months old this week. He walks and talks and has a personality now. He doesn't know us. I am angry.
When it became apparent that his case was a disaster and we knew we wanted one more, we found this little face. Her case flew! Before we knew it we were in PGN (less than 3 months and we weren't even paper ready when we started) Then the bumps in the road began to slow our process. Slower, slower, slower. Then, less than a week before her 1st birthday someone hurt her. I thought for sure we would bring her home since she needed us so badly. But no, our government was all ready to help, but the Guat gov't won't let her go. I am angry.
Then it seemed that a miracle was droppinginto our hearts. This little guy who I had met last year was suddenly going to be part of our family. In a matter of a couple of months he would be living with us. I got to enjoy that thought for almost a week. Then everything changed. If we want him we have to start over from scratch. Re-file our INS paperwork, get a new homestudy, pay the complete fees and suffer through the whole long, unbelievably complicated process again. I am angry.
I am not angry at anyone in particular. I am angry at the situation. I am angry that all of our good intentions and hard work just bring us more pain. I am angry that nothing is easy. I am angry every time I see another family rejoicing that they are bringing home their 7 month old baby. I am angry that my friend's little girl just spent her 3rd birthday in a row without them because a judge won't sign one document. I am angry that politics and money are held in much higher esteem than the life of a child.
I am angry.
24 comments:
I'm so sorry - my heart breaks for you and those babies. It is truly not fair.
I am so sorry Wendy - so very sorry - I am praying for you -
for ALL of you
I'm so very sorry...
Wendy,
I can understand your anger and I even share in it, unfortunately. I wish there was something I could do but I know I can't, so I just pray...for you, for the kids, for the situation. I am sorry you are hurting so much. My heart breaks for you.
((HUGS))
Amy
Oh Wendy...
Anger Management - Find that Purple Dino and use as a punching bag, as he sings, I love you, you love me...
Trust me... that anger will turn into laughter for a moment... ;)
NOW FOR MY ANGER
What ever happened to FREEDOM OF SPEECH, and FREEDOM OF THE PRESS... It isn't like you published NAMES...
People that are selfish, don't deserve children. This just down right pisses me off. PUT THE KIDS FIRST DAM IT!
Wendy- You have ALWAYS put the kids first, you fell in love with Arhen, then I was there when you first meet PBJ... I was there when you had to hand back the kids, I SEEN FIRST HAND the love you have for these children, and I know that the minute you seen hope for another child, that love for him grew. It isn't a matter of malicious intent, but compassion for these kids.
My heart aches for your Sorrow... I know you are ANGRY RIGHT NOW, and I know your heart is breaking...
Wendy, be strong... God has ways to make things happen, he has a road set for you... We may not know exactly what it is right now, but I am sure it will come to light very soon...
FOLLOW YOU HEART!
And it you need to delete my comment, I understand! But hey... REMEMBER YOU HAVE RIGHTS~
HUGE HUGE HUGS,
ELLIE
You have every right ot be angry. I feel very angry and frustrated for you (and I don't even know you) other than keeping tabs on your blog. I can't imagine the heartache you must feel. You all will continue to be in my prayers. It shouldn't be this hard, should it? I'm so sorry ...
Wendy:
You should be angry! Unbelievable! I am angry for you. Especially towards baby abusers!
Unfortunately, as we both know, anger gets us nowhere. So...please remember what an awesome mother you are to those beautiful children...even if they don't know it yet. The love you have for these children and the frustrating hoops you are jumping through today will matter in the end...IT IS NOT A WASTE OF TIME & ENERGY....IT WILL MATTER IN THE END. :)
More than the usual prayers coming your way this day! Take care.
Kerri
I am sorry you have had to go through this and you have every right to be angry. Hugs.
Your cases have been so unfortunate. I would be angry too. I think that you do a great job.
I wish you luck in your decisions. You have a lot on your plate.
God Bless
OH GIRL I am so very sad for you and I am angry too...angry for you. I was really hoping thisgs would work out with this new little boy
And another thing...
It isn't like THE OTHER FAMILY WAS STAYING PRIVATE...
They were ON NATIONAL TELEVISION FOR CHRIST SAKES!
SORRY... Again... DELETE IF YOU NEED TO!
I hope things work out soon. It all just sucks. Praying for your kiddos.
Good heavens. Praying for an end to all of this. My heart is angry for you and my heart is absolutely broken for you.
d
I can't even imagine how angry I would be if I was in your situation. The injustice of all of this is absolutely maddening. There is absolutely no reason for both of those beautiful kids to still be in Guatemala. I want to punch a hold through my wall for you. I am SO sorry. Lord, hear our cries for this family and please bring this madness to an end.
Wendy,
We are pulling for you and your family. There has to be a happy ending...or happy beginning with all this. Stay strong...it has to work out...
Erin
You know how I feel. . . but I still wanted to leave a comment so you would know how much love is coming your way :)
Justifiable anger.
Oh Wendy, I"m so sorry!!!
I so feel the same feelings, as we've also been down an insane process. It's entirely frustrating, and the hardest experience in our marriage.
I would love to see the original posts if you could email them to me at sweetangelplus4@yahoo.com. Could you copy/paste them? I'm wanting to see them because I share the same feelings too.....
I am so sorry. It is all SO bloody unfair :( These children deserve a home- YOUR home.
Sig
www.wayhomeforana.blogspot.com
I am so sorry. Your anger is justifiable. I hope and pray your chilren are home soon.
Wendy, you are so strong and so loyal. Perhaps God has given these children to you because he knows that with your fortitude you will not give up on them, that you will be strong enough to handle all this and welcome them home with open arms. You're right, it's not fair, and you have every right to be angry, but I hold out hope that this will all come to a good end and that all your trials will make the end result that much sweeter. Keeping you in our prayers.
I've been out of town for business trip & away from the computer. I didn't see all your posts, but I can read between the lines to understand that nothing good is happening! I'm SO VERY VERY VERY sorry that you've experienced this upheaval.
I know nothing I say will make it better, but I do know that I am sending every comfort I can.
Wendy...
We pray for you all and your situation, for all the babies and children that need to come HOME.
I am so sorry. I am angry with you.
Adoption is so hard. I have 3 waiting to come home. 2 are stuck in Haiti and most likely will never come home. I am angry too.
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