Friday

We heard from the foster family last night and Peri Brynn is doing better every day. On Monday she has a follow up appointment with the pediatirc neurologist. There are a couple of issues we need to keep on top of. First, the pressure in her brain. If the medication does not control it then the next step is to place a shunt to relieve the pressure. This involves drilling a hole in her skull, threading the shunt into one of the ventrilces in her brain, and then threading it under the skin and down into her abdomen where the excess fluid will drain. For obvious reasons I do not want this to happen, but if it has to, I really really want it to take place here in the US.

The doctor is also going to do another EEG and see if the seizure activity in her brain is completely under control. She is on a high dose of anti-seizure medication and there are serious side-affects from continuing at that high dose. If the EEG is good they may be able to lower her dose.

And the final kicker? There is evidence of a previous brain injury that they need to follow up on. This involves the temporal and frontal lobe, so may affect other functions than the motor skills that were damaged this time.

I am falling, falling, falling. The energy I had from the call to action has seeped away and I feel like a big puddle of goo. It takes every bit of my energy to pull my sorry ass out of bed in the morning and continue to put one foot in front of the other. The only really strong emotion I am feeling is anger, and that is not productive, so I try and keep it contained. I am losing that battle. It is a good thing the agency will not reveal to me the name of the old foster mother or any other info. The urge to make them suffer the way they made my daughter suffer is too strong. I wish I was a better person, that I could turn the other cheek and find forgiveness, but I am not. At least not yet.

I continue to be amazed at the compassion that the US Embassy has shown me and PBJ. I spent a good 20 minutes on the phone yesterday with the Consular General, the head of the US Embassy in Guatemala. He was kind and genuinely pleased to talk to me. We talked all about what had happened to PBJ, what her prognosis is and how the system works (or doesn't work) He told me to call him if I needed anything and to let him know when I was going to be back in Guatemala. This is so completely different than the stories I have heard of the cold, heartless bastards at the embassy. I can only think that the amazing outpouring of prayers from all of you worked this miracle. I am humbled and so thankful. Words cannot express how this makes me feel.