Chatty Cathy, er, Levi

This morning Levi woke up extra early and decided to keep me company while I was getting ready. The constant stream of dialogue was entertaining as I went about the morning routine. It went something like this.

Mommy, do chickens have butts? Do clocks have butts? Do toothbrushes have butts? Do butts have butts? (See a theme here???) Smell me. Do I smell good? I had a bath. I smell good. Smell me again! Why are you doing that? I kissed the mirror. Where is Max? Max? Max? Max? Max is in the closet. Mommy, is it dark outside? Why is it dark? Is it night-night time? Where's Daddy? I don't like tighty whiteys. They are um, um, um too big. (As he strips off his pants) Mommy, is this my butt? What is this? Can I have some? Is Nanny here yet? I want some pants. I like pants. I want jeans. Jeans are my favorite. Do I have any jeans? Are they wet? Can I wear them? Do they have an adjustable waist? (He really said that) Can I have some of your hair stuff? Please? I want to look cool. Just a little?

By this time I had managed to brush my teeth. About 60 seconds had elapsed.....

Mommy, where is Max. Max? Max? Does Max have a butt? Oooh, I tooted. Hahahah Hahahahahahahhah. Am I your precious boy? Do I stink? I don't stink. Not anymore. I smell good. I brushed my teeth. Se how white they are? They are shiny. See? See? Do you smell good? Can I smell you? You smell good Mommy! Where is Nanny? Is she coming? Is that her? Is that gone? It's all gone Mommy. All gone. Will you get some more? Can I have some Chapstick? Smell my lips Mommy. Smell my lips. Do they smell good?

This continued for about 30 minutes with random comments by me. Mostly he just talked and entertained himself. I left for work feeling slightly light-headed and with a buzzing in my ears (But a huge smile on my face) Ahh, the days when I anxiously awaited his first word.....

I heard one of the funniest comments today and I just have to share. A friend of mine is going through a situation where the husband's ex is making life miserable for everyone. Apparently the ex was talking trash to my friend's step daughter and she referred to my friend as 'The Stupid Chinese Wife', giggling like she thought that was hysterical. Why do I think that is so funny? Because my friend is neither stupid nor Chinese! My friend's reaction was, "If you are going to talk trash about someone, at least get their ethnicity right so you don't look like an even bigger idiot!"

My friend has a a wonderful way of letting things like this just roll off of her. She has the self-confidence to not let it get to her. Actually, I think that confidence is what makes the other woman so crazy.

Is there any such thing as Politically Correct Trash Talk????? How about "You horizontally challenged, low-end IQ person of alternate origin" or "Mentally-limited pigmentally alternate non-thin person" I would love to hear a Gangsta Rap done with all PC verbage......