Friday, October 19, 2007

Friday

We heard from the foster family last night and Peri Brynn is doing better every day. On Monday she has a follow up appointment with the pediatirc neurologist. There are a couple of issues we need to keep on top of. First, the pressure in her brain. If the medication does not control it then the next step is to place a shunt to relieve the pressure. This involves drilling a hole in her skull, threading the shunt into one of the ventrilces in her brain, and then threading it under the skin and down into her abdomen where the excess fluid will drain. For obvious reasons I do not want this to happen, but if it has to, I really really want it to take place here in the US.

The doctor is also going to do another EEG and see if the seizure activity in her brain is completely under control. She is on a high dose of anti-seizure medication and there are serious side-affects from continuing at that high dose. If the EEG is good they may be able to lower her dose.

And the final kicker? There is evidence of a previous brain injury that they need to follow up on. This involves the temporal and frontal lobe, so may affect other functions than the motor skills that were damaged this time.

I am falling, falling, falling. The energy I had from the call to action has seeped away and I feel like a big puddle of goo. It takes every bit of my energy to pull my sorry ass out of bed in the morning and continue to put one foot in front of the other. The only really strong emotion I am feeling is anger, and that is not productive, so I try and keep it contained. I am losing that battle. It is a good thing the agency will not reveal to me the name of the old foster mother or any other info. The urge to make them suffer the way they made my daughter suffer is too strong. I wish I was a better person, that I could turn the other cheek and find forgiveness, but I am not. At least not yet.

I continue to be amazed at the compassion that the US Embassy has shown me and PBJ. I spent a good 20 minutes on the phone yesterday with the Consular General, the head of the US Embassy in Guatemala. He was kind and genuinely pleased to talk to me. We talked all about what had happened to PBJ, what her prognosis is and how the system works (or doesn't work) He told me to call him if I needed anything and to let him know when I was going to be back in Guatemala. This is so completely different than the stories I have heard of the cold, heartless bastards at the embassy. I can only think that the amazing outpouring of prayers from all of you worked this miracle. I am humbled and so thankful. Words cannot express how this makes me feel.

15 comments:

Carrie said...

Wendy,

My heart goes out to you and you and PBJ are in our thoughts and prayers.

Carrie

Kathy said...

I am so sorry for the news you received. I pray PBJ gets out of PGN very soon and that she gets home to get the love and care she needs and deserves. And I am glad you are getting help from the Consular...that is so nice to hear.

Elle said...

I wish your news could be so much better. But I am happy to hear that the Consular is helping you as much as possible. I would like to believe that the people in foreign countries representing the US would have our interests at heart and would be compassionate.

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog and praying for PBJ. I wanted to email you some info. (if you would like it) My daughter has hydrocephalus and was shunted at 3 months and is doing wonderful-- no revisions and she is a very bright, typical 5 year old. I found a woman online when I was going through all of the "unknown" questions and concerns and it was so nice to hear positive stories about children with shunts because so many of the actual stories online are the extreme bad ones. Please feel free to email me if you have questions - I would be happy to help you in anyway that I can. Also, not sure where you live, but our ped. neurosurgeon is one of the top in the nation...children from all over the US and other countries travel him to have him operate. He's truly been a miracle worker for SO many children in the US and beyond. :) Hope you can get PBJ home soon! :) You and PBJ are in our thoughts and prayers.
Sorry for rambling on and on! :)Jill
rjsteury@zoominternet.net

Auntie G said...

Wendy,
I am praying for strength and peace for you. Also for healing for PBJ and that no further damage is found.
Gail

Kristy said...

I have been reading your blog daily and keeping your family in my prayers. I am so glad that things are improving. Hang in there!
-Kristy

Sarah said...

Wendy... you are in my prayers daily and I will continue to help pray PBJ home. Thank God that the US EMbassy is being so helpful to get her home as quickly as possible as soon as Mr. Barrios lets her go.

I am havig evil thoughts as well about that foster family and any other person who could harm a child. Poor, sweet baby... I am so happy that she will forever have you.

Sarah and Sophie~bug

Lucinda Naia said...

Still praying all will get resolved so that she can be home with you ASAP!!

Starfish said...

Hang in there Wendy - what an ordeal. EAch day you are closer to bringing her home.

Please send me your email address, I cant seem to find it to invite you to the KAL!

Anonymous said...

Reading youyr blog daily and praying daily for your daughter, and also that you will find strength to continue on this battle. God does not send us more than we can handle. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heartt and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and He shall direct your paths." Ellen, waiting for my daughter

Lou said...

Wendy,
I am praying so hard for your sweet girl to get better and for you to have the strength you need to make it through this. God gave PB to YOU, because He knew YOU had it in you to fight for HER! Please know that my family is all praying for you....
Lou

Anonymous said...

Do they think that ALL of the damage that has been done was a result of abuse from the previous foster mother?? If so, how sad and frustrating (to say the least). I sincerely hope that that woman will never be given the chance to care for another child.
It's probably too much to assume that she will be properly punished here on earth.
Megan

bart said...

I just wanted you to know that you, PBJ and your whole family are in my prayers. It is such a tragedy that she was placed with such horrible people. But I also see the blessings...there are so many...for you and PBJ...a lifetime worth! I cry just thinking about it. I hope you have that beautiful baby in your arms (on US soil) as soon as possible.

If I may ask...that little girl with your FM...does she have a US agency representing her now? I can't stop thinking about her and need to know if God is telling me something. :) Thank you!

Kerri
(umentum@aol.com)

Esther said...

Thinking of you and praying.

Kimberly said...

Oh, Wendy, I can only imagine how you must feel about that additional injury. I do believe in medical miracles and I am praying, praying, praying for you and PBJ all the time.