Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I hates them all....Updated at bottom

This is a string of e-mails between us and the attorney in Guatemala.

Good afternoon,
My husband and I would like to suggest something. We know that money has been tight for your hogar lately. We also know that soon our case will be approved and we will begin the final process to bring him home. How would it be if we decided to pay a portion of our final fees at certain milestones in the final stage? Maybe $2500 at the new birth certificate, $2500 at the DNA test and the last $5000 once we receive the Pink appointment?
Thank you,

The response:
thank you veryu much, I apreciate it very much.

yes I accept it. thank you

yes your file will be appruved very soon.

Then, after we wired the first payment, we get this:

you told me you want to help me so I understood you want to send me the money before the process finished. but if the adoptino finish the way you can help me is sending us the full amount.

Followed by several more along the vein of:

tell me what is happening with my peyment. it is taking so long.

So my sweet hubby tries his hand at explaining this:


It was our understanding that you had agreed to our offer to pay you when certain steps had been accomplished. On June 16, the Monday after our son's case was approved by PGN, I wired you $2,500 plus $189 for immunizations and DNA testing, and later the same week my wife sent another $1,000 by Western Union. If you have not received these 2 payments, please let me know so that we can track down the money.There are still things to be completed before our son can come home to us, and as soon as they are completed, you will be paid. That was our offer to you which you accepted. We appreciate all you have done, but your work is not quite done.

The response:

no this is not correct at least I did not understood like you say now.

your expresion was we know you have economical problem so we want to help you sending you money. so I undestood you want to send me money before your adoption was finished with this you could help me.

but you never told me you was the one who need the help. if you send the money in drops I am helping you and not you to me.

sorry but I have to pay a lot of things also the lawyers in charge of your process and without money they will not give one step to finish your process.

so I need that you send me my fee as soon as tomorrow so we can finish your process.

another family who finish yesterday they already paid us without all those problems and e-mail that you had sent to me.

At this point, my sweet, sweet hubby let loose:


I am sorry that you did not understand our offer.

I am very sorry to learn that we have to pay a ransom to get our son’s case completed. When a life is involved and money is demanded, that is a ransom, it is not business.

We have invested our hearts and waited for 2 ½ years to get our son, and the only hope we have had for all of this time is that good people were taking care of Darien, and that these people cared about Darien as a person and not just as a way to make money.

I know that we cannot bring Darien home until the process is complete, so your collateral is safe. All we have is your word that you will complete your job.

I will wire the money to you today. I hope your lawyers stop hiding behind a 2 ½ year old child and do their jobs.


He got this response back:

The lawyer told me yesterday she sent the file to the city hall to get the birth certificates with your surname.

and this office take 5 days to issue the birth certificates.

Is it wrong that I hate them all so very, very much???
We got one final e-mail yesterday, after wiring all of the money (which supposedly is not due until the process is FINISHED)

Take a deep breath and read on.....

I do not want go deep in filosophy and I do not want to continue talking about the same thing for ever.

but you are paying us for the legal adoption process we do sell children. so my part of the process is to keep safe and healthy your son and we did it perfectly, and your part of the process is to pay for all the expenses.

so please do not say you are the victim because you are not.

also understand the lawyers have not love in the procedure they work and now they want their fee.

also we love the children but we can not pay with love milk, diaper, doctors, medicines, inmunization, Ect and we can not wait until you decide it is time to pay.

please understand and do not answer about the same thing again. for me we have finish with the subject.

we have not the money yet in our acount so I can not aceverate (confirm) that you paid.

Note: I have been paying the foster family directly for a year for medical care, food and clothes. It was the only way we could insure Ahren stayed in that foster home and received good care (which he most certainly has had the BEST care!!!) We have also donated supplies and money to this man's hogar (orphanage) And these lawyers who need to be paid? They are the same ones who screwed up the original paperwork so badly it took us 18 months to get his original birth certificate.

The definition of peace: seeing this man's face in my rear view mirror and never, ever, ever giving him a thought again, as long as I live. He and his 'values' and 'love for the children' are not worth one single bit of my energy. Amen!


Elle said...

dirty dirty. Shame on them.

ManyBlessings said...

I agree..shame on them...

BT said...

We did a Ukraine adoption, and it felt arduous and often frustrating, but your story continues to strike me as unbelievable. I don't know how you have kept yourself from konking someone over the head. I am eagerly awaiting good news that next steps are completed.

Diana said...

Not wrong at all to hate them...and I do indeed know the feeling WELL. But ultimately, it won't serve you well in the end. Way to go for exposing them - now do what you can to let it go and move forward. It's one of the best gifts you can give your family...especially your new little ones that will soon be joining you :-).

Anonymous said...

Wait, so you were going to do them a FAVOR by paying installments before the money was actually due, and they have the nerve to threaten you? Wow. I truly don't know how you do it. I hope you have a punching bag or something for stress relief.

Amy said... never ends....hate them...i'm sure it's ok for you to hate them..heck, I hate them and I don't even know them.

Cathie said...

So wrong of them!!!! I don't know how you have stayed sooo strong for so long. You are truely one of my hero mothers.
Praying both your children home!!!!

Deb said...

bad people, bad people, bad people. They most certainly can use a translator to get complete understanding. if they did not understnad- they should have never accepted.
bad people, bad, bad bad.

Love and hugs to you,

Anonymous said...

Our hogar was worse, they demanded the full payment immediately plus an extra $1,000 which they refused to tell us what it was for over the phone or email, they said they would tell us in person at pick up. It ended in a screaming match on the phone and then I rushed to wire all the ransom, um, I mean fees first thing the next day. They in turn delayed our child's DNA on purpose. They were spiteful and it became obvious that their hogar no longer cared about their reputation. Sad, really sad, the children are pawns in a twisted power/money game.

Ana's Mom

Mom&Dad to A & J said...

This sounds so very similar to the end of our process. Even after we had pink, we were told by the hogar director (different hogar) not to make travel plans unless we paid extra fees. Fees we were previously and repeatedly told we would not have to pay. We did pay, and it still feels like we were extorted and had to pay a ransom just to get our son home.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, it is so very painful. said...

Oh, I am so sorry that you have to go through this kind of stuff.

Hoping and praying that your son is in your arms soon.

Tammy and Parker

dana said...

How do you stay sane... OK, maybe I am assuming too much, but it is almost over, bad hogar or not. Love you!

Anonymous said...

This is just so disturbing. They really put you against the wall on this. But, I would have told them that they would not get one more penny until I got there to pick up the child....and only after receiving all the travel documents would they get the rest of the money. The same way they threatened you guys, you should have threatened them back by saying they would be reported to the Ministerio Publico.

That's what I did, and only after I was handed all of my son's travel documents, did I release the final payment.

I know, your ultimate interest and desire at this point in time is to bring him home...but still, it's despicable the way some of those people have handled the adoptions of innocent children.

Let's just hope that under the new system this kind of crap ends.


Andrea said...

Wow. That is beyond despicable.

We need those babies HOME.

Wendy said...

Sanity is highly over-rated. Wine, on the other hand, is very good.....;-)

Anonymous said...

Wow, I love how they seem to not understand English so well in the beginning and "misunderstand" what was perfectly clear but then obviously they do (albeit bad spelling).

Foxxy One said...

I agree this is horrible. However, do you really want to put this out into the world where everyone (including the agency, the hogar & the embassy) can see it?

Wendy said...

Foxxy One, you obviously are new around here. Our agency was arrested and no longer able to work in the adoption industry. Our son is not in a hogar and is actually already legally ours. And if the embassy sees it and does something, more power to them. And yes, I want the WHOLE WORLD to know and stop allowing this kind of garbage to go on. These are children, precious human beings, not used cars.



It is despicable that a country who allows the adoption of their children to English speaking countries would not ensure that the agencies/attorneys have at least one English speaking(and understanding) representative to communicate with.

If they truly have these children's best interests at heart this would be in place and the problems that arise over documents etc would be lessened.

Very sad.

I will be overjoyed to read that Ahren and PBJ will be home soon and truly able to begin their lives with your wonderful family.


Susan said...

This is abolutely amazing . . . and despicable . . . and disgusting.

Hoping to hear of your travel plans soon.

Anonymous said...

Hey Foxy,

What's your point? Hum, in process and afraid the USE or the world will find out what's going on? I'd like to shout it from roof tops, these are precious children we are talking about not commodities! I'd be tickled pink if the US Embassy gave a rats, behind, but guess what - they know who the criminal agencies and facilitators are and they DON'T care. You bet we want people to hear us, to hear the children's stories. I'm betting your adoption was picture perfect, your child's Mom was a housekeeper who just could not afford to keep her and their was absolutely 100% posively no coercion or corruption involved, lucky you. Take off the sunglasses darling...

Ana's Mommy

jeneflower said...

Adoption pulls out all the stops when it comes to intense emotion. Hate, fear, love, hope, loss, victory, relief, etc. You are admired. Try to hold on.

Andrea said...

OMG. I thought I was floored yesterday. I am BEYOND floored tonight. What an incredibly sad commentary on how these people view our children.

Anonymous said...

To Wendy and all other adoptive parents who have had nightmare adoptions:

Seriously, some of you guys who had terrible adoptions and extremely corrupt lawyers/facilitators, -who like in Wendy's case, are trying to squeeze the last drop of energy left- should come up with a way to make this public. Write a book, an article or something and see that it gets published to reveal the kind of corruptions that goes on in Guatemala. There is just no reason for those people to be extorting money,other than the fact that they know the children are wanted home and the adoptive parents will be willing to pay the extra cost because they feel they have no other choice. Someone out there needs to speak up!

I almost fell into that deep, dark hole, but I was able to take the bull by the horns, so there was not getting one extra penny out of me.

I feel for all of you who have had to go thru this, especially you, Wendy, since you have stated you were even giving money to help support this man's hogar. Do you feel comfortable sharing his name? This kind of BS must stop.


Pattie & Rob said...

It's so sad to know that it really is about the money and not the children in Gutamala. It sickens me to think about what goes on down there. I pray the rest of your journey to Ahren will go quickly and smooth.

Kristi said...

Wendy, you know I understand! It's the blind eye that is turned to it over and over and over that sickens me!!! And nope no one cares....well, no one but the PAP's. I just don't know what else to say. Hoping Ahren is home SOON and you can BLOW it open!!!

Much love -

dana said...

You are doing great keeping the focus. Soon that little guy will come home and then you can fight. Until then, you are right to keep the peace and pay the price as necessary. There is a time for everything... When the time comes, there is no one that I would rather have on my side than you!!! Go girl!!
Love you!

LouLou said...

Oh Foxxy One.... Wow. Where have you been for the last few years?? I am blessed to have an ethical attorney that is now a part of my family. From this man I have learned just how dirty the system is...... Everyone has their hand out.. They view these children as a paycheck... a way to earn a buck.... they have no problem threatening parents... my "Christian" agency threatened me... said they wouldn't continue AP's adoption if I had contact with ANYONE in Guatemala.... They didn't want me digging... they didn't want me to KNOW. I have talked to SO many people who have gone through similar things. Wendy, I applaud you. I wanted to scream my story from a mountaintop, but I was afraid that I may jeopardize someone else's adoption.... It's all sickening. Just sickening. Ahren is not a commom good.... He is a little boy whose family has been waiting for him for TOO long. We all need to get vocal and speak up for ALL these kiddos left.....

Vanessa said...

AMEN!! Wendy I'm right there with you because these things need to stop! I was also threatned a bunch of times by my wonderful agency to stop my case because x y or z happened or I called them out on something!! It's horrible and once my baby girl was home I told my story and it did a world of good because others began to speak as well!!

I would also like to share that their are non-profit organizations out there who truly have LOTS and LOTS of people fooled with their smoke screens and they will also do whatever possible to keep the truth from being told even if it means bashing what use to be loyal donors! I hope all the BS stops because it kills me when I travel to the hogars and hold these children!! I held a 6 week old who was abanodoned in May!! Come on people get the shit right so these kids can have forver familes!! Wendy do your thing girl!! I'm here if you need me!!

Angel said...

AWFUL... It's almost over. THANK GOODNESS! Angel