Thursday, June 19, 2008

The dreams have begun...

I have very vivid dreams that I usually remember every day. I can remember dreams I had in the past, way back to my childhood. I even have favorite recurrent dreams that are like old friends to me. But I also frequently have anxiety dreams. You know the type. You are at work and realize you are not wearing pants. You have a test but you can't find the classroom. You are being chased but your legs are made of lead and you can't move. The classics.

I have begun to have anxiety dreams about picking up Ahren. Last night I dreamed I was at the hotel and I had him and PBJ there with me. They were both asleep and Katie had a high fever. I needed to get her some medicine, so I left them in the room and went to the pharmacy. I couldn't make the pharmacy understand what I wanted. Finally, I wrote it on a piece of paper and they understood and I got it. When I got to the elevator to go back upstairs, a man in a wheelchair fell over in front of me and I had to stop and help him. Then I couldn't get the elevator to come. Once I got off on our floor I couldn't find our room. Finally, I found it, but the door was ajar. When I went in it was a mess and no one was there. I saw blood, then I heard crying. I finally found Ahren and PBJ on the floor behind the curtains, only they weren't kids anymore, they were cats! (Ahren the cat still had curly hair) That's when I woke up.

I hate dreams like that! I know it's just anxiety (and maybe a bit of psychosis...) but they leave me unsettled all day afterwards. Arghhh.

Good news is that the attorney picked up Ahren's file, the birth mother signed off and they have submitted for the new birth certificate. We are cooking right along. I also should find out soon a little bit on PBJ's case. The attorney on her case who had been in trouble with PGN had the final hearing last week and they were supposed to have dropped the charges and resolved the issue. That would mean her case could be submitted back to PGN right away. That would be fantastic!

5 comments:

Ellie said...

I SO KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT THOSE DREAMS...

I still remember the one I had before I picked up Angelena... It wasn't very good, and I kept having it over and over again... Almost to where, I was expecting it to happen on Pickup...

BUt, not at all... It was amazing... AS it will be for you!

YA on the news about PBJ!~ THis could all happen this year... Both home ~!

dana said...

I know those dreams, I am sorry. It is going to be fine. This verse popped up on my screen today, it is for us.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

God knows what you are going through and seems to be giving you comfort in many ways. Throw a rock and hang on, because it is going to happen! Ahren is coming home!!
Love you!

Amy said...

Oh, I HATE those dreams! It's definitely the anxiety and it will pass....in the meantime, put up your feet, take a long bath, have a margarita, get a massage....in general, just chill. Your time with Ahren is coming and it will all be ok. Hugs

Diana said...

All those dreams mean is that it's time to OD on chocolate and take a nice, long bubble bath. :-) Enjoy it while it lasts, too.
I don't remember the last time I was able to take one, let alone one by myself...and it's been years and year years since I've had one without a squeeky duck staring at me!

Adoption is a crazy ride. Leave it in the Lord's hands. These are His children. He knows the end from the beginning and will make sure things happen when and how they're supposed to.

Baby John's Crib said...

Let me say selfishly that I'm glad I'm not alone in crazy dream-land. Stress does it every time.

I won't say "chill" or "relax" - both are far easier said than done. Enjoy getting ready for your new son, I'm sure next thing you know, you'll be on a plane to Guate for pick-up.