What did you say?

Anyone with kids knows that the things that come out of their mouths are totally random and often hilarious. You will also realize that the same can be said about what comes out of your own mouths at times. Here is a sampling of some recent things I have heard/said.

Today I am not Levi. I am Astah Valentino.

Please do not put your sword in my hair while I am driving.

Mommy, I think I peed in the corner.

Bacon makes my brain stretch.

I want a football for dessert.

Mommy, are you going the speed lemon?

Mommy, Seth hit me. Well, he was thinking of hitting me!

Ahren, will you be my girlfriend? (Said by his brother...)

When I am five do I have to wipe my butt?

Mommy, you are not a jerk. You are my Mommy.

I caught a Fat Kish!!! (translation....catfish)

Does meat love make you bad? (had to have him repeat that one 3 times)

My butt is clapping for joy.

I ate a duck.

Quit saying the word 'crotch'!

I'm gonna get yer eyeball! (this one made someone pee their pants in hysterical laughter)

You got boogers in yer nose!

Fart fly.

Mommy, is heh a bad word?

Mommy, are you bigger than Santa? (Oh criminy, am I that fat?)

Do elves wear underwear?

Mommy, what is 'rectal bleeding'? (Thank you Discovery Health channel)

You are mean. You are super duper mean. (I hear this a LOT!)

Get your feet out of my pants.

Seriously, I often wonder if we even speak english. That is how often I do not understand what is being said to me. I spend my days in a perpetual state of 'Huh'?