If you only knew....

I try and be a calm, patient, graceful person. I try and treat people with respect and dignity. I try especially hard with my children because I truly believe that they learn more from watching us than they could ever learn by what we tell them. (Do they even HEAR what we tell them???)

But......inside my head there is Little Wendy and she has a cruel mouth, a sarcastic streak and a bad temper. She never shuts up either. Her constant running commentary on everything is one part maddening and one part comical. Here is what she was saying this morning on the drive to drop Levi off at school. (Remember, no one but me hears Little Wendy)

Boy 1 to Boy 2: Stop that, it's annoying.

Little Wendy: Yeah, right, like you have never been annoying! You, the King of Annoying, have some nerve talking.

Boy 2 to Boy 1) I don't have to stop it. You be quiet.

Little Wendy: Be quiet? Heck, that ain't going to happen. That child is NEVER quiet. The earth would sooner stop spinning.

Boy 1: I can talk if I want to.

Little Wendy: And talk if you don't want to, and talk if the moon is blue, and talk if your tongue fell off, and talk, talk, talk until the cows come home.

Boy 3: Mawwwwww-aaaaawwwwwm, he just touched my leg.

Little Wendy: Oh for crying out loud. What a big baby. He touched your leg while sitting next to you in the car. Call the Army, call the papers, call the President. Wah, wah wah.

Boy 1: I can talk. I can talk. I can talk.

Little Wendy: But can you shut up? Shut up? Shut up? SHUT UP!

So you see, Little Wendy is really not a nice person. Now I need to go clean my house because surely CPS will be knocking on my door later to investigate Little Wendy's role in parenting this brood.