Friday, September 24, 2010


Yesterday was not much improved over the recent behavior. Little boys had to go to bed early once again. I decided to cast on a sweater on my knitting needles and that definitely helped my stress level go down. There is something zen about knitting that lulls me into a happy place.

This morning, we had a meltdown in the car while dropping Levi off because....are you ready for this? I would not rent a limo to take the boys to school. Kaboom! And just that easily someones head spun around and pea soup shot out and only the seatbelt kept him from levitating. It was a short one thank goodness.

Then, 15 minutes later, we hit the mother load of emotions. This time I asked the boys to play somewhat quietly for 10 minutes while I caught the last little bit of a show I had DVR'd. I told them when I was done they could play the Wii. During that 10 minutes, they got louder and louder, moved from their room to the floor in front of me, and finally resorted to smacking each other to get my attention. I stopped several times to remind them of what I was asking them to do which would result in 30 seconds of peace. When I finished my show I told them that because they could not respect my wishes for 10 minutes, that they had to wait another 10 minutes before playing the Wii. And then the earth stopped spinning and began to shake and monsters rose from the seas to devour small towns and the sun turned blood red.

Seth lost it. He screamed and hit himself and scratched himself and kicked, and well, you get the idea. I picked him up and placed him on the bed and walked away. His screaming rose to the level of brain damaging. Then, the trash talk started. I hate you, you don't want me, I'm gonna burn this house down, you're going to leave me outside for all day, etc. The funny thing is that he doesn't really know any truly nasty things to say, so these are the meanest things he can come up with. Every few minutes I popped my head around the door and told him that as soon as he could quiet himself I would be in to talk to him. Well, it took a while. Maybe thirty minutes? And then he called out in his sweet pipey little voice that he was ready. So I took Ahren in there too and we all sat on the bed for a talk. I asked Seth why he was so upset, and he claims that he was angry because I wouldn't let him play the Wii ever again and that everyone always was hitting him and wouldn't stop when he asked them too. So I calmly explained that I only told them they had to wait 10 minutes and why I said that. I also busted him on the hitting part. I asked for an example of when he was being hit, and he couldn't come up with one, but I did remind him he got in trouble the night before for hitting his brother. That got me a smirk from him.

Then I asked both of them how Seth could have handled the situation better. We all came up with ideas. And then.....I called him out on the trash talk. I asked him why he says mean things and he said he was mad. I told him it was fine to be mad but that I would NOT put up with the trash talk. Then I got right down into his face and I told him saying those things were GARBAGE, and each time I said garbage, I tickled him. Garbage, garbage, garbage. Now that is going to be our cue word. if either boy starts in with the trash talk, I will yell GARBAGE and tickle them. A physical and auditory cue to break the cycle. Will this work? Heck if I know. This is desperation on my part.

Wish us luck!


Diana said...

Yuck. So sorry! RAD sucks buckets!! We had some similar stuff last night and again this afternoon thanks to the fire truck assembly at school today. Joy.

Eat some chocolate, take a bubble bath, and keep hanging in there!

FosteringDreams said...

I'm sorry. Oddly, I had a similar experience with my 17yo last night. We've been talking about how we need to start developing strategies for breaking out of the trash talk. (Options other than us retreating to our room until we're strong enough to return to it.) I wish I could carry him to his bed, but, he's taller and heavier than I am.

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Sigh. I wish I didn't know, but I do, exactly what you are talking about. The tickle idea sounds like a good one, let us know how it goes.