Parenting Head-scratchers

There are many things about parenting that I fully expected. Diapers that leak, sick kids with massively snotty noses, whining, laughing, potty training, the TEEN years. But there are a LOT of things that have really surprised me. Like how it's been exactly 15 years since I got to go to the bathroom uninterrupted. I even try and sneak off and use the farthest one away, and invariably they find me. It's pee pee radar. The Navy needs to study it!

Another thing is that kids do not, no matter how many times you tell them, remember to flush the toilet. They can be in there and you are yelling thru the door, 'Don't forget to flush', and out they walk without flushing. What's really funny is that before they learned to use the potty, flushing it was a fabulous game. It was flush flush flush all day long.

And kids love to be naked. At least until they hit puberty. That is something no one ever warned me about. I certainly didn't see it coming. For the first 18 months or so clothes stayed on their little bodies. Then, in one blink of an eye, we turned into a toddler nudist camp. Katie was especially bad. At night, I would add duct tape over the tabs on her diaper, then turn her one piece pajamas backwards so she couldn't unzip them. It seems extreme, but after several mornings of a naked, pee coated tot greeting me, I found this was the only thing that worked most of the time. (That little Houdini could still get out of them sometimes, although I don't have a clue how)

Kids would rather play with the box than what was inside of it. Any large cardboard box is the ultimate toy. It's a fort, a boat, a train and a cave all rolled into one. And the best part? They aren't made in China with lead based paint!!!!

Kids will never, ever do the super cute thing when you want them too. Like once you have the camera, or anyone is watching. Forget it. Talk to the hand, Mom. I am absolutely NOT about to do it again. You snooze, you lose.

One thing that amazes me the most is how much Katie adores Levi (and him her). She hugs and kisses him every day, tells him she loves him, buys him things with her own money, and just loves to hang around with him. They are 11 years apart, and yet they are so close. They play a little word game every day. Katie will say something like, "I love you more than a mouse loves cheese" and Levi will say something similar back. His are pretty funny though. Yesterday he told her he loved her more than a rat loves his toes.

There are many other head-scratching moments at my house. Like how you can buy your child 6 pairs of shoes and still not be able to find one single pair that matches. Or how NONE of the socks coming out of the dryer make a pair. Why there is part of a dried up pickle under the entertainment center? How there can be sticky spots on the kitchen floor when I just mopped 10 minutes ago? What in the world are the funny orange fingerprints on the window ledge? How I am supposed to pull stretchy books covers out of thin air at 6:30 am, have 3 empty egg cartons for school the next morning, or 4 empty 2 liter bottles by art class. Or how I can spend $200 at the grocery store and we still don't have anything to eat.

Someone really should write a book. Then again, it might cause a steep population decline if they knew the truth.........