Vomitus Maximus vs Scalded Monkey

This week was going along swiftly and surely, each day moving in the cadence of busy lives and happy kids. Our newest version of normal was settled in and life was, well, not easy but at least predictable.

Then in the wee hours of Thursday morning a pitiful little voice awakened me from a dream about flying. Levi was there beside me telling me his tummy hurt. I asked him if he thought he was going to throw up and he said No, it just hurt. Hmmm, maybe dinner had disagreed with him so I gave him some antacid and snuggled him into bed beside me. Thirty seconds later he sat bolt upright and proceeded to vomit at least 4 days worth of food all over our bed. Poor Chris just sat there in stunned silence, while I ran for towels.

While cleaning up the mess and running dirty bedding and towels to the washer, I must have made too much noise because Ahren wandered out of his room demanding that I go lay with him. Well, little man, that is NOT going to happen right now because I have at least 2 loads of vomit-covered laundry to do and a sick little boy to try and get settled. So Ahren proceeded to sit on the couch in the dim light and sob and moan and complain while I started the washer, re-made the bed, added clean towels for future 'episodes' and tried to re-assure Levi he was OK. Once Chris and levi were settled in bed, I went back out to try and get Ahren to go back to bed. That resulted in a small scream-fest that awoke the rest of the house (and maybe our closest neighbors?) and made me want to stuff a dirty sock in his mouth. Hey, it was 2:30 am and i was ill-equipped to handle the scalded-monkey routine!

So Ahren sat on the couch next to me while I watched a DVR'd show. I used head phones so he couldn't hear the sound and didn't get to enjoy the show. I kept telling him that as soon as he was ready to lay down I would help get him settled, but he adamantly refused to lie down. This went on for an hour at which point Levi woke up and vomited all over the bed again. This time it hit mostly towels and I again hauled a load of laundry to the washer, switched loads and started another. While I was busy, Ahren decided that my absence from him was cause for a nuclear meltdown and yet again he awoke the entire household.

So Round 2 ended with new towels on the bed, new jammies, settling Seth back into bed and once again sitting on the couch with McScreamy. I watched another DVR'd movie and Ahren stubbornly refused to give in and lie down.

Forty-five minutes later Levi was struck with another round of vomiting. This time all he had in him was the water and sprite we had convinced him to drink. And predictably, while I was busy switching out towels and making Levi comfortable, Ahren was busy shrieking his displeasure for the 48 continental states to hear. Repeat Round 2, settle Levi and Seth, threaten Ahren that I will make him sleep in the barn if he doesn't get quiet and try and get all back to sleep. At this point poor Chris had to get up and get ready for work. I stayed on the couch with McScreamy, again and again stressing to the obviously tired child that whenever he wanted to lie down I would help get him settled. (Note: he was not scared, did not have a bad dream, and was merely pissed that I would not sleep with him. I was willing to sit with him until he fell asleep, but that wasn't good enough)

Thirty minutes later....yeah, you guessed it. Round 4 of vomitus maximus. This time when Ahren went postal while I was trying to help clean up Levi, I placed his screamy behind into bed in the guest room and left him. I had lost all patience and if I had to deal with him at that moment it would not have been pretty. I started the 4th load of laundry, re-made the bed yet again, got Levi gatorade and water, and tucked him in. Luckily Seth slept through this one, probably because Ahren was separated by several walls now.

Ahren screamed until 5:30 am. He called me every bad name he knew, screamed every mean thing he could think of, and essentially was as ugly as a 4 year old could possibly be. I will admit it, I ended up popping his pull-up clad butt. It made me feel bad/guilty and just made him madder. In the end, I brought him into my bedroom and made a pallet on the floor next to my bed. I offered him that spot, explaining that Levi might throw up on him so he couldn't get in the bed. He laid down and was asleep in 10 seconds. I snuggled Levi and tried to doze. Just as I began to really relax....more vomit. Ahren woke up and we just decided at that point to call uncle. Ahren and I got up, did laundry together, called Levi in sick to school and let everyone else sleep.

I still had to work all day, so one hot shower, 3 cups of coffee and an energy drink are how I survived, but I think I lost a few brain cells in the process. Or maybe a few million.