Tuesday, April 08, 2008

I was speechless....

Yesterday, I was had a conversation with a woman who does humanitarian work in Africa. It was very interesting. She was explaining the differences in some of the African countries like Rwanda, Ethiopia, etc. and how they are getting adoption programs started to help the orphaned children. Then she dropped a bomb on me. She said we should give up on PBJ because 'no one wants a brain damaged child. They are too much trouble.'

I have no words to explain what went through my head and through my heart. It stabbed deep into my soul. I have known for a long time that PBJ is viewed as a throw-away. She was viewed like that in her own country because she is a female and Mayan. Add to that the unknown of how the brain injury will affect her life and even 'humanitarians' view her as nothing more than human waste.

I look at her sweet little face and I see life, hope, a future. I see my daughter.


What do you see?

By the way, that was no friend of mine. It was the first time I had ever talked to her. Someone else gave her my number to chat about saving kids. Ironic, huh?

37 comments:

Ellie said...

I see the look on that adorable little face saying... I WILL BE HOME SOON MOMMY!... I AM JUST ON A LITTLE VACATION...

AS FOR YOUR FRIEND...

I HAVE 2 WORDS FOR HER, and the I can't say the first one, but the 2nd word is... ".... OFF"

You don't need friends like that... Someone needs to knock her down off her pedastal...

Hugs
Ellie

ManyBlessings said...

I see the strongest little girl ever.

I see a child of God.

I see a baby worth every tear and worth fighting for.

I see your daughter.
d

Kathy said...

I see a fighter and a survivor! I don't know you except from reading your blog but I think that you are a fighter too and you will make sure that beautiful little girl has the best life. How awful for someone to say that to you. How awful for someone to even think that about any child.

Pattie & Rob said...

Hi Wendy – You don’t know me, but I always read your blog and I just have to say Wow, I’m shocked. That woman calls herself a humanitarian!! She should have been praising you for your strength and your commitment to help and love PBJ. When I look at the picture of this beautiful child, your daughter, I think what a beautiful and strong soul. Just looking at her precious little face makes me smile. And thank the Lord she has you as her Mother. Wow, I’m still in shock I had to read your post twice. I know you are on a long journey with PBJ and yes she’s had a rough start but it can only lead to happiness for both of you. I keep your family in my prayers. And as far as that other woman goes, I feel pity for her.

Pattie

Mom2noah said...

I see a beautiful.....daughter.....

Don't listen to that "friend" I bet she has no adopted children. People do not understand even when we get a referral picture.......they are OUR children. Don't you EVER give up!

Krystal said...

I see my friend's daughter. A beautiful, perfect little girl. A little girl that I would sure like to cuddle and hug!!


It hurts doesn't it. I know that pain in your heart. Children are not pieces of paper to be thrown away and replaced with a new or "better" one. . . Your child is your child, and you have never thought twice about it. I am so glad that you love PBJ all the way :)

Marlene said...

OMG! Wendy I am so sorry that had to be so hard to hear. I can't believe some people, especially in the adoption world. Their are MEAN people everywhere and eventhough you probably wanted to punch her lights out, you are a better person than that. And you know what? She will have to answer to God for that. Hang is there! DON'T give up!

Becky said...

I see the face of an angel-- A precious little girl longing to come home to her forever family!

How horrible that that woman would say such a thing to you. My youngest daughter has many medical issues and people frequently ask me if I would have gone through with the adoption if I had known prior to bringing her home - WITHOUT QUESTION! She IS my daughter as PBJ is yours. Hang in there - you have an awesome family and one day you will all be together.

Lou said...

I see an angel face straight from heaven. People don't get that our adopted kids are just like our bio kids to us. If one of our other kids had a brain injury would we just give up on them?? Nope! That's why you will NEVER give up on PBJ! You are her mama.

Lucinda Naia said...

Even though I may not post often, I check your blog almost every day.

The woman who said that had no idea what she was saying or the impact on you. She could possibly even have thought she was being helpful.

This woman may have done wonderful things in the name of humanity. This same woman could possibly think that it's okay for an HIV positive child to remain in an orphanage in Africa instead of being loved by a forever family in the States.

It doesn't matter what she thinks.

What matters - adoptive parents love their children regardless of skin color or potential physical / mental / emotional problems.

Your daughter is beautiful. She is worth every action you're taking. Unfortunately, some people (even people who do a lot of good for other people) cannot comprehend what you're doing.

I know an agency director who signs off every email with "What we focus on expands"

Let's focus on your love for PBJ and let's focus on getting her home to the States....

Julie said...

I LOVE Lucinda's post... let's focus on getting PBJ home -- she's a child of God and YOURS to boot!

I see a gorgeous little baby who can wait to live with her forever family!!

BTW - as a humanitarian - does she decide who's human enough for her to help?? strange...

Anonymous said...

I see a daughter, a sister, but most of all I see a child of GOD!...

I can't believe what was said!

PBJ will prove everyone WRONG!!!!

KEEP IT UP WENDY! YOU ARE AMAZING!

-karen

Anonymous said...

Beauty, exuberance, peaceful, vigor, adornment, MENTOR, are just the first few words I think of when looking at PBJ. She is absolutely perfect. I love that face!

dana said...

Your letter today brought tears to my eyes. In the picture, I see my niece - a beautiful, spunky, little charmer with a flash in her eyes. I see a ton of personality and a very young brain that is capable of reconecting and overcoming any damage. I see a child that needs love and is already deeply loved by her family here in the US! Don't give up!!

Oh, Alexa has decided that she is brain damaged due to prematurity and that is why she cannot get an A in Geography... We aren't giving up on her either - she is family...

Susan said...

I see a beautiful, precious child who deserves to be HERE with her FAMILY.

Now excuse me while I go pick my jaw up off the floor.

Kim said...

I see a beautiful, vibrant, resilant, amazing little girl. I see a little girl who has a family who loves her very much - who will fight for her. I see a child of God. I see someone with TONS of potential. I see a family who will give that little girl all of the opportunities to become the best that she can be - no matter what that best is.

I can't imagine someone that you don't even really know would say something like that to you. Amazing.

I can't imagine that she will be too much trouble......

Momto13 said...

All children have equal worth and all children need a family. How dare she? I nearly threw up right on my keyboard when I read that. I am so sorry, some people just don't think before they let the crap fly out of the mouth!
As a mom to a "brain damaged Haitian 2 year old"... I find it particularly replusive. My daughter has been the greatest blessing of my whole life!
Prayers for this womans soul.
Sarah

Amy said...

I see a beautiful little girl that is a blessing from the Lord to a family that will love her.

Anonymous said...

You don't know me, but I read your blog every day. I see a beautiful little girl that that will be lucky to be your daughter someday (soon hopefully). She will be loved and taken care of and have all of the best medical care at her disposal to overcome any injury she sustained. You sound like a woman with a family that can provide that, and now you have even more determination to do so!
Deb in Maryland

Stacey, Mike & las cinco chicas locas said...

I see a tiny girl who could teach all of us a few things!

I see your daughter.

Hang in there,
Stacey

Anonymous said...

Wow, I am so sorry. I'm sure that was a painful thing to hear. I don't know that I would be able to contain my rage at such a remark. I see a beautiful, sweet little girl who is a fighter and a survivor through and through.

Natalie C. said...

I see innocence.

I see love.

I see your daughter.

Amy said...

Wait...and this woman really does humanitarian work??!?!?!?! I mean, what the heck is she doing in that field?!?!?! Well, all I can say is, I'm sure glad it's not her who had the referral. Hang in there Wendy, we know why you are doing this and we support you, and most importantly, PBJ needs you.
(((HUGS)))

Priscilla said...

I see unparalleled cutesness, a sweet spirit, and a precious child that cannot wait to come home to be with her family. I see a wee little girl who is worth it all, as any child would be.

Pfft to the other woman. She shouldn't air her own stupidity like that in public.

Baby John's Crib said...

I see beauty. I see potential. I see value and worth.

Meridith said...

I see a survivor! My daughter has brain damage as a result of her birithmother's alcohol abuse. Our daughter is a gift, perfectly placed in our home, to be our daughter. PBJ is yours!

Terri said...

I see a beautiful baby girl that needs to be home with her mama! And she will be!

Mommy said...

I see a child created in God's image and the apple of His eye.

She is perfection just as she is and will do many wonderful things in her life!!

That person is no humanitarian.

Much love and counting the days until that angel is home with you.
Tammy

Dewey & Stacey said...

I don't post much but I keep up with your blog.
I see an amazing angelic face. She is your daughter,and it is beyond me how anyone could say something so heartless and callous. There are really so many uneducated people out there.
PBJ is going to be home before you know it.
Best Wishes
Stacey

Kumen said...

I see the most precious angel worth ever bit of wait and worry! PBJ has that "something" that makes me want to jump through my computer to hug and love on her. Her face, those eyes are so special. You are one lucky mommy...I think that everyday when I visit your blog. I can't wait to see her running around that new pond of yours with Levi & Ahren....I can't wait!

Kerri

Cathie said...

You do not know me but I follow your blog. I have always thought to myself that you were one amazing strong, loving women and mother. YOur daughter is one strong little girl and her mother is a stong big girl. Love, potential, family, and an amazing spirit is what I see whenever I see a picture of your daughter and pictures of all your children. YOu are an amazning mother!!!

To hear someone who was suppose to be helping children in need say what she did angers me. Children are our gifts from God and it is up to us to protect and nuture them. People get so lost in their idea of how to serve that they forget what we are being asked to serve.
You will never forget that becuase you are one of the strongest forces on earth, YOUR are a Mother!!
Hugs and praying your children home
Cathie
Proud Mama to Caden Paul Oswaldo

Mamita J said...

All I can say is: You see your daughter as God sees her. An absolutely precious child made in His image.

Stand strong, Wendy. She's worth fighting for.

Love,
Julie

Anonymous said...

Hah in my eyes I see my beautiful princess who is gonna grow up to be amazing. I see someone who now has an awesome testamony to share with the world, to make a difference.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18

17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
:)


Kaytee

Hawk said...

I see the luckiest child in the world... because even when someone else doesn't want her, she has a mamma who is fighting for her, cries for her, laughs for her, learns for her, and most of all... has unconditional love for her.

~Hawk

Angel said...

You have GOT to be KIDDING ME!!!! NOT POSSIBLE!!! AACKK!!! What is wrong with that WOMAN?? That precious little face is just as highly valuable as any diplomat or president. She is treasure beyond measure. She is AMAZING and so are you. I love you friend and I am so proud that you will NEVER give up on her because she has challenges. Love, Angel

Kimberly said...

Wendy, from first-hand experience, I can just say that woman is so, SO wrong. PBJ will amaze you every day. Stay strong. BTW, I am copying down your Kaytee's post - wonderful verse.

Milk Mama said...

Oh my G*d! I can't believe that anyone would ever see such a beautiful angel as waste! It breaks my heart! Did you find PBJ through Rainbow Kids? I have it in my heart to adopt through there one day. Everyone deserves a home!

That woman was just plain heartless!