Ashley Graduation 2013

Sigh....my second baby girl is a graduate of high school. Officially an adult,  grown-up

big girl! Can't bring myself to say those words, but she is a high school graduate!

Here is proof that I can clean up, wear jewelry, have pretty nails, and even toddle around in high heels. This was at dinner after the ceremony.

 

In typical Wendy fashion, I ran out of the hotel in a frenzy without my camera so am waiting on everyone else to send me the pics they snapped. I did get a lot of shots at the celebratory dinner. On a side note: the graduation was at a ginormous venue in Plano, Texas so I researched hotels nearby and ended up making reservations at the Marriot Residence Inn on Quorum. One word: AWESOME! We had a 2-bedroom, 2 bath suite with a living room and kitchen, fireplace, 3 flat screen tv's, pool, basketball court and wonderful free hot breakfast buffet. Wonderful service and amazing rooms. Plus it was only 10 minutes from the graduation venue.

So many wonderful choices for dinner, how can we choose?

This was a fine-dining restaurant but they embraced my boys and didn't blink an eye. The chef made special kids plates for all 3 boys based on what they each said they liked. We had a large corner table where we could all relax and enjoy. And maybe cut up a little....what can I say....they get it from their father(s).

I had been bugging Ashley for a couple of weeks that she needed to decide where she wanted to eat so we could get reservations. She finally told me on Wed. night, and sent me the info Thursday morning. Needless to say, there were no reservations to be had at that restaurant, a Texas legendary string of family owned restaurants. So I set about finding a steak and seafood restaurant that we could get into and also was suitable. More in a minute.......

Kaytee and her main squeeze Tabor. I think I might like him just a little bit more than I like her........

I spent my lunch hour Thursday searching seafood restaurants in that part of Dallas and I stumbled on a small family owned restaurant that had rave reviews and an award winning chef. I was nervous but called them anyway. Sure, no problem, 9 diners for 6:30 pm the following day. All set. Then I found out you could order special flowers to be waiting on the table when you arrive. So I ordered that too. I did a little nail biting and knocking on wood hoping it was as wonderful as all the reviews said. 

Kaytee and Ashley's Dad Chris on the left and his brother Greg on the right. Hmmm...I wonder if they are related? Hah! I love Greg, he is my favorite ex-in-law of all time. 

The graduation ended earlier than we had estimated and then I realized that I cannot count and had only reserved a table for 9 (I think I subconsciously excluded my ex. I know I counted Greg, since i was so hoping he would come to dinner with us!) So at 5 pm we called the restaurant to see if we could change the reservation to 10 people at 6:00pm. No problem! We are ready whenever you are. Was this a good sign or a bad sign? I didn't know.

Kaytee showing me her opinion of my driving ability in rush hour Dallas traffic. Hey, I didn't hit anybody and the crazy lady in the red car honked at me and also at other people! Notice Tabor in the background. He chose to be neutral  on the subject. Wise man.

We arrived at the restaurant in 3 separate cars, all met in the bar area and then were led to our table. The flowers were already there! And beautiful too. What a great surprise. Many families had picked up grocery store roses for their graduates, but I wanted something different. Something vibrant and special, just like my girl. These are Alstromerias, one of my favorites. They are like little colorful orchids.

After we ordered, Ashley opened presents. This is the savings bond Grandma and Grandpa Jarman sent  her. When Levi saw it his eyes got really big. Apparently he understands the value of money. Hmmmm. Ashleys eyes got big too. Then a little misty. Sweet girl.

My parents also sent money plus my Mom sent her 50 year high school key. This is the 60th reunion of her graduation and Ashley is her mini-me grandchild (we still aren't sure if that is a good thing....HAHA!) She and Ashley have struggled through many of the same health and emotional issues in childhood. They look alike, act alike and think alike. Whenever I didn't understand Ashley I called my Mom and asked her what was going on. She always knew exactly what was going on in Ashley's pretty little stubborn head.

The service at the restaurant was top notch. We never had to wait on anything, she was prompt and thorough, but never overbearing. It's like she had a sixth sense when someone needed anything. In fact, she didn't even bat an eye when Kaytee asked for ketchup for her fish. (I, on the other hand, was mortified and pretended I did not know her!!!! For proof see the small silver cup of ketchup next to Kaytee's plate.)

Lots of conversation allowed me to get a candid shot here. What a beautiful couple, inside and out.

Another candid shot.

Lobster for Ashley. It was phenomenal. In fact all of the food was superb. Ten entrees, ten winners.

The only interesting and a bit surprising bit to the restaurant? The artwork. We decided that this was a modern representation of a male transvestite trying to socialize. Or not......

Want to know where we ate? Remington's Seafood Grill on Beltline Rd in Addison, Texas. Total success for our special celebration. Even though we got reservations so easily, the place filled up to max soon after we arrived. I guess we just got lucky. Really, really lucky.

The End....Again

    On October 11th, 2006, which just happens to be my birthday, we embarked on a journey. We entered with the best of intentions, the desire to share all of our blessings with a child that needed us. We had been dealing with Ahren's crazy adoption processor a year and knew it would be a long time before it was resolved. We had made the decision to add a baby girl to our clan and I had been researching agencies. On that day, I received a phone call and then a single picture. A baby girl, just hours old, with the tiniest little sweetheart face. I forwarded the picture to Chris and within minutes were were accepting her as our daughter. Just 5 days later I held her in my arms for the first time. She looked up at me with wide open eyes, seeming to study and memorize my face. So tiny and yet she seemed like an old soul, just like Ashley. It's the look of deep wisdom in their eyes, like they know the secrets of the universe.
   One year later I was again holding her, only this time she was extremely ill. She was malnourished, had parasites and an infection, had been suffering grand mal seizures, and as the doctor gently showed me, a crack in her skull that traversed across the back of her head and up over one ear. She had been severely beaten, then days later dropped off at the hospital without anything. I stayed with her, the doctor releasing her to me, and nursed her back to health. Daily injections of antibiotics, high calorie nutrition and vitamins, and lots of love. I begged our embassy to intervene and allow me to get her to the US to receive treatment for the excess fluid on her brain. There was little they could do, but they were kind and empathetic. Once she was stronger and stable, I found a foster family that had experience in health care. I left her with them and she began to flourish.
    In August of 2008 on out trip to bring Ahren's home, I spent time with her. This was not the only visit, but it was to be the last. She was almost 2 years old and could walk holding onto a hand. Soon she would be walking by herself, a major accomplishment given the brain damage. She was happy and bright and energetic. It was so good to see her. I met with her doctors and set in place a new plan for therapy and treatment, just like we had done in the past. She needed as much intervention as possible to overcome the injuries to her brain. If I couldn't have her home with me, then I would be sure she got everything she needed there.
    Just weeks later we heard from our agency that her adoption had been deemed irregular and that they had taken her and placed her in a state run orphanage. How scared she just have been! How terrified when she was pulled out of her foster mothers arms and driven away to an unknown place. I can only imagine how horrible it must have been.
    We grieved, believing that this was the end of the road. Then, a couple of years ago, we get notice from our government that our adoption case is one of the open grandfathered cases in Guatemala. Our government wants to help get the stranded kids home. Hope! Disbelief!! Joy!!!! We ran through every emotion  and back again. Patiently we awaited news, supplied information and kept the faith. Little changed. Then just recently, a few kids came home!!! Could it be? Was it finally time to get these last children to their waiting families?
    A very special group of waiting parents reached out to me and began to explain the new process. It was essentially starting all over again, but it was working. American parents had been successful with the new system. I cannot explain the pure excitement, trepidation, joy, fear, etc that I experienced. I began to gird myself for a new battle. New paperwork, new demands, a LOT of money but more importantly a lot of energy and pain. I worried I couldn't do it. Worried if I should do it? Worried if I was capable of doing it. So gently, and quietly I made the first baby steps to begin the process. First up was to find out the current status of our i600, our petition to the US government to adopt out of the country.
    What we found out is that last fall, Peri Brynn, had been adopted by a family in Guatemala. Our case was permanently closed, no options left. It's odd, I am horribly sad, but also happy for her. She will not live in the orphanage, only to get kicked out as a teen and left on the streets to fend for herself. She has someone who loves her and cares for her. I would rather that be the case than her to wait in the orphanage for longer in the hopes that we would get her. We are sad, but at peace. God's will is done. I can live with that.

Life marches on....

Things around here at Chaos Central are revolving around the end of the school year, spending time having fun with family, and planning for the summer.

Bogey found the perfect spot to grab a nap. I don't know how comfortable that can be, but he was sacked out.

Here in Texas, we believe very strongly in the right to Bear Arms. 

Levi and his great friend Adam on Field Day. 

Adam looks a little scary......LOL!

Rio (on the right) snuggling with his best friend Peppy one foggy wet morning.

Run Ahren, Run! 

Me, 35+ pounds lighter and in a size 8 pants. Still a little tummy bulge to go. No secret, just hard work and consistency and a lot of little changes in my habits.

I treated the boys and their friends to cupcakes one day. Whoever thought blue frosting was a good idea? It certainly wasn't a Mother! You should have seen their mouths afterwards. A Smurf Gang!

Levi and his 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Vecera. He has always gotten the best teachers and this year was no different. We LOVED Mrs. Vecera and Ms. Hanus, his switch teacher. I really hope Ahren and Jonathan get them, too.

Jump, Jonathan, Jump!

 (Still struggling to call him Jonathan and not Seth, but he still loves me!)

When he read this he looked and me and said, "Well Duh!". 

Blaine 1992-2013

In Kaytee's Junior year of high school, she met a young man who had recently transferred to her school. He was completely different than her usual type. He liked to shave his head, he had tattoos, he rode a motorcycle and he belonged to a boxing club. Kaytee, being the total goody-goody, was immediately drawn to bad boy Blaine. But...Blaine was not really bad. Instead we got to know the total sweetheart that he was. He would sit with our little boys and play, he would give me big bear hugs, and he had the most gentle nature. He was just a pretend bad boy. 

Kaytee and Blaine at the Cheer Banquet

He chose his clothes to match Kaytee's dress. Awww....

Prom their Senior year. Blaine asked Kaytee to prom by writing the invitation on a $20 bill. She still has it, framed with a group of pictures of the two of them. They dated until the middle of their freshman year in college, when they split up. They stayed friends and Kaytee was always the first one Blaine called when he had a problem. She always told him she would be there for him, no matter what.

Last weekend Blaine did a stupid thing. He popped a wheelie on his motorcycle at night, hit a curb and landed on his head. On the outside, since he was wearing a helmet, everything looks normal. On the inside of  his head it was horrible. The force of the impact sheared much of his brain. On Monday they removed life support, and he passed peacefully on to better things.

Today we lay him to rest. It is a dreary, rainy day, fitting for this occasion. Kaytee is hurting badly and I am hurting for her. Please keep Blaine's family and Kaytee in your prayers today. It is going to be a rough one...

Weighing on my mind

  Six years, six months and two weeks ago I met my daughter for the first time. She was 6 days old. Teeny tiny and perfect in every way. Much like the Grinch, my heart grew three sizes that day.

  A couple of months ago a story began showing up in magazines and papers around the country. You can read it here: Guatemala Boy Comes Home . In case the link doesn't work, here is the URL
                            http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20686047,00.html

    I wanted to be happy. I wanted to feel like it gave me hope. Instead I was angry. Beyond angry. One. One small child. In six years, only one. Why? Heh, you would think that there was a huge complicated reason why almost one hundred innocent children are not allowed to go to the loving homes waiting for them. Nope, it's simple. Greed. The entities in Guatemala that govern adoptions will not cooperate because they all want the power and the money. They are unwilling to share, so the children and the families continue to suffer.

  Ever since I first saw this story I have not been able to stop thinking about my girl. Undoubtedly she does not remember me. The last time I saw her was when we were bringing Ahren home. That was over 4 years ago. Soon after that they took her form her foster family and placed her in an orphanage. It took me almost a year just to find out where she was living. The orphanage does not allow visits. Heck, they just are not very nice people and they won't even promise me that if I send gifts for her she would get them. Whatever I send they will use in whatever way they see fit, I have no say.

  The magazine article claims that the family spent $80K to bring their son home. Sheesh, we have spent way more than that. If I thought money could buy her freedom I would be forking it out. Ethical? Nope. But if it could bring these precious kids home, then many of us would be willing to push our ethics aside for the greater good. Maybe that family found out who to pay to get their son? If so, they need to share that information with the rest of us and our government's Guat 900 task force. (Did you know our government has been fighting to get our kids home? Yep, they have!)

  Mad. Just plain mad. Pissed. Angry. Mad. No more sad, depressed, patient. MAD!

It Finally Happened

When you adopt a child you do not always get a child that looks like you, but they feel the same in your heart, brain and very soul. Ahren was always our son, from the very first breath he breathed. I knew, Chris knew it, Ahren knew it and God knew it. The very first time I saw him, he was 8 months old and the first thing he did was hold his chubby little arms out to me. He wanted his mama. 

When you have children that don't look like you, even if they ARE your biological children, people ask questions. Stupid questions. Very, very stupid questions. Kaytee and Ashly are very different. Kaytee looks like a combo of me and her father. Ashley looks exactly (and acts exactly) like my mother. Both have the exact same genetic heritage and yet they are the sun and the moon. A woman once asked me if they had the same father. I told her No, but I wasn't sure about the mother. I walked away as she tried to figure that one out. Stupid question. 

This year at school, one little boy kept telling Ahren that I was not his Mommy. He has seen us at school, parties and the grocery store and he just couldn't wrap his little brain around it. He is 7 years old, so I don't mind it. He just doesn't understand. Ahren tried to explain, but he is also 7 and not the best articulator. This was really bothering him and it hurt his feelings. That did bother me.

Last week I saw this boy with his family (who happen to all look remarkably similar) at the store. I positioned myself and my boys in line behind them at the cash register. Then I called out to the boy and all the boys greeted each other. Once I had the attention, I loudly asked  him if he now believed that I was Ahren's Mommy. You see, Ahren is adopted from Guatemala and looks different but he is still my son and I am his Mommy. The boy said Yes, and the Mom's face turned bright red and she began stammering and sputtering. I smiled at her to let her know I wasn't upset, just helping him understand. She apologized and stammered on about her oldest child looking Indian (whatever that means) and then got out of there as fast as she could. 

Huuray for families with diversity and Hurray for spreading some i information, one 7 year old (and Mom) at a time!

Oh what a week!

  I knew when I decided to add grad school to my busy life that it would be a challenge.  This is not just school, it is accelerated higher learning and I am taking a course load that makes me more than half time. I am completing a full semester of classes every eight weeks. It's been hard but I am loving it.  This is not what made my week especially difficult.
  Oh no, not school or work or misbehaving kiddos. Nope, this was the week of pathogenic microbes. Monday morning Levi woke up with large swollen pussy tonsils. Nasty! Next Ahren woke up with an earache. Nice. I kept them both home and doctored them with my arsenal of meds. On Tuesday i had to work in the morning but made doctors appointments for them in the afternoon. Sure enough, two prescriptions for antibiotics and two referrals to an ENT. After the doctors office we picked up Seth/Jonathan (so hard to use his new name!) from school. He said his tummy was hurting and sure enough as I pulled out of the parking lot he began vomiting in my new van (we made it to 3,000 miles before the first major uh-oh in the new van). He threw up until the next morning and then I stayed home with him. He was full of energy and feeling better. I was exhausted.
  Then at 5 am Friday morning Levi runs into my room (Chris is already at work) and yelled Mom just before he began vomiting on the carpet. Just as he is finishing  up Ahren runs in behind him and said, "what is.........barf". Right on the carpet next to Levi. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the irony of it all, but I began laughing. I cleaned them up, got them situated with ginger ale and puke buckets, then I cleaned up the carpeting. Poor carpet, it has seen better days. It has been scrubbed so many times it looks nappy. I told Chris we should just leave the floors all cement and put in a floor drain.
So another day home with sick kids. Ahren set the record with 6 episodes (he was so proud). I sanitized everything I could all week, but it still spread. Poor Chris began vomiting late Friday night. Me? I am too tough and ornery to get sick. Hah! I laugh in the face of dual vomiting!

  So what a week. Homework is a piece of cake compared to stomached bugs.

Beautiful Girl, Inside and Out

I blinked and she was not a baby anymore. How does that happen? 

My beautiful Ashley. 

She was the most beautiful baby,

She was the most beautiful toddler. 

She was the most beautiful child.

Now she is my beautiful grown daughter.

How did I get so lucky?

Introducing the Newest Member of our Family

I am surprised that a while back when I mentioned that the social worker was coming to do our home study that no one asked about it. Well, we spent the morning at the courthouse finalizing our latest adoption.

Introducing ...........drumroll please..............

Jonathan

 Snazzy suit for court

Little man looked like a million bucks!

County Court #3

Judge Patrice McDonald presiding

A snazzy suit needs snazzy footwear 

Such tiny little feet!

Jonathan looking at Daddy.....

but why is Daddy making that face?

Hugs from brother Ahren

High five from brother Levi

Seth, Levi and Ahren waiting in the hallway before court

And finally, the happy face of Jonathan

(formerly known as Seth)

So why Jonathan? We let him decide. He came up with Jonathan and has never wavered from it. It turns out it means 'Gift from God' and that is what I have always told him. He is truly a gift from God.
See those puffy eyes I am sporting? I bawled like a baby, my heart absolutely overflowing with love and joy.

Santa photos

I am still working on catching up here. My Mom reminds me daily that she hasn't gotten photos. Then my Dad tells her to hush up because I am busy. Hah! 

Here are pics of the boys with Santa Claus. Every year our subdivision has a special 'Meet Santa' party for all the kids. They have it at the golf course clubhouse. Santa rides in on a fire engine, then he reads the Night before Christmas, we sing carols and the kids get to sit on his lap and tell him what they want this year. Mrs. Claus is there to help out and all the kids get a present. It is something we all look forward to every year. 

Levi laughing it up with the big guy.

Ahren looking a bit pensive. He told me later he couldn't remember what he wanted so he just asked for a truck. That child has the most gorgeous skin. 

 Seth looking worried. Gee I wonder why???

Humanity

My Dad sent this to me in an e-mail today. I have no idea if it is a true story, but honestly it doesn't matter. The message is still valid either way. In a day and age when man's crimes against one another seem to be all around us, isn't it time we teach our children about humanity?

Here is the story:

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.


Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do
Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued.. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'



Then he told the following story:


Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning..'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt.. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game..

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!' Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.


A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

"A" Baby Birthdays

Yesterday was a special day. Ashley and Ahren both had birthdays. Ashley turned 18 (noooooo!!) and Ahren turned 7. It's hard having a birthday right around Christmas. They just got a bunch of things and that makes shopping for something special really hard. Ahren got a tablet computer and new shoes. He loves shoes! Ashley hasn't decided what she might want. I am thinking maybe some money and a weekend for us girls at a spa. There won't be many more years where we would have the chance to spend that kind of time together.

  Right after the school tragedy our elementary school had a very large police presence. A policeman stood at the front door, two more cruisers sat in the front parking lot and one in the back lot. There were police patrols thru the hallways during the day. I was worried my boys would be scared but they all said it made them feel safe. Now, after the holiday break, we don't even have the traffic cop that works the car rider line. What is up with that? My kids noticed and they are worried. They don't feel safe now. Good lord what have we come to? I don't even know which way is better, cops in the school or not. Kids scared of killers with guns learning how to hide and play dead? Teachers keeping the blinds closed and doors locked at all times? Backpacks made of Kevlar so they are bullet proof? I am so sad, so angry, and so confused.

Seth is continuing his slide down the rabbit hole. He spent yesterday in the principal's office for bullying another child. He pinched him, punched him, and screamed in his face. And this isn't the first time he has picked on this child. When Chris picked him up from school Seth told him he had a great day and was on green. Chris already knew the truth so Seth got to sit on his bed until dinner. When I got home we talked to him. He looked really scared so maybe he gets it, but maybe not. We are cracking down on him. No social events, no playing with neighbors, no play dates, and he has to go to bed early every night. We explained this is not necessarily punishment, but what we have to do to keep him from hurting others and to keep other children safe until he can control himself. he has been picking on Ahren, too, so Seth has to sleep in his room alone and Ahren is in with Levi. It will stay like this until Seth proves he can handle interaction with other children.

It's all good

  I had my moment to wallow in pity and then by the next morning I was over it. I have been at work and it's been good. I overdid it yesterday, though, and by evening my wrist was swelling and the cast was getting really tight. I took some meds and propped it up and it helped. All in all, it's not so bad. Plus I got a purple cast. Purple power!!!

  Seth has settled down and is back to his super sweet self. He went to camp this week and the routine helps him so much. Routine is the glue that holds him together. He got a little award at the end of the week for being the best helper and having great behavior. He has been a little anxious and it comes out in a need to know I am still there for him. He will randomly come to me and just lean against me for a moment or he will call out to me and when I answer him he says "I love you", I answer back and he is reassured. He just needs that little bit of comfort to know I am still there for him. If that is all he needs then he is doing great.

  Chris, Levi and Ahren have all had a cold this last week. That triggered Ahren's asthma and he has struggled all week with that. We have a new combo medication for his nebulizer and at first it really helped but this week it didn't seem to do much. He was taking oral steroids, his allergy meds and breathing treatments but he still struggled a lot for several days. He was exhausted from just trying to breathe. I think it's time to look at changing up meds again. He is feeling better now and ate everything in sight yesterday. He had two breakfasts, two sandwiches at lunch and a big dinner. Seth is usually my biggest eater but yesterday Ahren beat him. (go figure, the littlest guy is the biggest eater!)

  For Christmas this year I focused on getting gifts for the boys that would get them outdoors and active. The kind of things that we could all use together or they could use themselves. We got a huge sandbox with bench seats. We got a badmitton set, a soccer goal and croquet. The biggest outdoor gift, though, is named Rio. He is an eleven year old gelding. A horse! He is a Morgan and not real big. He is super sweet, calm and loves attention. I will put up some pictures soon. He is a doll and hopefully will be an awesome way to teach the boys about responsibility. They all love him but need to learn how to care for him and be safe around him. Ahren and Seth have been taking riding lessons for a while now, and Levi is excited to learn to ride too. We have horse trails all throughout our subdivision so we can ride for miles plus our acres around our house to ride around.

  I start my next semester of school tomorrow. It is going to be a bit challenging since I can't type well with only one hand. Chris told me he can get me a voice activated typing program for my computer. I am going to hold off on that for now until I see what this semester will bring.

Depressed

  I was so excited to see the surgeon today. I would get my first glimpse of my hand post-repair, x-rays to see if everything was in place, and a hard cast that would protect my hand and allow me so much more freedom. Two out of three came true.

  Most of the swelling is gone. I have a lovely 2.5 inch incision down the back of my hand and a couple more poked holes where wires went in. My whole arm is still bruised and my fingers are black and blue but everything is feeling better every day.

  What did not happen..... I do not have any increased function in my hand. Instead, I have LESS function. I cannot lift, twist, pull, or place any strain on my hand. I am released to work with restrictions but I am not allowed to drive. that is huge.

  Essentially, I have figured out three things that I can do with my right hand.

1) I can point at something (so handy)

2) I can pick my nose ( not so handy)

3) I can flip someone the bird

  So tonight I lay in bed, feeling sorry for myself and scarfing down cherry vanilla ice cream. I have a lovely purple cast on my hand. By tomorrow things will begin to fall into perspective, but tonight I am allowed to be pitiful. Oh woe is me. I cannot even get my own pants on. This is going to get interesting.

Wild Animals of Southern Texas

Such lovely boys.

Springtime view in our backyard.

The view in autumn.

 

Jackie in her outdoor play area we built for her.

Right after I finished cleaning the laundry room. You will never see it this clean again.

 This is NOT normal.

 

That poor dog.

They wuv their Daddy.

Temporary Name: One-Armed Mama

I am discovering that there are many things that i can figure out how to do with only one hand.

Cook? Yep. Made bacon and eggs for breakfast. Cracked all the eggs left handed. No shells!

Shower? Yep. Even shaved (spottily) and conditioned my hair.

Personal hygeine? Can put toothpaste on my toothbrush by laying the tube hanging over the edge of the counter and squishing it with my elbow.  Bathroom needs? Got it covered, thank goodness!!

Getting dressed? The bra stumped me for a while but now I place it around my waist, get it fastened then spin it marooned and up and over. One boob is in my armpit and the other in the center of my chest, but they are harnessed!

Opening jars and bottles of medication.....pretty hard. I can get my prescription open with one hand, but I need help with twisting other things open. Chris loosened all the jelly lids for me and left them loose. Sweet man!

What I cannot do: tie my shoes, chop veggies, smack small booties (kidding) and do pushups.
Unfortunately I can do laundry, housekeeping, grocery shopping and other mundane chores. I really, really hoped I would be unable to do those things. Maybe if I break my other hand too????

The boys are all pitching in to help out. Well, most of them. Ahren tends to sit like a lump and demand people wait on him. He is trying, though. He attempted to, open his own can of soda but got it partially open, had it tip over and spin out of his hands, roll off the table and hit the floor spinning and shooting soda everywhere. Nice try but No. He is now allowed to get himself a glass of water. Period. LOL!

From the haze of my brain

  I have told you how well Seth has done this year but he still has some major triggers. Add the stress of the holidays with the disruption of the much- needed schedule and my surgery and you get a little boy who gets squirrelly. He ended up in the principals office at school and lost privelages at home. I was able to talk him through his emotions and he settled down at school.

  The night before Christmas eve we drove 2.5 hours to ride The Polar Express train. All 5 kids were wearing matching pajamas and looked so cute. The train ride was awesome. They read the book, played the songs from the movie and served hot cocoa and cookies. Ahren spilled his cocoa on himself and Kaytee and Ashley grabbed napkins and cleaned him up. (when another child gets attention the RAD kid gets triggered) After the train ride we picked up food and hit the road for home. Two and a half hours later we pulled into our driveway and unloaded. Seth would not get out of the van. I finally had to reach in and pull him out. He was covered in ketchup. His shirt was soaked in it, his lap was gooey and he even had it on his back. There was much more ketchup than one packets worth and the spots were wet, not partially dried like they would have been if he spilled when he ate hours before. I didn't say a word, just led him to the laundry room where I stripped him down and wiped him off. I did the same with Ahrens Jammie's since his were chocolatey.  I got them into clean pajamas and tucked them into bed and kissed them goodnight.  Then I drenched the Jammie's in stain remover and loaded up the washer. 

  This week Seth has alternated between moping and whining and bursts of wild out of control behavior. He has lost or broken half of his gifts prompting me to send Santa a letter asking him to not bring presents next year unless Seth can learn to care for his belongings. I showed him the letter and he just shrugged. He didn't care or pretended he didn't care. 

  Yesterday we had a couple of boys over for a play date. They played well together for most of the day and then mid- afternoon I heard the boys all saying things like 'gross, that is disgusting, don't ever say that again'. Uh-oh. I intervened and asked what was going on. They all agreed that Seth had said something really bad, but they were too embarrassed to tell me. Finally Levi whispered it to me and I briefly saw the world spin around me. Seth had said something of a very graphic sexual nature. I immediately removed him to my room and left him in timeout on my bed. I then talked to the other kids and apologized to them and assured them Seth was going to be severely punished. They all went back to playing and I left Seth on my bed. I told him that as soon as his Dad got back from the store he was going to get his punishment. I hadn't thought what it would be but I know the anticipation of it would be making a huge impact. Chris got home a little later and what do you know? Seth was sound asleep . Amazing...... Well not really. He uses that tactic to avoid unpleasant things. We let him 'sleep' for a couple of hours and then he received his punishment. Grounded, no playing with friends and the loss of his major Christmas gift to play with while he is grounded. 

  We still have a week of vacation to go so this story is not over. Hopefully it will end with a whimper and not a bang.....

And so it is

I had surgery yesterday to repair my hand. Tacked the ligament back down and wired the bones together. I cannot use it at all and am very sore. I get my first cast next week and will be in one for 3 months. So here are some recent photos of my crazy gang.