Saturday, April 27, 2013

It Finally Happened

When you adopt a child you do not always get a child that looks like you, but they feel the same in your heart, brain and very soul. Ahren was always our son, from the very first breath he breathed. I knew, Chris knew it, Ahren knew it and God knew it. The very first time I saw him, he was 8 months old and the first thing he did was hold his chubby little arms out to me. He wanted his mama. 

When you have children that don't look like you, even if they ARE your biological children, people ask questions. Stupid questions. Very, very stupid questions. Kaytee and Ashly are very different. Kaytee looks like a combo of me and her father. Ashley looks exactly (and acts exactly) like my mother. Both have the exact same genetic heritage and yet they are the sun and the moon. A woman once asked me if they had the same father. I told her No, but I wasn't sure about the mother. I walked away as she tried to figure that one out. Stupid question. 

This year at school, one little boy kept telling Ahren that I was not his Mommy. He has seen us at school, parties and the grocery store and he just couldn't wrap his little brain around it. He is 7 years old, so I don't mind it. He just doesn't understand. Ahren tried to explain, but he is also 7 and not the best articulator. This was really bothering him and it hurt his feelings. That did bother me.

Last week I saw this boy with his family (who happen to all look remarkably similar) at the store. I positioned myself and my boys in line behind them at the cash register. Then I called out to the boy and all the boys greeted each other. Once I had the attention, I loudly asked  him if he now believed that I was Ahren's Mommy. You see, Ahren is adopted from Guatemala and looks different but he is still my son and I am his Mommy. The boy said Yes, and the Mom's face turned bright red and she began stammering and sputtering. I smiled at her to let her know I wasn't upset, just helping him understand. She apologized and stammered on about her oldest child looking Indian (whatever that means) and then got out of there as fast as she could. 

Huuray for families with diversity and Hurray for spreading some i information, one 7 year old (and Mom) at a time!


KateK said...

Ooooh, I can top that! My girls - biological daughters, identical twins, 4 years old - look nothing like me (Irish) and exactly like their dad (Chinese-Canadian).

Very, very often when I'm out with the girls but without hubby, total strangers (adults and kids) approach us to say that 1) it's great we adopted, 2) they too were adopted from China (mostly kids) and/or 3) their kid was adopted from China (grownups). I (and my girlies) always tell them that my kids aren't adopted (but that it's great they adopted/they are adopted). You'd be surprised at the number of people who don't believe me :-)

Dawn said...

Good work mom! :)