You know you have boys when....

you find dirty underwear 7 different places in the house, none of which is a hamper. And they all have skid marks.

every time the swiffer duster is missing you find it being used as a sword. And it's now bent.

you notice that coffee table holds a pirate ship, a remote and a live grasshopper in a plastic box.

there are more rocks in the washing machine than in the garden.

every small sock in the wash is inside-out, and just as dirty on both sides. 

there is a dent in the wall that appears to be boy head-high and mysteriously head shaped.

there is pee on the floor, the waste basket and the wall next to the commode. 

the back yard has mysterious holes dug in random spots. 

you find banana stuck to the mirror, toothpaste squirted in the drawer and a toothbrush in the toilet in the kids bathroom.

no one gets into your make-up, wears your shoes or steals your cherry chapstick (unless they intend on using it on the woodwork). 

the amount of sand left in the bathtub actually  puts your septic tank in danger.

there are more balls, swords and blocks in your house than ten times the number of people.

you smell something awful and know immediately who is to blame, but not what it could be. 

running around naked and smacking each others booties is HYSTERICAL!

every other word is poop, or butt or pee pee. And it results in more hysterics.

a fart is applauded. A long, huge burp is saluted. Any bodily noise is celebrated.

sound effects accompany everything. EVERYTHING. Seriously.

I am totally serious. All of these things have recently been encountered in our house. You have been warned. Boys....good times. I'm just sayin'.