Monday, June 08, 2009

Looking forward...

I have a perfect family. We are extremely blessed. We have a beautiful home, the money to secure our future, enough to eat, clothe and fend for our own. The wherewithall to plan for everyones future. I SHOULD be complete.

Why doesn't it feel that way. Why is there something, deep in my soul, that is incomplete? Sweet Peri Brynn felt like completion. She was the final peg in our puzzle. Now what? 

I don't know.

I am lost.

I am searching. There is an answer out there somewhere. God has it for me. Please, sir, I would like it now. Please????

How do you go from having a daughter, a child, the spot in your soul, to Not. She isn't dead so I don't have the calmness that comes with knowing where my child is and who she is with (Jesus). She is just.....not mine. I am struggling. Really struggling.


This hurts. Too much. How.....how do I do this??????

9 comments:

ManyBlessings said...

I wish I had the answer for you. ((HUGS))
dawn

Krystal said...

I don't know how. I'm so sorry. Hugs and love to you.

Vanessa said...

I wish I had words that would comfort you but I don't. Just know that I was once is a VERY similar situation and although it literally took years to understand why God did this to me I now have made peace with His choice! I have not forgotten but I have learned to move on as hard as it was.
My thoughts and prayers are with you!

nikki said...

Wish I had some great words of wisdom for you.
Praying you will find some peace!

Faith, Family, Future said...

I also wish I knew the answer for all of us. There are no words to describe the emptiness, pain and longing that still exist in our hearts. But I understand your heart and your hurt!!

I love ya friend.
Tammy

Deb said...

Oh Wendy- I don't know the answer- but I am praying for you.

Love and hugs,
Deb

Mamita J said...

No answers here.

But I do know that God cares about your pain.

Praying you find peace in this.

Much love,
Julie

Julie said...

I don't post often, but I wanted you to know that I hope you can find some peace in this situation. ((HUGS))

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

I don't think there is an answer. You have such a tremendous loss. You do what you can, you keep looking and keep trying what is possible.