Is it Monday???

Weekday holidays always mess up my internal calendar. I can't remember what day of the week it is! This is really bad because I don't use a physical calendar to keep track of everyone's schedules. I just use my brain. (Scary, huh!) I also never use an alarm clock. Haven't for years. I just tell myself what time to wake up and I do. Go ahead and say it. I'm a freak.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my Ashley post. I feel so much better knowing that others have felt the same way she does. I struggle to understand her. I have since she was first born. I love her so much and want her to be happy but she always seems to be in pain emotionally. I wish I could kiss it and make it all better. My hubby thinks she uses the emotional pain she creates to help her with the guilt she feels for living with her father. Some of you mentioned the same thing. It makes sense and it fits, too. She is always so happy when she gets here, and then over time the other issues pop up. The closer it gets to going back, the worse things get. I tell her how much I love her and miss her because I don't want her to feel like I don't, but maybe that puts more pressure on her and more guilt. So I tell her how happy I am she does so well there and that it's OK but does that make her think I don't want her? The proverbial rock and a hard place, I tell you.

Levi still refuses to take a bath. I have tried many different things. We have resorted to washing him up in the kitchen sink each evening. Not perfect but at least we can get him somewhat clean. I have resorted to telling him he cannot have a bath. He is not allowed in the tub. I started that 2 days ago and his initial response was, "Hey, I am stinky!" I figure I will hold out for a few days then see if I can get him in the tub...... a little reverse psychology. If the weather ever dries up I figured I could buy a big metal washtub and put him out on the back porch to take a bath. Yeehah, we are some country bumpkins takin our Saturday night baths in the washtub. Hey, whatever works. As long as he gets clean, I am not going to sweat it!

One week from today I will be heading for Guatemala to see my little ones! I have received a lot of donations and am packing strategically to get it all down there. I may h ave to pay a little extra on the way down but it's worth it. I promise to get many, many pictures of the orphanages and kids receiving the donations. I am so excited I can hardly sleep most nights. The visits are the best thing ever and yet the hardest thing ever. Saying good-bye is awful, but that's not stopping me. I am on a mission to sqeeze my babies!!!