Thursday, August 05, 2010

I'm Afflicted

I have discovered that I suffer from an affliction, an ailment, a disorder, that affects my every day life to a huge extent. It is called Attention Deficit Mother-activity Disorder, or ADMD. Let me give you a synopse of how this disorder manifests itself.

Goal: Take a shower
Reality: Head towards bathroom but remember work pants are in laundry room. Turn around and head to laundry room. Once there remember that a load of wet towels is in the washer. Place towels in dryer, then add a new load to washer and start it up. Grab work pants and head towards shower. See misplaced shoe on floor, scoop it up and detour to boys room. Stow away shoe, see dirty underwear on floor. Scoop up underwear and carry to hamper. On the way to the hamper, see wad of paper crumpled on floor, grab it and stop off in kitchen to drop it in the trash. Notice someone opened a jar of spinach dip and then put it back on the pantry shelf. Drop dip in trash can too. Notice sticky spot on kitchen island, grab spray and a towel and wipe it off. Head towards shower. Oh rats, dogs are still inside. Stop and open the kennel and herd them outside. See water dish is low, get hose and fill it up. Head towards shower. Wait, where did I set down my pants? Search out pants, finally find them in pantry, head towards shower. See Roomba sitting in its spot on the way, unplug and set to vacuum living room while I am in the shower. See several small toys on the floor so pick them up before they get sucked into Roomba. Pride myself on cleaning the house while taking a shower. Smirk! Head towards shower. Oops, still carrying dirty underwear. Drop in hamper. Check to be sure boys are all still sleeping. Finally get in shower, get out, go to get dressed.....can't find pants.


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