Goteha Day and such

Two years ago we finally got to bring our son home. It took 3 years of pain, tears, frustration, despair, hope, faith and undying love. By the time we actually brought him home I was so numb that I couldn't even feel happy or relieved. All I felt was numb. I have told a lot of people that he adjusted so much better than I did. I can remember just staring at him as he slept and wondering who was this child? Was i really his mother? Why wasn't I over-the-moon at finally having him home? Well, by the time he was coming out of his perfect-child 6 month honeymoon phase, I was finally feeling like his mother. It's a good thing, too, because the next 9 months were, ahem, challenging.

Here is what he looked like 2 years ago. He was almost 3 years old, but was still in diapers, still took a bottle every 4 hours and barely walked or talked. He was essentially a big baby. I didn't mind. I missed his true baby-dom and so I got to enjoy a little bit of baby Ahren and it was sweeeeeet!!!!

We gradually weaned him off the bottle, then potty training took place. I had to teach him to chew his food. How to take bites and not stuff everything in his mouth. What most foods were, how to use silverware, how to feed himself even with his hands. He was incredibly weak and his muscles were loose and floppy. I still remember the orthopedist flipping his leg up over his head with no resistance and gasping in surprise. He was a total rag doll. We started in on a diet of high protein and lots of supplements. Started lots of physical therapy activities, lots of stimulation and lots and lots of attachment work. I sat on the floor with him hours every day, carried him when I could and talked non-stop to him in loving tones. My face was the first thing he saw each morning and the last thing each night.

Now, 2 years later, I don't remember time before Ahren. I sort of remember it, like a bad dream. The pain is like remembering labor and delivery of my other kids. I know it hurt so bad, but the pain is muted and distant. I almost wish I could really remember it, feel it again, because it is what makes Ahren so special. We had a 3 year high-risk pregnancy. Not even an elephant can claim that!

So why am I calling it Goteha Day? Well, because I went to the grocery store and ordered a cake for the special occasion. I told the woman behind the counter exactly what I wanted on the cake. I even repeated it three times. Since english was not her first language, she had a little trouble with the word gotcha, so i wrote it out for her. I wanted the cake to say 'Happy Gotcha Day'. What I got was a cake with the single word 'goteha!' on it. I laughed and laughed. How perfect for the adoption that never could go right. i think from now on we will celebrate goteha day!