Thursday, April 07, 2011

Top Five Annoyances from RAD

  Yesterday I mentioned that the therapist wanted me to list the top five behavioral issues we wanted to work on with the boys. Oh boy was that hard, because 1) there are way more than five, and 2) it changes by the day/hour. I was able to make my list and here it is:

1) Boundaries. They lack any sense of boundaries. My space is invaded continually all day, every day.  No privacy, no moment to think, no phone conversations, no personal space.  The pic above is what I see when I take a shower. Is it any wonder I prefer to go stinky some days?

2) Constant non-sense chatter. Talking just to be making noise, not holding a conversation or even asking a question, just jabbering. Unless you have actually dealt with this you would never understand how they can manage to talk for hours at a time about nothing. I think water boarding is kinder.

3) Lies. All kids lie, usually to stay out of trouble. These kiddos lie for no apparent reason and with no incentive to it. If I ask them anything they glaze over, eyes begin to roll, stammering starts and out comes a lie. It's incomprehensible to me. It takes way more energy to lie than to just answer the question truthfully. Definitely some sort of short circuit in their lil brains.

4) Voice modulation/baby talk. These go hand-n-hand at our house. One child had no idea how loud or quiet his voice was and would also scream out baby talk at random moments. I would have him 6 inches from my face and screaming his words at me (not mad, just loud talking) and then when he would be in the back seat of the van he would whisper trying to tell me something. We used a visual system to help him learn and modeled the right tones. He is 95% better now, but we still have to remind him at times.

5) Rages over absolutely nothing. It's zero to fifty in a split second. I say something perceived as negative and WHAMMO their head spins around and they levitate off the bed. Ahren rarely ever has a rage anymore. He is so so so much better. Seth's have decreased immensely in both number and severity.  I see lots and lots of progress here, but we still have a ways to go.

So while I was typing this one child chattered at me the entire time, climbed on and off my lap several times, kissed my arm, my back and my cheek and said Mommy at least 25 times. (No exaggeration) Sometimes I have to remind myself how far they have come and try and focus on the positives before I lose my mind!


crystal said...

Hey Wendy!--Awww thank you so much for the shout out!--I just saw your post--

I felt bad after I talked with you --I didn't mean to keep you--I know how busy things can get when you are trying to get out the door :)

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for talking --you are just the cutest!!!!!--and I value your opinion so very much--THANK YOU AGAIN! :)

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Please, please puh-LEASE tell us what the therapist says about your list. Especially the water board talking. Mine don't randomly chatter, it is constantly.... Mama...Mama... Mama blah blah blah right? That and the disproportionate rage response to nothing.
Keep us updated!

Reba said...

Love your list. I had to smile on number 1. I don't every have ANY privacy...but that is from my RAD kids AND my nonRAD kids. I would love to know about the talking too. I really struggle when to say "Enough". I know they need to talk to improve their language skills. But hearing every single detail of the day, especially when I was present for some of it, wears me out...

Diana said...

Just catching up on stuff after a crazy "vacation" with the kids.

Please email me. I have a quesiton for you!

Diana said...

BTW, forgot to mention that CONSTANT manipulation and control games are #1 on my list.

Mamita J said...

I laughed out loud when your therapist asked you to pick the top 5! It depends on what each minute brings. We mostly work on whatever is at the surface on that particular day, while slowly weaving in some of the big long-term strategies. It would be good for me to really write down my top five. I know at the top of my list is insane sibling rivalry.lizin

Dana said...

wow, I think all of my children ar RAD. Even the teenagers... LOL You are an awesome mommy =, and these kids have the best!!!

Love you!