Sunday, April 17, 2011

I knew there would be fallout

  Later I want to tell you all about my week of training to work with special needs kids, but right now I need to focus o n my own special child for a bit. I knew he would struggle with having me gone this week and there would be fallout. I tried my best to talk him through each day, give him extra love in the evenings and to never leave in the mornings without telling him goodbye and how much I love him. I knew it would not prevent the fallout but in my wee lil brain I hoped that somehow it might help him to begin working through the anxiety and start to have a tiny bit of understanding of his own self.

  I finished training at noon yesterday (Saturday). When I got home the husband had laundry churning away, had gotten all three boys to martial arts and had fed them lunch. (Lord I LOVE that man) We got organized and headed out to a specialty plant nursery located southwest of Houston (we live north of Houston, so quite the drive) As we were grabbing DS games and such to occupy small peoples I smelled a nasty-ness from the boys bathroom. Ah, yet again someone had done a large nasty poo and failed to flush. Around here that is totally normal so I thought nothing of it.

  We tooled around the nursery for an hour, loaded two wagons up with plants, then paid and headed home. Boys played outside while I made dinner, then played inside until bed. Bedtime was easy-peasy and I was thinking that the day had been really great.

  It is now Sunday morning and the fallout has appeared, but this time it was unique. This child is brilliant, a very very smart child. I am amazed at his brain power (and a little scared that I will not be able to stay ahead of him later on) He is running around in his tighty-whiteys and ask he passes me I notice a large white lump in the back of his pants. My first thought is that the poor child has a dryer sheet in his pants, so I ask him to come to me so I can get it. He freezes, he starts to back up and stammer. This is clue #1 that whatever is in his pants is there on purpose. I ask him to come to me, and he fights it but finally comes over. I look in his pants as he whines and cries. Guess what I found? A wad of poopy toilet paper stuck to his butt cheek.

  Now this is where the brilliance plays in. He knows that if he poops his pants he will have to wear a diaper, but he needed a way to punish me for being gone. The smarty pants figured out a way to get poop in his pants without technically pooping them. The messy toilet paper just accidentally fell into his underwear. Yesterday. Before we left for the nursery. Eeeew!

  I had him sit on a chair next to me and think about why he did this and he couldn't get up until he could remember (after cleaning him up first). Of course this was NOT going to happen. I kept telling him he wasn't in trouble and that I wanted to help him but without knowing why I was stuck. He hemmed and haw'd, he scratched his arm and talked about bug bites, he changed the subject fifty thousand times, his eyes rolled around until I wondered if they would fall out of his head. Finally, I asked him if he wanted me to guess why he did it. He did.

  Honey, I think you were upset at Mommy because she was gone this week. You felt you needed to show Mommy how bad you felt and this is how you did it. More than anything you just were scared and mad and that is OK.

  His little eyes filled with tears and I scooped him up and hugged him tight. I told him it was OK to be upset and mad, but he needed to talk to me and get lots of hugs instead of showing me with poop.

  Baby steps. I know this is not the end of the poop wars. I know he still has a long way to go. But today I am very proud of him!

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