Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Doh! (Sound of hand slapping forehead)

I don't know why I forget certain fundamentals of dealing with our rad-let kids but I do. Oh wait, yes I do know why I forget. It has something to do with running 90 miles and hour 24/7 trying to work, take care of kids, cook, clean, laundry, bill paying, etc etc etc. Add in the health issues of one small boy that weigh on me and Presto! I am brain dead. But still, you think after about the 100th time I realize this I would start to get it....guess not.

So I had an epiphany this morning. It is kind of a chicken versus egg thing. The more stressed I get the more annoyed I get with the attention seeking behaviors....and the more annoyed I get with the behaviors the more those behaviors ramp up. Vicious circle of annoyance. So what comes first, the behaviors or the annoyance? Yeah, chicken and egg all over again.

But, I do know how to ramp this back down. I fake it until I make it. I act non-annoyed. I smile, I hug, I kiss, I laugh at the antics and refuse to get upset. It is hard. VERY hard. How do you not get upset when someone bites you in the stomach and claims it was an accident? Or when they climb on top of the shelves and attempt to leap from that 5 foot high perch onto the bed? Or when they bang their head intentionally into the wall, and scream bloody murder claiming their brother did it to them? (And brothers are not in the same room) The hanging onto a lie even in the face of incontrovertable evidence. The whining, crying, hitting, screaming, kicking, peeing..... well, you get the picture.

So today I am smiling, hugging, kissing, laughing and dealing. Maybe I can get the kids back in a groove before we leave for the beach house Friday (that is if a hurricane doesn't ruin our plans)

And people? The next time you see me being an idiot and forgetting this basic principle, please feel free to dope slap me yourself. I will thank you!


Reba said...

I would slap you but then I would have to slap myself repeatedly. There are times I even REMEMBER why things are going the way they are, and I still let myself feel and act annoyed. (Maybe like this morning...we are on vacation and the "senseless" questions are making me VERY tired) It is such a long process...

Diana said...

I think summer is just generally tough. Our RADical kids don't do well without structure or change, which is what summer is all about -change and no structure. RAD can indeed make us VERY crazy, especially when we're dealing with it with multiple kids. If you're not annoyed with it at some point, either you you are a robot, your kids really don't have RAD, or you are living in complete denial. I wish the second wasn't true for any of us, but it is what it is, so I'm glad the others aren't true as well.

Hang in there, my friend! I didn't realize you'd been involved in an investigation. It so completely sucks! I knew it was stressful, but I honestly didn't realize just HOW stinking heavy that burden was until we received notice that we had been cleared after our last investigation and were finally able to set that one down for awhile.

bellagirl said...

Wendy, I'm way behind on blogging, just had a minute to check out your beautiful kids, and read your last post - poor you. OMG, it's so the summer, they are rad or not, just a handful this time of year and add to that day-light-savings time and they are up way later than most Mommies can deal. It's cake to be non-annoyed until 7pm, but um, 11, yes, 11 sometimes midnight in my house before all three are down and man, I just want someone to shoot me! ha. You're not alone. Hang in their kid.

Melissa (Ana's Mom).