I'm the Deputy

I have elected myself head Deputy around these parts and I am waging a very personal War on Grime. I have my guns loaded and the safety is off (by guns I mean the Roombi, the Dyson and the Steam Cleaner) By 8 am this morning (no one ever sleeps in around here so that isn't that early) the house was already starting to smell of cleaners, I was sweating and horribly disgusted by the filth I was finding. 

It's no use even trying to figure out where all the messes come from. Cheesy-poof finger prints on the woodwork, grape jelly smudges in a window sill, what looks like chocolate (oh please let it be chocolate....) on the sofa, some super-sticky spill behind the kitchen garbage can, blue hand soap dribbled down the wall in the bathroom, brown banana parts stuck under the table, a dehydrated chicken nugget fell out of the recliner, pink yogurt splattered across the tile, and on and on and on. Everywhere I look I find more and it just breaks me down. 

So today it's war and I'm taking no prisoners. If anyone, ANYONE dares to make a mess today there will be quick and severe consequences. You DO NOT want to see mama when her head explodes. Consider this a warning mess makers big and small.......