My home is full of laughter

Never a dull moment, never a boring day.

We love it.

From Levi:
chicken tastes good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Funny Bone is Broken!

I seriously need an infusion of funny. Head back, mouth open, big guffaw laughter funny. Americas Funniest Videos the guy gets scared by a prank and screams like a girl and runs in place funny. Anything other than 'look at that tantrum, for no reason, funny'. That one is getting old.

Things I never imagined I would hear myself saying:

"Son, get out of my makeup."

"Put my bra down."

"That red thing is the dog's weanie. Do not touch it!"

"Get your foot out of your brothers underwear. "

We are experiencing the 'end of the school year' antsies. No one wants to get out of bed in the mornings, unless it is a weekend, at which time they vault out of bed at dawn minus two and make tons of noise. No one wants to finish their homework. No one wants to get dressed. No one wants to do what they need to do to get out the door in the mornings. Ahem.....that might actually be me. I'm not admitting to anything.

Yesterday one small boy did his best to impersonate Eeyore. Woe is me. Everything is awful. Life is bad. etc. I asked him to find his shoes and he proceeded around the house with his face pointed at the ceiling whining and moaning and NOT finding his shoes. Well heck, I didn't wear them! I am NOT going to find them for him. He can go to school with baggies on his feet. In the meantime, in his OCD manner, he had been asking for 36 hours to be allowed to sharpen a pencil. Every 20 minutes, without fail, never giving up. (Exactly what the charm was in sharpening a pencil, I have NO idea) So I told him if he got his shoes on, he could sharpen his pencil. He then stomped harder around the room, found the shoes sitting within eyesight (I saw them the whole time) shoved them on his feet and grabbed his pencil. I let him sharpen it and he was the happiest camper you ever did see.

I have a joke for you. It's not exactly PC but not dirty either. My Mom told it to me, so it can't be too bad.

An elderly couple visits the doctor because the husband is not feeling well.
The doctor announces that he is going to need a urine specimen, a fecal specimen and a semen specimen.
The wife says, 'Fred, give him your underwear."

Elder humor. Gotta love it!

Refreshed....maybe

I didn't realize I took such a long break. Well, a break from blogging, not so much a break from everything else.  Life continues to kick my bohonkus quite well these days. I think I will do short bullet-type points to update.

My Dad is healing beautifully, gaining strength and stamina each day, and is as ornery as ever. He has an enormous scar from his breast bone to below his belly button. I am trying to convince him to get a tattoo of a zipper pull at the top of it. How cool would that be?

There was very little fall-out after my last trip, even though I was gone 10 days. A little whining, a little clingy-ness, but no major blowups. I had been holding my breath waiting for it, but at this point I think it is just not going to happen.

Ahren is going through a growth spurt. Every time that happens he regresses in both gross and fine motor skills. he is 6 years old and still struggles to dress himself, button his pants and get his own shoes on. I have been trying to find OT available for him in our area but no luck. The closest one is 45 minutes away and has no openings that fit our current schedule.  I think we will go for a summer round of OT when I can have more flexibility in our schedule. Right now he has speech therapy at school and neuro-visual therapy on Saturdays. Ahren also passed his first kidney stone this week. That was NO FUN for anyone! The nephrologist had told us he would be at risk of stones. Whatever the 'thing' is he has, it affects his kidneys and he has frequent crystals in his urine. He drinks a lot of water and that helps, but it was still a risk. Now we are scheduled for an ultrasound to see if he has more hiding in there. This poor kid gets the short end of every stick and yet he is soooo happy!

Seth is in neuro-visual therapy now, too. It has been shown to help with PTSD in soldiers so I figured it was worth a try. He loves it and enjoys the one-on-one attention. He is still going to ABA therapy once a week too. (ABA is applied behavioral analysis).  He has been doing amazingly well since Christmas time, but recently has had difficulty keeping his hands to himself at home and school. He will pretend to 'play' with someone or tickle them and then WAH, they start crying. He pinches or 'accidentally' smacks them, or they mysteriously run into his fist real hard or his foot just happens to jump out and connect with someone's leg. He is always innocent! Ahren is his usual target, since Ahren doesn't fight back. Ahren just cries. The funny hting is, Ahren is 3 inches taller and outweighs him by almost 20 pounds. If Ahren wanted to, he could clean Seth's clock but good. Seth does NOT hit Levi. Levi puts up with a lot, but it only took once for him to hit back and Seth has never tried it again. Those natural consequences, gotta love them!

Levi is just Levi. Sweet, caring, inciteful and hilarious. Chris bought him a Nook color and I loaded it up with non-fiction books. He goes to bed with it, walks around in the mornings with it in his hands and only gives it up when I drop him off at school. He also has an Ipod touch that he loves. He is just like his father, obsessed with electronics!

Kaytee is working 20+ hours a week, recently got a promotion and soon will be receiving a raise. She is carrying 5 classes in her schedule and getting all A's and B's. She loves life on the A&M campus and her job.

Ashley is the first student ever at her special magnet school to be accepted into a dual-certification program her senior year. She earned her CNA (certified nursing assistant) this year, and next year will earn her pharmacy tech certification and EMT certification. She has goals and a plan for her future.

Spring has sprung and I am making a mad effort at reclaiming our burned up, dried out landscaping. We lost a lot of plants in the record-breaking heat and drought last year. It is going to take a lot of hard work. And money. Ugh!!!

Tata folks. I am off to an appointment and work. I get to see my favorite little guy this afternoon. Big blue eyes, blonde hair and an impish grin. I can't wait to get him in a big hug!!!

On Being Away from Home....

  The last trip was only 5 days. This time it stretches to ten whole days. I am feeling odd, disconnected, unsettled. I also feel guilty. Guilty for leaving my sweet, adorable husband to deal with everything. Guilty for enjoying quiet time to read and knit. Guilty for being able to crawl into bed early and hog all the covers to myself. Just plain guilty. Comes with the territory of being a mom.....sigh.
  My Dad is coming home this morning. We decided to let him stay one more night while they got his oral pain meds under control. He is a bit uncomfortable, especially as he is getting up and down (using thos core muscles is HARD) but overall he is quite content. Now he is just anxious to get out of the hospital and get some uninterrupted sleep, eat what he wants and get comfy in his big chair. His incision runs from just below his breast bone to just above his pubic bone, I estimate about 15 inches long. It covers a bit more distance because, as the surgeon says, he has a fat belly. LOL!
  Ahren, my silly beautiful boy, turns out he got into trouble at school because he thought Seth would get all the attention for acting up while I was gone, so he decided to try it too. He told me so! The next day, he not only did super well at school, he got a special behavior award called Sparkle. They award this to a child who has had a perfect day and also showed some special kindness to another person. He was much happier to get the positive attention for Sparkle than the negative attention for the day before. That kid is way too bright for his own good. He even laughed about his little plan!
  Seth is hanging in there really well. What a champ! I still expect some fall out, but also a certain pride in himself for having done so well. There is going to be a big celebration with my boys when I get home! Funny thing, though, Levi has been very sad the last two nights, just missing me. I can't forget to show him extra attention just because I think he is doing OK. He still misses me and gets sad too.

Have to run! A big blonde Viking with a stomache full of staples is waiting for his ride!

Men, Men, Men, Men

I have so much to update on! Right now I am in Iowa, my Dad is recovering from surgery, and my Hubby and little men are hanging out in Texas pretending they are fine without me. (Well, yes, they are fine without me, but I am sooo needed ya know!)

My Father: On Monday we were at the hospital at 5:30 am, ready for the big show. My Mom, brother and I found a secluded table with electrical access and plugged in all our electronics and camped out for the duration. They took him back at 7:30 am and then updated us every hour on what part of the surgery they were on and how things were going. Everything went well but the aneurysm turned out to be much larger than they had thought. When they clamped it off and cut into it they sucked out all the blood, filtered it and returned it to him. That monster held 2.5-3 liters of blood, half the volume of a normal adult! With that much blood returned to him he ended up not needing a transfusion. In essence, that huge aneurysm was his very own blood bank reservoir. It took about an hour to sew in the graft. During that time the blood flowed freely through all of  his body except below the graft site. His legs were without blood flow for that hour, but they can go without blood flow for up to 6 hours before permanent damage starts. The closing took quite a while and then they immediately transferred him to ICU, still intubated and completely sedated. That was at about 3:30 pm and we got to go in and see him right away. We were prepared for how terrible he would look, tubes everywhere, severely puffy from all the fluids, and scary looking. Instead, he was pink and warm and not puffy! His feet, for the first time in years, were warm and pink instead of gray and cold.
  They were not going to start weaning him off the ventilator until Tuesday because of the extreme amount of fluids they had pushed into him, but he and his kidneys had other ideas. The nurses were happily grumbling about how often they had to change his urine collect bag. They ended up getting him off the vent that evening, then onto CPAP (pressurized air through his nose to keep his lungs inflated) and then onto a nasa l canula by morning. When I called at 6 am they had him sitting up in a chair and were already ordering a bed in a regular room for him!
  It is now Thursday morning and he is eating food, walking, driving the nurses crazy and scheduled to go home tomorrow. I can only believe that the prayers and well wishes of so many people have effected this miraculous recovery. He is 77 years old, a poorly controlled diabetic, has breathing problems, arthritis, overweight and out of shape and yet he came through this surgery like a 30 year old in the best of health! The surgeon called him his hero.
  The next week at home will bne hard. He will be in pain and he does not tolerate pain well, but is highly allergic to many narcotic pain meds. It's going to be hard. He knows it and he is prepared for it. I will be here until Monday to help and by then he should be pretty mobile and in good shape.
  One funny story: Yesterday the aide came in to give him a sponge bath. She got all set up and then laid a small towel across his lap before she removed his gown. He immediately blurted out that she was going to need a bigger towel. Didn't she know he was a Viking? The look on that woman's face was priceless!

The boys: I thought Seth would have the biggest problem with me leaving again. He was very clingy before I left and quite sad. Instead, he is acting like a Champ! He told me on the phone last night that he had a strange feeling. He realized he was worried I would not come home, but then he told himself I loved him and of course I was coming back and he was OK. AMAZING!!! He felt the emotions, was able to understand what he was feeling and then realize it was going to be Okay. It brought tears to my eyes and a huge swell of love for my brave and sweet boy!
  Ahren is struggling. He cries every night forme when he goes to bed. I talk to them a couple of times each evening, but at bedtime he needs to send me one more text to say goodnight and then he can lay down. He has had problems with his behavior at school. Yesterday he was one warning away from being sent to the Principal's office. He has NEVER been in trouble at school for more than talking.
  Levi is good but missing me. He is lucky because he is so completely secure and confident.

I will keep y'all posted!

Fallout

I only have a little bit to post so will make it short and sweet. The kids did amazingly while I was away. Everything went smoothly for Daddy. The first 4 days I was back, things also went well. There was some extra clingy-ness and insecurity but I thought we were dealing well. Then by Friday it began. Not nearly as intense as times in the past, but lots and lots of tears. Crying because he got water to drink, crying because a brother might take his toy, crying because I was eating my breakfast and didn't jump up and get him clothes that second. Long, sobbing, moaning, crying jags where the hurt just poured out of him. That's my little RADish, a deep well of hurt and sadness and a hole so large no amount of love can fill it back up. We talked, we hugged, we rocked, we talked more. It lasted 4 days and now he is back to a happy, sunny, still annoying child!

I am leaving again for 10 days at the end of the month. We will talk, talk, talk about it, try and set him up for success and deal with the fallout afterwards. Each time he has to work his way through an anxiety ridden situation like this, he gets a little stronger, a little calmer, and a little more trusting. I have high hopes for my boy!

Back from Iowa

  I got back yesterday from my trip to see my parents. Everything is going very well and we have some answers and some plans. To re-cap, my dad had kidney stones, and in the process of looking at them with ultrasound, they found a large abdominal aortic aneurysm. Then, while doing a CT scan to see the aneurysm, they found a mass in his bladder. So off I went to be 'helpful' (read: bossy) and see them through some of this.

  So last week after I got there he had further scans to get a really high resolution image of the aneurysm and then we met his cardiologist. We were hoping the repair would be a simple and straight forward catheterization procedure done on an out-patient basis. One look at his scan and each of us instantly knew this was no 'straight forward' fix. The aorta is supposed to descend directly down from the heart and then split into two branches, becoming the right and left femoral veins. His looked like someone had attempted, poorly, to make a balloon animal out of his. It kinked this way and that, folded over on itself and then ballooned grotesquely before once again folding back on itself. It isn't so much an artery as a giant knotted puzzle. So, no simple fix. This will require a big surgery that will last approximately 6 hours and require a week in the hospital. The good news, though, is that he is considered low risk. His heart is strong and healthy. He will see a pulmonologist this week to get his lungs stronger and breathing deeper so that there is less risk from being intubated for so long. The surgery is scheduled for later this month and I will be returning for that as well.

  We also followed up on the bladder tumor and on Friday we checked him into the hospital for a resection of the tumor. The surgery went very well and fast. The tumor was three times as large as they thought, but it was only connected to the bladder wall by a thin stalk. He went in, dug out the end of the stalk, removed the 2 1/2 inch growth and sent my Dad home with just a urine catheter and meds. He called is a 'low-level cancer' which means slow growing and because he thinks he got it all, that this procedure was 'curative'. If the margins of what he removed are not clean, they will just go in and take a little more and call it done.

  So, although kidney stones are awfully painful and I wouldn't wish them on anyone, in this case they led to us finding two very dangerous issues that were caught in sufficient time to be completely fixed. My new motto is: God Bless the Stones! (I think that would make a very nice cross-stitched pillow)

Train Wreck

Have you ever experienced one of those moments where your whole world suddenly takes a giant turn in a completely different direction? Mine came last week in a phone call regarding my father.

Last week he was experiencing a kidney stone. The doctor sent him for an ultrasound to take a look and what they found, besides the stones, was an abdominal aortic aneurism that is about 2.5 inches in size. They immediately scheduled a lot of tests for the following week to determine the best course of action to repair it.

Then over the weekend he passed a stone and had a lot of bleeding that lasted for days. Back to the urologist, in between other appointments and they took a look and found that the stone had lacerated a mass in his bladder. They sent him for a CT scan. Sure enough, he has a 'cancer-looking' mass in his bladder.

So now next week there are still more tests and decisions on all issues to be made. I am flying up there Tuesday to help out. I just hope they don't find anything else with all the poking and prodding.

My folks are in good spirits but understandably stressed and worn out from all the running around to different tests. I will be chauffer (how do you spell that?) cook, waiting-room sitting companion, and recipient of many bad jokes.

And speaking of bad jokes, Levi made this one up for his Grandpa.
What did one banana call the other banana?
Bananeurism!

Reality...it's what's for dinner

If you know me, then pretty much what you see is what you get. I try and put a positive spin on things, but I am also quite honest about the issues we face. I would never, ever want someone to read this blog and think "Wow, she has it all together. I hate her!" I am so far from all-together that I would have to cross an international date line just to see it!

Reality. Hmmmm. Our reality is that we have more than our fair share of doctors appointments, therapy appointments, medications and interventions. Would I change anything? Not for the world. As I see it, these kids are the ones God gave me and they are mine, warts and all. It's up to me to help them be the best they can be in life and spread a little good throughout their own lives.

Reality. I yell too much and yet no one ever seems to hear me. Getting their attention is impossible at times. Sometimes I get so mad I have to walk away and do something else. I wish I was always calm and regulated so that THEY would be more calm and regulated, but it is what it is. I keep trying.

Reality. When we perform 'therapeutic parenting' are we really helping or are we enabling the traumatized child to continue in his destructive patterns? Should we set the bar higher, expect more from him, push him to stay within the rules like everyone else is expected to? Lately, since he has started school, I have been increasing our expectations of him and he seems to be responding well. I had to get tough on the teachers at school. They were giving him extra chances, rewards when he really hadn't earned them, and giving him special treatment. I understand why they did it. He is adorable and sweet and life hasn't always been fair to him, but it made him worse! He is so smart and manipulative that he took it and ran with it. He also acted up more at home where the rules are black and white. Everything here has a guaranteed consequence, good or bad. When school was full of gray areas without clear consequences, he didn't feel safe and began acting out in all sorts of lovely ways. So for now, our expectations of him are set high and we show him how much we KNOW he can do it. No excuses. We'll see how this works in a few months.

Reality. I can't take very many pictures in my house without a pile of something showing up in the background. Clean clothes, toys, newspapers, etc. I am beginning to feel like we just might be hoarding-wannabe's. Check back ten years form now and there might be 9 tons of garbage in my house and I will have adopted 37 cats and have no running water. Yikes!

Reality. Financially this was a tough month. Ashley got braces, my car needed a ton of work and new tires, there was a tuition payment due for Kaytee all on top of the normal expenses. I think I might need to sell a body part or two. Hah!

Reality. All of our grass died in the severe drought and now that it is raining again, all we have are weeds. They look pretty good when mowed, but most of the time it looks terribly ghetto. We got a letter from the homeowners association about our lovely lawn. I'm afraid if we put down weed killer we will just have dirt left. Maybe we could just paint it green.....

Reality. I haven't showered in two days, shaved my legs in weeks and can't remember when I last had my hair cut. Spending time and money on myself always comes last. I am kinda scary right now. I did brush my teeth, though!

Reality. It kicks my tail daily.

Diet Fail

I was sure that removing the allergens from Ahren's diet would just be a matter of reading the labels and being careful. Um, yeah, apparently I was waaaaayyy off on that one. I find a product that does not contain wheat, but it has soy lecithin. No soy? It has modified food starch which comes from wheat. No starch? It contains soy oil. At this point I can feed him bananas and raw potatoes.

Breakfast has turned out to be the easiest meal. Bacon and eggs, rice cereal with bananas and milk, wheat free home made pancakes with real butter and syrup. Lunch is a struggle. Today he had chunks of cooked chicken, cheese, an orange, and corn chips. Dinners will be OK as long as I cook from scratch. I just have to make time to cook on the weekends and have things ready to heat up quickly.

The biggest stumbling block? Snacks and little things. Yogurt has 'natural flavoring' which can contain strawberries or wheat. All snack crackers we normally choose like wheat thins, goldfish and cheezits are off limits. Fruit chews are suspect. I did find some yummy pretzels that work, but i also found some other crackers made with spelt....and then I discovered spelt is an ancestor of wheat and has to be avoided. We have no idea if he is allergic to other nuts so at this point all nuts are out. No nut butters, no nut oils, no nut anything.

Next week is Valentines Day. I am scared to death of all the goodies and candy. I will send him with his own goodies and treat bag, but I have to trust the adults in his classroom to make sure he doesn't eat a cupcake or drink a juice box that has strawberries. At this point his worst reaction has been an extreme asthma attack, but that is bad enough. His reactions to the allergens can get worse initially as he starts treatment so we have to get this down before that point.

How do people do this? I need a freakin Excel spreadsheet to track what he can and cannot eat. I will need to put a list on my phone to reference at the store. Right now it takes me 30 minutes to find 3 items that will be OK. Thank goodness I have some awesome friends who are helping me! Thanks to Elle, Gayle and Meredith. You all are saving my son and my sanity. I owe you a million hugs and a lifetime of chocolate and wine!

Pictures and Updates

Two freshly bathed brothers snug in the chair. Most of the time they love each other. 

Mr. Handsome Young GQ, ready to head to school. 

 In January we celebrated Ahren's 6th birthday. He chose a Kung Fu Panda cake. We also ate a late breakfast at a restaurant, went bowling and opened presents. Unfortunately, 20 minutes into bowling Ahren was too tired to continue and just watched after that.

 Blowing out the candles!

There are many dead trees all around this area with lots of branches falling on the ground. I have been sending the boys into the edge of the forest with a wagon to gather wood.We have been having bonfires and eating hotdogs and marshmallows. Ever since we did this in Missouri at Uncle Randy and Aunt Carla's house, they have wanted to do this every weekend.

 Each boy has to have a big fire-poking stick, which inevitably ends up on fire itself. We have to watch the boys closely or they will suffer the same fate as their fire-poking sticks. (catch on fire)

 Of course the dogs have to be right there in the fun. They are just smelly 4-legged boys!

In January we also celebrated Seth's second Gotcha Day. He asked for a race car cake, so I looked on line and then went with this idea. Unfortunately I had less than 2 hours to bake, cool and decorate the cake before we celebrated. It is pretty messy, but he loved it. Plus it tasted really good!

We were getting ready to put away Christmas decorations and had the empty tubs out. I turned my back for a minute and discovered Scuba Steve in my tub!

That was nothing compared to what i found in my bed one morning after I took my shower. Who put the ugly kid in my bed???? On my pillow????

Seth was Star of the Week at school last week. It involved a little blue bear spending the weekend with us, our having to document the festivities, write about the weekend and make a poster about it. (I swear teachers don't have a clue what a weekend in our house is like. To accomplish this assignment almost killed us)

Playing legos with Little Blue.

 Watching TV with Little Blue, Ahren and his bear Little Brown.

Playing with Bogart and the bears. Poor Bogey is not sure he likes bears this much.

The boys invented some sort of game where they all dress up and run around our land with toy guns. We watched them the other day and laughed and laughed as we watched them run across the field in formation then suddenly hit the dirt and point their weapons at the sky, then jump up and run and hide. They played for hours. Ahren came in to take a rest but did not break character.

Visual learning and the young/special needs child. Small children and those who act younger due to special needs can really benefit from visual learning. I decided to try it out on my three boys to help avoid the frustrations we have been having getting ready in the mornings. Honestly this was driven by sheer desperation. I was ending up too fried by the time i dropped them at school and was really tired of repeating each command over and over again with no results.

I spent one morning inventing charts that detailed each step of our routine. I added an image of the time on a clock with the time printed out, then pictures of the individual chore to complete in that time window, a short description of the chore, and then velco dots where they move the image of themselves as they complete each item. Each morning I wake them up, then just call out the time and remind them to move their person. We have done this for one week and I can say that for Seth and Ahren it is working beautifully. they LOVE following the chart, moving their person and completing tasks. Levi isn't much interested in it, but he never really was the problem. he gets himself up and dressed each morning without any problem. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the charts continue to work miracles.

Birthday Boy

Seth is now officially 6 years old, and for 2 months he will be 'older' than Ahren. As usual, we managed to drag the festivities out over several days. The weekend before his birthday he got to have a friend over for the day. The friend brought him the coolest rocket launching toy gun. Then on his actual birthday (a school night) we had a special dinner and treats. Then, that weekend we went out to eat at his choice of restaurant (Red Lobster) then had cake and presents. 

We ordered his cake the week before but when I went to pick it up they had forgotten to make it! Luckily, the head baker jumped in, found what she needed and one hour later I went back and picked up this. It actually was better than usual since she had used cake that just came out of the oven and it was so fresh and moist. Seth loved it!

Time to open presents. These are just the ones from us. He had other presents and cards too. Spoiled kids? Naw, just really loved!

First present, a new helmet. Isn't that adorable...umm, I mean really scary???

His little brains are now safe and sound while he rides around like a crazed lunatic.

Next came the football he wanted.  One just his size so he can throw and catch.

Of course there were some Legos. Like we don't have enough....

And finally his big gift, a new Razor scooter. Within sixty seconds of taking this picture he was out shooting down the driveway at warp speed, giving his Mama a heart attack.

We all had a great time celebrating Seth's sixth birthday, and he didn't seem to have any fallout afterwards. I think our little man is growing up.

Ahren, Allergies and Asthma (nice alliteration!)

We had suspected for a long time that Ahren had asthma, or at least asthmatic tendencies. Every time he got a cold he would always get a bad wheezy cough. Then two weeks ago a cold, wet front moved in on a Monday and by that evening Ahren had a little cough. No fever, no runny/stuffy nose, just a cough. No big deal. Well, throughout the night his cough got worse and worse. I gave him a breathing treatment early that morning and it did absolutely nothing. I got the other boys ready for school early and dropped them off the second the doors opened and then debated on whether to run to our doctors office 3 minutes away or head to the ER 30 min away. I knew our doctors office opens early and I would make it just as they opened their doors, so as they unlocked we were coming in. it turned out to be a good call because by that point he was in moderate to severe pulmonary obstruction and heading downhill. We spent the next couple of hours fighting to get him breathing well. He received a high dose of steroids in a shot and in a breathing treatment, he got 2 breathing treatments with heavy duty meds to relax his airways (meds that were new to me) and when he finally was breathing much better, we headed to the pharmacy to get 4 new prescriptions. Two days later he was worse again and back to the doctor for another shot of steroids. We also scheduled allergy testing for this past Monday. 

The allergy testing went very well. They used a lidocaine cream to numb his back so he didn't really feel a thing. We began with the easy portion of the test, the scratch test. Each little scratchy applicator is dipped into liquid allergens and then scratched into the surface of the skin. After 20 minutes the spots are measured for a swollen red reaction bump to see if they are positive. Shoot, poor Ahren didn't hardly make it to the twenty minutes and she was scrubbing the allergens off and reaching for Benadryl. His whole back looked like he had been stung by a swarm of bees.  In fact, he was so hugely positive for almost everything that he doesn't even have to do the second half of the test where they inject the allergen under the skin with a higher dose. He will begin allergy treatment as soon as they can formulate his serum and we will have to have epi-pens on hand at all times in case of a life threatening reaction. 

So what is he allergic to? Almost every single environmental allergen except for dogs and pigweed. He is also allergic to wheat, soy, peanuts, strawberries and celery. (Celery? Is that even possible?) So starting immediately we have adjusted his diet, alerted his school, and begun reading the labels on all food. (OK, why do they print those ingredient lists in teeny, tiny print when they are so important?) It seems so far that even gluten-free products can contain soy, or a product will say wheat-free but also state it is NOT a gluten-free product. I thought Gluten came from wheat? And what is soy lecithin? They call it a stabilizer but is it really soy and therefore off limits? I have been opting for cooking my own recipes to avoid some of the hidden dangers, plus sticking to fresh whole foods that don't have hidden ingredients. 

And so, I set out to make Ahren's favorite food. Pancakes. All-Recipes is my friend and I downloaded a highly rated recipe and headed to the store. I was amazed that they had almost every single ingredient in my local grocery. So on Sunday morning, I cooked our big family breakfast and we all enjoyed Ahren allergen-free pancakes. 

Then I decided to make Ahren allergen-free brownies. They turned out wonderfully! I couldn't tell the difference. It is going to take me some time to really get the hang of this diet, but I can do it. I almost messed up on Saturday while we were out running around. I needed to feed the kids and was heading for McDonalds when it struck me. The only thing he could eat was the french fries. So after a bit of racking my brian, I swung into Panda Express and got him a chicken/rice bowl. I just hope there wasn't any hidden dangers in it, but I think I can find their ingredients on the web and know for sure in the future.

Roadtrip 2011!

This past fall. we decided to get brave (or possibly insane...?) and planned a road trip of epic preportions for our motley crew. We desperately wanted to see family but the thought of trying to keep 3 little rambunctious boys happy and regulated through 32+ hours of driving plus a week staying with family was a wee bit scary. (Yeah, major understatement there. We were petrified!) But we decided to try anyway. I spent weeks getting prepared. We rented a bigger van, each boy had a basket of entertainment that sat on the floor next to their seat, we had a huge selection of snacks, we had DVD players, hand held video games, books, stickers, colors, books on CD and headphones for each child. I packed minimal clothes, counting on layering clothes if it got really cold, and the fact we would have access to a washer and dryer.  (And I packed a pile of knitting to keep me sane and calm)

And so we set forth.....

Over the river and through the woods

To Grandmothers House we went.

(and Grandpa too!)

The boys on Thanksgiving Day, all dressed up and on their best behavior.

Chris and his father, two peas from the same pod. Some nuts don't fall far from the tree!

Seth was attached to Grandpa from the word GO. Grandpa didn't seem to mind that he suddenly developed a second shadow.

Levi watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, trying not to get too anxious to eat while smelling all the super yummy food!

Heading out to take hay bales to the cattle. Chris's parents live on a real working ranch deep in the heart of America. They are the salt of the earth, just like Chris. You couldn't ask to meet better people. 

Bye bye, off to feed hungry cattle!

Cousin Dustin challenges the motley crew to a Wii game (we brought our own Wii just to have something to entertain the crew when they grew restless. Brilliant idea! It entertained everyone!

The action in the danger zone. Food was coming out of everywhere. Home made breads and pastries, turkey, cookies, cakes, roasts, pizza and pasta, and a host of other gourmet goodies flowed out of this kitchen all week long. We didn't complain! It was the best cooking I have had in a long, long time!!!

We did a lot of relaxing. I have to say that as nervous as I was about this trip, I ended up being the most relaxed I have been in years. I felt like I had travelled a million miles away from my troubles and entered the home of perfect calm. The boys were well behaved and happy, we didn't stress about anything, and it was the most rest I can remember getting since I had kids. Seriously, it was better than any spa!

More food and family. Oh, and the laughing! Chris's family is hysterical! They had me laughing so hard my ribs are still sore!!!!!!

The end result was that the trip was the treasure of a lifetime. Good memories, good family, great food and many, many laughs. The bonfire at Uncle Randy's and Aunt Carla's. The visit to the dam nature center, even eating at the big buffet in town with the chocolate fountain. The boys still talk about it. The drive was even fine! We drove straight back (almost 17 hours) because the kids were sick and we needed to get back in time to get them to the doctor. No one whined, cried or got mad, not even once! We didn't even have to stop very often. It was a true blue miracle!!!!!

Hmmm, let's see...

What has been happening around here lately....

Legos have multiplied and now cover nearly all horizontal surfaces. Are they related to Tribbles (from Star trek the original)

Somehow one large dog has decided that the bestest place to sleep in the entire house is on top of me. I wake up pinned to the bed and stiff and sore. Great, the dog loves me!

The ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) therapy Seth has been receiving has opened a floodgate of emotions. Now that he understands emotions and has a name for them, we are seeing many emotions flow out of him each day. This is a wonderful thing, but also very trying. Having a child who cries and whines all day long is exhausting! One minute he is clinging to my leg like a toddler and the next his anger flares and he is kicking the wall, all with little or no provocation. Still, I am proud of him for working through these emotions. He can tell me what he is feeling now and actually talk about it. Amazing!

Work is amazingly busy and rewarding. Each breakthrough gives me goosebumps and nearly reduces me to tears. I am registered to get my certification this year, a tough and demanding process. Wish me luck! I have written essay questions, a written exam and oral exam to complete by October. I am super-psyched to get this certification!

Kaytee begins her first semester at Texas A&M in a few days. She is registered for 5 classes, has her books and has studied the campus bus schedule. She did it all on her own. I am so proud and yet so sad. My baby doesn't need my help. Aw heck, I am just so proud!

Ashley has already earned her Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) certificate this year as a junior in high school. She is now working on an EMT certification and a Pharmacy Tech certification. She should have both by the time she graduates at the end of next year. She attends a special school in Dallas for kids interested in medical careers. By the time she is 18 years old she will be more certified than many adults in the work force. Can you say 'Overachiever'?

Ahren is going to see a diagnostic/genetics specialist soon. The last specialist agreed 'something' is really wrong, but never could define it. His last idea was to wait and see if he has new symptoms or detiorates further. Yeah, I can't sit by and wait for that! I'll keep you posted.

Levi has had a sudden burst in independence. He gets himself up in the morning, gets dressed, and brushes his teeth. He can also take a shower (complete with appropriate soapage) and get his pj's on all by himself. The only problem is that the child has absolutely no fashion sense. I hate to correct him and make him him feel bad so I am forced to let him go to school dressed in bright blue track pants and a green/brown camo shirt. At least the clothes are clean.....

Oh, one last member of the family I failed to mention. My sweet teddy-bear of a husband is still the love of my life, my rock, my soft spot to fall and the funniest man I know. I know you are jealous!

Doctors can be WRONG!

  Oh my sweet Ashley. She has unfortunately inherited a thyroid disorder from my side of the family that causes weight gain, lethargy, enlarged thyroid/goiter, dry skin, hair loss, problems concentrating and depression. This disorder is well-documented in my family. If left untreated, or poorly treated the end result is a life-threatening enlargement of the thyroid gland that restricts the airway and esophagus, and cancer of the thyroid.

  The normal blood tests that look at thyroid function look perfectly normal in those suffering this disorder, because the assays only look at the presence of the hormone. Unfortunately, in our family, the hormone is there but non-functional. Normal blood work, no active hormone equals bad news.

  Ashley was diagnosed at the age of 8 years old with this disorder and began treatment. The treatment helped immensely and her symptoms resolved. Unfortunately (I am using that word a lot!) her doctors after she moved to Dallas failed to increase the dose as she grew and had a very poor understanding of the disease.

  Fast forward to the present. Her general doctor has a vague understanding of the issues and agreed that continued medication was called for, but since this was not his area of expertise, he wanted her to see a pediatric endocrinologist. It took 9 months to get her into one, and then the fun began. (Heavy note of sarcasm)

  First of all, after the med student spent 20 minutes getting a detailed history, the doctor failed to look at any of it. She waltzed into the room, her lab coat flapping open to reveal very low hung tight jeans and a tight tee shirt that rode up revealing her abdomen and tattoos. (WTF?) She then proceeded to spend 4 minutes listening to the abbreviated history and reason Ash was there, then proclaimed that all the other doctors were wrong. Ashley did NOT have a thyroid problem, it was probably something else and she needed to get off meds right away. So Ashley weaned off of the support and began to feel like crap, gain weight, and struggle with overwhelming tiredness.

  I made many phone calls trying to explain our family history to the nurses or doctor. All I got was the run-around. So since i couldn't be at her next appointment, I wrote out a very detailed summary of the family history, what the genetic basis was for the disorder, how to test accurately for it, and how to treat it effectively. I was as detailed and informative as I could be.

  Yesterday, they had the follow-up appointment. The doctor argued with everything I had written and said it 'couldn't possibly' be the same thing her aunt and grandmother suffered from because that was just too rare. OMG WTF ^^&($*%*#$&&^^&)(&*^DFC!!!! I have no words for Doctor Hussy. if you have a strong family history of a condition, and the child exhibits every single symptom of the disorder and has previously been diagnosed with the disorder then treated for it and it improved, how in the heck can you even begin to think it is NOT that?

  I am preparing to write a letter of complaint to both her superiors and the AMA. This is criminal. If left untreated, Ashley will suffer her entire life and possibly face cancer, life threatening conditions and many surgeries. All because Doctor Hussy is stuck in  her own mind set.

I want to slap that woman silly. Or worse. Much worse. Needless to say, we are seeking out a new endocrinologist.

2012 Hooray!

  A new year filled with hopes and dreams, resolutions and promises, and lots and lots of cooped up kiddos! We are lucky here this time of year. It has been mild and sunny allowing us to get the boys out of the house and physically active every day. I have been taking them on long walks. Our route covers two miles and goes up and down gentle hills. Boys and dogs are all tired by the time we arrive back home. Yesterday we walked it once in the morning and again in the late afternoon. Poor Ahren was so tired on the second walk that I literally dragged him the last mile. It is so much harder for him but he didn't complain. He was a trooper! Afterwards his poor little legs were so tired I sat him in a warm bath to soothe them. It is very important to keep him as active as possible to maintain as much muscle as we can.
  We take the two boxers on the walks and they are extremely well behaved, even the puppy! The boys, on the other hand, seem oblivious to my commands that they get out of the middle of the street, stop picking up trash, and stay out of the muddy ditches. Boys....maybe I should have put the leashes on them instead of the dogs! (Oooh that is sooo tempting.....hahahah)

  The week following Christmas went so much smoother than the previous week. I think the anticipation brought out the worst in my munchkins. There were many instances of pinching, hitting, kicking, name calling and even a chopstick stabbing (more of a poke). By the time the big day arrived I had lost every shred of my patience and was ready to push the tree over and run away. Christmas day was very pleasant and calm....to say I was shocked is an understatement. They shared and laughed and played happily together all day, and the next day and the next and so on. I am actually sad that they go back to school tomorrow and I have to return to work. This has been a lovely week.

  Therapy has been really helping Seth. He is starting to process some of the things that have hurt him in the past and is talking more and more about his feelings. It's always amazing when he has a breakthrough and also incredibly sad. He has made such amazing progress. In fact, when he has a breakthrough now there is very little fallout afterwards. His 'behaviors' are now limited to poor impulse control including the pinching, hitting, etc (minor offenses but without sufficient provocation) and lying. His teacher is working with us on both of these issues and she holds him to a pretty tough standard. That is great because he is a super-smarty who quickly figures out how to work the system.  If she acted like she felt in the least bit sorry for him, he would run with it. Instead, he is treated fairly and just like all the other kids. There is no gray area, the consequences are black and white. He responds best to this approach.

  One of these days I will actually catch up on my posts and pictures, but for now I am just moving forward. Forward feels good. Really good.

 Now it's off to scour the boys bathroom, a job that probably should require a hazmat suit. I swear, how can three little boys make such a mess. I have scrubbed the toilet so much the coating has worn off the seat. I am so glad I re-painted the walls with gloss paint that is super-washable because I am constantly washing all sorts of nastiness off of them. Dirty fingerprints, mud, toad-slime, you name it. The best idea would have been to build a floor drain into that bathroom and just epoxy-coat every surface, add a large industrial sprayer nozzle to the sink and be able to hose it down like an animal cage. In fact, I could hose the boys and the bathroom off at the same time! A brilliant idea if I do say so myself!!!!

The Holidays are tough!

I have tons of pictures from both our wonderful visit to family for Thanksgiving and then the month-long preparation and celebration of Christmas. In my head I have several funny posts and several thoughtful posts. Instead of actually writing them, I just keep coming up with excuses. You see, the holidays are tough.

Oh I know, the holidays are tough on everyone, especially Moms. We try and make the magic for everyone, stretch a dollar until it squeals like a scalded monkey, decorate and wrap and cook and sing until we want to scream, and fall into bed each night feeling inadequate and like a failure. (Or wait, is that just me???) I am determined to create memories and traditions that my kids will remember for a lifetime. I carry on some traditions that I loved as a child and have created a few new ones as well.

Right now my house is a disaster. Toys all over the floors, legos covering the kitchen table, tinsel stuck to everything and enough colored sugar and sprinkles scattered on the floors to qualify us as a sugar-hazard. Did the kids have a great Christmas? Oh yeah!!!! Was it everything I dreamed for them? Heck no. I am so stressed by the mess around me that I fail to see how happy my little ones are. I see chaos and cleaning, they see a table covered with the creations we built together as a family then played with for days. Do they see the dirty floor? No, they see the remnants of decorating cookies then eating them until their mouths were brightly colored and their tummies full of sweets. Do they notice the pile of laundry calling for my attention? No, they only remember wearing their jammies all day while we played and laughed and ate our fill of yummie holiday cooking.

So why am I so stressed? Sigh. Because I am a failure at relaxing and enjoying the here and now. I know I will miss these times in the future, so how do I learn to enjoy them now? Someone please come kick me in the arse!!!!!!!

Halloween

In October we had the annual Say No To Drugs Week where each day the kids got to wear something special. In years past there has been slippers day, hat day and sunglasses day. The favorite day this year was crazy hair day. Having only boys it challenged my mad hair skillz. Here is what we came up with.

The Alfalfa with gold glitter

The Golden Storm

Scary Mess with Green Hi-lights

Halloween is a huge trigger for trauma kiddos. I'm not sure exactly why, but invariably it brings out the demons and the behaviors we would love to forget. This year Ahren was totally un-fazed. He has only had very minor issues in the past so it did not surprise me. Seth began having terrible nightmares about 2 weeks before the holiday. I asked his therapist to work with him on the issue of Halloween so she did. My rule has always been that the kids had to wear non-violent costumes. She actually suggested that I let Seth dress up in scary costumes so that it took the mystique out of it. I was hesitant to try it, but figured it was worth a try.

Pumpkin carving. Always a favorite and yucky activity!

It was 80 degrees and no shirts meant no laundry mess. Just a quick wash up and we were done!

Will this child ever get teeth???

So, following the advice of the therapist, I let the boys choose their costumes. Ahren is Darth Vader (I wouldn't let him wear the helmet to trick-or-treat) Seth is a Zombie/Mummy and Levi is Jason (He didn't know who that was but saw the mask and thought it was cool.) Much to my surprise, Seth's nightmares stopped, he began to talk about the cool costumes and how they were make believe and fun, and he thoroughly enjoyed the evening. You know, parenting these kids is counter-intuitive at times. What you think would be the worst thing ever for them turns out to be the perfect thing to help them work through something. This obviously will not work for all kids, but in this case the therapist was dead on.

Birthday Boy

Seth is now officially 6 years old, and for 2 months he will be 'older' than Ahren. As usual, we managed to drag the festivities out over several days. The weekend before his birthday he got to have a friend over for the day. The friend brought him the coolest rocket launching toy gun. Then on his actual birthday (a school night) we had a special dinner and treats. Then, that weekend we went out to eat at his choice of restaurant (Red Lobster) then had cake and presents. 

We ordered his cake the week before but when I went to pick it up they had forgotten to make it! Luckily, the head baker jumped in, found what she needed and one hour later I went back and picked up this. It actually was better than usual since she had used cake that just came out of the oven and it was so fresh and moist. Seth loved it!

Time to open presents. These are just the ones from us. He had other presents and cards too. Spoiled kids? Naw, just really loved!

First present, a new helmet. Isn't that adorable...umm, I mean really scary???

His little brains are now safe and sound while he rides around like a crazed lunatic.

Next came the football he wanted.  One just his size so he can throw and catch.

Of course there were some Legos. Like we don't have enough....

And finally his big gift, a new Razor scooter. Within sixty seconds of taking this picture he was out shooting down the driveway at warp speed, giving his Mama a heart attack.

We all had a great time celebrating Seth's sixth birthday, and he didn't seem to have any fallout afterwards. I think our little man is growing up.