Sunday, February 12, 2012

Reality...it's what's for dinner

If you know me, then pretty much what you see is what you get. I try and put a positive spin on things, but I am also quite honest about the issues we face. I would never, ever want someone to read this blog and think "Wow, she has it all together. I hate her!" I am so far from all-together that I would have to cross an international date line just to see it!

Reality. Hmmmm. Our reality is that we have more than our fair share of doctors appointments, therapy appointments, medications and interventions. Would I change anything? Not for the world. As I see it, these kids are the ones God gave me and they are mine, warts and all. It's up to me to help them be the best they can be in life and spread a little good throughout their own lives.

Reality. I yell too much and yet no one ever seems to hear me. Getting their attention is impossible at times. Sometimes I get so mad I have to walk away and do something else. I wish I was always calm and regulated so that THEY would be more calm and regulated, but it is what it is. I keep trying.

Reality. When we perform 'therapeutic parenting' are we really helping or are we enabling the traumatized child to continue in his destructive patterns? Should we set the bar higher, expect more from him, push him to stay within the rules like everyone else is expected to? Lately, since he has started school, I have been increasing our expectations of him and he seems to be responding well. I had to get tough on the teachers at school. They were giving him extra chances, rewards when he really hadn't earned them, and giving him special treatment. I understand why they did it. He is adorable and sweet and life hasn't always been fair to him, but it made him worse! He is so smart and manipulative that he took it and ran with it. He also acted up more at home where the rules are black and white. Everything here has a guaranteed consequence, good or bad. When school was full of gray areas without clear consequences, he didn't feel safe and began acting out in all sorts of lovely ways. So for now, our expectations of him are set high and we show him how much we KNOW he can do it. No excuses. We'll see how this works in a few months.

Reality. I can't take very many pictures in my house without a pile of something showing up in the background. Clean clothes, toys, newspapers, etc. I am beginning to feel like we just might be hoarding-wannabe's. Check back ten years form now and there might be 9 tons of garbage in my house and I will have adopted 37 cats and have no running water. Yikes!

Reality. Financially this was a tough month. Ashley got braces, my car needed a ton of work and new tires, there was a tuition payment due for Kaytee all on top of the normal expenses. I think I might need to sell a body part or two. Hah!

Reality. All of our grass died in the severe drought and now that it is raining again, all we have are weeds. They look pretty good when mowed, but most of the time it looks terribly ghetto. We got a letter from the homeowners association about our lovely lawn. I'm afraid if we put down weed killer we will just have dirt left. Maybe we could just paint it green.....

Reality. I haven't showered in two days, shaved my legs in weeks and can't remember when I last had my hair cut. Spending time and money on myself always comes last. I am kinda scary right now. I did brush my teeth, though!

Reality. It kicks my tail daily.

1 comment:

Reba said...

I am always thankful for these kinds of posts. I live in that whole reality life too. I get it. Now go take a shower. Life/reality looks so much cleaner when you do. :)