I didn't see THAT coming!

When dealing with RAD kids, there are good days and bad days. We have been having mostly good days, and the bad days have not been as bad. yeah! (Oh now, don't be getting all cocky there Missy, cuz the Reality Fairy is about to whack you upside the head!)

Yesterday, from the moment Ahren got out of bed, he was in full Rada-licious mode. He screamed, he hated me, I didn't love him, he wasn't getting dressed, he would not pee in the potty, he kicked me, spit on me, and tried to rip my hair out. I just kept lovingly putting him on his bed and letting him know that when he could be calm he was free to join the rest of us. (OK, I ACTED lovingly but inside my head I am allowed the freedom to be ticked!)

By the time 8:45 rolled around I was MORE than ready to take him to school. I got all the kiddos loaded up, strapped in and the van in gear and spent the firsat part of the drive wondering what in the world had triggered Ahren.

Then Ahren told me his throat felt funny, and as I turned my head to see him, his mouth formed a perfect 'O' and vomit began to spew. It was like slow motion. A chunky pink geyser that splashed all over him, the seat and the floor. The other kids began to gag so I quickly opened all the window and cranked the AC down low. We got the others dropped off at school and I got Ahren home, cleaned up and into some PJ's. He felt perfectly fine the rest of the day.

The lesson of the day? Triggers do not have to be emotional to set a child off. Sometimes just a belly ache is enough to send a kid into a RAD meltdown.

P.S. He told me later he was sorry for hurting me, without me even saying a word. Then he spent the rest of the night worried I didn't love him anymore. Poor little peanut. What a day!

Parenting and Giggles

Today I braved the grocery store with three boys ages 6, 4 and 4. Why yes, yes, I have lost my mind! Actually we had a plan and a mighty good one I might add! Ahren and Little S were to go into the big basket, one in the seat and one in the basket part, and then Levi would get a small cart and we would put the groceries into that. Only it started raining before we got out of the house so when we got to the store all the carts were wet. I wiped one down enough to set small boys in and we set off in search of a small cart. No luck. Well, it WAS a good plan! So Ahren had to walk with Levi while I put the groceries in the basket. The boys were mostly good. The only issues were of the extreme silly kind. There was no running up and down the aisles, no begging for un-approved items, not even for candy. They stuck with me, giggling and talking in loud voices. That was about the worst of it.

Then, when I was backing out of my spot, boys all buckled in, a pick up truck came whipping around the corner. I was already 2/3 of the way out but he still tried to squeeze past me. At the last second he stopped and I finished backing up and began to pull forward. That's when he did it. He pulled up on my rear end and revved his mighty hemi engine. Oh yes he did! (And this was no kid, this was a grown man!) So I did what any sane woman would do and I proceeded down the rest of the aisle at approximately 0.05 miles an hour. If I could have gone backwards I would have! Dude, I am a mother of 5, there is nothing you can do to intimidate me!!! Back off!!!! I laughed all the way home.

Today has been one of those rainy, dark days that cause the kids to go insane stuck inside. So I made up a new game. I called it a Scavenger Hunt and sent them all over the house to collect things. Things like a piece of trash, laundry, waste baskets, toys out of place, dirty cups, etc. Then ran all over giggling like fools and trying to bring me the most of whatever the item was. In the meantime, the house was getting picked up! Next we are going to do relay races. Races dusting, sweeping, putting laundry away, anything I can think of!!!! They are so excited!!! Hee!!!

Random musings from a clearly insane woman

Why do little boys stink so bad? My girls would get dirty and sweaty but they didn't smell. My boys? Yikes! After a long day playing hard and being outside I can smell them across the room. I have to wash their hair twice just to get it smelling really fresh. I bought four bottles of body wash/shampoo on sale the other day and it will only last a few weeks. Should I feed them charcoal or spray them with febreeze or what???? (Kidding.....unless you think it would work)

When attempting to take a 3 minute shower, it is really a good idea to take the cap off of the razor before trying to shave ones armpits. It is really more affective that way. I'm just saying.

A high school senior can spend the equivalent of a year of college tuition just getting ready to graduate so that they can get to college. Prom and graduation are right around the corner and the money hemorrhaging is in full swing. At this point she is going to get a gift card to the local coffee house for her gift cuz that's all I can afford! (I can see Kaytee's face when she reads that! Hilarious!!!)

Leaving a bottle of prescription eye drops on the kitchen counter is apparently an invitation for small booger boys to take it and empty it, leaving one without any medicine for a goopy eye.

Latest thing that is working great with Little S. The other day when he was upset and told me he didn't want to live here any more I told him I was sorry but he was stuck. Stuck with me forever. Ever since then he has asked me fifty times a day if he is stuck, and then smiles and hug-hug-hugs me when I tell him yes. I make it out like it's out of my control and we just have to learn to like it, but we are doing great so that's not a problem! Ahren tells him he is stuck, too and he just loves it. Seems like my best ideas are really accidental!

Still getting more tests on Ahren. More scheduled for today and next week. I thought it took a long time to get him adopted and home to us, but diagnosing him might just take as long! Right now he is having good days and slightly bad days. The bad days he is just extra tired, his blood sugar is low and he is spilling ketones which means his body is digesting muscle for fuel. It's not at serious levels so we are stable.

Ahren cannot drink from a cup without a lid. He spills it almost every time. He has been falling down a lot again too. Just standing there and he keels over. He has fallen out of his chair three times this week. I can't tell if he is just weak from whatever is going on or if he is just clumsy. He has a funny walk, too. His flat feet slap down on the ground, turn in slightly and he kind of shuffles. More muscle signs? Or is he just a goof? Well, I know he is a goof, but is there more?

This weekend sucks

The kids have been sick so I have had very little sleep. I am up from 1 to 4 daily I have been trying to accomplish all the outdoor work too. Exhausting. But the sleepless nights are killing me. I am spent. Out of it. Gone. Wah!!!!

Adoption Failure

A story about adoption failure began to surface this week all over the world. Like most adoption stories, it started with the simplest of wishes...to parent a child. A single woman, a nurse, adopted a 7 year old boy from Russia. She and her mother travelled in September to bring him home to the US. The mother and grandmother were prepared to love this boy. What they didn't know is that adopting an older child, especially one from the orphanage system, can (not always!) mean the child has suffered many traumas. Neglect, abandonment, abuse, hunger, and many more unimaginable things.

The boy, who they renamed Justin, began exhibiting behavioral issues in January (according to the articles I have seen). Hitting, spitting, screaming, threats. Violence sparked by trying to correct him or tell him no. The family felt unable to handle this child, so they made arrangements to return him to Russia. They put him on a plane along with a letter, and had a man pick him up at the airport and drop him off at the offices that oversee adoptions.

I am still trying to process this. There is no way we are getting all the information in these news stories. Did they seek help? Was there even time in that Jan-April time frame to get help? Did they contact their agency, home study social worker or even the local DFCS offices? Were they turned away? Did the judge in Russia tell the family that if they didn't want him they had to return him to Russia?

The Russian government is using this story to it's fullest to crucify the US. They want to shut down all US adoptions, blame US families for all the problems, etc etc. No part of the blame is theirs....and yet. Who runs these orphanages that care so poorly for the children that they end up horribly traumatized? Who sets the rules as to what info the adoptive families can receive? Who fails to educate the adoptive families on what issues the children might have? Who should be there to provide support when the families are struggling to parent these traumatized children????

There is so much blame, plenty to go around. The truth is that everyone failed this child. Everyone.

As the new parent to a child that came from an adoption disruption, I know what help his old family sought. I know how hard they worked and all the resources they sought out. In the end, although it was a horrifically difficult thing to do, they came to the decision that finding a different home for him was the best thing. The best for him. (Thank goodness they cared enough to do this instead of putting him on a plane) They carefully researched and sought help to find a new family. We are so blessed they chose us. Little S is a true joy. Yes he has issues. But they are issues we are well aware of and prepared to handle. Issues we have experience with. We know how to take advantage of resources, where to turn for assistance, who to call to talk us off the ledge at times.

When we filed to adopt internationally, we had to sign government paperwork that swore that we would love, care for and treat the adopted child just as we would any biological child. That the child would be afforded every right and privilege of a US citizen. That we, his adoptive family, would assume all responsibility for this child FOREVER. We took that pledge very seriously. All parenting should be taken very seriously, but when you choose to parent a child that has already suffered at least one loss (birth family), then your responsibility is even greater.

So in the end, I do blame the adoptive family for the ending of the story (only the ending). I blame them for not caring enough to find him a suitable home. For not trying for more than 2 months to identify and seek help for him. I blame them for not educating themselves before they brought him home on what issues he might have. Did they really think if they put him on that plane that the problems would all just go away for them? What about him? Did they ever consider what this act would do to him, his future, his fragile emotional state? No, I don't think they did. I think this was a terribly selfish act on their part. And we all know that true parenting cannot be selfish. Ever.

Random updates and such

This week we had three doctors appointments, one for Little S who has an ear infection, and two for Ahren. One of his was to get the latest test results and the other was to meet with a pediatric diagnostician. The time we spent with her (90 minutes!) was wonderful. She looked through all the test results we have so far, was able to rule out a bunch of scary stuff and give us a lot of re-assurance. She is focusing her thoughts on two of the abnormal test results. The low blood sugar and the protein in the urine. We have more tests scheduled and then meet with her again. I feel like we are finally getting some traction on this. Once we get an answer to that, she is going to look at the low muscle tone and low creatinine in his blood (a marker for muscle mass). Since he also has ketones in his urine, which means his muscles are breaking down, she wants to look at that too. She thinks it is unrelated to the other issue, and can take a back-burner for now. But it's still there in her mind.

I took Little S and Ahren for Early Childhood Intervention testing at the school district offices Tuesday morning. My goal was to get them into the pre-K Head Start classes. (Free, five days a week school) They both qualified!!! Yahoo! Not because they have any huge issues or anything, but Little S qualifies because he was once in CPS custody and Ahren because he is considered ESL (english as a second language). OK, ESL is a bit of a stretch since he doesn't speak any spanish anymore, but they loved his story and wanted to keep the boys together. Oh, and they both failed their hearing tests. Little S because we found out he had a double ear infection and Ahren because he just sat there like a lump ignoring the tones in his ears! When they retested him he passed just fine, after a bunch of coaching and encouragement.

Today after I picked Levi up from school he began talking to God in the car. He told God he wanted him to put another baby just like him in my tummy. But God, be sure it's a boy-Levi and not a girl-Levi! We often talk about God in the car. That and who he is going to marry. Seriously, that has been a HUGE topic of conversation lately. Who to marry. Yikes!

Tomorrow we have Kaytee's senior portraits scheduled. First some in the studio and then some on location. I can't wait to see how they turn out. I still can't believe she is graduating. I want to squeeze her and keep her little!!!!! I guess it's a little late for that. Wah!

I need about a week to get all the outdoor work completed to get our landscaping in shape. We got a lot more freezing weather this year than is normal and lost a lot of plants. Even covering them wasn't enough. I need about 3 dump truck loads of mulch (thank goodness for the tractor to move it all around) and have enough weed and feed for 25,000 square feet of lawn to put down. Then there is the on-going battle against fire ants. For those of you who don't know the agony of fire ants, they are very aggressive ants that bite and hurt like crazy. They swarm your feet (or whatever body part happens to be in contact with the ground) and then all begin biting at once, biting over and over again. The bites turn into painful pustules by the next day. There is no love around these here parts for the ants o'fire. Poor Ahren got them in his pants recently and oh boy was that awful! They even got in his underpants. That's an owie even a Mommy can't kiss!

Tidbits

We had a lovely three-day weekend. It hit 90 degrees here on Saturday and those of us that are pigmentally challenged got a bit of a sunburn! Ahren, on the other hand, is turning cocoa brown. Yum! I love his skin. So beautiful! Little S is going to be tan too, but I think his hair will lighten up in the sun. Levi....well, we have lots of sunscreen!

The boys and I spent most of the day Saturday getting the garden planted. This year we added blueberry bushes, blackberry vines, two kinds of orange trees, pecan trees, and a lemon tree. This weekend we planted our tomatoes, cucumbers, peas, beans and watermelon. I kept it simple this year and just planted what I know we would eat. Kaytee and I will eat most of the veggies, but i plan on fixing lots of fresh veggies for the boys (including the big boy, Chris) in lots of interesting ways to see if I can hook them. I mean, who doesn't love fresh sugar snap peas?

I am heading in to pick up more of Ahren's test results this morning and have another appt for him Thursday. This morning when he got up I took him to the potty and he peed what looked like milk. Thick and white. That's the level of protein he is still spilling in his urine. He can't go on like that, it's not healthy. I wish we could get some answers once and for all!

Yesterday Little S was driving me absolutely bonkers with the constant non-sense questions. Is this my cup? Is my tongue bleeding? Is it today? After one more wake up will it be today? I remembered something I read, probably on Christine's site, about setting a limit on questions and when they have used them up, not answering any more. So I wrote twenty marks on the board and told him he had twenty questions. When the marks were all gone I could not answer any more questions for the day, no matter how important they were. Well, he thought that was a hoot and proceeded to ask silly non-sense questions just as fast as he could think of them. In fact, when he couldn't think of one he just asked the same questions again! I kept reminding him that when they were gone that was it. Well it took him about 3 minutes (seriously) to ask all twenty. Then every time after that he asked a question, I acted like the automated Fortune Teller in the carnival and answered. "I'm sorry. I cannot answer that. Please try again tomorrow". I have to admit I had a lot of fun acting like that goofy machine and you know what? The questions stopped! And they stopped with smiles all around.

Shout Out to the Allen Family

Teri, and the whole Allen Family sent a huge package of glasses for out Glasses for Guats campaign. Dr. M is heading down in May and Dr. W is going later in the summer. They see an average of 200 patients each trip, handing out glasses, looking for disease and making arrangements for follow up with other volunteer medical teams.

Thanks Allen Family!!!!!!!

Oh Internets, Help Me?

I have an issue with Little S that has stumped me. Everything I have tried is not working. It's pretty sensitive and somewhat embarrassing, but I need help!

Little S is fixated on behinds. Nakey butts. Bohonkuses. He talks about them. (I say 'No bathroom talk!') He drops his pants and shows his bottom to others (Oh no you don't!). He taunts and teases, showing his behind. (He is told NO very firmly) He touches and pats and punches and slaps my behind constantly. I tell him how much I do not like it. I tell him over and over again. It makes me uncomfortable. But the worst? He wants to rub his behind on me. It seems he does this mostly when he is trying to get my attention. I hate it! He knows I hate it. He still does it. Maybe just BECAUSE he knows it bothers me.

How do I deal with this? Help!

OMG PBJ!!!

A very dear friend, Dawn, who happens to be the BEST, got her hands on a bunch of pictures from the orphanage where we think PBJ was sent. She asked if i wanted to see them, to see if I might spot her.

Oh my aching heart YES! Just to know a little bit about how she is doing, where she is, if she is even alive! Yes it hurts, and it always will, but oh yes, yes yes.

And sure enough, in one photo, partially hidden by a house mother, sitting on a window ledge, there she is. Hair in pigtails, sneakers dangling down, eyes looking at the camera. She looks so good.

For those of you who do not know the story of our sweet baby girl, I will create some links later to her story. Right now I need to cry and look at her sweet face for a while.

Oh Dawn, thank you so much!!!!!!!!!

Motherhood necessitates invention

After two weeks of chaos, suffering and anguish, I was faced today with parenting the three boys all by myself. I was OK with it. I hoped we could have a lovely, home-bound day of bonding, peace and quiet. (OK, delusional comes to mind, but a gal can hope can't she?) So after running a bunch of errands this morning amid much whining, complaining, picking on each other, and general poor behavior, I decided to try something different. We planned a campout. The original plan was to put up the big tent in the yard, but since i could not FIND the tent nor was sure I could actually assemble the tent, we went with plan B. Tent in the living room.

We palyed a game where they had to go find all the things we needed, set to a song. OK, a very BAD song, but I san it anyway! They had a blast.
Then we created a fire pit on the patio. I sent the boys into the woods to find firewood. They loved that! I added charcoal so the fire would last.
Next i sent them into the backyard with the instructions to get as muddy as possible. I had to tell them three times before they believed me! When they were done we washed off in buckets full of warm soapy water in the yard then came in and changed into jammies (their idea!) It's Team Monkey, so named by Levi.
We lit the fire and then cooked hotdogs over the open fire. They had lots of help by Mommy and no hotdogs ended up harmed in the making of dinner. Eating dinner was another story! These were some hungry boys!!!
We finished off dinner with toasted marshmallows. Yum! What a great meal...
Now they are having a pillow fight and giggling like crazy. It's only a matter of time before someone ends up crying. Oh well, it was a good day. The boys are planning on sleeping in the tent for the night and I will let them. They want me to join them, but my old creaky body is not so good sleeping on the floor. I will lay with them for a while, then sneak off to bed with a glass of wine and watch something I have on our DVR. Something NOT kid-friendly. Life is good!!!

Another Update

Things are a wee bit better. We spent the day at Texas Childrens Hospital, which happens to be the #1 pediatric kidney location in the United States. Ahren got a lot of tests, had his info reviewed by several levels of doctors and made an appointment to be seen by the renal team. The good news is his kidneys are getting better, not worse. He is stable. Yeah!!! His blood glucose was still low even though he had eaten breakfast this morning and had drank some juice not 30 minutes before the blood draw. It was still low. Points to something metabolic going on and his kidneys are compensating. Oh, we also need to see an endocrinologist for the underlying metabolic issue. If there is one. Who knows?

So now we are home, Ahren is oblivious to how worried his poor parents are, and we are all set to keep a close eye on him, his urine and his blood sugar levels. Huge sigh of relief!!!

Update on Ahren

Our doc is working really hard to get this figured out, but he admits this is beyond him. So yesterday he called and consulted with a pediatric neurologist, a pediatric diagnostician and one other specialist. We did ultrasounds of Ahren's entire abdomen, re-ran the urine analysis and checked his blood glucose (which was normal this time, yeah!) We have ruled out strep or other infection, diabetes, tumors, and congenital malformations. On the list are still Renal Tubule Acidosis, Adrenal disorders, Glomerular nephritis, and others.

I talked to the renal department at Texas Childrens and am faxing them all the test results this morning, and then our doc is calling them. We are about a hair away from hospitalization due to the level of metabolic acidosis but right now his kidneys are compensating for it. That's why they are spilling everything. But why is he so acidic? That is the question.

Thanks for all the prayers and ideas. I really appreciate it, more than you can know. I feel like I am always posting some drama around here like some sort of attention junky. Really, I love boredom, I love a good rut, I would love to be searching for something to blog about because there is nothing going on!!!! Again, thank you my friends!

Worried Sick

I thought once we survived Spring break that everything would fall back into place and everything would be hunky-dory again. Instead, something worse is threatening to destroy us. Ahren is sick. With what? I wish I knew. Here is the background.

A few weeks ago I noticed that Ahren was drinking a lot. And with drinking a lot comes peeing a lot. At first i didn't think anything of it. Then we began struggling to contain his night-time pee. He sleeps hard, ten to twelve hours a night. He has never been consistently dry at night, so he has always slept in a pullup. Well, a pullup was nothing compared to the tide of pee. We stopped all liquids at dinner time, had him pee before bed, etc. We had to resort to a size 6 diaper with a super-maxi night-time feminine pad inside it, and a pullup over it. Only then did the sheets stay dry. That is a LOT of pee. As in abnormal amounts of pee!

So I called the doctor and they decided to do some blood work. (Remember the whole sausage stealing incident? That was the day they did his bloodwork) I got a call on Wednesday that the doctor needed to talk to me. I hadn't heard anything and I had assumed all was normal and not thought a bit about it. Now I was worried. Before the doc called me I went to their office and got a copy of the results. Not good. His kidneys are all out of whack, his glucose way too low, and a protein that should have been made by his muscles was really low. His urine also showed protein and ketones, signs his kidneys were damaged and his muscles starving.

Chris and I took him back yesterday. His urine was worse. He is spilling a large amount of protein (30 mg/dl, normal is zero, above 10 is serious) and ketones. It looked milky and smelled awful. We have 4 days of testing scheduled. He had ultrasounds of all the organs in his abdomen this morning. We will be doing lots more blood work and a 24-hour urine, rushing all the results back. Then we will be loading up all the results and heading to Texas Childrens for a consult with the nephrology department, the neurology department and possibly the endocrinology department.

Today he is lethargic. Spent 2 hours lying on the couch with a blanket before his ultrasound appointment. Had to carry him through the parking lot and then he just laid in the hospital bed while they did the extensive ultrasound tests. Now it's lunchtime and he is lying on a blanket on the floor. This is NOT like him. He is an active 4 year old boy! I have a call into the doctor.

Anyone out there have knowledge about kidneys and kidney failure in kids?????

Spring Break

Spring break just about killed me. Seriously. I feel like a wet puddle on the ground. It was through sheer will that I kept everyone held together for the week. Minor meltdowns aside, they all did pretty well, but it took an enormous amount of attention and energy. Big kids and little kids all had their moments. Heck, us adults had OUR moments! There were trips to the rodeo, concerts, bowling, friends who spent the night, shopping, dining and general frivolity. Maybe in there somewhere we made a few memories of the lovely kind.

Now I need a break from the break.....

Triggers and such

A couple of weeks ago I accidentally triggered Ahren. For those of you who don't know about triggers, they are something that causes a child to become disregulated. Often times they don't even know why or can't express why they begin to fall apart. It is something deep down in their subconscious that causes them to become extremely anxious, angry or out of control. They don't understand why they feel so awful and it makes it that much harder to deal with. They are scared but don't know why. It's a terrible feeling for them.

One of our favorite things to talk about in the car is how each child joined our family. Levi grew in my tummy, and they cut me open to pull him out, screaming and messy. Ahren came from Guatemala and Kaytee and Mommy went and brought him home on an airplane. Little S became ours when I heard about him and we went and picked him up at a store called Buckee's. We like to stress how special each way was, how each child is special and their story is unique to them.

We were talking about this and I mentioned that some day I wanted to take Ahren back to Guatemala so he could see where he came from. Poor baby misunderstood and thought I was taking him back....for good. leaving him there. He started to cry and tell me he wanted to stay in 'the yellow house' (our home). I immediately told him we would just be visiting because it is a great place to visit, we would stay in the hotel, swim in the pool (things he remembers) and then come home to our yellow house. He calmed down and I thought I had fixed it. Yeah, not so much.

That night, after he had fallen asleep, he started screaming. I went in to hold him. He wasn't really awake but he was talking and crying and screaming. He talked about the yellow house, and was crying for Mommy even though I was holding him. It took about 40 minutes to calm him down and get him back to sleep. Then every hour or so all night he would begin to thrash about, scream and fight, all while still asleep. I stayed with him all night, reassuring him, holding him and loving him. The next day I talked to him again and he seemed much happier. I made sure to reassure him all day that he was ours, we loved him and he was safe.

Poor baby. Something so innocent as the desire to share his wonderful birth country with him scared him to pieces. I really need to be more careful, but there are triggers and pitfalls everywhere. Maybe it's a good thing to work through them.

This week is also hard. Spring break. No familiar routine. Even fun things cause the anxieties to rise. It is a balancing act. I want to do fun things with them, but if we try and do too much no one ends up having a good time. Sigh. All I want is to enjoy our time as a family and that is so hard. Boring routine = good. Fun and surprises = bad. Sigh......

RAD-Lite

Little S came to us with a RAD diagnosis. Ahren, although not officially diagnosed, also seems to have many RAD symptoms, so I just assume he does and treat him accordingly. What I want to tell people, though, is that they seem to have a much lessened version of RAD than many parents face. The other families I know who have RAD kids truly have to deal with much, much more than we do. I want people to know that RAD is not always the 'worst-case-scenario' that many parents face. We are lucky. We seem to be experiencing RAD-Lite. I bow to those who are dealing with the truly rough stuff and I do not begin to compare myself to them. Instead I want to let you in on how our situation is going and what life is like around here.

First of all, if you put two 4-year old Rad-ish children in close proximity together, what you get is one big, long argument over nothing. I like fish, no you don't, yes I do, no you don't. That's my mountain, no it's not, yes it is, no it's not. You're a girl, no I'm not, yes you are, no I'm not. And on, and on, and on, and on.....24/7. They never stop. Punishment doesn't work. Diversion doesn't work. Incentives do not work. It is driven, like breathing. They cannot stop. It is enough to drive a person insane (insert screeching nails on a chalkboard).

There seems to be a competition between the two RAD-lings as to who gets the food. If one wants something the other immediately begins to beg for it or will stuff mass quantities of said food into their mouth, holding the rest in their hands. This is all calculated to prevent the other one from having any. This is at it's worst if I place the serving dish of food on the table family style. Picture a small child with 8 bites of sausage in their mouth and clutching 2-3 more sausages in their greasy hands. Ahren is way worse at this. Just as a note, he has never gone hungry. He had a wonderful foster family and he was fat, fat, fat. Very well fed. This is not a behavior from having suffered from hunger in the past. It is simply a controlling behavior. He wants it simply so someone else does not get it.

Ahren has rages, Little S whines. I haven't figured out which is worse yet. The rages used to be 3-4 times a day, and involved, hitting, kicking, spitting, biting, scratching, and lots of screaming. Now we might see 1-2 per week and they last minutes instead of hours. But the whining...oh lord the whining. Non-stop, every word out of his mouth, whining. It has gotten a lot better since we instituted the 'I cannot understand you, I don't speak whining'. If he whines, we do not answer him. Period. I will look at him and say 'What'? That is all. He was very frustrated at first but he is catching on now. He can actually re-phrase what he was saying in a normal voice most of the time. Whew! There isn't enough wine in the world to handle the whine.

Ahren pretends he cannot do anything for himself. He can't feed himself, he can't climb up on the potty, he can't pull his pants on, he can't reach his cup on the counter. Both here and at school we have instituted a 'you have to try first before anyone helps you' rule. It's working great. That and a little peer pressure! Little S on the other hand, will be totally capable of doing things and then suddenly 'forget' how to do them. One day he forgot how to drink from a cup. Amazing! I praised him for being able to drink yesterday and drinking all his milk and then told him I could SEE him growing bigger and Voila! Suddenly he knew how to drink from a cup again.

Little S is also extremely demanding of my attention any time I am busy with something else. He can be playing quite happily and I will start cooking and suddenly he needs me right now! His eye hurts, his feet hurt, he wants me to hold him, he needs a drink, he needs medicine, he needs, needs needs. I calmly talk to him, tell him what I am doing and explain that as soon as I accomplish 'X' I will tend to him. I keep talking so he knows he has my attention, but it isn't always enough. He is testing me. Making sure I am there for him. He only does this to me. Not his Dad and not Nanny. That's OK, he just needs me more. I can deal with that. (Someday he will be out on his own and not need me at all and I will look back on these days and be sad!)

There is a lot more. Silly, crazy, stupid little stuff. In and of itself, each thing is nothing, but the big picture tells it all. Still, we are so lucky. I guess what I am saying to all of you is don't be afraid of RAD. Don't be afraid to adopt an older child. Don't be afraid to love a child with some issues. The demands are great but the rewards are much greater. Each hug, each special moment, each hard-won improvement is so worth it. These are not throw-aways. These are children, little angels made by God. They just come with a few more flaws.

Man I love these boys!!!!!!

New design for the ol blog

Do you like the new look? I wish I could say I did it myself but heck no. The amazing, wonderful Nikki hooked a sister up. You can click on her button there on the right, Blogs for a Cause. She is inexpensive and very talented, and a pretty wonderful person too, if I do say so myself!

Cheerleading Banquet

Last night was the Cheerleading Banquet. This year is flying by so fast! Kaytee won Best Attitude. That's my girl!!!

Here is Kaytee with her date.

Kaytee with her best buddy Lauren. These girls are amazing. Beautiful, funny and so sweet. And those legs.....ugh. They should be illegal.
Kaytee and me. She is already quite a bit taller than me but the 4 inch heels just added insult to injury.
The seniors each got to make a speech. It was very emotional as they would thank their parents, coaches and friends for the journey they all followed together. Kaytee never cries, but she started sobbing when she got to her thanks for me. Of course that was all it took and I was sobbing too. In fact, there were not a lot of dry eyes in the house. Several other parents came up to her afterwards and told her how great her speech was.

An open letter to Mickey-D's fast food

Dear Mickey-D's,

This morning my son had to have a bunch of fasting blood work done. This is a hard thing for a barely-4 year old to handle and all he wanted as a reward for being so brave was breakfast at your establishment. We got there after the morning rush and the place was calm and quiet. We placed our order, hotcakes and sausage and then walked away with our tray. When we got to the table i realized that we didn't have silverware, butter, syrup or any sausage. Inside the container were two lonely hotcakes, nothing else.

I headed back up to the counter and explained to the girl what we were missing. She dug around for a while, dropped the syrup on the floor then picked it up and handed it to me with silverware and then just stood there. i reminded her we still needed sausage. That's when another girl stepped up and said we didn't pay for any sausage. I replied that we ordered sausage but never mind, could we get some now. She replied, "Well, you will have to pay for it." I respond in the affirmative, of course I will pay for it. She then reminds me again that I didn't pay for it.

I return to grab money from my purse and head back to the counter, feeling like I had just been accused of trying to steal a bleepin sausage. As I walk up to the counter the manager reaches out with a container and says, "Here M'am, no charge." Apparently he heard our exchange. I snapped though, and threw the two bucks on the counter and said, 'No one has ever accused me of stealing before and it's not about to happen now. Take the money". And I took the sausage and went and fed my son and we left.

So dearly beloved (by the small people) Mickey-D's, you can take your sausage and stuff it up Ronald's big red nose. We ordered breakfast, but we didn't get silverware, butter, syrup, sausage or respect. And in fact they over-charged for the two pancakes. In this economy you can bet that I carefully select how and where to spend my hard-earned money. That will be the last time we visit that particular restaurant.

Sincerely,

The suspected head of the local sausage-stealin ring