Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I didn't see THAT coming!

When dealing with RAD kids, there are good days and bad days. We have been having mostly good days, and the bad days have not been as bad. yeah! (Oh now, don't be getting all cocky there Missy, cuz the Reality Fairy is about to whack you upside the head!)

Yesterday, from the moment Ahren got out of bed, he was in full Rada-licious mode. He screamed, he hated me, I didn't love him, he wasn't getting dressed, he would not pee in the potty, he kicked me, spit on me, and tried to rip my hair out. I just kept lovingly putting him on his bed and letting him know that when he could be calm he was free to join the rest of us. (OK, I ACTED lovingly but inside my head I am allowed the freedom to be ticked!)

By the time 8:45 rolled around I was MORE than ready to take him to school. I got all the kiddos loaded up, strapped in and the van in gear and spent the firsat part of the drive wondering what in the world had triggered Ahren.

Then Ahren told me his throat felt funny, and as I turned my head to see him, his mouth formed a perfect 'O' and vomit began to spew. It was like slow motion. A chunky pink geyser that splashed all over him, the seat and the floor. The other kids began to gag so I quickly opened all the window and cranked the AC down low. We got the others dropped off at school and I got Ahren home, cleaned up and into some PJ's. He felt perfectly fine the rest of the day.

The lesson of the day? Triggers do not have to be emotional to set a child off. Sometimes just a belly ache is enough to send a kid into a RAD meltdown.

P.S. He told me later he was sorry for hurting me, without me even saying a word. Then he spent the rest of the night worried I didn't love him anymore. Poor little peanut. What a day!

6 comments:

Diana said...

Oh, that was fun...NOT!

RAD is such a crazy thing! Both my kids get extremely triggered when they are sick, epsecially if there's a fever or some other thing that really needs attending to. On the other hand, many kids (mine included in some repsects) can puke, pee, and poop at will. They often do it BECAUSE they are triggered. It's their way of letting us know they're mad about something and are stressed way beyond what they can process or cope with. They also do it because THEY can control it. In fact, it's the only thing they are 100% in control of (spit applies to this as well...no matter what we do, we can't MAKE them not spit at us.) It's also very gross and they know very well how repulsive it is to adults. So, they use it as a means of attempting to push us away and trying to convince us they don't deserve to be loved.

I sincerely hope for your sake that it really was an honest to goodness belly ache driving this little puke fest and not the other way around. Was there anything unusual happening at school today, though? Did something happen at school yesterday that stressed him out? If so, this may well have been his way getting out of having to go to school today and thus avoiding whatever the stressor or perceived stressor was.

Reba said...

I am just glad to not feel alone. I have both of my Guats having incredible tantrums today. I am responding as calmly on the outside as I can which is VERY far from how I fit on the inside. Breathe in, breathe out.

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Yeah, what DIana said. (she does that to me all the time LOL!). Genea can spontaneously puke. All my years I had never heard of that particular skill in young kids until reading blogs. Then I realized all of the times Genea had thrown up when she wasn't sick before, and wasn't sick after, aha, she was making herself puke! It was usually when she was upset but not showing an outward tantrum. Anyway, I just wanted to give you that heads up just in case.
Puke stinks! Blah!

BT said...

I'm with Diana and Essie in raising the possibility that this was an expression of some sort of emotion. Our P used to puke at will over all sorts of things -- all the reasons Diana mentioned. Thank goodness those days are past. It got old really quickly.

I just started reading "20 things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew" and it is GREAT if you haven't read it.

Mamita J said...

Wendy,

Poor Ahren. I hope he's feeling better.

Cupcake also gets all behavioral on us if she is sick (or if I am sick, which is the case today.) She has a real fear with being sick. She often begs me to take her to the doctor for any minor thing. I think she's really afraid of dying. And she is just as afraid when we are sick. We've had more than our fair share of hospitalizations since she's been home. She thinks every fever/cold is going to lead to the ER or surgery.

Also, Cupcake feels her big feelings in her gut. Me,too. Every time I am in a high-stress, scary situation, I feel like throwing up.

Cupcake would rage and rage and rage and then barf. And then it would all be over.

So, whether it was the tummy that lead to the RAD or the other way around, just hang in there.

Love,
Julie

Reba said...

Wendy, is there any chance you could e-mail me? I have some RADish questions. Reba (RRinks@aol.com)