Sunday, July 03, 2011

Do you ever wonder.....

Why we end up in the place and time we do? Why things are just so no matter how hard we try to make them into what we desire? Why the important people in our lives are there, what purpose they serve and what we contribute to the relationships? Why is one relationship so easy and another so difficult? Why we love with no borders and give with no reservations and still get hurt time after time....and yet continue to believe and hope and think good of people?

I always think the best of people until they prove me wrong. Even then, they might have to transgress quite a few times before I give up on them. It's just the way I am wired. Unfortunately this also means that when someone breaks my trust I am stunned and terribly hurt. I NEVER see it coming and I usually blame myself for the hurts.

A long time ago, during the early years of my life, I was involved in something pretty terrible. I was young enough that I knew it was wrong but not quite sure of why or what to do about it. Someone hurt two people very near and dear to my heart. My sister and my Aunt. I was locked in a laundry room, unable to do anything to help, and it left a huge burden on my soul. Ever since that night, I have fought like a tiger to never, ever be that helpless again and to never, ever let anyone hurt those I love again. I became the great defender. But, that fire within me didn't extend to protecting myself. Other, yes, but me? I was not worthy of fighting for. I deserved all the bad things that might come my way.

I suppose that is why I have fought so long and hard for Ahren and Seth and Peri Brynn. That fire burning deep in my soul has given me the energy and will to keep going against insurmountable odds even at the darkest of times. I fight when many others have reasonably given up. I fight when the odds are stacked against me. I fight for the underdog each and every time.

Why am I not a victim and instead a survivor? I don't know. Personality traits I was born with? A strong family who held strong values and showed me the higher path? All I know is that those who do not know me well can be intimidated by my force, my passion, my drive, but they don't really know me. Inside I am a terrified little girl locked in a laundry room, hoping for a savior.

Never judge others quickly. Never assume to know their motives. Never, ever think you know what is really behind another's actions. That pushy outspoken woman just might be hiding the terrified child within.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are AMAZING.
Those that know you in person could not wish for a better more loyal friend who would always be there for them.
People in this world are often judgement of others and yet they don't know their story and they haven't walked in their shoes.
I know you through your blog, to be a Caring, Compassionate, Person with a Beautiful Heart and Soul.
You have a great enormous equal love for both your Heart Family and your Blood Family and a passion to help those less fornunate then youself, who society has casted away into 'There's nothing more we need or can do basket'.
You are a devoted Mumma Bear, who who would chase down anyone with your claws out that hurt your clubs.
You would still however even then, retract your claws and listen to their Story, unless they had caused Your Cub real harm, for although everyone has a story they must not allow their story to hurt or harm others.
You Are Not a Survivior,
You Are Not A Victim,
YOU ARE A WARRIOR.
You are One Of Lifes True Treasure's and the world would be a better place if their were more people like you in it, that gave their Heart and Souls for those that they love and for what they believe in.
Let the frighten child within hear you ROAR beacuse you Truely Are One Of Lifes WARRIOR'S.
with love
from Grandma Jo
South Australia.

Crystal said...

I adore you Wendy --you are an angel and such a HUGE blessings through your writings --I adore you and think the world of you

Your humor on this blog reminds me not to take this craziness so seriously--LOOOOVE them with everything I have and we will move past the crazies and laugh a little while we are mucking through the "stuff"--I adore your perspective and wish you were my neighbor! :)

You are a survivor and an awesome awesome angel!!!!!!!!! :)

Reba said...

Oh, Wendy, I have no words...I just sit here with tears. I think this is so true of many people. It is so easy for us (in general, not you and me :) to judge, but we often don't know the stories behind the faces, behind the actions. And having some very imperfect children has taught me that (for both them and for me ). Anyway,your blog is one of the first I read...you are such an encouragement to me.

ManyBlessings said...

Beautiful.

Love you.