Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Seriously?

  We are working hard to get back into our normal routine. We NEED routine. We NEED boring, no surprises, same ol' same ol'. Without routine, all is lost. My sanity, their manners, progress. You know, all the important things.

  Yesterday morning Seth said a bad word. I explained that the word was not allowed to be said in our home and that he was absolutely not to ever say it again. Well, 3 minutes later guess what came out of his mouth? I told him that since he now knew this was an unacceptable word, that he had to have a punishment. For his punishment, I sent him to brush his teeth and get rid of all the nasty in his mouth. I thought that was such a great punishment! Seth didn't, though. He immediately began wailing and screaming and throwing toys, then proceeded to hit himself in the head over and over. Oh boy I just wanted to snatch him up and turn him over my knee! Instead, I scooped him up and held him like a baby, gently rocking him until he calmed down. Then I sweetly asked him what was so bad about brushing his teeth. He looked totally confused. So I re-counted how he had said a bad word twice, and that I had sentenced him to brush his teeth to get rid of the nasty. So what was so bad about brushing his teeth? His answer: nothing. Well then why did he have such a tantrum? He looked even more confused. We ended up talking for a while about how if he would actually listen to me, he wouldn't have to throw a tantrum and everything would be fine. But if he didn't listen he was actually getting upset over nothing. We talked about it several times during the day, too, just to try and drive the point into his brain. It always amazes me how his brain works. He is super smart, but when the wiring shorts out he has one, and only one, reaction. Total meltdown. How do you un-do that? Will he ever get beyond that? It's bad enough at age 5, but what about when he is 15? Will he have any self control? Is he going to end up in prison because he has faulty brain wiring? I worry so much about his future. He is such a sweet, adorable little guy with so much going for him. It breaks my heart to see him struggling.

4 comments:

Diana said...

RAD sucks! So sorry you're dealing with this. It is so frustrating. I've yet to find a good way to make my RAD stop the negative behaviors, especially during a short circuit.

Reba said...

Oh, how many times we have had this discussion. SOOOO many times. I will say that we are (at least today) seeing improvement. And it seems like the knee jerk tantrum is not the first reaction these days. So maybe, just maybe there is hope! (One thing we have found effective recently when I see her temper start to flare is to have her hold her breath while I dramatically count to 10. Then she has to blow on my hand as hard as possible. Usually she is laughing before we finish)

ManyBlessings said...

I think I have your son's twin living under my roof! Lol! Insert J's name instead of Seth and we've got a match! ;)

Stacie said...

My son came to our family when he was 8 and he is now 11. We see a therapist weekly and she also does play therapy with my son for his RAD. It has really helped to seek outside professional help for the both of us......It took me about two years to realize I couldn't do it all. I know where your coming from on your blogging about RAD...LOL. My son can go from 0-100 in one second, sure does make life interesting.