To follow up on my last post....

I should have added a little more information about the 'normal' things we try and do. Vacations are comprised of visits to our beach house. Since it is a home-away-from-home for us, it is much less traumatic for the kids. We cook our meals and eat the same foods we always eat. We sleep in familiar beds. We take time out for rest times. The kids never stay overnight with anyone, never have sitters so we can go out, and only have sitters to watch while we do projects around the house. Where we go, they go 24/7/365.

The classes we have been attending at the Children's museum are made up of 4-6 children, while the museum is closed and the place is quiet. I sit outside the door the entire time and they can peek out and see me at any time. They were anxious at first, but after a couple of classes they have come to love it. I think this was an important step in preparing them for kindergarten next year. Also, the director of the museum is awesome and understands kids with trauma issues. She has made it a safe place to be ourselves and not be judged.

Halloween is also a small affair. We are making cute costumes and going to have a hay ride around the neighborhood with close friends. There won't be a lot of candy and I will control access to what they do get.

Their birthday party is with a small group of close friends at a craft place they know and love. I have found crafting activities to be an awesome outlet for the boys. The party will be focused on doing a craft and enjoying time with friends. They are crazy excited about it and I am sure we will have some meltdowns, but we spend a little time every day processing it and managing expectations.

So, in a nutshell, yes I am exposing them to things that might be more difficult for them to handle, but I do it in a controlled, baby-steps at a time way, and work with them to handle it as we go. For the most part it seems to work for us. Anytime I feel a situation is too much for them, we opt out. We have skipped many birthday parties and other events and I am sure most of our friends think we are the biggest party poopers evah! (Naw, they really understand) My goal is to have the boys prepared for school next year so that when they HAVE to attend it won't be devastating and terrifying. My heart breaks to think about them sitting in a classroom without me and being so scared and alone. I have to do whatever I can to give them the skill set to handle what is coming so they can be successful.