Monday, October 11, 2010

I don't know why..

I don't know why I feel the need to defend myself. Honestly, each and every kid needs a different approach. Some have issue with one thing, and others with another. Some are RAD and some also have PTSD. Each and every child needs a customized approach to their problems. Their is no cookie-cutter approach to this. No play book. No instructions.

We all wing it. Every day, every moment. No one has ever written the book of how to deal with this. We are all on our own. We have each other and that is all. Oh my goodness! There are so many variations of what we deal with that it makes it so difficult to deal with. So many levels, so many gradiations. It is insane.

My kids have certain needs. They each have a unique history that has shaped them. Each one needs different things to heal and grow. My job is to figure these things out and fulfill them. It is a BIG job. Way Big. I am trying my best. Every day, every minute, every thought. I think about their future all day long every day. My babies have to be successful as grownups. That is my goal. Oh my, I am struggling and hurting and praying for them. My babies. I love them so much!!!!!!


Reba said...

Amen, amen, amen! And really, that is true for all kids. I am sure some look at one of my children and wonder why I haven't "straightened her out" yet. If they only knew the scars and hurts on her heart and how far we have come. And sometimes that means parenting in a different way. I am doing what I know to do and praying for the best. It is hard being Mommies.

Diana said...

You are SO absolutly right. As their mom, YOU are the one that knows them best and YOU are the one who will always know best what they need. Others can help, others can support, others can even offer their opinions. But in the end, that's really all they are...opinions. There is no such thing as a "one size fits all" kid...nor is there any one sure-fire method for parenting them.

As we all know, what works for "normal" kids doesn't generally work for hurt kids and can very often be counter-productive. But even when we're talking hurt kid-hurt kid, what works for one won't work for the next. While yes, indeed, there ARE some methods that I do believe work better than others, not every trick in any book will work 100% of the time with ANY kid. Just to make things even more fun, what works today may not tomorrow!

I hope I didn't offend you with my comment the other day. I wasn't judging or criticizing AT ALL! I appologize whole heartedly if it came across that way. I was only stating what I've experienced regarding MY kids and MY experience and certainly didn't mean to generalize it as a blanket truth of any sort. I'm definatley not an expert on ALL kids. Ha Ha! Far from it. Most of the time, I'm not even an expert on my own. I'm winging it just like everyone else is!

But, I do find it REALLY annoying when people DON'T listen to for example, the church people. They aren't interested in listening or learning, but they are very quick to judge. Never mind that not one of them have ever parented a traumatized child...but because we've never parented a teenager, we don't know anything. GRRR!

Wendy said...

Diana, don't worry. I wasn't offended. it just made me realize that what we deal with is so unique every day and I felt I needed to add more details. I don't want someone to think I have all the answers, even with my OWN kids, let alone theirs.