Monday, February 14, 2011


Today I am going to be brutally honest, with you and myself. I have a problem sometimes with anger. No, not like I punch holes in walls and run people off the road (although I have thought about that second one in the car rider line ;-) I mean the kind where your kids make you so incredibly mad that you have to send them to their rooms for fear you might just shake the snot out of them. The kind that leaves you counting to ten and listening to your own heart thunder in your ears for a few moments. Yeah, not pretty and nothing to be proud of, but true.

Unfortunately, dealing with kids with 'issues' means dealing with little people whose sole purpose in life is to push you to that point. To them, that is victory! They push and push and push, finding every single button that could set you off, and then, they push some more. They are relentless little buggers and can smell weakness a mile away. You don't feel good? Hoooo boy, it's time to push more. Didn't get any sleep last night, time to think of something new to pull. Worried about something else, time to wind up and really give it to you!

Today I am fighting a chest infection, not feeling very well and not up to snuff. (Listen carefully and you can hear the theme to Jaws.....blood in the water) Last Friday I saw a doctor about my psoriasis and he prescribed some horribly expensive cream that is so strong it will scar your face, but it is healing up my nasty patches quite nicely. I left the tube on my desk, where I use it several times a day. Then suddenly, this afternoon, I find the cap in the middle of the living room and the tube missing.

I sat the two little boys on the couch and calmly asked them what had happened to my medicine. Ahren looked at me wide eyed and confused. Seth dropped his chin, refused to look me in the eyes and started stammering. (It is a wonderful thing that neither of these two has come anywhere close to mastering the art of lying. They both stink at it!) No matter how I asked, Seth refused to tell me where the tube was. Now I was worried. The medicine is very strong and the tube is open. A dog could eat it and get very sick. Seth could have gotten it on his skin and end up scarred. I needed to find that tube.

I left them on the couch and began searching. I finally found the tube, minus a good portion, under a bed. Now I returned to Seth and showed him the evidence and told him I needed to know where the cream had gone. I got lies and crying and mis-direction and his attempts at blaming others. I finally told him he had better get to his room or I was going to lose it and he would be very sorry. He picked that moment to mount an offensive and begin to scream at me. Oh dear lord I wanted to turn him over my knee and tan his hide! Instead I stepped back, gave him the 'Look of Death' and said in a very quiet and icey voice, 'Get to your room, NOW'. He must have seen my hold on control slipping because he scooted right to his room and onto his bed. (Very wise choice son)

I sat quietly for a little while, then went in and got him and again asked him to show me where the cream went. He led me into the guest bedroom but then couldn't remember what he did with it. I stood patiently and waited. Finally, he 'remembered'. He had rubbed it all over a toy. We then went through several rounds of asking ones-self "Is it mine? No? Then don't touch it."

The lesson did not make even a slight impression on him. Ten minutes later I caught him playing with my new glasses. Lather, rinse, repeat. I think he is just going to have to go to bed right after supper tonight or run the risk of Mommy losing her shiznit and hog tying him.

Note: Yes, I do know how to hog tie, No I have never actually used on my kids. Just wishful thinking.....;-)


Diana said...

I'm right there with you, Mama! Way to come out of the closet!! We still have those moments at our when my kid peed in the furnace vent last week. Yah, that was fun. Good for you for holding your cool! Not only would you have felt horrible, but you never would have found the cream.

Sending you bunches of hugs and loves!!

Reba said...

Once again, I completely understand. I have been there and done that. I wish I always took the high road, but sometimes I don't hold on to my anger...sometimes I raise my voice and sometimes I feel my whole body shaking as I breathe in and out. As for the touching other's things, if you ever find a cure for that, let me know. We have a BIG problem with that at our house...