is also known as my boy's bathroom. No one else dares to venture in there for fear of never being able to escape. I wipe it down frequently with bleach wipes and then every week I head in there in my hazmat suit and give it a good scrubbing and detoxification.
I used to wear rubber gloves, but have more recently gone to using a long handled scrubber. That way i don't have to get up close and personal with the mess. Believe me, the handle cannot be long enough!
So today I attacked the bathroom and I found:
1) #1 all over the seat, the hinges, the floor around the commode, and the side of the trash can next to the commode.
2) #2 on the TP holder, toilet seat, the flush knob, the edge of the counter top
AND, amazingly......
3) #2 on the shower wall 6 1/2 feet off the floor. (And I confirmed it was #2 with the sniff test)
OK, I ask you, how in the WORLD can someone get poo in that location without serious effort? I can only imagine some small person flinging poopy drawers at the wall. But...I have not FOUND any poopy drawers for several weeks. I don't even WANT to think how it got there.......
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Hope
Hope is such a wonderful thing and yet when it is dashed hurts more than anything. Understandably we strive NOT to get our hopes up so we won't be hurt, but invariably we do it anyway. (Or at least I do) Maybe hope is all I can hang onto some days, so it's better than nothing. Or maybe i am just a naturally hopeful, optimistic person.
Lately we have had some things to be hopeful about. The first is that the US government is re-doubling efforts to get the grand-fathered Guatemalan children finally processed and home to their forever families. The last big visit down there was less than successful. They determined that one huge stumbling block to being able to advocate for us waiting families was the fact that the people in the group advocating for us did not have a legal position in order to demand to see and work on our adoption files. Well, that was solved by us waiting families signing a legal document giving them the authority to intervene on our behalf. Now they are going back to Guatemala, documents in hand, and demanding progress. I am carefully hopeful. I know that Guatemalan authorities do not always follow the letter of the law (theirs or ours) and they are not always rational. (OK, I am being kind with that. They are usually downright difficult in all areas) So soon we may have a bit of info about our most loved and hoped for little girl, Peri Brynn.
The other most amazing thing that has brought us hope has to do with Seth. I found a child psychiatrist nearby who was willing to take him on as a new patient. Our great therapist has done wonders helping us tackle a lot of behaviors, but he didn't really dig into the reasons he is like that or try and help him work through them. He might be able to better control the behaviors, but he has not worked THROUGH any of his issues in therapy with him. The psychiatrist is a woman, very knowledgeable and actually spent an entire hour talking to us and Seth. I was really afraid that she would see some of our worst issues and want to just medicate the living daylights out of him. Instead, she congratulated us for all the progress he has made and came up with a BRILLIANT plan.
She told me about research that shows that young brains that have suffered traumatic situations are like a machine that fritzes out, and that by using anti-seizure meds that slow down the electrical impulses in specific portions of the brain, you allow the brain to continue to develop and actually HEAL itself. The temporal lobe is the home of impulse control, of which Seth has NONE. He has had success with ADHD meds but those work by sedating the frontal lobe and slowing the child down. The brain doesn't continue to develop quite as quickly and the child suffers the side-effects like slow weight gain, etc. So, instead, you use a very low dose of specific anti-seizure meds, the child gains a longer time window in which to think through his impulses and curb them, yet the brain develops normally and there are fewer side-effects.
Seth started on half of the lowest dose for the first week, then up to the full lowest dose the second week. This child is still very active but HAPPY and has not gotten in trouble in 10 days. That is an all-time RECORD for this boy!!!! He even told me he FEELS better. He hasn't been having nightmares, which were occurring 2-3 times a week before, and he is still eating and sleeping like a champ.
UPDATED: The anti-seizure med we are trying is tegretol
Hope. Hope for Peri Brynn, hope for Seth. Hope for normal lives, full of their own hopes and dreams and happiness. Hope is a wonderful thing.
Lately we have had some things to be hopeful about. The first is that the US government is re-doubling efforts to get the grand-fathered Guatemalan children finally processed and home to their forever families. The last big visit down there was less than successful. They determined that one huge stumbling block to being able to advocate for us waiting families was the fact that the people in the group advocating for us did not have a legal position in order to demand to see and work on our adoption files. Well, that was solved by us waiting families signing a legal document giving them the authority to intervene on our behalf. Now they are going back to Guatemala, documents in hand, and demanding progress. I am carefully hopeful. I know that Guatemalan authorities do not always follow the letter of the law (theirs or ours) and they are not always rational. (OK, I am being kind with that. They are usually downright difficult in all areas) So soon we may have a bit of info about our most loved and hoped for little girl, Peri Brynn.
The other most amazing thing that has brought us hope has to do with Seth. I found a child psychiatrist nearby who was willing to take him on as a new patient. Our great therapist has done wonders helping us tackle a lot of behaviors, but he didn't really dig into the reasons he is like that or try and help him work through them. He might be able to better control the behaviors, but he has not worked THROUGH any of his issues in therapy with him. The psychiatrist is a woman, very knowledgeable and actually spent an entire hour talking to us and Seth. I was really afraid that she would see some of our worst issues and want to just medicate the living daylights out of him. Instead, she congratulated us for all the progress he has made and came up with a BRILLIANT plan.
She told me about research that shows that young brains that have suffered traumatic situations are like a machine that fritzes out, and that by using anti-seizure meds that slow down the electrical impulses in specific portions of the brain, you allow the brain to continue to develop and actually HEAL itself. The temporal lobe is the home of impulse control, of which Seth has NONE. He has had success with ADHD meds but those work by sedating the frontal lobe and slowing the child down. The brain doesn't continue to develop quite as quickly and the child suffers the side-effects like slow weight gain, etc. So, instead, you use a very low dose of specific anti-seizure meds, the child gains a longer time window in which to think through his impulses and curb them, yet the brain develops normally and there are fewer side-effects.
Seth started on half of the lowest dose for the first week, then up to the full lowest dose the second week. This child is still very active but HAPPY and has not gotten in trouble in 10 days. That is an all-time RECORD for this boy!!!! He even told me he FEELS better. He hasn't been having nightmares, which were occurring 2-3 times a week before, and he is still eating and sleeping like a champ.
UPDATED: The anti-seizure med we are trying is tegretol
Hope. Hope for Peri Brynn, hope for Seth. Hope for normal lives, full of their own hopes and dreams and happiness. Hope is a wonderful thing.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Life is Brutal
Oh hey, there you are, the small group of loyal readers who wait for my occasional posts lately. Sorry, life keeps getting in the way. I love you, I really do, but all these small people demand my attention. Then there is that pesky full time job, plus house work and 5 acres to keep tamed. I never catch up. never ever ever. I even have dreams of dirty houses and the show Hoarders. No stress there!!!!!
So, one HUGE change here is that I found a new psychiatrist for Seth. We spent a couple of hours there recently and have a whole new game plan. It seems that (no surprise here) that a traumatic background (as in lost families, etc) can change the brain of a child. It turns certain portions of the brain into large 'fritzing' sections when exposed to stimulus. Zzzzz...Zzzzzzzz...ZZZzzzzz. That portion of the brain that handles impulses is the temporal lobe. Often, the activity perceived in the child resembles ADHD. No impulse control, high activity level, etc etc.
This doctor believes that by slowing down the activity in the temporal lobe, you allow the child to attain impulse control and also allow the brain to mature. He opinion is that ADHD meds work by sedating the frontal lobes, which brings about a slower, more calm child. But...it does not allow brain development to occur. Instead, you slow down the synapse pulses of electricity in the temporal lobe and give the child the chance to react rationally and accurately. They learn and grow normally and the trauma damaged parts of their brains HEAL. In a few years he will be NORMAL. That is what she told me.
Oh Great Succotash Limes!!!!!!!! Is that even possible? I hate to even get my hopes up. Normal??? How good is that?????
So 10 days into the meds and Seth is a different child. He has not gotten in trouble at all this week. He is calm, he sleeps much more, he is sweet and regulated and NORMAL.
I am holding my breath..........
So, one HUGE change here is that I found a new psychiatrist for Seth. We spent a couple of hours there recently and have a whole new game plan. It seems that (no surprise here) that a traumatic background (as in lost families, etc) can change the brain of a child. It turns certain portions of the brain into large 'fritzing' sections when exposed to stimulus. Zzzzz...Zzzzzzzz...ZZZzzzzz. That portion of the brain that handles impulses is the temporal lobe. Often, the activity perceived in the child resembles ADHD. No impulse control, high activity level, etc etc.
This doctor believes that by slowing down the activity in the temporal lobe, you allow the child to attain impulse control and also allow the brain to mature. He opinion is that ADHD meds work by sedating the frontal lobes, which brings about a slower, more calm child. But...it does not allow brain development to occur. Instead, you slow down the synapse pulses of electricity in the temporal lobe and give the child the chance to react rationally and accurately. They learn and grow normally and the trauma damaged parts of their brains HEAL. In a few years he will be NORMAL. That is what she told me.
Oh Great Succotash Limes!!!!!!!! Is that even possible? I hate to even get my hopes up. Normal??? How good is that?????
So 10 days into the meds and Seth is a different child. He has not gotten in trouble at all this week. He is calm, he sleeps much more, he is sweet and regulated and NORMAL.
I am holding my breath..........
Sunday, July 24, 2011
What NOT to do in this heat
Most of you are also experiencing huge temps around the nation. Your high might not be the same as our highs but I still feel for you. If you are used to 80 degree temps then 95 feels awful. We are a bit more used to the heat, but still, we have our limits. Today hit 103F, not including the heat index. That hit somewhere around 110F.
So what fun activity did we plan for the day? Why moving Kaytee out of her apartment, that's what! She can't move into her new place for 3 weeks so everything came home and got unloaded into the barn. Oh, and did I mention that her apartment is a 2nd and 3rd story unit? With outdoor stairs? In the heat????
I did have a flash of brilliance and hired 2 men to help carry everything down and load it into our trailer. Too bad we couldn't bring them home with us to unload. That was all us. To top it all off, her room mate grabbed her sparse furnishings and fled without cleaning anything at all. Not the kitchen, not the food in the fridge, not the bathrooms, nor the floors, nor even take out the trash. I feel like dumping a bag of trash in her room and leaving it, while the rest of the house will be spotless. But I won't. Instead we started cleaning today and will go back tomorrow and spend the day finishing everything. Clean bathrooms, clean kitchen, clean fridge, clean floors, clean blinds, clean oven, clean carpets, clean everything. I think I inhaled too much bleach today because my sinuses feel like hamburger. So do Kaytee's. She was scrubbing and packing like a trooper today.
Now we get to do it all in reverse in 2.5 weeks. Yep, yay us! Oh, you know you want to help! It's sooo much fun!!!!!!
So what fun activity did we plan for the day? Why moving Kaytee out of her apartment, that's what! She can't move into her new place for 3 weeks so everything came home and got unloaded into the barn. Oh, and did I mention that her apartment is a 2nd and 3rd story unit? With outdoor stairs? In the heat????
I did have a flash of brilliance and hired 2 men to help carry everything down and load it into our trailer. Too bad we couldn't bring them home with us to unload. That was all us. To top it all off, her room mate grabbed her sparse furnishings and fled without cleaning anything at all. Not the kitchen, not the food in the fridge, not the bathrooms, nor the floors, nor even take out the trash. I feel like dumping a bag of trash in her room and leaving it, while the rest of the house will be spotless. But I won't. Instead we started cleaning today and will go back tomorrow and spend the day finishing everything. Clean bathrooms, clean kitchen, clean fridge, clean floors, clean blinds, clean oven, clean carpets, clean everything. I think I inhaled too much bleach today because my sinuses feel like hamburger. So do Kaytee's. She was scrubbing and packing like a trooper today.
Now we get to do it all in reverse in 2.5 weeks. Yep, yay us! Oh, you know you want to help! It's sooo much fun!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Ch-Ch-Changes......
You know how the economy is recovering (NOT) and lots more jobs are available (NOT) and how the recession is in the past (NOT) and how all the stimulus money spent by the government helped spur lots of infra-structure development (NOT)? Well, it has impacted us in a very personal way.
The beach house that we enjoyed so much is for sale. The boat is sold, the jet ski's are sold, the golf cart is sold, and at the end of this month the house is sold. We had one last hurrah at the beach to celebrate and now we say Goodbye.
We are sad, but still hugely blessed. It could be so much worse. We are the lucky ones who HAD a house to sell. Let's just hope that it turns around for all of us. Amen.
Introducing......
The latest addition to our family
BOGART
Bogart (Bogie for short) is a Gemini, born on May 31st. He loves long walks, smelling toes and peeing on the rug. (He fits in perfectly!)
He joins full-blooded big brother Buster (same breeder, same sire and dam).
He had us at hello.....
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Wait, it's mid-July already????
Good grief this summer is flying by so fast! I just realized that I hadn't ordered the kid's school supplies from the school (conveniently pre-packaged and in-expensive) and now it's too late. That means I have to go find all the stuff myself, fight the crowds and go to several different stored to try and get everything. I am kicking myself!!!
Everyone is good here. Still no rain, worst drought in history combined with record high temperatures. Water rationing and burn bans are in effect. Every day you hear of another fire racing through the parched countryside and pray it is stopped before it takes any more lives or homes. Thousands of acres have already burned and no sign of it letting up anytime soon.
We spend our days swimming and holing up in the AC. So far no one has gone bonkers but it is only a matter of time before the kids can't take it any more. We try and do at least one big outing a week to help with the boredom. (Big outing might actually mean visiting the chicken sandwich shop for kids craft time followed by lunch....) We have also been setting up a lot of play dates. Ours are not the only stir-crazed kids these days!
We have some fun and exciting posts to share when I have time. One big outing for a birthday and one new addition to the family (No, not another child...LOL!)
Posts coming soon......
Everyone is good here. Still no rain, worst drought in history combined with record high temperatures. Water rationing and burn bans are in effect. Every day you hear of another fire racing through the parched countryside and pray it is stopped before it takes any more lives or homes. Thousands of acres have already burned and no sign of it letting up anytime soon.
We spend our days swimming and holing up in the AC. So far no one has gone bonkers but it is only a matter of time before the kids can't take it any more. We try and do at least one big outing a week to help with the boredom. (Big outing might actually mean visiting the chicken sandwich shop for kids craft time followed by lunch....) We have also been setting up a lot of play dates. Ours are not the only stir-crazed kids these days!
We have some fun and exciting posts to share when I have time. One big outing for a birthday and one new addition to the family (No, not another child...LOL!)
Posts coming soon......
Sunday, July 03, 2011
Do you ever wonder.....
Why we end up in the place and time we do? Why things are just so no matter how hard we try to make them into what we desire? Why the important people in our lives are there, what purpose they serve and what we contribute to the relationships? Why is one relationship so easy and another so difficult? Why we love with no borders and give with no reservations and still get hurt time after time....and yet continue to believe and hope and think good of people?
I always think the best of people until they prove me wrong. Even then, they might have to transgress quite a few times before I give up on them. It's just the way I am wired. Unfortunately this also means that when someone breaks my trust I am stunned and terribly hurt. I NEVER see it coming and I usually blame myself for the hurts.
A long time ago, during the early years of my life, I was involved in something pretty terrible. I was young enough that I knew it was wrong but not quite sure of why or what to do about it. Someone hurt two people very near and dear to my heart. My sister and my Aunt. I was locked in a laundry room, unable to do anything to help, and it left a huge burden on my soul. Ever since that night, I have fought like a tiger to never, ever be that helpless again and to never, ever let anyone hurt those I love again. I became the great defender. But, that fire within me didn't extend to protecting myself. Other, yes, but me? I was not worthy of fighting for. I deserved all the bad things that might come my way.
I suppose that is why I have fought so long and hard for Ahren and Seth and Peri Brynn. That fire burning deep in my soul has given me the energy and will to keep going against insurmountable odds even at the darkest of times. I fight when many others have reasonably given up. I fight when the odds are stacked against me. I fight for the underdog each and every time.
Why am I not a victim and instead a survivor? I don't know. Personality traits I was born with? A strong family who held strong values and showed me the higher path? All I know is that those who do not know me well can be intimidated by my force, my passion, my drive, but they don't really know me. Inside I am a terrified little girl locked in a laundry room, hoping for a savior.
Never judge others quickly. Never assume to know their motives. Never, ever think you know what is really behind another's actions. That pushy outspoken woman just might be hiding the terrified child within.
I always think the best of people until they prove me wrong. Even then, they might have to transgress quite a few times before I give up on them. It's just the way I am wired. Unfortunately this also means that when someone breaks my trust I am stunned and terribly hurt. I NEVER see it coming and I usually blame myself for the hurts.
A long time ago, during the early years of my life, I was involved in something pretty terrible. I was young enough that I knew it was wrong but not quite sure of why or what to do about it. Someone hurt two people very near and dear to my heart. My sister and my Aunt. I was locked in a laundry room, unable to do anything to help, and it left a huge burden on my soul. Ever since that night, I have fought like a tiger to never, ever be that helpless again and to never, ever let anyone hurt those I love again. I became the great defender. But, that fire within me didn't extend to protecting myself. Other, yes, but me? I was not worthy of fighting for. I deserved all the bad things that might come my way.
I suppose that is why I have fought so long and hard for Ahren and Seth and Peri Brynn. That fire burning deep in my soul has given me the energy and will to keep going against insurmountable odds even at the darkest of times. I fight when many others have reasonably given up. I fight when the odds are stacked against me. I fight for the underdog each and every time.
Why am I not a victim and instead a survivor? I don't know. Personality traits I was born with? A strong family who held strong values and showed me the higher path? All I know is that those who do not know me well can be intimidated by my force, my passion, my drive, but they don't really know me. Inside I am a terrified little girl locked in a laundry room, hoping for a savior.
Never judge others quickly. Never assume to know their motives. Never, ever think you know what is really behind another's actions. That pushy outspoken woman just might be hiding the terrified child within.
Saturday, July 02, 2011
A Series of Triggers
This time of the summer is full of lovely triggers for my little ones. it starts off with Kaytee's birthday June 16, then Father's Day followed by Chris's birthday June 23rd. Then a week later, on July 1st is Levi's birthday and then the 4th of July. You can imagine how things have been going.
Ahren seems to have managed to just roll right through everything without blinking an eye. He has been doing so wonderfully lately. The combination of neuro-sensory therapy, neuro-supplements and lots of martial arts PT seems to be making a huge difference. Suddenly, he is running again, and climbing and doing things for himself willingly. He is making wonderful progress. He doesn't even fall down except for about 5 times a day now. It used to be 30 or more!
Seth. Poor little bugger. He is still suffering. I have to remind myself how much better he is than a year ago at this time. He really is about 95% normal now. Even without ADHD meds. But....well.....he has a gift for driving me insane! That 5% dis-regulated little trauma fritz in his brain is very powerful. If it isn't bodily waste issues then it is sneaky destructive behaviors. Last night he managed to get a Guatemalan keepsake of Ahren's off a shelf 6 feet in the air. How he did that, I have no idea. Nothing else on the shelf was disturbed and the shelf itself is hung on the wall so no lower shelves he could have climbed. (Part of me thinks he may just have levitated, his head spun around and pea soup shot out of his mouth....LOL!) He took this handcrafted woven ball and placed it...........in............the...........TOILET! Of course he then lied about it. I didn't even ask him if he did it. Once we found the ball he began spinning lies faster than a worm can spin silk. At that point it didn't matter what his reasons were or what he was trying to tell me. Levi was a sweetie and washed the ball for Ahren very carefully in the sink. Seth earned the right to not watch TV and to sit on the couch next to me until I deemed it safe to let him get down. Believe me, he got to sit there bored out of his gourd for a nice long time. Then I put him to bed and he didn't make a peep.
And then this morning I found one of my most favorite earrings in the boys bathroom broken in two pieces. Yup, you guessed it. My trauma fritz boy got back at me. So today he is on a very, very short leash. (No, not a REAL leash, that would be cruel!........but hey, that might actually work......) A proverbial short leash. He gets to stay close to me, not have any privileges and enjoy my bad mood. For once a good case of the crabbies is coming in useful! Unfortunately my sarcasm is lost on the boy. All that talent gone to waste. Sigh....
I think this afternoon will be full of chores so one small boy with a fritzy brain can pay back the people who he has harmed. There are tons of weeds to pull, floors to sweep, dusting to be done and 4 dogs who need baths. I think hard work might just be the best thing for a fritzy brain. I'll let you know how it turns out.....
Ahren seems to have managed to just roll right through everything without blinking an eye. He has been doing so wonderfully lately. The combination of neuro-sensory therapy, neuro-supplements and lots of martial arts PT seems to be making a huge difference. Suddenly, he is running again, and climbing and doing things for himself willingly. He is making wonderful progress. He doesn't even fall down except for about 5 times a day now. It used to be 30 or more!
Seth. Poor little bugger. He is still suffering. I have to remind myself how much better he is than a year ago at this time. He really is about 95% normal now. Even without ADHD meds. But....well.....he has a gift for driving me insane! That 5% dis-regulated little trauma fritz in his brain is very powerful. If it isn't bodily waste issues then it is sneaky destructive behaviors. Last night he managed to get a Guatemalan keepsake of Ahren's off a shelf 6 feet in the air. How he did that, I have no idea. Nothing else on the shelf was disturbed and the shelf itself is hung on the wall so no lower shelves he could have climbed. (Part of me thinks he may just have levitated, his head spun around and pea soup shot out of his mouth....LOL!) He took this handcrafted woven ball and placed it...........in............the...........TOILET! Of course he then lied about it. I didn't even ask him if he did it. Once we found the ball he began spinning lies faster than a worm can spin silk. At that point it didn't matter what his reasons were or what he was trying to tell me. Levi was a sweetie and washed the ball for Ahren very carefully in the sink. Seth earned the right to not watch TV and to sit on the couch next to me until I deemed it safe to let him get down. Believe me, he got to sit there bored out of his gourd for a nice long time. Then I put him to bed and he didn't make a peep.
And then this morning I found one of my most favorite earrings in the boys bathroom broken in two pieces. Yup, you guessed it. My trauma fritz boy got back at me. So today he is on a very, very short leash. (No, not a REAL leash, that would be cruel!........but hey, that might actually work......) A proverbial short leash. He gets to stay close to me, not have any privileges and enjoy my bad mood. For once a good case of the crabbies is coming in useful! Unfortunately my sarcasm is lost on the boy. All that talent gone to waste. Sigh....
I think this afternoon will be full of chores so one small boy with a fritzy brain can pay back the people who he has harmed. There are tons of weeds to pull, floors to sweep, dusting to be done and 4 dogs who need baths. I think hard work might just be the best thing for a fritzy brain. I'll let you know how it turns out.....
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Working on the Spectrum
I have a secret to admit. I LOVE working with kids on the spectrum. Seriously, they never cease to amaze me. Each and every one is so precious and yet I feel their struggles, the challenges, the difficulties. Oh how I want to help them! Even though they are the most difficult patients for me to treat, they are my favorites, by far.
I have been researching the immune system connection more. it appears that many, many kids on the spectrum also have immune issues. Most have an over-reactive immune system. Some trigger during early childhood sets them off and they are never the same again. In many cases it is a night and day difference. I can understand why immunizations were thought to be the cause since they are a big immune challenge. Other things that can set them off are allergic reactions to bug bites, medicines or food.
In some cases the immune reaction is so totally overwhelming that the immune system actually shuts down and the child is left with little to none immunity to our world. In the scientific world we call that the dose-hook effect. These kids remain immuno-compromised and suffer from every infectious agent they encounter.
A group of doctors has tested kids on the spectrum and found that the attenuated virus particles found in many immunizations can still be found in spinal fluid years later in these kids. That is NOT normal. Those particles should have been destroyed as the immune system built it's defenses against that disease. Instead, it is not destroyed, but stored away in vital fluids, still capable of making a mess of organic systems.
Another recent theory is that base-down prism lenses will help a child on the spectrum focus on the task in front of them. The lenses are only used for 3-4 months, just long enough for them to learn the focusing skills they need. It helps them tune out all the other stuff happening all around them. I have seen it work and it was amazing. Attention to detail, attention span, focus, it all improved. Once we removed the glasses, gradually, the child retained the skills to focus. Amazing!
I am brought so close to tears every day with these little ones. My heart is theirs, my soul is theirs, my love is theirs. I want to make a difference in their lives and I think I am. I just wish I could reach out to all the other kids out there and work a little magic.....
I have been researching the immune system connection more. it appears that many, many kids on the spectrum also have immune issues. Most have an over-reactive immune system. Some trigger during early childhood sets them off and they are never the same again. In many cases it is a night and day difference. I can understand why immunizations were thought to be the cause since they are a big immune challenge. Other things that can set them off are allergic reactions to bug bites, medicines or food.
In some cases the immune reaction is so totally overwhelming that the immune system actually shuts down and the child is left with little to none immunity to our world. In the scientific world we call that the dose-hook effect. These kids remain immuno-compromised and suffer from every infectious agent they encounter.
A group of doctors has tested kids on the spectrum and found that the attenuated virus particles found in many immunizations can still be found in spinal fluid years later in these kids. That is NOT normal. Those particles should have been destroyed as the immune system built it's defenses against that disease. Instead, it is not destroyed, but stored away in vital fluids, still capable of making a mess of organic systems.
Another recent theory is that base-down prism lenses will help a child on the spectrum focus on the task in front of them. The lenses are only used for 3-4 months, just long enough for them to learn the focusing skills they need. It helps them tune out all the other stuff happening all around them. I have seen it work and it was amazing. Attention to detail, attention span, focus, it all improved. Once we removed the glasses, gradually, the child retained the skills to focus. Amazing!
I am brought so close to tears every day with these little ones. My heart is theirs, my soul is theirs, my love is theirs. I want to make a difference in their lives and I think I am. I just wish I could reach out to all the other kids out there and work a little magic.....
Monday, June 27, 2011
Are You Freakin Kidding me?
I am having THAT kind of day. You know, the kind where it would actually be more fun if a big truck ran over your foot. And there is only one reason this day has been so not-fun, and his name rhymes with Beth.
Ever since Christmas time we have been dealing with bodily-waste control issues. It has ebbed and flowed (pun totally intended!) but never totally gone away. Then one day a few weeks ago, not having any other options for helping our little man, we decided to just completely ignore the issue. We told him so, too. It doesn't hurt ME if he has poopy pants. I don't have to sit in it. I don't have to smell it. Heck, I don't even have to clean it up. If he wants to enjoy his own feces and urine, then more power to him.
And it stopped. Not a drop of pee, not a squiggle of poo, not one extra pair of underwear that needed to be decontaminated before it could join the laundry.
We rejoiced (not in his presence of course) and patted our smug selves on the back for our superior parenting of this challenged child. We raised our arms and hooted for ourselves!
You can see where this is going.......
Today i was cleaning out some old things from the bonus room off of our bedroom. Back behind my craft cabinet, tucked in between the giant safe and file cabinet, I stumbled upon a secret. A hoard of poo crusted underwear, most also with enough dried pee to make them crackle when bent, and a wad of yellow, crusty paper towels. I began to pull them out, one by one. Four, five, six, seven. I felt my blood pressure rising. I had to stop and breathe deeply for a few minutes before I could even leave the room.
The problem is that I have no idea how old these are. Pre-'we don't care' phase, or post-'we don't care' phase. I did ask him about it, but as you might have guessed I got a lot of 'I don't know' and 'I can't remember'. I do know he pooped his pants last Friday while Kaytee was watching them and threw them in the trash to hide them.
So we decided he is back in pullups and will have to start kindergarten as the only kid in pullups.
Ever since Christmas time we have been dealing with bodily-waste control issues. It has ebbed and flowed (pun totally intended!) but never totally gone away. Then one day a few weeks ago, not having any other options for helping our little man, we decided to just completely ignore the issue. We told him so, too. It doesn't hurt ME if he has poopy pants. I don't have to sit in it. I don't have to smell it. Heck, I don't even have to clean it up. If he wants to enjoy his own feces and urine, then more power to him.
And it stopped. Not a drop of pee, not a squiggle of poo, not one extra pair of underwear that needed to be decontaminated before it could join the laundry.
We rejoiced (not in his presence of course) and patted our smug selves on the back for our superior parenting of this challenged child. We raised our arms and hooted for ourselves!
You can see where this is going.......
Today i was cleaning out some old things from the bonus room off of our bedroom. Back behind my craft cabinet, tucked in between the giant safe and file cabinet, I stumbled upon a secret. A hoard of poo crusted underwear, most also with enough dried pee to make them crackle when bent, and a wad of yellow, crusty paper towels. I began to pull them out, one by one. Four, five, six, seven. I felt my blood pressure rising. I had to stop and breathe deeply for a few minutes before I could even leave the room.
The problem is that I have no idea how old these are. Pre-'we don't care' phase, or post-'we don't care' phase. I did ask him about it, but as you might have guessed I got a lot of 'I don't know' and 'I can't remember'. I do know he pooped his pants last Friday while Kaytee was watching them and threw them in the trash to hide them.
So we decided he is back in pullups and will have to start kindergarten as the only kid in pullups.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Amazing Girl, I mean woman
Kaytee is heading off on a mission trip later this summer. This time it is to help out in a very poor town in The Dominican Republic. There they will do repairs on homes and paint a school, throw a kids carnival for the residents, and help to stock the school with supplies. This is a school that is run by a charitable group and serves the poorest of the poor. If anyone out there would like to make a donation, or say a prayer for the safety and health of the kids on this trip, I would so appreciate it!
As part of the trip, each participant is required to write a personal testimony. These will be shared with the residents and at a church service. Kaytee read me hers and I cried like a baby. I really have the most amazing children, each and every one of them.
As part of the trip, each participant is required to write a personal testimony. These will be shared with the residents and at a church service. Kaytee read me hers and I cried like a baby. I really have the most amazing children, each and every one of them.
Personal Testimony
by
Kaytee Nelson
by
Kaytee Nelson
Growing up, I had always believed in God, as my family had a Christian upbringing. I believed that heaven and hell were real but didn’t really think much them. My parents divorced when I was four, and throughout most of my life that brought me a lot of confusion about where I belonged. As I grew older it felt as if I were just going through the motions of life. I still believed in God, but I did not know Jesus. Although I was very happy, at times I felt miserable and a sense of emptiness within.
By the time I was in 8th grade, my mom had been remarried for almost four years and her and my step-dad were starting the process of adopting a baby boy from Guatemala. This brought my family and I so much joy and excitement. I went to Guatemala several times with my mom to visit my new brother, Ahren. At the time, adoptions were taking about 6 to 9 months to complete, but not Ahren’s. It seemed as if everything that could possibly go wrong with an adoption, went wrong. This tore my family apart, and my relationship with God. I blamed God for putting my family through all the heartbreak that came with his adoption. While other families were bringing home their babies within 7 months, our adoption was taking years to complete and we were never really sure if we were every going to bring this little boy home. In my eyes this was my little brother, so when I got the news that we may never get him home I shut down. From that moment on I ignored God and the emptiness in my heart.
As that summer rolled around I started going to church occasionally. Although I was still numb inside and ignoring God, I decided to go to church camp. By this time we had been in the process to adopt Ahren for 2 ½ years, and I had lost all hope in it going through. While at church camp we did an exercise where we were told to take a rock from this jar and throw it into the ocean. This was to symbolize something that we could not handle alone, and by throwing it into the ocean we were just giving it God and letting him handle it. So that’s exactly what I did, I prayed to God about Ahren’s adoption, that I would no longer think about it or doubt God on his decision. The rest of camp went great. I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart and the sense of emptiness was starting to disappear. When we got back from camp my mom was waiting for me outside the bus like all the other parents. As I stepped off she told me that Ahren’s adoption had gone through and in 2 weeks were going to get him and bring him home. That was some of the greatest news I have ever received in my life. All because I stopped doubting God and started trusting him, the greatest miracle had happened. Ahren has lived with us for almost 3 years now and he is a blessing that saved my life.
Since accepting Jesus Christ into my heart my life has changed drastically. I learned that I needed to start running to Him, instead of from Him when times get tough. I still serve the Lord to this day and no longer regret or question any decision he makes for my life. He’s opening doors and giving me a desire to encourage others in their walk of faith. He fills me with peace and happiness and in Him I find purpose.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Pictures
Levi loves animals and they love him. Look at that killer pit bull. Scary huh?
Buster, the lap dog. LOL!
Monday, June 20, 2011
I speak in a foreign tongue
I am cleaning house today. This is especially interesting with three small boys and one of their friends here for a play date, but I am getting it done. I get ready to mop the kitchen tile and announce to the boys 'Do Not come in the kitchen, I am mopping the floors'.
One small boy, instead, hears "Come in the kitchen because i am doing something really cool and you do NOT want to miss this."
I begin mopping, get about halfway done, turn to rinse out the mop and hear SPLAT behind me. The kind of loud splat that bare skin hitting wet tile makes. I turn to find small boy flat on his back on the floor.I do not help him up.
Instead, I ask him, 'Why do you think I ask you not to come in here while I am mopping?' He says he didn't know the floor was wet. I ask again, he talks about what he saw on TV. I ask again, he hems and haws. Finally he says it's because he will fall down. Ya Think? I tell him that I am the Mom and here to take care of him and keep him from being hurt. I say these things to protect him, not to be mean. He looks like a deer in the headlights. I hope his backside stings for a little bit so maybe it will sink in, but i doubt it.
One small boy, instead, hears "Come in the kitchen because i am doing something really cool and you do NOT want to miss this."
I begin mopping, get about halfway done, turn to rinse out the mop and hear SPLAT behind me. The kind of loud splat that bare skin hitting wet tile makes. I turn to find small boy flat on his back on the floor.I do not help him up.
Instead, I ask him, 'Why do you think I ask you not to come in here while I am mopping?' He says he didn't know the floor was wet. I ask again, he talks about what he saw on TV. I ask again, he hems and haws. Finally he says it's because he will fall down. Ya Think? I tell him that I am the Mom and here to take care of him and keep him from being hurt. I say these things to protect him, not to be mean. He looks like a deer in the headlights. I hope his backside stings for a little bit so maybe it will sink in, but i doubt it.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1......
5 min to take a shower
4 shedding dogs
3 rambunctious boys
2 teenage girls
1 full time job
and not enough Mama to get it all done!
I am looking for ideas to save time and energy and make more time to enjoy my family. The things I already do are cook all the meals on Sunday for the whole week, all boys laundry goes into one big communal closet sorted by size, pack my lunch the night before, run kids through showers like an army drill (seriously, I can get three boys clean in under ten minutes).
I also do the ordinary stuff like pick up a little each night, do an extra chore every morning, etc, but it is getting away from me. The biggest problem is the sitter we are using for the summer is less than ideal. The boys love her but the house is absolutely wrecked every day. I have tried to find another sitter but no luck so for now I leave her notes every day and have to pick up the slack.
Oh, and two of the dogs will be leaving. Kaytee's tiny pom will go back to school with her and the pit bull we inherited is being re-homed.
Help!
4 shedding dogs
3 rambunctious boys
2 teenage girls
1 full time job
and not enough Mama to get it all done!
I am looking for ideas to save time and energy and make more time to enjoy my family. The things I already do are cook all the meals on Sunday for the whole week, all boys laundry goes into one big communal closet sorted by size, pack my lunch the night before, run kids through showers like an army drill (seriously, I can get three boys clean in under ten minutes).
I also do the ordinary stuff like pick up a little each night, do an extra chore every morning, etc, but it is getting away from me. The biggest problem is the sitter we are using for the summer is less than ideal. The boys love her but the house is absolutely wrecked every day. I have tried to find another sitter but no luck so for now I leave her notes every day and have to pick up the slack.
Oh, and two of the dogs will be leaving. Kaytee's tiny pom will go back to school with her and the pit bull we inherited is being re-homed.
Help!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Never Believe the RAD Kid
Those of you with RAD experience already know this. RAD kids do not tell the truth. They don't tell the truth when they are in trouble (understandable), they don't tell the truth when they are NOT in trouble, they don't tell the truth when asked a simple question, they don't tell the truth when asked ANY question.
Knowing this makes parenting different and challenging, but easier in the long run. Just never believe what they say and don't freak out about it. It is what it is.
But........other people do NOT know this about them, so anyone who is put in a position of being in charge of a RAD child needs to know this. Really know this.
Enter babysitter, a 19 year old girl who thinks she has TONS of experience. Said 19 year old has also confessed to being terrified of water and not able to swim.
Yesterday, I set up an excursion out of the house for the boys. We put all of their fishing gear together and told the sitter to take them to the lake in our subdivision and let them fish off the dock. Blocks from our house, well known to them, and lots of catfish that bite. A good time was in store for all.
Babysitter could not figure out how to get to nearby lake. So instead she takes them to large lake in nearby county. (First mistake - do NOT take my kids where I have not approved)
Kids try and fish, no fish. No surprise since we had only catfish bait and they are now in non-catfish waters.
Seth is hot. He begs to go swimming. Babysitter asks him if he can swim and he says a definitive yes. He then proceeds to tell her about the swimming lessons he has had (Non existent) and show her the strokes he knows. (Picture flailing arms and head movements) She is convinced and allows him to jump off of the dock into the lake.
He immediately sinks, resurfaces, paddles a little doggy-style and then goes under again. When he surfaces he is clearly panicking. Arms flailing, gasping for air, water splashing everywhere.
At this point the sitter pulls him out of the water by his shirt (remember she cannot swim) since he is close to the dock.
I did not learn about this until a day later and I was NOT happy. Then I began to think about it and I realized that maybe he learned from a natural consequence. I asked him about it and it did scare him. Wahoo! Maybe he learned a lesson! Oh those natural consequences. They are golden.
Knowing this makes parenting different and challenging, but easier in the long run. Just never believe what they say and don't freak out about it. It is what it is.
But........other people do NOT know this about them, so anyone who is put in a position of being in charge of a RAD child needs to know this. Really know this.
Enter babysitter, a 19 year old girl who thinks she has TONS of experience. Said 19 year old has also confessed to being terrified of water and not able to swim.
Yesterday, I set up an excursion out of the house for the boys. We put all of their fishing gear together and told the sitter to take them to the lake in our subdivision and let them fish off the dock. Blocks from our house, well known to them, and lots of catfish that bite. A good time was in store for all.
Babysitter could not figure out how to get to nearby lake. So instead she takes them to large lake in nearby county. (First mistake - do NOT take my kids where I have not approved)
Kids try and fish, no fish. No surprise since we had only catfish bait and they are now in non-catfish waters.
Seth is hot. He begs to go swimming. Babysitter asks him if he can swim and he says a definitive yes. He then proceeds to tell her about the swimming lessons he has had (Non existent) and show her the strokes he knows. (Picture flailing arms and head movements) She is convinced and allows him to jump off of the dock into the lake.
He immediately sinks, resurfaces, paddles a little doggy-style and then goes under again. When he surfaces he is clearly panicking. Arms flailing, gasping for air, water splashing everywhere.
At this point the sitter pulls him out of the water by his shirt (remember she cannot swim) since he is close to the dock.
I did not learn about this until a day later and I was NOT happy. Then I began to think about it and I realized that maybe he learned from a natural consequence. I asked him about it and it did scare him. Wahoo! Maybe he learned a lesson! Oh those natural consequences. They are golden.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Peri Brynn (aka PBJ)
I know a lot of you are anxiously waiting for an update about what is happening with Peri Brynn's case. I had talked to the coordinator of Guat adoption information several months ago and she was going to find out specifics on our case and let me know.
Also, about 8 weeks ago Senator Landreau led a delegation to Guatemala to touch base and get updates on the progress of the cases still in progress. She had meetings set up with all the key players and hopes ran high.
Quick aside: For those of you not well versed in the intricacies of the current Guat adoption climate, here is a quick primer on the who's who.
PGN: National organization that oversees the welfare of children. Previously the only government body who oversaw adoptions. Once you had PGN approval the adoption was complete on the Guat side. PGN has always been notoriously unpredictable.
CNA: The new government authority tasked to oversee adoptions so that they meet the international adoption guidelines. Started 3 years ago, the organization has had numerous staff turnovers, never established a clear adoption protocol and never (to my knowledge) actually completed ANY adoptions.
Legal system: Guatemala has a unique system of local legal jurisdiction. A local judge can over-rule other judges opinions. The local judges fight amongst themselves for control constantly. Most are corrupt and only look out for their own interests.
Back to the story of Peri Brynn. Following my request for information I have received absolutely nothing. No information at all.
Following Senator Landreau's visit we waited and waited to hear how it went. After many weeks we finally got a very carefully worded message. The message it conveyed was that 'We would not give up. We would keep trying'. The details showed that all of the promises made to the US in December had not happened. Not one single thing they promised. The Guat contacts argued amongst themselves about how many cases there are, where they are stuck, who is responsible, how to fix it and about any other tiny detail they could use to blame someone else. There were many lies, much subterfuge, and lots and lots of finger pointing. The only thing NOT happening is any cooperation.
I knew I should never have begun top hope again. Hope is for fools......
Also, about 8 weeks ago Senator Landreau led a delegation to Guatemala to touch base and get updates on the progress of the cases still in progress. She had meetings set up with all the key players and hopes ran high.
Quick aside: For those of you not well versed in the intricacies of the current Guat adoption climate, here is a quick primer on the who's who.
PGN: National organization that oversees the welfare of children. Previously the only government body who oversaw adoptions. Once you had PGN approval the adoption was complete on the Guat side. PGN has always been notoriously unpredictable.
CNA: The new government authority tasked to oversee adoptions so that they meet the international adoption guidelines. Started 3 years ago, the organization has had numerous staff turnovers, never established a clear adoption protocol and never (to my knowledge) actually completed ANY adoptions.
Legal system: Guatemala has a unique system of local legal jurisdiction. A local judge can over-rule other judges opinions. The local judges fight amongst themselves for control constantly. Most are corrupt and only look out for their own interests.
Back to the story of Peri Brynn. Following my request for information I have received absolutely nothing. No information at all.
Following Senator Landreau's visit we waited and waited to hear how it went. After many weeks we finally got a very carefully worded message. The message it conveyed was that 'We would not give up. We would keep trying'. The details showed that all of the promises made to the US in December had not happened. Not one single thing they promised. The Guat contacts argued amongst themselves about how many cases there are, where they are stuck, who is responsible, how to fix it and about any other tiny detail they could use to blame someone else. There were many lies, much subterfuge, and lots and lots of finger pointing. The only thing NOT happening is any cooperation.
I knew I should never have begun top hope again. Hope is for fools......
Monday, June 13, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Crazy Busy
Life here has been crazy busy and really, really good. Once the end-of-the-school year scramble settled down, the boys have all been having great days full of swimming, playing, wrestling and eating. Oh yeah, lots of eating! I think one main element to how well behaved and calm they have been is the increased level of physical activity. They have 3 hours of martial arts a week, swim for hours every day, and have been outside a ton (even though it is hitting 100 degrees every day)
I have kept Ahren and Seth on the Neurobiologix supplements but took away the niacin from Seth. He is still not on any ADHD meds but he is doing OK. He still has episodes of spinning out of control but he can reel himself in if I tell him to. Most of the time he is high energy but not frenetic energy. Maybe the supplements are actually working. The doctor told me it would take 1-2 months but I got so excited when he showed results the first few days......now I am really seeing the results. He may actually be able to start Kindergarten medication free.
Ahren has started Neuro-sensory and Vision therapy. I take him to work with me every Saturday and he works with the other therapist for an hour. Afterwards he is exhausted and usually falls asleep in the car on the way home. It's too early to see results but I am very, very hopeful.
Levi is his normal, sweet, comical self. This morning he turned on the TV, found a cooking show, and picked a recipe he wants to make today. So later we will have posts over on Cookin with the Boyz.
There have been no potty episodes for almost two weeks. Ever since we began ignoring them and giving him more loving attention. Amazing. Completely opposite of what my insides felt and wanted to do, but oh so effective. I swear we live in the land of opposites. Now if that just worked on getting rid of Mr. Bossypants. He actually told a police officer they met the other day what to do in his job. It might seem cute to people now, but when he is 13 it's not going to be anything like cute. More likely to get him a punch in the nose.
I have kept Ahren and Seth on the Neurobiologix supplements but took away the niacin from Seth. He is still not on any ADHD meds but he is doing OK. He still has episodes of spinning out of control but he can reel himself in if I tell him to. Most of the time he is high energy but not frenetic energy. Maybe the supplements are actually working. The doctor told me it would take 1-2 months but I got so excited when he showed results the first few days......now I am really seeing the results. He may actually be able to start Kindergarten medication free.
Ahren has started Neuro-sensory and Vision therapy. I take him to work with me every Saturday and he works with the other therapist for an hour. Afterwards he is exhausted and usually falls asleep in the car on the way home. It's too early to see results but I am very, very hopeful.
Levi is his normal, sweet, comical self. This morning he turned on the TV, found a cooking show, and picked a recipe he wants to make today. So later we will have posts over on Cookin with the Boyz.
There have been no potty episodes for almost two weeks. Ever since we began ignoring them and giving him more loving attention. Amazing. Completely opposite of what my insides felt and wanted to do, but oh so effective. I swear we live in the land of opposites. Now if that just worked on getting rid of Mr. Bossypants. He actually told a police officer they met the other day what to do in his job. It might seem cute to people now, but when he is 13 it's not going to be anything like cute. More likely to get him a punch in the nose.
Friday, June 03, 2011
I Always Forget.....
Seth has had a much better week. I agree with my commenters that he is getting too close to big feelings and is pushing me away in an attempt to save his heart from more breakage. (Thanks Ladies, you ROCK!) I think the biggest trigger for him was that I ordered all the legal forms to finalize his adoption. I didn't tell him about it, but I think he overheard his Dad and I discussing it. That is a HUGE milestone, one that brings him that much closer to forever with a family, and that scares the living daylights out of him. He has to push us away RIGHT NOW before we have the chance to hurt him.
So what have I done differently this week? Well, for starters I dope slapped myself in the head for forgetting that the more un-loveable a hurt child is being, the more they actually NEED love. So I have kissed him, hugged him, looked him in the eyes, smiled my biggest smile every time I saw him, cuddled him, listened to him, and never, ever mentioned the potty issues. And not one single time this week have we had bodily waste in an inappropriate place.
Is he fixed? Heck NO!!!! He will cycle back through his big feelings and pull out the same or new (and worse) behaviors. It is just NOT that simple. But for now, he is regulated and flourishing. Traumatized kids are like onions (and so are Ogres) You peel away layers but there is more underneath. Plus it doesn't smell so good and it might make you cry!
So what have I done differently this week? Well, for starters I dope slapped myself in the head for forgetting that the more un-loveable a hurt child is being, the more they actually NEED love. So I have kissed him, hugged him, looked him in the eyes, smiled my biggest smile every time I saw him, cuddled him, listened to him, and never, ever mentioned the potty issues. And not one single time this week have we had bodily waste in an inappropriate place.
Is he fixed? Heck NO!!!! He will cycle back through his big feelings and pull out the same or new (and worse) behaviors. It is just NOT that simple. But for now, he is regulated and flourishing. Traumatized kids are like onions (and so are Ogres) You peel away layers but there is more underneath. Plus it doesn't smell so good and it might make you cry!
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