In a Pickle!!

I think I am a throw-back to days gone by. I love to knit, sew, bake, and now preserve foods in old-fashioned ways. I had never tried making jelly/jams before, but my dear mother-in-law does these things on a regular basis and she is my idol. I just had to try. My first foray into jams was with the fresh blueberries we picked a few weeks ago. The kids loved it so much it gave me confidence to try more. yesterday I made Black cherry/ Grape jelly and it is sooo yummy! Not hard at all! I swear I am a real Pioneer Woman now!

Then there is my garden. This year is so different from last year. Last year we had a huge hot spell and drought and my garden yielded zilch. This year I am getting cucumbers in the dozens. A person can only eat so many cucumbers raw, so I resorted to pickles. Lots and lots of pickles.
Then my neighbor brought us HER cucumbers, some form a GIANT variety I had never seen before. Mine on the right, hers on the left. What the heck! One slice would be enough to cover one burger!! Then again, I couldn't let them go to waste.
Does anyone want some pickles? Dill, brad and butter or spicy? Please????

Spring Babies

Buster is a wonderful dog. Well ,if you ignore the potty training issues. He is still pretty young to train so we are being patient. He is just the sweetest, calmest, best behaved little guy. All he wants is love and attention and he is happy. Here he is hanging out in the boys tiny Sponge Bob stuffed chair. I took these two weeks ago and now he is too big to fit in the chair!

It's also the season for fawns. We are seeing a few, but less than in years past when the weather was nicer through the year. Still, I love seeing them!

The Reality Fairy

I have a dear, sweet friend named Paula whom I met during our horrific ordeal adopting Ahren. We shared the same agency (who was arrested and incarcerated while we were in process) the same facilitator who was undeniably incompetent, the same many-year ordeal, the ups and downs and the final triumph of bringing our children home. We became very close and I love her like a sister.

During our long adoption roads we shared many moments of good news. Unfortunately these were always followed by BAD news. The kind of bad news that brought you to a whole new low, especially after experiencing a high and some hope. Those moments were the ones that always hurt the worst. The low after the high was always more painful, more devastating, more soul-sucking. We dreaded the highs because we knew the lows would follow with a new intensity.

Paula dubbed these the hit of the 'Reality Fairy'. Each time we dared to hope, to believe, to think it might just happen, the Reality Fairy would sweep in and smack us upside the head and deliver a devastating blow. We would joke about the Reality Fairy, but we both believed and dreaded her presence. Oh how we hated that fairy.

So here we are, post-adoption and beyond the reach of the Reality Fairy....or are we? The last 2 weeks here have been wonderful. The boys have been lovely, no big rages or out-of-control behaviors. We are having FUN! Lots of love and hugs and kisses, all spontaneous and heart-felt. We changed a few things this summer. No Nanny, just a part-time teenaged sitter. I am working very few hours and spending the majority of my time with the boys. We do special things every day. Nothing huge just time together and it has been wonderful! We are all loving it!

But the Reality Fairy has not let go of us this easily. First the microwave door broke and could not be repaired. I ordered a new one on the internet and had it shipped to a local store. it had to be the same model to fit in the built-in space in the kitchen. We have been without a microwave for two weeks. That sucks!

Then when we returned from the beach house last weekend we found that we had no hot water. One heater sprung a leak and kicked off the other one. On and of all week we have been able to get one working. Just enough to have a warm shower now and then. Three times the repair man was supposed to be here, and three times we missed him. Five minutes and it was a miss and he wouldn't answer his phone. Finally today we got it fixed (hopefully). Cold showers are getting really old.

And then, the ultimate insult. Please don't laugh at me cuz I am devastated, embarrassed and ticked off. My van was out of gas Friday morning and in a hurry to try and get to work I grabbed a five gallon gas container out of the barn and chugged a little into my tank. I took off and got all of 200 yards down the road when the engine quit. I managed to direct the van into the ditch in front of an empty lot and called Kaytee to pick me up. I drove the spare car to work and called Chris.

What I learned is that, beside the 5 gallon gas cans he had stored 5 gallon water cans. I had actually grabbed a water can and poured it into my gas tank. Oh Hells Bells, this is not good., So now my van needs to be towed to the dealership for a full work-up and I am driving the small back-up vehicle (Thank God we have that!)

Reality Fairy, could you please not just let this little period of happiness slide? Did you really need to exact some Karmic balance and make me miserable in other ways so that I was not so happy about my kids being so great? Would you be happier if I go the kids to have some huge fits and maybe break a few things?

Reality Fairy.... I hate you so very much.......

Awww Poop!

You will thank me later cuz there will be NO photos with this post. On Wednesday I had a pretty short lunch hour and I came home to help the teenage babysitter feed the kids. (Nanny had knee replacement surgery and is out of commission for a while)

As I was cleaning up the dishes and such I noticed a brown clod on the living room floor. Oh that darn puppy! I was sure he had had an accident and I was not happy about it. He had just been outside! I went over to clean it up, which was right next to Ahren who was playing the Wii....and I smelled more than a small poo on the floor. I sniffed Ahren and my eyes glazed over and my face turned green! Oh No!!! He had pooped his pants!!!! Do you know how much poo a 50 pound child who eats LOTS of food can produce?

I dragged him into the bathroom and got his pants off, smearing poo all down his legs. Sweet. What a mess. As I began to clean him up the darn dog came into the bathroom, snatched the poopy pants in his mouth and ran. Poo smeared and skittered everywhere, with the dog stepping in it and adding poopy paw prints as he went. Picture me chasing a wild puppy, poop flying everywhere, colorful language also flying everywhere. (OK, my idea of colorful language is the words "oh crap', 'Oh Dang', and maybe the 'S' word. (I am NOT gifted in this area) I caught the dog, cleaned him up and tossed him outside.

I got Ahren cleaned up, returned the poopy pants to the bathroom and shut and locked the door since I needed to get back to work. Later that night I spent a long time with Clorox wipes getting poo off of all the surfaces in the bathroom. The dirty underwear went in the trash. I know when I am beat.

Life is a Beach!

We spent our first weekend this year down at the beach house in Galveston. Yeah, I know, we are so lame, why haven't we gone before this. Life just kept getting in the way. Either someone was sick, or it was Prom, or graduation or the weather was awful. It was worth the wait though!

There was a lot of silliness, as usual.

We tried out the new boat. Unfortunately this is as far as we got. The battery was dead and would not take a charge. Poor Chris spent 2 hours going from store to store to find a new one.

We played with toys we hadn't seen in a long time.

We swam in the pool.

Fished off the dock.

We even caught some fish, but didn't keep them.

My Beach Boys eating. We did a LOT of eating.

All the sun and activity made for very hungry boys.

We played on the beach for hours and hours.

Everyone had a great time and the weather was absolutely perfect.

Busy busy boys, coated in SPF 5000, sand and salt.

The only downside at the beach this visit was that there had been a huge seaweed bloom and there were mounds of the stuff everywhere and in the water. It feels so gross to have that stuff tangle around your legs under water. Bleck!
We mostly had happiness and cooperation, but I won't lie to you. There were some moments. Seriously, how can such a beautiful child turn into a screaming demon at 2 am?
And the other little guy drove me crazy not following the safety rules. I swear I aged ten years when I saw him neck deep in the crashing surf struggling to stay upright just 1 minute after again telling him not to go in over his knees. That earned him the right to wear an uncomfortable life jacket at the beach. If that doesn't work I am going to tie a rope to him and anchor it on the sand. A very short rope....

You're gonna be soooo jealous!

Yesterday we went with some friends to a local blueberry farm. An ORGANIC 28 acre blueberry farm. It's only open a few weeks each year when the blueberries are ripe and ready for picking. They have many different varieties and they direct you to certain areas to get the best berries that day. We lucked out since we have 5 small children with us and got sent to a separate area from most folks. The man pulled me aside and told me the bushes in this section were lower to the ground and very full of berries. I think there were only 2 or 3 other families in that whole section. They let you eat as many berries as you want while you pick too. Yum! But the best part? They only charge $1.50 per pound. That is no typo. $1.50 per pound!

After a quick lesson to the munchkins about which berries were ripe and which weren't, we were off and picking (and eating).

I didn't realize blueberry bushes got this big, and these are the small ones! Everyone got their own buckets, well except for baby Henry. He just picked leaves and ate them!
Levi showed himself to be a Champion picker. He didn't complain about the heat either.
We all had fun in the heat, sweating up a blueberry storm.
We took frequent breaks in the shade to try and cool off. Even early in the morning the heat is a killer.
After 1.5 hours we had collectively picked 18 pounds of berries. These berries were huge, some as big as grapes. That was 10.5 pounds for our family and 7.5 pounds for our friends. (Numbers rounded for my laziness)
Off we headed to get our berries weighed and paid for, and pick up some cold drinks.
One of us was not happy. Any guess who? He wanted to be carried. Forty five pounds of sweaty boy on top of buckets of berries? Sorry son, but No. And what happens when you tell a very hot and sweaty small stubborn boy No? He metamorphs into McScreamy!
This is how he left the fields. Screaming his head off. I walked a way behind and muttered comments like, 'Gee Mister, can't you control that kid?' as the other people passed us. Luckily Chris couldn't hear me cuz of the screaming!
So what do you do with 10.5 pounds of fresh blueberries? I took most of them, sorted and separated them into 1 cup baggies, placed those in freezer bags and popped them into the deep freeze. They will keep up to two years. That was 28 cups of berries. Then I made a blueberry/lemon coffee cake for Sunday breakfast. And today I am going to try my hand at some jam. We also have fresh berries for munching, topping yogurt, ice cream or cereal.

Language Skills and RAD

I just read Essie over at The Accidental Mommy (http://theaccidentalmommy.blogspot.com/) and she brought up something a lot of parents don't know about RAD-ish kiddos. Heck, I wasn't even aware of the extent that my kids talking issues were really attention ploys.

I will explain what my two little guys do. One 'stutters' all the time. He will start by yelling 'Mommy'. He literally says Mommy hundreds of times a day. Impossible you think? I would have thought so too if he hadn't just said Mommy 5 times while I typed this sentence. Then if I say What, he says, I...I...I....I... and then stops. I wait a few seconds and he says Mommy again. If I say what he says, It's.....it's....it's...... This will happen over and over again. Sometimes he gets a few words out and then gets stuck. It is downright painful to try and understand what he is trying to say. I think most of the time he doesn't even KNOW what he wants to say, he just wants my attention. It is annoying, grates on my nerves and makes me want to scream SHUT UP......but I don't. (Oh yeah, I feel guilt for being so annoyed, but then I also realize that he gets a win if I get annoyed. He got the reaction he wanted. So I try and shrug it off and never let him see if it does get to me)

Both boys are horrible about asking the same question over and over and over again. And asking non-sense questions. Is this my cup? Is it today? Can I blu-blah-dah goo? Oh, yeah, the baby talk. I refuse to answer baby talk. I tell them I do not speak it and will not listen to it. That usually stops it for a little while. I will also not answer to a whine. I have gone so far as to stick my fingers in my ears and sing 'Lalalalalalalalal I can't hear you' when they whine or baby talk. That usually makes them smile and stop for a while.

The other little guy has volume issues. When we are inside and he is 12 inches away from me he has his volume ALL the way up. he has a screechy high pitched voice that can cut through titanium. He literally blasts my ears and gives me a headache! Then, when we are somewhere else he whispers and mumbles. This is the worst in the car. His carseat is in the third row, there are road sounds and engine noises and he WHISPERS. Of course I can always hear the cry of Mommy, but never what comes after it. Lately I have been turning on the radio and telling them I cannot listen to them in the car while the radio is on. That has stopped most of this. This little one is also the worst at the baby talk right now. He was at full tilt when my in-laws were here. He would climb in Grandma's lap, waller all over her and talk baby talk nonsense. Poor woman, he about wore her to death! Thank goodness she is so wonderful. She handled it like a champ.

We had both boys tested by the school district for speech interventions. Guess what? They both scored high-normal. They didn't do any of these things while being tested. That tells me a ton. One: it's elective patterns and not uncontrollable and Two: it's all for me baby! Gotta save all the attention seeking behaviors for those closest to them. I feel so loved.....

More catching up

Our newest family member, Buster! No, hes not an english bulldog. Turns out the female dog had an hysterical pregnancy, no puppies. So we did some more research and decided a Boxer was actually a better fit. We found a breeder with lots of good reviews and went to see the last 4 puppies. This little guy climbed into Levis lap, rolled onto his back and fell asleep. The puppy picked the boy!

This puppy LOVES attention, is very calm but still playful and is doing really well at house training. BTW - Levi is not naked, just has on short shorts!
He climbs into each and every available lap for snuggles and cuddles.
He even found a big boys lap to take a snooze in.
Levi laid down on the floor and Buster immediately laid on him and fell asleep. Poor Levi was afraid to move and wake him up.
And yet another nap attack by Buster. He is adorable!
Our latest batch of tadpoles, about ready to sprout hind legs. You never know what you will find at our house!
Goodness from the garden. Hopefully we can get enough harvested before the serious heat hits and burns everything up. Its already been in the high 90s. Ugh!
Green beans, straight off the bushes and ready to blanch and freeze.
Ready for the Fourth of July. Gotta love Old Navy. Each outfit, shoes and hat included, set me back $14.50.

Catching Up

An update in picture format. Things have been very, very busy, but also very, very good. Here is what we have been up to:

Silliness times ten. Loads of fun!!!

Last day of school for Little S. Including hotdogs, mustard and ketchup. Look at his face...

Ahren was loving it too! Loads of games and fun!!! (and hotdogs...)

The oldest kids had Prom. Oooh, aren't they beautiful!!!

Dang, I gave birth to that beauty. Amazing!!

Levi had his Kindergarten graduation/Celebration.

We learned that letting a 6 year old pick out his clothes for school resulted in THIS! (Yes, I let him wear it and I got a pic for all of you to see!!!!)

Ready for summer. These are MY beach Boys.

More to come......

Much Better

Things are much, much better now. The last couple of days have seen Ahren make a complete recovery and return to being a happy, silly little boy. He is finally eating the way he did 6 months ago and has way more energy. We had his post-op appointment today and his hearing is 100%. Yeah!!! He is like a new boy!!!

Now for a quick funny. As we walked up to the checkout counter at the doctor's office the woman asked us , "Name"? Just as I started to speak, Ahren jumped up and yelled, "Debbie!". She asks, "Debbie?" with a very confused look on her face, while I just laughed out loud! I kept saying he is like a new boy, I guess I just didn't know how new!!! I have been calling him Debbie all day.

Next step in the process of 'Fix Ahren' is back to the diagnostician for a round of follow up tests to see where his kidneys and metabolic processes are.

It always gets better

First, if you haven't seen Diana's post over at Gold to Refine, you have to jump over there and read it. It's called 'Parenting The Hulk' and it is pure genius. (http://goldtorefine.blogspot.com/) Seriously the best analogy of a RAD child I have ever seen, heard or read.

Now, for an update on us. Well, after the very-terrible, no-good, awful night the next day wasn't much better. I didn't get any rest and Ahren was still very unhappy. We got through it. I even tried Diana's suggestion of treating him like a baby but it only ticked him off more and he kept trying to bite the nipple off the bottle. By bedtime he was doing somewhat better and fell asleep easily. he only woke up screaming a few times and was easily lulled back to sleep. I got a little sleep too and I thought Friday was going to be much better.

Friday dawned and as usual I am busy getting kids out of bed, dressed, fed, teeth brushed and backpacks checked. Ahren started out OK but right before we needed to load up to drop the other kids at school he completely lost it again. I can't remember even what set him off. I probably breathed or something. Anyway, I couldn't get him calmed down and into the van. My hands were shaking, my head was pounding and everyone was going to be late for school. I did the only thing i knew to do. I called for help. I called.........his Dad. And I told him his father was coming home to spend the day with him because he was so out of control.

It was magic. The screaming stopped, he put on his shoes and climbed into the van. He was quiet until after I dropped off the other kids. Then, in the most pitiful, tiny voice he asked if I was leaving him. I told him I was not, that I would also be home, but that Daddy would be in charge of him for the day. I was tired of getting hit and kicked and pinched and I wasn't going to put up with it today. I love him so much that it really hurts my heart that he treats me like that, so I was going to have Daddy take care of him for the day. I was going to work on other things.

As expected, he was perfectly well behaved for his daddy all day and has been mostly perfect ever since. They enjoyed a very quiet restful day while I worked outside. It helped reset his attitude and mine too. (I love the outdoors)

Here is another thing I don't think some of my friends and family get. My kids love to have fun and go to parties but the cost to them later is huge. They look just like everyone else's kids running and playing and eating cake, but later that night it is a disaster. Not all the time but enough of the time that it makes it not worth having fun to pay that price later. In the past three weeks we have been invited to three birthday parties. We attended one. I feel bad about not showing up for our friends and their kids, but honestly it is about survival sometimes.

My in-laws are coming to visit. I adore them, think so highly of them and really look forward to their visits. I also live in fear someone will go all freaky-deaky while they are here and they will think we are crazy for caring for these boys. Hopefully, like most times we have company, they can hold it together while they are here and fall apart afterwards. I can deal with the freaky-deaky, no one else should have to. It's not like I can take them to the barn while they scream.....or can I?????

Ramped up RAD

RAD kids, as most of you know, do NOT do well with change. Oh no no no no. Change = Bad. Well the past week here has been all about change. Lots of change. First, Ahren had his tonsils, adenoids and tubes/eardrum repair surgery which also meant he could not go to school for a week. Daddy stayed home that day. Then, our beloved Nanny's mother passed away and she has been gone all week. Sunday was Mother's Day. I stayed home this week and watched kids since nanny was gone. All minor things to us but HUGE to RAD kids.

Little S has done very well. A little more clingy, a couple of infractions just to test the limits but overall smooth sailing.

And then we have Ahren. Yes, he is uncomfortable and not feeling well. I know that. I have given him lots of lee-way for that. But last night was an all-time RAD-fest of epic proportions. He went to sleep at his normal time. I have been sleeping with him because he wakes up in the night with his throat hurting and needing meds and a drink. Last night at 11:30 he woke up and the fun began. The next 7 hours (yes SEVEN) were a series of screaming, hitting, kicking, pulling hair, throwing things, spitting and finally this morning peeing on me. At one point around 4am I had to go sit on the couch and not move because if I had moved it would have been to go in there and beat his little butt to a pulp. I know my limits and I had reached it! Chris was leaving for work then and a few kisses and kind words and I was back in control. Thank goodness he understands!

I finally left him screaming in his room at 6:30 am and stepped into the shower. I could still faintly hear him screaming and could hear him kicking the door, but I didn't care. Go ahead and kick the door. Break it, break your foot. Both were fixable.

And just when I could feel the knots starting to relax in my shoulders, the screaming got louder. He followed me and I forgot to lock the door! I ended up just dragging him into the shower with me, still wearing his pullup and still screaming. I finished my shower, wrapped him in a towel and plopped his little McScreamy butt on the floor as I got dressed. I got him dried off and into some clothes and amazingly as the sun came up, the screaming stopped.

Today is going to be a very long day.

No sleep....

Ahren is doing pretty well but I am not sleeping. I lay awake and watch/listen to him breathe. For hours. I am insane. Super hyper-vigilant. Why? I don't know. I just can't sleep. On the good side, I have caught up on all my DVR'd shows.........

Ahren can't catch a break

In addition to all the other things going on with Ahren, he has had constant ear infections for the past 18 months. He has been on many antibiotics including a 21 day course of a strong one that tore up his stomach. He got a bad infection a couple of weeks ago which we started treating within hours but his right ear drum ruptured.

He has not been sleeping well for the past few months. Is it his ears? A new brother? Night terrors? He also has not been eating. He just wants to drink all the time. He has lost 6 pounds. Is that his kidneys? A metabolic issue? He has no energy. Is that because he doesn't eat or sleep or because of his kidneys or metabolic issue???? You see why I drive myself crazy? I can't figure it all out.

I took him to the ENT and we had surgery scheduled within a few days of that visit. His tonsils and adenoids were very enlarged and infected so they came out too. They also patched his eardrum and placed tubes in both ears. And, as if that wasn't enough, he had a small growth taken off the side of his face right in front of his ear. I am so glad this doctor also does facial reconstructive surgery because the growth contained cartilage. He had to remove it at the bone and then stitch it closed. There shouldn't be hardly any scar.

We are hoping that this will allow him to eat and sleep better, reduce the number of infections he has, improve his overall health and improve his hearing. (He failed his hearing test) So far he has slept much, much better the last two nights even with the discomfort. Of course there are some pretty good meds involved so we will see in the next few weeks. He is not in much pain, is happy and smiley and is doing fantastically. Much much better than I anticipated.

Now we let him recuperate and then go back to the diagnostician to follow up with another round of tests. Poor baby. I just want to hold him and never let him go!!!!

Guess where we spent yesterday....

Adopting Again!

Are you surprised? Us too! But you already knew I was crazy so this really shouldn't be a big shocker to anyone out there. What's one more at this point?

It all came about recently. We became aware of a young mother who, for reasons we won't divulge, is going to be unable to parent her child. She is just at the halfway mark of her pregnancy. The father is not in the picture. He left shortly after the deed and never looked back. He is reported to be a bit of a bully but that's all we know. Today she is scheduled for an ultrasound. We won't be finding out the sex until after the birth but we will know the important things like health, etc. Oh, and she is a very healthy girl. No alcohol or drugs.

The mother is not, um, how to say this, a great beauty. Actually she is a bit of a 'plain' girl. If the baby looks like her it is definitely going to be the kind of face only a mother could love. Now don't shoot me for saying that. It's the truth! She has a big underbite and kind of snaggly teeth. She is also a very stocky girl with a big head. She tends to drool, she farts a lot and apparently snores loudly. But she is a total sweetheart, very pretty on the inside!

We have been discussing names a lot. I think coming up with a name is the hardest thing. I am hoping for a girl and would love to call her Jenny or Daisy, but a boy would be nice too. I am partial to the name Drake for a boy.

I found a picture on the web of what I think our new baby will look like. Like I said, a face only a mother could love. I can hardly wait to bring this little one home!

Gotcha!

A Great Big Step Forward

Traumatized and RAD kids seldom if ever do anything nice for someone else. It just isn't within their abilities. Especially something spontaneous and without prompting.

When Little S came to us his history was that he rarely played with other children, preferred to be alone most of the time, and tended to lash out at others. We have been working hard on these things and he now plays well with others most of the time. He seeks out playmates. He likes to be with his brothers.

But that isn't the big major step he took this week. He got a trip to the treasure box at school as a reward for good behavior all week. Instead of picking a toy for himself, he chose a princess doll to give to his friend Mina because he knew she loves anything princess. No one gave him the idea, no one prompted him to think of someone else, he just did it from his own heart. I couldn't praise him enough. That is amazing behavior for any 4 year old, but absolutely outstanding for a kid like him. I am so freakin PROUD of my little boy!!!!!!