catching up in pictures

A face only a mother could love. Doesn't he look like a gremlin?

I caught him watching the Labor Day Telethon. Hopefully he didn't figure out how to dial the phone and make a million dollar pledge.
Every fall we do a really fun family activity. Our local mega-discount store will sell cotton t-shirts for about a dollar each. We load up on them, then using the same technique as tie-dying, we place rubber bands all over the shirts. Now here is the twist. We don't use dye, we use bleach water. Toss them in, soak until you like the color then rinse well.
Next, toss them in the washer and wash on cold with soap. Remove the rubber bands and dry.
The result are cool custom shirts for very little money. They are perfect for playing, sleeping in, and even wearing to school.
I tried to make this one look like bubbles.
Levi riding Buster. He isn't really putting any weight on him, but I thought the look on Buster's face was so comical!
Levi is my kitchen helper. Here he is cutting up celery while also wearing his ninja sword. Reminds me of John Belushi and his character on SNL.

Levi learned how to blow bubbles with bubble gum.

Levi learned what happens when you blow a really big bubble.

The re-decorated and painted boys bathroom. Much lighter and cleaner with the fresh scrubbable paint.


That's all folks!

The simple frustrations

My biggest frustrations in life used to come from my career. Screening hundreds of genes to see if any had an effect on the protein levels in a disease state. Screening knockouts of genes to determine if there were hidden start codons that could lead to secondary transcripts. Determining the copy number of genes in animal models. Trying to come up with something that could lead to a breakthrough treatment for a devastating disease.

These days my frustrations are much simpler and more personal, and yet in a way possibly more important. I always like to think that in ten years when I think back to this time, I never would have remembered one experiment or gene sequence, but I WILL remember the time I spent with my children helping to grow them into wonderful people. It would have been nice to find a wonder drug, but I am creating some wonder kids.

So, speaking of simple frustrations, the car rider line at the elementary school is at the top of my list. Every year, they hand out maps of the car flow, post signs all over the campus, send home letters and e-mails detailing the correct flow and even resort to hiring police to direct the flow. And YET, some people just do not get it. It's not just that it disrupts the flow, but it causes dangerous situations. The other day I was in line and just as it became my turn to turn left into the lane, a large SUV came flying past all the cars in line and missed us by a fraction of an inch. I slammed on the brakes, the kids all snapped in their carseats, and the poor puppy went flying. (Note to self, get doggy seat harness) The stupid SUV just kept going. (Little Wendy unleashed a torrent of obscenities and wanted to chase the &$$# down)

Then there are the golf carts. Yes, we live in a golf course community and the school is right there in our neighborhood, making it convenient to use your cart to drop kids off. But people, obey the traffic laws, don't drive between cars, don't pass on the left and for heaven's sake do NOT let your 5 year old drive the cart! I live in fear that I am going to kill someone accidentally. Oh, and if you have younger children, do not plop them on the rear seat without seatbelts and then charge off. There is one cart where there is a small child in diapers hanging on the back every morning. If that child slips and falls off she will land right in traffic, not to mention possible broken bones, brain damage or worse. I want to smack that father every time I see them.

The school has been begging for volunteers. I am thinking that a good use of my time would be to sit out in front of the school each morning with a paint ball gun and 'teach' the rule breakers and idiots a lesson. Kapow! I have just marked you as a moron. Bwah hah haha hahahahh.

Somehow I don't think they will go for it........

If you only knew....

I try and be a calm, patient, graceful person. I try and treat people with respect and dignity. I try especially hard with my children because I truly believe that they learn more from watching us than they could ever learn by what we tell them. (Do they even HEAR what we tell them???)

But......inside my head there is Little Wendy and she has a cruel mouth, a sarcastic streak and a bad temper. She never shuts up either. Her constant running commentary on everything is one part maddening and one part comical. Here is what she was saying this morning on the drive to drop Levi off at school. (Remember, no one but me hears Little Wendy)

Boy 1 to Boy 2: Stop that, it's annoying.

Little Wendy: Yeah, right, like you have never been annoying! You, the King of Annoying, have some nerve talking.

Boy 2 to Boy 1) I don't have to stop it. You be quiet.

Little Wendy: Be quiet? Heck, that ain't going to happen. That child is NEVER quiet. The earth would sooner stop spinning.

Boy 1: I can talk if I want to.

Little Wendy: And talk if you don't want to, and talk if the moon is blue, and talk if your tongue fell off, and talk, talk, talk until the cows come home.

Boy 3: Mawwwwww-aaaaawwwwwm, he just touched my leg.

Little Wendy: Oh for crying out loud. What a big baby. He touched your leg while sitting next to you in the car. Call the Army, call the papers, call the President. Wah, wah wah.

Boy 1: I can talk. I can talk. I can talk.

Little Wendy: But can you shut up? Shut up? Shut up? SHUT UP!

So you see, Little Wendy is really not a nice person. Now I need to go clean my house because surely CPS will be knocking on my door later to investigate Little Wendy's role in parenting this brood.

I call Do-overs!

Have you ever had one of those mornings where the best thing you can think of is to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over your head and call for a do-over? Yeah, that is my day.

It started out OK. Levi got up, ate, got dressed and happily headed off to school. When we got back from dropping him off I made breakfast for the other two boys. Bagels with blueberry jam (home made and very yummy) and sausages. Seth dug right in but Ahren declared he hated this food (which he doesn't) and proceeded to sit there with his hands over his mouth for the next ten minutes. Oh well, eat or not. The natural consequences will catch up to him later.

Then I hear the puppy madly digging at the couch and go to investigate. That dumb dog has half a biscuit in his mouth, stolen from Levi's plate on the counter, and he is burying it in the leather sofa cushions. While I am cleaning that up, I hear Seth say something about bleeding. Well, that gets my attention. I return to the kitchen and discover that he has taken the blueberry jam and smeared it over both his arms up to his shoulders. I blurt out WHY but get the 'I'm sorry, I don't know' response. When will I learn that they truly do not know why they do such things. I get him washed up. Ahren has eaten two bites of sausage and that is his whole breakfast.

I clean up the dishes, try and eat something myself, and ponder why oh why would a child want to slather himself in blueberry jam. No epiphanies come to me. While pondering this the puppy squats and pees on the floor in front of me. I throw his furry behind out and clean it up.

I plop the boys in the tub for some quiet and clean fun, and proceed to try and get some bills paid and letters in the mail. Oh no, now they are spitting on each other. I can see the tub from my desk so they can't deny what they are doing. After the second warning I drag them out of the tub and they are currently sitting wrapped in towels on different couches. I have given them the evil stink eye look and they are being very quiet. This won't last long, in fact Seth is now perched stark naked on the top of the couch like a little monkey.

Admit it, you want to be me. snort....

Feeling it

I have a special story to tell. One that left me in tears earlier this week. Unfortunately, the story is one that might hurt someone's feelings. A certain special someone who made our family possible by their very selfless-ness. I would not hurt these people for anything, but the story is so powerful, I feel I need to share it. So forgive me if this hurts. It's not intended that way. It's just a celebration of movement forward.

We have started using a brand new daycare center for the afternoons when I need to work. (Yes, I went back because the children I served didn't have anyone else) This new center is small, personal, and very loving. The perfect place for my traumatized munchkins. The first few days were a bit rough. Wild behavior, no idea what expectations were, emotions up and down and all over the place. The owner and director spent a lot of time with my boys. They understood their issues and felt it in their hearts what they needed. I couldn't have asked for a better situation.

Then, on Friday, when I dropped them off, the director pulled me aside. She said that Seth had told her how unhappy he was at his old home. Then he crawled into her lap and told her, 'But now, now I have a Mommy that loves me'. And I cried. Right there and then, in front of everyone, huge happy tears. He has a Mommy that loves him.

He did before, actually several times. it's just that NOW he feels it. I am so sorry for the other mommy's that he didn't connect with. They tried. They loved him too. He just didn't make the connection. But now he is. I am so blessed. This child is feeling it. That is the best thing I could ever hope for.

Grocery Shopping

As most mom's do, I do the major bulk of the grocery shopping and errands that keep our house running. And, as those of you with small children do, I do most of the running around with children in tow. But, as only some of you can understand, doing those errands with two small boys who have their fair share of issues becomes an exercise in patience and sheer determination.

So, this is how a normal trip to the grocery store shakes down in our world. First, I get my self ready, have my list, clothe bags and coupons and keys laid out. Now I have to get two boys to put on their shoes. Oh me oh my. They are both totally capable of putting on their shoes, but this one simple act can turn into a 30 minute battle. Shoes get torn off, socks thrown, there is kicking and tears and general unhappiness. By the time we all get into the van, I am already stressed and grumpy.

Next comes the battle of the carseats. Again, they are totally capable of getting into their seats and fastening the seatbelts. Instead, someone climbs over someone else and kicks them in the process, the seatbelts won't fasten, the carseat is crooked, etc etc etc. The van doesn't move until everyone is properly belted in. Safety above all else. Besides, I tried hooking the carseats on the roof rack but they scratched the paint.

Now the drive to the store. Mommy, can we have a surprise? Mommy, can we get candy? Mommy, there is a blue car. Mommy, mommy, mommy. They yell at each other because they keep interrupting each other with their non-sense jabbering. Someone is kicking the seat, someone is trying to roll the window down (they are locked) someone is tattling on the other someone. I listen to the radio and breathe deeply.

We have a pretty good parking lot routine. I get the boys out of the van and they have to hang onto my pockets while I get my purse and bags. Then we all hold hands and walk into the store. Seth goes in the seat of the cart and Ahren in the big basket part. If I need a lot of groceries I get another cart to pull along with us. Now the fun starts. I begin turbo shopping, moving up and down the aisles with stealth precision and a deadly determination. Along the way I deal with the constant double stream of jabber, the in-appropriate topics of conversation that pop up and make others stare at us, the super-loud voice of Seth and the constant whining of Ahren (he thinks if he tells me his butt hurts I will let him out of the cart) I have to keep an eye on the food because they are prone to mashing the food or opening items when my back is turned. (Did you know a 4 year old is capable of taking a bite out of a package of hotdogs, plastic and all?)

The check out routine is also pretty good. As I unload the items, the boys get out of the cart and then move to the sacking area where they have to stand with their hands on the edge. This works as long as I do not try and use the self-check lane. I did that the other day and Ahren began twirling all over the place, knocking over a display of gumballs. I kept reeling him in and having him stand next to me, but he was just too out of control to stay put. At one point as another woman barreled through, he flung himself right in front of her cart. I reached out and snatched him back, but instead of getting his shirt collar, I got him by his hair. Well, that woman gasped and looked at me like she wanted to smack me. How dare I pull my childs hair like that! Ahren, in the meantime, kept on twirling and bounced off another display case. She huffed out and I got the rest of the groceries and booked it to the car, looking over my shoulder for the police coming to bust me for abusing my son.

Again with the carseat battle, the jabbering drive and the fight to get mommy's attention. Unloading the groceries involves trying to get the boys into the house and stay there, don't let the dogs out because the little one runs away, try not to trip over boys with my arms loaded down as they plop in the hallway to take off their shoes, and fend them off as they try and eat everything I just bought.

What does help? Make sure they are not hungry. Make it as short as possible. Have a routine, like our parking lot one, that is never broken. Keep a sense of humor. Have a list so you don't forget something and have to make extra trips. Try incentives like they get gum if they do something, but be very specific about what it is they have to do. Just telling them they have to be good doesn't work. It's too vague. And if everything else fails, pull hair and buy wine.

Labor Day

Essie, over at the Accidental Mommy, wrote a fun post on Labor Day. (Labor, as in squeezing a small human from your womb, nothing to do with wage earning or unions.) She challenged us to write our own labor stories. Since I have 3 of the bio-type, I will make them the Readers Digest version and keep em short and sweet.

Kaytee: My first baby, the child who made me a mother. That little bugger went two weeks overdue and I did not know a person could be just that uncomfortable and survive without sleep. They induced me at 7 am and my body swung into immediate rhythmic contractions. I contracted like that for many hours, with the nurse cranking up the pitocin every 15 minutes like clockwork. By 6 pm (yep, 11 hours later) I was at 3 cm and they could break my water. Things picked up after that. Finally, about 10 pm, I decided I needed some pain meds. They called the anesthesiologist for an epidural but the 'promised to be there in 15 minutes' turned into an hour. By the time he walked in the door I was ready to push. So without an epidural, I pushed three times and my sweet baby girl was delivered. Seven pounds, one ounce and 21 inches long. She looked exactly like her Daddy.

Ashley: Two days before my due date I woke up in the morning and when I stood up liquid began trickling down my leg. I thought I had wet myself (not that surprising seeing as how a small human had her head firmly wedged on top of my bladder) but the fluid kept coming all morning, so we headed to the hospital. I didn't feel any contractions until about 2 pm. Then they hit hard and fast and although I again wanted and epidural, there just wasn't time. Ashley flew out, without time for her head to even mold so she had a big scrape and bruise on her head where it hit my pelvis on the way out. In fact, by the time I felt the urge to push her head was crowning and the nurse was screaming for the doctor. He ran in and helped me to deliver her body, me with my hands under her arms. Yep, I literally delivered her myself. I still had to pay the doctor, though. Rats!

Levi: At 34 weeks I ended up in the hospital with a heart arrythmia (mine, not the baby's) and very low amniotic fluid. Four days of total rest and then they sent me home for bed rest. I spent the next 3 weeks having ultrasounds every other day and trying to rest as much as possible without losing my mind. At 37 weeks, during my doctor visit, they noticed the baby's heart racing, then slowing drastically. They walked me directly into the hospital and prepped me for surgery. Levi was in a very awkward position, not head down, but with his head flexed backwards. The doctor pushed and pulled and even enlarged the c-section incision but couldn't get a hold of him. He ended up using forceps to finally snare his head and deliver him. (Chris was telling me what was happening and he announced 'here comes the salad tongs'. It took me until the next day to realize what the heck he was talking about!) Levi had some breathing difficulties so they kept him in the NICU for 24 hours. In fact, I didn't get to see or hold him until 8 hours after he was born. Poor Chris spent those hours running back and forth, snapping photos to show me, and trying to be there for both of us.

You already know the stories of Ahren and Seth. This blog chronicles their 'labors' and subsequent entry into our family. Of all my babies, Ahren's labor was the most painful. There are no drugs for that kind of labor, it was truly a 3 year labor of love. Seth, on the other hand, was a miracle baby. No pain, no wait, just delivery and joy. I guess I have had a child just about every way possible. Induced, natural, c-section, long ordeals and short ordeals, international and home grown, boys and girls. Each a unique and wonderful addition that makes us complete.

Random Tidbits and Ramblings

The other day I saw someone describe a person who yearns for older, simpler ways as 'crunchy'. Things such as pickling and canning were mentioned. Hmmm. I did a lot of pickling this summer. I am the recent purchaser of the Ball Home Canning System. I made jelly and jam and spent a morning picking fresh organic blueberries for my family. I love to bake from scratch. I want to get good at making home made bread, cheese and wine. That is a goal of mine. So am I 'crunchy'? I don't think so. I think I am more....um.....'crusty'! That is a good word for me. Crusty. Yeasty. Heady. Old....fashioned, in a way. I just like simple, true things. The blue of a turquoise and a spring sky, the feel of a small childs silky hair, the warmth of sunshine in the fall, the smell of fresh cut grass and a bonfire. Simple and clear. Smells, sounds, touches that mean something. Joy is in the simple things. That's me.

Last weekend I purchased a case of a super-duper vitamin supplement fizzy drink mix. I will not share the name because I am still trying it out and I don't want anyone to think I am promoting it at this time. This drink mix is loaded with vitamin B12. In fact, it has about 46,000 % of the daily dose of B12. It also has a lot of anti-oxidants and such. All things touted to be very, very good for a body. Normally I don't buy into the 'it will change your life' mentality of something that doesn't have good, solid science behind it, but in this case I had been reading recently about an inherant vit B12 deficiency in people/kids with ADHD. In some cases supplements of high doses of B12 made a world of difference. As in, no prescription meds were needed. Since B12 is a water soluble vitamin, meaning it can't build up in the system and become toxic, there is no hazard to trying it. So I bought a case of 20 days supply. Each day I mix up a bottle of the drink and I give Seth 1/4 of it and I drink the rest. I have had more energy and much better focus, plus I feel happier. Now I am well aware of the placebo affect so I might just be WANTING to feel something, so at this time I reserve judgement. Seth has also been calmer and happier, but we are also still getting him adjusted to prescription meds. So again, I reserve judgement. Still, I am encouraged. The past week has been really, really good. So good in fact we are having a little boy sleep-over tonight complete with a tent in the living room and a Wii competition. I never would have dreamed of trying this just a few weeks ago. Then again, I may never, ever do this again....we'll see how it turns out.

A Wee Gull: Ahren is a hoot. He is always talking about something and I rarely have any idea what it is he is saying. It's not that he doesn't speak clearly so much, although he has trouble with some letter sounds. Its more that he is so very random that I have absolutely NO context for what he is saying. The other day he began talking about 'a wee gull'. Now we see gulls all the time being this close to the ocean and all. Still, where did he get the Irish-sounding 'wee' part. Who knows. Maybe off of the Disney channel? Then he mentioned sitting in the front seat of the car. Ok, what does that have to do with baby birds? I am totally lost. Then suddenly it dawned on me. It was 'a wee gull' to allow a child in the front seat of a car. Say it with me, 'a wee gull'. (Hint: run it all together and you get....illegal) So baby sea birds do NOT want small children in the front seat of cars. Are you with me?

Yesterday I heard Levi laughing and the whirring of some sort of mechanical something-or-other. He crowed out loud how FUN it was to play this game. Huh? What the heck was that noise? I rounded the corner to find him punching all the buttons on my printer and laughing as the lights flashed, the ink cartridges zoomed back and forth and it made all kinds of buzzing, beeping noises. Gee, I wonder why I need a new printer every 18 months.....

Two weeks as a SAHM

I am now officially two weeks into the school year and two weeks into this SAHM gig. (SAHM = stay at home mom) Work is begging me to come back. Seems that even though I turned in my notice more than 7 weeks ago they have not hired anyone to replace me. That means they have lost over $4000 in the past two weeks from having to cancel therapy. So I have made a deal with them. I will work 1-5 pm weekdays and the kids will go to a new play care center nearby. They are supposed to be hiring someone and I will train them, then hopefully I will have more flexibility with my schedule.

This will allow me to work with the little guys in the morning (Seth is so close to learning to read, he is really motivated to learn. ) I will make a little money and have some interaction with adults. The care center picks Levi up from school and will help him with homework and I will pick them all up at 5 pm each night. That gives me time to cook dinner, pack Levi's lunch and backpack for the next day and still not be stressed out. I think this is going to work.

Now, to all of you who told me I would not be bored being at home.....you are soooo right! I am LOVING it! In addition to having time with the kids, I have been tackling special projects. I just finished re-doing the boys bathroom. It still had the nasty flat builders paint which showed every greasy fingerprint, toothpaste smudge and vestiges of the purple-foam kid soap debacle from a couple of years ago. I re-painted it with a durable semi-gloss in a lighter color, re-caulked the tub and toilet, put up new towel bars and tp holder and got new towels, shower curtain and decorations. I also scrubbed and bleached every square inch. Man are boys pigs. Little urine spraying pigs. Little trash-can missing, splat on the wall pigs. Little black ring in the tub pigs. I figure it will look (and smell) good for at least a day or two!

My next project is to re-arrange the master bedroom, clean out some junk and make room for the treadmill to go back in there. I have been taking the boys and puppy on a walk each day, but the treadmill will be my backup for days like today which are stormy. Wonder if I can teach Buster to walk on it? I think I will try!

I also have to admit that I have managed to watch the first 5 seasons of Weeds (the Showtime show) over the past two weeks. I am addicted to that quirky show. There is something so charming about a beautiful single mom who deals weed to pay the bills. It totally cracks me up. The only weed I ever have dealt with is the kind that I hit with RoundUp in my flower beds.

Man, What a BRAT

There is a phenom in the blog world where if you post something good, the fates will immediately and savagely reverse whatever goodness you posted about and cause you to beg for forgiveness from the Blog Gods on your hands and knees. It may or may not take much suffering and sacrifice before the fates forgive you and back off.

I should have known better than to post how well he was doing. The fates have thrown it in my face good these past few days. Wave after wave of awful behavior, each day bringing new and unforseen misery upon me.

He played in the mud then tracked it all over the house. Even on one bed, where I caught him bouncing on it like a small maniac in his muddy madness.

He threw his breakfast on the floor, then also dumped Levi's on the floor for good measure.

He peed where he wasn't supposed to, not once, not twice, but THREE times. He tried to hide them (sort of) but the smell gave him away.

He bit me, then bit Ahren. Tried to pass it off as playing and being funny. It wasn't. Funny that is.

He tore up several toys. Pulled the stuffing out of Levi's turtle he won at Disney World. Tried to pretend it wasn't him.

He ripped up some blueprints that Chris left in the hallway. Luckily they were old and intended for artistic purposes only.

He thinks it is hilarious to randomly tackle anyone who is unsuspecting and turns their back.

He ran out the front door when I was getting a package from the UPS man and refused to come back inside. That one made me mad enough I smacked his butt really HARD when he finally did come back in.

So which one is driving me mad? Pushing my buttons? About to get sent off to boarding school?

Not this boy. he is doing really well besides some ornery behavior that is a cross between annoying and adorable.

Not this boy either. He is always pretty good. A bit ornery too, but also adorable.
And surprisingly, not this boy either! The behavior modifications and medication are working wonders. We are down to one or two time outs and tantrums a day and they are lasting minutes instead of hours.
So who is it that is creating the havoc in my house? It's this one! I think he's getting back at me because I took him in for his little snip-snip doggy procedure last week. Man, what a BRAT!

Catching up with pictures

Here is a pic of the cake I ordered for Ahren's Gotcha day. Not only is the word butchered, it's not centered, the icing is full of cake crumbs and the exclamation point is giant sized. I am definitely going to submit it to Cake Wrecks, one of my all time favorite web sites for a good laugh. Oh, and I asked for brightly colored icing decorations. Nice squiggles, huh?

We made a decision on schooling the little guys. I was all set to fight to keep Ahren's spot in the public pre-k, but then we visited the school, met the teacher and learned about the curriculum. To say I was under-whelmed is putting it mildly. Why would I want to fight to keep my child in a class with too many kids, to learn things he already knows, and to be bused all over the place.

So we pulled Seth out, too, and I set about downloading a ton of worksheets and ideas from education.com. We had our first 'school' time this morning.
My goals for this year are to 1) teach them to write their names, 2) get their pre-writing skills mastered and begin writing, 3) learn to identify numbers 1-20 and all capital and lower case letter, 4) learn the sounds all the letters make, and 5) learn rhyming words.
They loved it and I accomplished more than they would have in a morning at school in about 15 minutes here. I am working on teaching them how to hold the pencil properly and to have good paper support. Learn the foundation first and you can build anything on it!
Proof that we have the laziest, most laid-back boxer on earth. If anyone is sitting or laying down he is asleep on them in an instant.
Ashley and levi entertaining themselves with the webcam on my laptop.
More lazy dog proof (I mean Buster, not Chris!) These are the only boys that take naps anymore around here.
I invested in a heavy-duty manual meat grinder. My original idea was that I needed this to make pickle relish (of which I now have at least a years supply canned and stored in the pantry). Then I got to thinking, hey, what if i used it to make my own ground beef? I watched for sales on good cuts of beef and recently scored 4 1/2 pounds of lean beef for $1.99 a pound. I ran it through the grinder and voila! Lean ground beef on the cheap. I divided it up and froze most of it, then a made a meatloaf with the rest. I also cooked some and added it to home made pizzas. Very lean, no 'pieces and parts' that can show up in regular hamburger meat, very low fat, and less expensive. I also used child labor to keep the costs down.....hee hee.

And more lazy dog proof. Levi is kissing him as he sleeps on the couch with his toys.
Lap o'Boys. Undoubtedly watching something to do with explosions or motorcycles or guns....
Who got into the powdered sugar donuts? It's almost supper time!
Cookie monsters. Too bad they didn't know these were healthy peanut butter, whole wheat and flax cookies...... And no we didn't adopt another boy. He is just visiting for a play date.

Goteha Day and such

Two years ago we finally got to bring our son home. It took 3 years of pain, tears, frustration, despair, hope, faith and undying love. By the time we actually brought him home I was so numb that I couldn't even feel happy or relieved. All I felt was numb. I have told a lot of people that he adjusted so much better than I did. I can remember just staring at him as he slept and wondering who was this child? Was i really his mother? Why wasn't I over-the-moon at finally having him home? Well, by the time he was coming out of his perfect-child 6 month honeymoon phase, I was finally feeling like his mother. It's a good thing, too, because the next 9 months were, ahem, challenging.

Here is what he looked like 2 years ago. He was almost 3 years old, but was still in diapers, still took a bottle every 4 hours and barely walked or talked. He was essentially a big baby. I didn't mind. I missed his true baby-dom and so I got to enjoy a little bit of baby Ahren and it was sweeeeeet!!!!

We gradually weaned him off the bottle, then potty training took place. I had to teach him to chew his food. How to take bites and not stuff everything in his mouth. What most foods were, how to use silverware, how to feed himself even with his hands. He was incredibly weak and his muscles were loose and floppy. I still remember the orthopedist flipping his leg up over his head with no resistance and gasping in surprise. He was a total rag doll. We started in on a diet of high protein and lots of supplements. Started lots of physical therapy activities, lots of stimulation and lots and lots of attachment work. I sat on the floor with him hours every day, carried him when I could and talked non-stop to him in loving tones. My face was the first thing he saw each morning and the last thing each night.

Now, 2 years later, I don't remember time before Ahren. I sort of remember it, like a bad dream. The pain is like remembering labor and delivery of my other kids. I know it hurt so bad, but the pain is muted and distant. I almost wish I could really remember it, feel it again, because it is what makes Ahren so special. We had a 3 year high-risk pregnancy. Not even an elephant can claim that!

So why am I calling it Goteha Day? Well, because I went to the grocery store and ordered a cake for the special occasion. I told the woman behind the counter exactly what I wanted on the cake. I even repeated it three times. Since english was not her first language, she had a little trouble with the word gotcha, so i wrote it out for her. I wanted the cake to say 'Happy Gotcha Day'. What I got was a cake with the single word 'goteha!' on it. I laughed and laughed. How perfect for the adoption that never could go right. i think from now on we will celebrate goteha day!

Oh What A Week!

Which should also be titled, 'The week wherin I needed more cuss words".

This week was many things, mostly crazy. No, not the kids. Actually they were pretty good! It was absolutely everything else. Murphy's Law played in there big time. So let me see if I can lay it out for you.

Monday was the day Kaytee was scheduled to move into her college apartment. Coincidentally, Chris also got a jury summons for that day. There was NO way Kaytee and I could move all her furniture by ourselves, so it was time to punt. Chris contacted the courts and they allowed him to re-schedule. We had reserved a small moving truck that we could load the afternoon before and return monday evening. Unfortunately, when we went to pick it up, the reservation was messed up and we were supposed to return it by 4 pm the SAME day. We talked the woman into an additional day (at a full days extra charge) which meant the next person now had NO truck. I felt bad but had no other options. We spent the rest of the day loading my mini-van and the moving van with 3000 boxes of clothes and shoes plus a little furniture.

Monday morning we were up and at-em early. Kaytee and I got to the apt complex at 8:15, checked in and headed to her apt. it is awesome. Way better than my first apt, heck, way better than most places I have lived! She and I spent an hour hauling tons of small stuff up 2 and 3 flights of stairs. (She is actually in a 2 story town-home that is on the 2nd and 3rd stories) By this time it was 90 degrees and 90% humidity. Chris pulled up in the moving van just as we sat down to cool off. The next hour we spent unloading the van (OK, cute story here. Our van was parked near at least 3 other vans. Those all had young men hauling their stuff up into their apt's. Next thing we knew, a crew of 5 college boys showed up and within 20 minutes unloaded our van and had everything in the apt. Kaytee stood there handing out cold waters and thanking them. They then came back an hour later to see if she needed any MORE help. They never once moved any of the other guys stuff. Hmmm, wonder why?) Anyway, by the time Kaytee's father and sister arrived, we were unpacking and organizing. We had a blast getting her all settled. What a fun (but extremely HOT) time we had. How cool is it that my ex-husband and wonderful dear husband can come together all for a child and work so hard. Those two guys worked together to build furniture and hook up electronics, like old friends. I am so, so, so lucky and so are the kids. All of them.

Tuesday I had to take Ahren to have yet another speech evaluation for the school district. For many months now we have been working towards having both Seth and Ahren in the school Pre-K program. Initially, Ahren was a shoe-in because he spoke only spanish for the first 3 years of his life. That automatically qualified him as ESL. (English as a Second Language) I told them form the start that he did NOT speak any spanish, but it didn't matter. Seth qualified, after much discussion, because there is a new rule that any child having ever been in the custody of DCFS in the state automatically qualified. I checked back regularly to be sure it was still a go. Then last week they decided that they needed to test Ahren one more time to be able to place him in the correct class. They assured me it was only a matter of which class, not qualification. So Tuesday afternoon we went to the school and he did his thing. Surprisingly, he knew NO spanish. Duh! The next day they called me to tell me he was disqualified. They apologized and were so very sorry, but No. We had already bought all the school supplies, set up a transportation plan, and gotten him all excited.

The worst part was that when we went to Meet-the-Teacher night last night,. his name was on a desk, on the board and the teacher greeted him. Even she didn't know he had been bumped out. He was sooooo upset. How can we send one and not the other. They NEED each other. That was part of the plan, to help their attachment. They need to stay together.

Now I am in a pickle. If Seth stays in this Pre-K program, I have to get him and Levi to 2 different schools in 2 different directions at the same time each morning. And Ahren has NO place to go. Levi could ride the bus, but the bus stop is 1.2 miles from our house and the bus come an hour before school starts. Thats a pretty big demand on a 7 year old. I hate to not let Seth get the free services he qualifies for, but then again his emotional well-being is more important at this point.

So I spent the morning going from facility to facility in our area, checking out Pre-K classes and child-care options, searching for an answer. I have some options, one being very good but still not locked down. School starts next Monday and I think only Levi will be in attendance.

OK, if that wasn't enough, Wednesday was Ahren's 2nd Gotcha Day. We plan to celebrate this weekend. He won't realize it is a few days late. Seth needs 4 shots before school starts (if he goes to the public school) and we had to cancel a therapy appointment this week to make room for the chaos and Buster, our puppy, got neutered on Wed too. Add in a migraine I had on Tuesday that left me in pain and throwing up and it was a party week!

I have not been sleeping. I routinely fall asleep fine, but wake at 2 or 3 in the morning and am up for the duration. My mind is just a whirlwind.

Three Days In

I didn't know exactly what to expect from Seth as we started ADHD meds. I do know that the meds are stimulants and if a child is not truly ADHD then the meds will make things worse, not better. Given that this was just a trial to see, we just kept an open mind and let things play out.

Well, Day 1 he was able to sit through two movies with a calmness he has never had before. Day 2 and the sitter (who I did NOT tell about the meds) spontaneously told me that he had the best day ever. Yeah!!!

Day 3 and he was calm and loving and focused on whatever he was doing. And now, Day 4, we had to spend 3 1/2 hours at the DMV trying to get Kaytee's license renewed and he was AWESOME! (Note: Kaytree's license has been messed up for three years and finally it is all fixed. Now how is that for Friday the 13th?) He really and truly was wonderful. happy, calm, patient, quiet, and obedient. I am totally amazed by the difference in him. He seems happier. That is the golden ticket. He is happier. The one and only thing that means everything.

We will still be applying behavior modification and therapy with him. Meds are not the total answer to his issues. But it does seem that they will be an important part of healing for him. They will make it possible for him to focus and attach completely. He will be way more successful in school. He will have more friends and build deeper friendships. He will be better able to cope. He will be happier. I couldn't ask for anything more. My dear sweet boy, you are going to shine!!!!!!!!

Better living through pharmaceuticals

I have spent the last 20 years of my life working on making better drugs to treat diseases. Cancer. Lung disease. Atherosclerosis. Muscular atrophy. Diabetes. And many others. And yet, I am not the kind of person who turns to a pill as a first defense.

In addition to my research past, I am now working with a lot of kids who have myriad diagnoses. Their visual issues are clouded by many other issues. We can help clear one part of their troubles, but not all of them. We see the big picture. The total package. We peel away one layer, but more remain.

My dear little Seth has some issues. Are they attachment related? Maybe. Are they inherant to his personality? Maybe. Are they ADHD related. Maybe. How do we sort it out???? We have been doing behavior therapy for a while and it has helped some. But Seth seems out of control, unable to moderate many things, and very unhappy because of that.

So today he started meds for ADHD. Very low dose. Just a small trial. And you know what? He sat on the couch and watched movies today, for the first time ever. Normally he would have interrupted the movie 20 times, bounced on the couches, spun around the room and talked non-stop. Today he watched and understood. WTH? My sweet boy watched and sat still? It didn't last all day. By afternoon he was again out of control, but still......that is AMAZING. I have such hope.

He wants so badly to be good. He says it all the time. 'Am I good, Mommy?' And I always tell him YES. you are the BEST Seth ever and I love you soo much.

I love this little guy so much. The more he needs me, the more I am there. Four homes in four years. A family that didnt work. My poor baby. He needs us as much as we need him. I love him so much.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

In two weeks I will be officially unemployed. No work, no paycheck, no identity outside of Mommy. I am PETRIFIED! Never before, since I was 14 years old, have I been unemployed willfully. It's not really the fact that I won't be working that scares me, I kind of like the idea of setting my own schedule and being accountable to only myself. What worries me is that I will be all alone in this new job, stay-at-home Mom. Parenting is the toughest thing I have ever done and now I will going it alone for the most part. Oh yeah, Chris is still here, don't think I am counting him out, but he leaves for work at 4 am and gets home at dinner time. Bless his heart, he works so hard to take care of all of us. But the day-to-day work in the trenches will be mine alone. Kaytee is off to college (still choke up every time I even THINK about that)

I met with people from the school on Friday to get Ahren and Seth officially registered for the pre-k program. I had finally gotten the official 'they qualify' call on Thursday so I wasted no time in getting them registered. Of course, it couldn't go smoothly. The principal questioned whether they really qualify and wanted to see some official paperwork on them. Well, heck, it has taken me 6 months of hard work to get to this point and all I have is verbal approval. So they put in a call to the head honchos (who I had talked to the day before and who had ASSURED me they qualified and told me all I had to do was go enroll them and tell them she said so....) Of course they couldn't get her on the phone, so we are still in limbo.

Then, if they do get to go, we won't know if they go mornings or afternoons until meet-the-teacher night Aug. 19th. Then there is the stupid bus schedule. If they go mornings, I will drop them off early at Levi's school (30 min before Levi can be dropped off) where they will be fed breakfast, then bused to their school. Then at lunch time they would be bused back to our house. But, if they are in the afternoon class, they get picked up from our house and taken to their school and then after school bused to Levi's school where I could pick them up or they get put on another bus and dropped at the end of our road 1.2 miles away from our house. If they go to Levi's school they will arrive 30 minutes after Levi gets out. Not sure how this will all work out. My guess, given my luck, is one kid will be in the morning class and one in the afternoon and I will be insane trying to get three kids on three different schedules to 2 different schools every day.

So people (men and women) who stay home, what are your tricks? How do I keep my sanity and still keep all the balls in the air? Can 4 year olds really ride a bus and end up in the right place or are my babies going to get lost? What in the world do I do while I am home alone? (The last time I was home alone I was pregnant with Levi and on bed rest. ) Any tips? Trade secrets? Sage advice????

I'm Afflicted

I have discovered that I suffer from an affliction, an ailment, a disorder, that affects my every day life to a huge extent. It is called Attention Deficit Mother-activity Disorder, or ADMD. Let me give you a synopse of how this disorder manifests itself.

Goal: Take a shower

Reality: Head towards bathroom but remember work pants are in laundry room. Turn around and head to laundry room. Once there remember that a load of wet towels is in the washer. Place towels in dryer, then add a new load to washer and start it up. Grab work pants and head towards shower. See misplaced shoe on floor, scoop it up and detour to boys room. Stow away shoe, see dirty underwear on floor. Scoop up underwear and carry to hamper. On the way to the hamper, see wad of paper crumpled on floor, grab it and stop off in kitchen to drop it in the trash. Notice someone opened a jar of spinach dip and then put it back on the pantry shelf. Drop dip in trash can too. Notice sticky spot on kitchen island, grab spray and a towel and wipe it off. Head towards shower. Oh rats, dogs are still inside. Stop and open the kennel and herd them outside. See water dish is low, get hose and fill it up. Head towards shower. Wait, where did I set down my pants? Search out pants, finally find them in pantry, head towards shower. See Roomba sitting in its spot on the way, unplug and set to vacuum living room while I am in the shower. See several small toys on the floor so pick them up before they get sucked into Roomba. Pride myself on cleaning the house while taking a shower. Smirk! Head towards shower. Oops, still carrying dirty underwear. Drop in hamper. Check to be sure boys are all still sleeping. Finally get in shower, get out, go to get dressed.....can't find pants.

sigh....

Child Psychologist and a Plan

It has been just over 6 months since Seth (I have decided it is time to introduce his name) to our family. Given his history and previous diagnoses, i knew we would eventually need to seek some professional help. I also knew that the first months would be a honeymoon period and that until he became comfortable and began to show his true self it would do no good to try therapy. Well, he seems to have hit his comfort level! I have also gotten to a point where I am struggling a little to be creative and ahead of the curve. Time to seek help.

I found a child psychologist near here who had a lot of experience with small children and trauma. Not necessarily RAD, but many related issues. I spoke with him on the phone at length (OK, that alone earned him points. He was willing to call me personally and talk at length, offering ideas, with no strings attached.) I checked out about 8 different therapists, but many failed to ever return my calls, or had office help that were rude and cold. Geez, like I needed to be treated badly by yet another person! So I made an appointment with Dr. R to start discussing Seth and Ahren and our parenting plans.

We met Monday evening. He works out of the top floor of an old house and his office has a full playroom and comfy, well-worn furniture. No fake plants, no decorator touches, no foo-foo garbage at all. Just a homey, relaxing environment geared towards kids. I could relate. That is the style of our home.

We talked and talked and talked. He was quite impressed with how well we have done so far on our own. He was very sincere and even asked if he could use one of the things we had tried. We designed a plan that helps us break down the attention seeking behaviors and deal with them with behavior modifications while simultaneously working on the emotions behind the behaviors. It is all designed to create a successful environment for him and to teach him the skills he needs to create that success. We have to get him out of a survival mode and into a calm, regulated, happy place.

The first thing we are going to work on is Seth's inability to modulate the loudness of his voice. He has one sound level....very loud. Stress on VERY. An example is that I will have him in the seat on the shopping cart and as I push it, his face is inches from my own. He will ask, at the top of his voice, some inane question, leaving my ears ringing and every other customer staring at us. I remind him to use an indoor voice but he just can't. I truly believe he has no idea how loud he is or what is sounds like to others. He seriously lacks the skill set to modulate his voice to the situation.

Per Dr. R., we have created a chart, using characters he loves, to represent different levels of voice and their appropriate uses. There is a green box around the appropriate talking levels. We will discuss the levels, act out the levels, record and then listen to the levels, and refer often to the chart. Finally, we will set up a reward system for the times when he uses the appropriate level of voice for the situation. Each member of the family is acting out the chart. We are outside so we use big, bold voices. We have a secret so we whisper very quietly. We will model the correct volume for him all the time. I will let you know how this works. I have great expectations.

We have many layers to the plan, but I can tell you that I wanted to crawl into Dr. R's lap and weep. I felt like someone really understood, was cheering us on, and had high hopes for Seth. I felt inspired. I think Seth can tell I feel that much better because he has had an awesome couple of days since then. (And I haven't even had time to implement the first part of the plan!)

Sometimes all it takes is a different point of view to shake you loose from a rut and bring new inspiration. This is a long process. Two steps forward and one step back. Progress comes in fits and spurts. Sometimes, all it takes is a fresh face. Thank you so much Dr. R.

Things that make me giggle

Those of you who know me IRL (in real life) know what a dork I am. Just to prove to all of you that I deserve that title and wear it proudly, here are some recent things that made me giggle out loud.

1) Chris was playing with the dog and called out, 'Get the ball, Buster'. Hee hee. Get it? Ball buster.

2) We have a new doctor at work. She is super sweet but her name is Dr. Buttz. I, of course, had to proclaim it a good thing she is not a proctologist.

3) In an effort to introduce the concept of hygiene to my boys, I bought them all small samples of deoderant. They think these are the coolest things ever. In fact, they spent the next day making the babysitter smell their armpits. I'm sure glad I didn't get them jock itch powder.....

Pity me, for I am truly the queen of the dorks.....

Musical Beds

A Poem

by a

Tired Mom

Come little boys and lay down your heads

Comfy pillows adorn your sweet beds

May sweet dreams fill your night

and you awake rested to the morning light

Darkness falls and all is calm

silence fills the wait for dawn

Then a cry splits the air

followed by another pair

I lay with one to calm them down

then switch beds - it's round and round

Go to sleep my little boys

before Mommy flips and burns your toys

Never once do they call for Dad

Can't decide if that makes me mad

They love me a lot and depend on me too

but when do I get to sleep in this zoo?

Ups and Downs

Like most things in life, parenting is full of ups and downs. In the midst of the generalized chaos I call home, there have been some bright spots.

We celebrated Levi's 7th birthday. This child is amazing. He started Kindergarten last year not even knowing all his letters. (He spent the two previous years in pre-school, but was adamantly against learning his letters) By the end of the school year he tested out reading at a third grade level. Yesterday he was playing a new Wii game and read the following out loud. "Metallic objects may be blasted by the Bounty Hunter fireball to earn bonus points". He then explained to me what it meant. He has also begun reading the funny pages in the newspaper every day and he understands most of them. It amuses me to watch him sitting in Daddy's recliner quietly giggling as he reads along. (Just like his father, I might add!)

Our puppy Buster started obedience training and is the class star. The trainer told me he is the calmest Boxer she has ever seen. Dumb dog fell asleep on her shoe during class. She was trying to show us a training technique to get a dog to lie down and settle. Well, he settled down alright! She was talking and he just slumped over asleep, head on her shoe. Too cute! (Is it odd I consider raising a puppy to fall into the parenting category?)

Ashley is coming down tomorrow to stay for a while. Yeah! Man I miss that kid!

We passed the 6 month waiting period to adopt little S and I now just need to get a hold of our attorney, pay the fees and get a court date. It had slipped to the back burner with all the other stuff going on, but I need to get on it this week. We will get a court date very quickly. Another big YEAH!

After 24 loads of laundry in one week I am now caught up! I did all the bedding, towels, clothes, rugs, pillows, etc. Every washable item in the house got cleaned. This is my way of trying to control some of my environment. I also super-scrubbed a bunch of tile and wood floors and re-sealed them. They take a beating and needed a new coat of sealant. Boy do they look good....for now anyway.

And one certain highlight of this week was the warm Ghiardelli dark chocolate brownies with a scoop of ice cream I had one evening. Bliss in a bowl. Sigh.....

Exhausted

You can always tell when life is getting the best of me. I don't blog much. I hate having nothing good or fun to share. I wanted this blog to be a lovely story of our lives, lots of funny things to share later in life and a wonderful memory of our children. (Insert rose colored glasses here) Unfortunately, parenting is not always fun, easy or pretty. Parenting difficult children, well, that just pushes the balance even further away from my fairy tale story.

So, the truth? Lately has been....well.....no fun. There has been a lot of screaming (OK, some of it was me...not proud of that) Lots of destruction of property (tearing up toys, mail, clothes, furniture). Too much hitting, spitting, biting, teasing, tattling and kicking. No respect for boundaries we have set, no respect for others property and no respect for the rules. Each and every day has been a constant battle. I want to climb into bed, pull the covers over my head and hide.

A few days ago Levi was at a friend's house for a play date. That is something we do frequently but it never fails to set off the other two boys. They scream 'It's not fair' and then proceed to pull out every trick in the book to drive me insane. (Side note: Here in Texas they call it 'showing their butt' when kids act up. I find that pretty hilarious) By about 5 pm I had hit my limit. I put each boy on a separate couch in the living room and I turned on the computer and grabbed the earphones. I told them they had to sit their quietly until Daddy got home. I kept a close eye on them and if they started to move off the couch I quickly corrected them. Well.....Daddy was a little late that night and they spent a good 30 minutes sitting there. That was the best 30 minutes of the day. I made dinner and got everyone fed, Chris picked up Levi and everyone went to bed early.

Ashley has been struggling lately, too, with her meds for hypothyroidism. We had added a second med last Christmas and she improved greatly. Then she switched that med from generic to name brand and whammo. She spiraled out of control. I can just see it in her eyes that she doesn't feel good. No energy, everything is a struggle, her weight is climbing and she craves sweets constantly. She seems very unhappy. My poor sweet baby, I hate, hate, hate to see her struggle. So back to the doctor, another full work-up and more changes in meds.

Still no info from the Renal unit. Turns out right after our appointment the doc left on a two week vacation and so did her nurse. The results are there but they can't tell me. They have to wait for the doctor or nurse to call me. In the meantime he is having another episode of increased drinking and urinating and has gone through two super-diapers and two sets of sheets a night. We have to let him drink to keep the crystals from forming stones. If we buy bigger diapers they gap and leak even worse. The best I can do is to place a super-night time feminine pad inside the diaper. That works most of the time.

Work is super busy. It is my salvation. I get to go talk to grown-ups, there is very little screaming (curious now? Hee!) and there is good coffee. But, financially, it does not make sense for me to continue with this job. In the fall I will be making barely more than I will have to pay for child care. Kaytee will no longer be here to help for free. If I quit it would simplify the logistics of getting kids to and from the various schools. I would be better able to take the two little guys to their counseling appointments and such. It really would free up my time for more parenting. I know what I want to do and I know what I should do. Too bad they are opposites.

Additionally, getting a college age child ready and off to school is HARD and EXPENSIVE! We have her classes assigned and paid for, parking pass, apartment move in date, new laptop, furniture, books, room mate, utilities and such all set. Just thinking about it gives me a head ache. And a super painful heart ache.

So, life. Kicking my butt. Ouch!

Ahren is like an onion....

Have you seen the first Shrek movie? Remember when he describes himself like an onion, full of layers? That is Ahren's medical issue(s). We keep peeling away at him and all we get is another layer.

History: he began to drink and urinate excessively in February. Took him to our family doc who discovered that he had protein, a little blood, and ketones in his urine. His blood work also had some abnormalities. we followed up with a 24 hour urine which also had some protein and unusual levels of other things, an abdominal ultrasound which was normal, and more blood work that was still off. We made a trip to Texas Children's ER and they re-ran the urine and blood but this time things were looking much better. Still, they wanted us to have a consult with the renal specialists at TC so we got on the schedule and waited.

Yesterday was our long-awaited renal consult. It was a very long day but the doctor was really nice. I brought in a 1st morning urine of his which always looks very milky. It had settled into a solid white layer about 3/8 inch thick on the bottom of the cup and clear yellow urine above. That got their attention. Apparently you are not supposed to have solids in your urine, especially not enough to make it milky looking or form a thick layer. They got another urine sample while we were there and it tested normal. Oh, and his urine has always had a strong, unpleasant odor, really nasty smelling.

Now, what was that white sediment? Crystals. Lots and lots of crystals. Of unknown type. She ruled out a dietary cause and a kidney malformation as the cause. That leaves a metabolic cause. (Which we already suspected) Her exact words were, "The primary cause is not the kidneys." Next step is to identify the crystals because that leads us to the answer of exactly what is going on. And the protein and other abnormal readings in February? Most likely he had some tiny kidney stones that did enough damage to cause leakage in the kidneys. I remember him crying because his tummy hurt and it hurt to pee. No one suspected stones. Now I am kicking myself.

So next step: identify the crystals

After that: see metabolic specialist to diagnose underlying condition

And then: see neuromuscular pediatric specialist for suspected tethered spinal cord

I feel like we may finally be making some progress.

Beach Vacation 2010

We had to take a vacation on the cheap this year. Five kids, my loss of income, the economy, and one kid headed to college all added up to vacation at our beach house. We invited my awesome friend Gabby and her two boys to spend it with us, which provided lots of entertainment for all of our boys.

We swam in the canal (carefully and with lifejackets)

There is still debris from hurricane Ike down there.

Cannonball!

I love action shots!

Beautiful girl.

This little man is a FISH! And totally fearless.

How happy does this boy look? My sweet little guy!

We pulled the tubes with the jet skis all over the bay. That is Kaytee driving, me spotting, and Ash hanging on for dear life.
We did lots of tubing. And lots of swimming, and fishing, and beaching, and well just LOTS.

Jet Ski Kaytee.

The area of the bay we go to is shallow enough for us adults to stand up in. That makes it so much easier to load kids in and out of tubes, etc.

Even though it was shallow life jackets were mandatory. Safety first!

Remember how I talked about how last time at the beach this young man could not follow the safety rules and ended up way deep? Well, I gave him another chance and guess what? He ended up way too deep. I had to run out through the surf and rescue him as he began to get washed over by the waves. The rest of the trip he had to wear a very uncomfortable flotation device at all times at the beach.

Kaytee sunning and smiling.

All five boys chilling and playing video games. When we needed a break from sun and sand this is how they unwound.

Oh, and lots of goofiness. Did you expect anything less from my crazy gang?

Ash teaching Levi how to pose with a tude (attitude).

Levi caught a fish! We put it back in the canal. We love to catch the catfish but if we are going to eat fish it will be in the form of frozen fish sticks.
More later.

Better

Yesterday was better....still a few struggles. But today? Today was much better. I hugged, I laughed, I gave out compliments. I thought out side of the box! Little S was bored and getting ramped up so I gave him a fly swatter and sent him on a mission. He tracked down flies with a vengeance and I applauded every move. He was loving it! I told him he was the best fly hunter ever and he absolutely beamed, not to mention he killed a ton of flies (let in by little boys who left the back door wide open yesterday)

I was still annoyed. Annoyed someone dumped red punch all over the newly cleaned hall bathroom. Annoyed that I only got to sleep for 4 hours last night, in 3 different places, and resulting in a serious crick on my neck. Annoyed that one child cannot eat a birthday cupcake without turning half of it into crumbs that spread over 50 square feet of space. Annoyed that I say the same thing each and every day and some children cannot understand the rules. Sigh...

Better. That's what I have to concentrate on. Better. One step, one crawl, one millimeter at a time.

Keep on huggin!

Doh! (Sound of hand slapping forehead)

I don't know why I forget certain fundamentals of dealing with our rad-let kids but I do. Oh wait, yes I do know why I forget. It has something to do with running 90 miles and hour 24/7 trying to work, take care of kids, cook, clean, laundry, bill paying, etc etc etc. Add in the health issues of one small boy that weigh on me and Presto! I am brain dead. But still, you think after about the 100th time I realize this I would start to get it....guess not.

So I had an epiphany this morning. It is kind of a chicken versus egg thing. The more stressed I get the more annoyed I get with the attention seeking behaviors....and the more annoyed I get with the behaviors the more those behaviors ramp up. Vicious circle of annoyance. So what comes first, the behaviors or the annoyance? Yeah, chicken and egg all over again.

But, I do know how to ramp this back down. I fake it until I make it. I act non-annoyed. I smile, I hug, I kiss, I laugh at the antics and refuse to get upset. It is hard. VERY hard. How do you not get upset when someone bites you in the stomach and claims it was an accident? Or when they climb on top of the shelves and attempt to leap from that 5 foot high perch onto the bed? Or when they bang their head intentionally into the wall, and scream bloody murder claiming their brother did it to them? (And brothers are not in the same room) The hanging onto a lie even in the face of incontrovertable evidence. The whining, crying, hitting, screaming, kicking, peeing..... well, you get the picture.

So today I am smiling, hugging, kissing, laughing and dealing. Maybe I can get the kids back in a groove before we leave for the beach house Friday (that is if a hurricane doesn't ruin our plans)

And people? The next time you see me being an idiot and forgetting this basic principle, please feel free to dope slap me yourself. I will thank you!

The ups and downs

Recently I reported that the boys were in a spell of great behavior. Well just like all things that go up must come down, so does the behavior around here. I know some of the reasons they have regressed. I have been working a lot more hours since we were in the middle of moving our office to a brand new location. Our dear sweet Nanny had knee replacement surgery and has been absent from our lives. The weather has gotten beastly hot and outdoor activity is severely limited.

So how has this manifested itself? Let's see. A shelf of keepsakes was torn from a wall, leaving holes and a ticked Mama. One boy has become an ever-present buzz of attention-seeking behavior. The constant nonsense questions, the demands to see what he is doing, listen to his statements and the cry of mommy eight-million times a day. i have to admit it annoys the heck out of me.

Then there is the LOUD behavior. Especially if I am on the phone or trying to have a conversation with my husband. We have had kids escape from the house, make horrific messes, and break many things. They have also been hitting each other, having many 'accidents' where they are hurt and blame someone else, and have 'accidentally' bitten and hit me. (Seriously, how do you accidentally BITE someone hard enough to leave teeth marks?)

So life is a roller coaster. I still love it. And I still love my family, every one of them. I am tougher than the RAD. Or maybe more stubborn. Finally that trait comes in handy!