In a Pickle!!

I think I am a throw-back to days gone by. I love to knit, sew, bake, and now preserve foods in old-fashioned ways. I had never tried making jelly/jams before, but my dear mother-in-law does these things on a regular basis and she is my idol. I just had to try. My first foray into jams was with the fresh blueberries we picked a few weeks ago. The kids loved it so much it gave me confidence to try more. yesterday I made Black cherry/ Grape jelly and it is sooo yummy! Not hard at all! I swear I am a real Pioneer Woman now!

Then there is my garden. This year is so different from last year. Last year we had a huge hot spell and drought and my garden yielded zilch. This year I am getting cucumbers in the dozens. A person can only eat so many cucumbers raw, so I resorted to pickles. Lots and lots of pickles.
Then my neighbor brought us HER cucumbers, some form a GIANT variety I had never seen before. Mine on the right, hers on the left. What the heck! One slice would be enough to cover one burger!! Then again, I couldn't let them go to waste.
Does anyone want some pickles? Dill, brad and butter or spicy? Please????

Spring Babies

Buster is a wonderful dog. Well ,if you ignore the potty training issues. He is still pretty young to train so we are being patient. He is just the sweetest, calmest, best behaved little guy. All he wants is love and attention and he is happy. Here he is hanging out in the boys tiny Sponge Bob stuffed chair. I took these two weeks ago and now he is too big to fit in the chair!

It's also the season for fawns. We are seeing a few, but less than in years past when the weather was nicer through the year. Still, I love seeing them!

The Reality Fairy

I have a dear, sweet friend named Paula whom I met during our horrific ordeal adopting Ahren. We shared the same agency (who was arrested and incarcerated while we were in process) the same facilitator who was undeniably incompetent, the same many-year ordeal, the ups and downs and the final triumph of bringing our children home. We became very close and I love her like a sister.

During our long adoption roads we shared many moments of good news. Unfortunately these were always followed by BAD news. The kind of bad news that brought you to a whole new low, especially after experiencing a high and some hope. Those moments were the ones that always hurt the worst. The low after the high was always more painful, more devastating, more soul-sucking. We dreaded the highs because we knew the lows would follow with a new intensity.

Paula dubbed these the hit of the 'Reality Fairy'. Each time we dared to hope, to believe, to think it might just happen, the Reality Fairy would sweep in and smack us upside the head and deliver a devastating blow. We would joke about the Reality Fairy, but we both believed and dreaded her presence. Oh how we hated that fairy.

So here we are, post-adoption and beyond the reach of the Reality Fairy....or are we? The last 2 weeks here have been wonderful. The boys have been lovely, no big rages or out-of-control behaviors. We are having FUN! Lots of love and hugs and kisses, all spontaneous and heart-felt. We changed a few things this summer. No Nanny, just a part-time teenaged sitter. I am working very few hours and spending the majority of my time with the boys. We do special things every day. Nothing huge just time together and it has been wonderful! We are all loving it!

But the Reality Fairy has not let go of us this easily. First the microwave door broke and could not be repaired. I ordered a new one on the internet and had it shipped to a local store. it had to be the same model to fit in the built-in space in the kitchen. We have been without a microwave for two weeks. That sucks!

Then when we returned from the beach house last weekend we found that we had no hot water. One heater sprung a leak and kicked off the other one. On and of all week we have been able to get one working. Just enough to have a warm shower now and then. Three times the repair man was supposed to be here, and three times we missed him. Five minutes and it was a miss and he wouldn't answer his phone. Finally today we got it fixed (hopefully). Cold showers are getting really old.

And then, the ultimate insult. Please don't laugh at me cuz I am devastated, embarrassed and ticked off. My van was out of gas Friday morning and in a hurry to try and get to work I grabbed a five gallon gas container out of the barn and chugged a little into my tank. I took off and got all of 200 yards down the road when the engine quit. I managed to direct the van into the ditch in front of an empty lot and called Kaytee to pick me up. I drove the spare car to work and called Chris.

What I learned is that, beside the 5 gallon gas cans he had stored 5 gallon water cans. I had actually grabbed a water can and poured it into my gas tank. Oh Hells Bells, this is not good., So now my van needs to be towed to the dealership for a full work-up and I am driving the small back-up vehicle (Thank God we have that!)

Reality Fairy, could you please not just let this little period of happiness slide? Did you really need to exact some Karmic balance and make me miserable in other ways so that I was not so happy about my kids being so great? Would you be happier if I go the kids to have some huge fits and maybe break a few things?

Reality Fairy.... I hate you so very much.......

Awww Poop!

You will thank me later cuz there will be NO photos with this post. On Wednesday I had a pretty short lunch hour and I came home to help the teenage babysitter feed the kids. (Nanny had knee replacement surgery and is out of commission for a while)

As I was cleaning up the dishes and such I noticed a brown clod on the living room floor. Oh that darn puppy! I was sure he had had an accident and I was not happy about it. He had just been outside! I went over to clean it up, which was right next to Ahren who was playing the Wii....and I smelled more than a small poo on the floor. I sniffed Ahren and my eyes glazed over and my face turned green! Oh No!!! He had pooped his pants!!!! Do you know how much poo a 50 pound child who eats LOTS of food can produce?

I dragged him into the bathroom and got his pants off, smearing poo all down his legs. Sweet. What a mess. As I began to clean him up the darn dog came into the bathroom, snatched the poopy pants in his mouth and ran. Poo smeared and skittered everywhere, with the dog stepping in it and adding poopy paw prints as he went. Picture me chasing a wild puppy, poop flying everywhere, colorful language also flying everywhere. (OK, my idea of colorful language is the words "oh crap', 'Oh Dang', and maybe the 'S' word. (I am NOT gifted in this area) I caught the dog, cleaned him up and tossed him outside.

I got Ahren cleaned up, returned the poopy pants to the bathroom and shut and locked the door since I needed to get back to work. Later that night I spent a long time with Clorox wipes getting poo off of all the surfaces in the bathroom. The dirty underwear went in the trash. I know when I am beat.

Life is a Beach!

We spent our first weekend this year down at the beach house in Galveston. Yeah, I know, we are so lame, why haven't we gone before this. Life just kept getting in the way. Either someone was sick, or it was Prom, or graduation or the weather was awful. It was worth the wait though!

There was a lot of silliness, as usual.

We tried out the new boat. Unfortunately this is as far as we got. The battery was dead and would not take a charge. Poor Chris spent 2 hours going from store to store to find a new one.

We played with toys we hadn't seen in a long time.

We swam in the pool.

Fished off the dock.

We even caught some fish, but didn't keep them.

My Beach Boys eating. We did a LOT of eating.

All the sun and activity made for very hungry boys.

We played on the beach for hours and hours.

Everyone had a great time and the weather was absolutely perfect.

Busy busy boys, coated in SPF 5000, sand and salt.

The only downside at the beach this visit was that there had been a huge seaweed bloom and there were mounds of the stuff everywhere and in the water. It feels so gross to have that stuff tangle around your legs under water. Bleck!
We mostly had happiness and cooperation, but I won't lie to you. There were some moments. Seriously, how can such a beautiful child turn into a screaming demon at 2 am?
And the other little guy drove me crazy not following the safety rules. I swear I aged ten years when I saw him neck deep in the crashing surf struggling to stay upright just 1 minute after again telling him not to go in over his knees. That earned him the right to wear an uncomfortable life jacket at the beach. If that doesn't work I am going to tie a rope to him and anchor it on the sand. A very short rope....

You're gonna be soooo jealous!

Yesterday we went with some friends to a local blueberry farm. An ORGANIC 28 acre blueberry farm. It's only open a few weeks each year when the blueberries are ripe and ready for picking. They have many different varieties and they direct you to certain areas to get the best berries that day. We lucked out since we have 5 small children with us and got sent to a separate area from most folks. The man pulled me aside and told me the bushes in this section were lower to the ground and very full of berries. I think there were only 2 or 3 other families in that whole section. They let you eat as many berries as you want while you pick too. Yum! But the best part? They only charge $1.50 per pound. That is no typo. $1.50 per pound!

After a quick lesson to the munchkins about which berries were ripe and which weren't, we were off and picking (and eating).

I didn't realize blueberry bushes got this big, and these are the small ones! Everyone got their own buckets, well except for baby Henry. He just picked leaves and ate them!
Levi showed himself to be a Champion picker. He didn't complain about the heat either.
We all had fun in the heat, sweating up a blueberry storm.
We took frequent breaks in the shade to try and cool off. Even early in the morning the heat is a killer.
After 1.5 hours we had collectively picked 18 pounds of berries. These berries were huge, some as big as grapes. That was 10.5 pounds for our family and 7.5 pounds for our friends. (Numbers rounded for my laziness)
Off we headed to get our berries weighed and paid for, and pick up some cold drinks.
One of us was not happy. Any guess who? He wanted to be carried. Forty five pounds of sweaty boy on top of buckets of berries? Sorry son, but No. And what happens when you tell a very hot and sweaty small stubborn boy No? He metamorphs into McScreamy!
This is how he left the fields. Screaming his head off. I walked a way behind and muttered comments like, 'Gee Mister, can't you control that kid?' as the other people passed us. Luckily Chris couldn't hear me cuz of the screaming!
So what do you do with 10.5 pounds of fresh blueberries? I took most of them, sorted and separated them into 1 cup baggies, placed those in freezer bags and popped them into the deep freeze. They will keep up to two years. That was 28 cups of berries. Then I made a blueberry/lemon coffee cake for Sunday breakfast. And today I am going to try my hand at some jam. We also have fresh berries for munching, topping yogurt, ice cream or cereal.

Language Skills and RAD

I just read Essie over at The Accidental Mommy (http://theaccidentalmommy.blogspot.com/) and she brought up something a lot of parents don't know about RAD-ish kiddos. Heck, I wasn't even aware of the extent that my kids talking issues were really attention ploys.

I will explain what my two little guys do. One 'stutters' all the time. He will start by yelling 'Mommy'. He literally says Mommy hundreds of times a day. Impossible you think? I would have thought so too if he hadn't just said Mommy 5 times while I typed this sentence. Then if I say What, he says, I...I...I....I... and then stops. I wait a few seconds and he says Mommy again. If I say what he says, It's.....it's....it's...... This will happen over and over again. Sometimes he gets a few words out and then gets stuck. It is downright painful to try and understand what he is trying to say. I think most of the time he doesn't even KNOW what he wants to say, he just wants my attention. It is annoying, grates on my nerves and makes me want to scream SHUT UP......but I don't. (Oh yeah, I feel guilt for being so annoyed, but then I also realize that he gets a win if I get annoyed. He got the reaction he wanted. So I try and shrug it off and never let him see if it does get to me)

Both boys are horrible about asking the same question over and over and over again. And asking non-sense questions. Is this my cup? Is it today? Can I blu-blah-dah goo? Oh, yeah, the baby talk. I refuse to answer baby talk. I tell them I do not speak it and will not listen to it. That usually stops it for a little while. I will also not answer to a whine. I have gone so far as to stick my fingers in my ears and sing 'Lalalalalalalalal I can't hear you' when they whine or baby talk. That usually makes them smile and stop for a while.

The other little guy has volume issues. When we are inside and he is 12 inches away from me he has his volume ALL the way up. he has a screechy high pitched voice that can cut through titanium. He literally blasts my ears and gives me a headache! Then, when we are somewhere else he whispers and mumbles. This is the worst in the car. His carseat is in the third row, there are road sounds and engine noises and he WHISPERS. Of course I can always hear the cry of Mommy, but never what comes after it. Lately I have been turning on the radio and telling them I cannot listen to them in the car while the radio is on. That has stopped most of this. This little one is also the worst at the baby talk right now. He was at full tilt when my in-laws were here. He would climb in Grandma's lap, waller all over her and talk baby talk nonsense. Poor woman, he about wore her to death! Thank goodness she is so wonderful. She handled it like a champ.

We had both boys tested by the school district for speech interventions. Guess what? They both scored high-normal. They didn't do any of these things while being tested. That tells me a ton. One: it's elective patterns and not uncontrollable and Two: it's all for me baby! Gotta save all the attention seeking behaviors for those closest to them. I feel so loved.....

More catching up

Our newest family member, Buster! No, hes not an english bulldog. Turns out the female dog had an hysterical pregnancy, no puppies. So we did some more research and decided a Boxer was actually a better fit. We found a breeder with lots of good reviews and went to see the last 4 puppies. This little guy climbed into Levis lap, rolled onto his back and fell asleep. The puppy picked the boy!

This puppy LOVES attention, is very calm but still playful and is doing really well at house training. BTW - Levi is not naked, just has on short shorts!
He climbs into each and every available lap for snuggles and cuddles.
He even found a big boys lap to take a snooze in.
Levi laid down on the floor and Buster immediately laid on him and fell asleep. Poor Levi was afraid to move and wake him up.
And yet another nap attack by Buster. He is adorable!
Our latest batch of tadpoles, about ready to sprout hind legs. You never know what you will find at our house!
Goodness from the garden. Hopefully we can get enough harvested before the serious heat hits and burns everything up. Its already been in the high 90s. Ugh!
Green beans, straight off the bushes and ready to blanch and freeze.
Ready for the Fourth of July. Gotta love Old Navy. Each outfit, shoes and hat included, set me back $14.50.

Catching Up

An update in picture format. Things have been very, very busy, but also very, very good. Here is what we have been up to:

Silliness times ten. Loads of fun!!!

Last day of school for Little S. Including hotdogs, mustard and ketchup. Look at his face...

Ahren was loving it too! Loads of games and fun!!! (and hotdogs...)

The oldest kids had Prom. Oooh, aren't they beautiful!!!

Dang, I gave birth to that beauty. Amazing!!

Levi had his Kindergarten graduation/Celebration.

We learned that letting a 6 year old pick out his clothes for school resulted in THIS! (Yes, I let him wear it and I got a pic for all of you to see!!!!)

Ready for summer. These are MY beach Boys.

More to come......

Much Better

Things are much, much better now. The last couple of days have seen Ahren make a complete recovery and return to being a happy, silly little boy. He is finally eating the way he did 6 months ago and has way more energy. We had his post-op appointment today and his hearing is 100%. Yeah!!! He is like a new boy!!!

Now for a quick funny. As we walked up to the checkout counter at the doctor's office the woman asked us , "Name"? Just as I started to speak, Ahren jumped up and yelled, "Debbie!". She asks, "Debbie?" with a very confused look on her face, while I just laughed out loud! I kept saying he is like a new boy, I guess I just didn't know how new!!! I have been calling him Debbie all day.

Next step in the process of 'Fix Ahren' is back to the diagnostician for a round of follow up tests to see where his kidneys and metabolic processes are.

It always gets better

First, if you haven't seen Diana's post over at Gold to Refine, you have to jump over there and read it. It's called 'Parenting The Hulk' and it is pure genius. (http://goldtorefine.blogspot.com/) Seriously the best analogy of a RAD child I have ever seen, heard or read.

Now, for an update on us. Well, after the very-terrible, no-good, awful night the next day wasn't much better. I didn't get any rest and Ahren was still very unhappy. We got through it. I even tried Diana's suggestion of treating him like a baby but it only ticked him off more and he kept trying to bite the nipple off the bottle. By bedtime he was doing somewhat better and fell asleep easily. he only woke up screaming a few times and was easily lulled back to sleep. I got a little sleep too and I thought Friday was going to be much better.

Friday dawned and as usual I am busy getting kids out of bed, dressed, fed, teeth brushed and backpacks checked. Ahren started out OK but right before we needed to load up to drop the other kids at school he completely lost it again. I can't remember even what set him off. I probably breathed or something. Anyway, I couldn't get him calmed down and into the van. My hands were shaking, my head was pounding and everyone was going to be late for school. I did the only thing i knew to do. I called for help. I called.........his Dad. And I told him his father was coming home to spend the day with him because he was so out of control.

It was magic. The screaming stopped, he put on his shoes and climbed into the van. He was quiet until after I dropped off the other kids. Then, in the most pitiful, tiny voice he asked if I was leaving him. I told him I was not, that I would also be home, but that Daddy would be in charge of him for the day. I was tired of getting hit and kicked and pinched and I wasn't going to put up with it today. I love him so much that it really hurts my heart that he treats me like that, so I was going to have Daddy take care of him for the day. I was going to work on other things.

As expected, he was perfectly well behaved for his daddy all day and has been mostly perfect ever since. They enjoyed a very quiet restful day while I worked outside. It helped reset his attitude and mine too. (I love the outdoors)

Here is another thing I don't think some of my friends and family get. My kids love to have fun and go to parties but the cost to them later is huge. They look just like everyone else's kids running and playing and eating cake, but later that night it is a disaster. Not all the time but enough of the time that it makes it not worth having fun to pay that price later. In the past three weeks we have been invited to three birthday parties. We attended one. I feel bad about not showing up for our friends and their kids, but honestly it is about survival sometimes.

My in-laws are coming to visit. I adore them, think so highly of them and really look forward to their visits. I also live in fear someone will go all freaky-deaky while they are here and they will think we are crazy for caring for these boys. Hopefully, like most times we have company, they can hold it together while they are here and fall apart afterwards. I can deal with the freaky-deaky, no one else should have to. It's not like I can take them to the barn while they scream.....or can I?????

Ramped up RAD

RAD kids, as most of you know, do NOT do well with change. Oh no no no no. Change = Bad. Well the past week here has been all about change. Lots of change. First, Ahren had his tonsils, adenoids and tubes/eardrum repair surgery which also meant he could not go to school for a week. Daddy stayed home that day. Then, our beloved Nanny's mother passed away and she has been gone all week. Sunday was Mother's Day. I stayed home this week and watched kids since nanny was gone. All minor things to us but HUGE to RAD kids.

Little S has done very well. A little more clingy, a couple of infractions just to test the limits but overall smooth sailing.

And then we have Ahren. Yes, he is uncomfortable and not feeling well. I know that. I have given him lots of lee-way for that. But last night was an all-time RAD-fest of epic proportions. He went to sleep at his normal time. I have been sleeping with him because he wakes up in the night with his throat hurting and needing meds and a drink. Last night at 11:30 he woke up and the fun began. The next 7 hours (yes SEVEN) were a series of screaming, hitting, kicking, pulling hair, throwing things, spitting and finally this morning peeing on me. At one point around 4am I had to go sit on the couch and not move because if I had moved it would have been to go in there and beat his little butt to a pulp. I know my limits and I had reached it! Chris was leaving for work then and a few kisses and kind words and I was back in control. Thank goodness he understands!

I finally left him screaming in his room at 6:30 am and stepped into the shower. I could still faintly hear him screaming and could hear him kicking the door, but I didn't care. Go ahead and kick the door. Break it, break your foot. Both were fixable.

And just when I could feel the knots starting to relax in my shoulders, the screaming got louder. He followed me and I forgot to lock the door! I ended up just dragging him into the shower with me, still wearing his pullup and still screaming. I finished my shower, wrapped him in a towel and plopped his little McScreamy butt on the floor as I got dressed. I got him dried off and into some clothes and amazingly as the sun came up, the screaming stopped.

Today is going to be a very long day.

No sleep....

Ahren is doing pretty well but I am not sleeping. I lay awake and watch/listen to him breathe. For hours. I am insane. Super hyper-vigilant. Why? I don't know. I just can't sleep. On the good side, I have caught up on all my DVR'd shows.........

Ahren can't catch a break

In addition to all the other things going on with Ahren, he has had constant ear infections for the past 18 months. He has been on many antibiotics including a 21 day course of a strong one that tore up his stomach. He got a bad infection a couple of weeks ago which we started treating within hours but his right ear drum ruptured.

He has not been sleeping well for the past few months. Is it his ears? A new brother? Night terrors? He also has not been eating. He just wants to drink all the time. He has lost 6 pounds. Is that his kidneys? A metabolic issue? He has no energy. Is that because he doesn't eat or sleep or because of his kidneys or metabolic issue???? You see why I drive myself crazy? I can't figure it all out.

I took him to the ENT and we had surgery scheduled within a few days of that visit. His tonsils and adenoids were very enlarged and infected so they came out too. They also patched his eardrum and placed tubes in both ears. And, as if that wasn't enough, he had a small growth taken off the side of his face right in front of his ear. I am so glad this doctor also does facial reconstructive surgery because the growth contained cartilage. He had to remove it at the bone and then stitch it closed. There shouldn't be hardly any scar.

We are hoping that this will allow him to eat and sleep better, reduce the number of infections he has, improve his overall health and improve his hearing. (He failed his hearing test) So far he has slept much, much better the last two nights even with the discomfort. Of course there are some pretty good meds involved so we will see in the next few weeks. He is not in much pain, is happy and smiley and is doing fantastically. Much much better than I anticipated.

Now we let him recuperate and then go back to the diagnostician to follow up with another round of tests. Poor baby. I just want to hold him and never let him go!!!!

Guess where we spent yesterday....

Adopting Again!

Are you surprised? Us too! But you already knew I was crazy so this really shouldn't be a big shocker to anyone out there. What's one more at this point?

It all came about recently. We became aware of a young mother who, for reasons we won't divulge, is going to be unable to parent her child. She is just at the halfway mark of her pregnancy. The father is not in the picture. He left shortly after the deed and never looked back. He is reported to be a bit of a bully but that's all we know. Today she is scheduled for an ultrasound. We won't be finding out the sex until after the birth but we will know the important things like health, etc. Oh, and she is a very healthy girl. No alcohol or drugs.

The mother is not, um, how to say this, a great beauty. Actually she is a bit of a 'plain' girl. If the baby looks like her it is definitely going to be the kind of face only a mother could love. Now don't shoot me for saying that. It's the truth! She has a big underbite and kind of snaggly teeth. She is also a very stocky girl with a big head. She tends to drool, she farts a lot and apparently snores loudly. But she is a total sweetheart, very pretty on the inside!

We have been discussing names a lot. I think coming up with a name is the hardest thing. I am hoping for a girl and would love to call her Jenny or Daisy, but a boy would be nice too. I am partial to the name Drake for a boy.

I found a picture on the web of what I think our new baby will look like. Like I said, a face only a mother could love. I can hardly wait to bring this little one home!

Gotcha!

A Great Big Step Forward

Traumatized and RAD kids seldom if ever do anything nice for someone else. It just isn't within their abilities. Especially something spontaneous and without prompting.

When Little S came to us his history was that he rarely played with other children, preferred to be alone most of the time, and tended to lash out at others. We have been working hard on these things and he now plays well with others most of the time. He seeks out playmates. He likes to be with his brothers.

But that isn't the big major step he took this week. He got a trip to the treasure box at school as a reward for good behavior all week. Instead of picking a toy for himself, he chose a princess doll to give to his friend Mina because he knew she loves anything princess. No one gave him the idea, no one prompted him to think of someone else, he just did it from his own heart. I couldn't praise him enough. That is amazing behavior for any 4 year old, but absolutely outstanding for a kid like him. I am so freakin PROUD of my little boy!!!!!!

Yes, size does matter!

When we were designing and building our home Chris would often ask me if I thought this room or that room were big enough. I could never 'see' the space in my head. All I saw was the shape on the page and that looked awfully small to me!

Fast forward to the treeless treehouse designs I purchased and which we are currently building. It looks rather petite in the plans, something I was worried the boys might just outgrow in a couple of years. I was actually thinking of enlarging it a little so they would be able to use it longer. Well after two days of hard work, the frame and deck platform are up and this thing is HUGE! The deck is above my head, the frame stands high in the sky and I have absolutely no idea how we are going to get the roof on that high in the air. It called for 16 ft frame boards, and that folks is just a little too tall for me to go scampering around trying to screw down plywood. I can lay the deck boards myself, I mean 7-8 feet up is not a problem, but the roof? Maybe I can rent a cherry picker for a day and dangle from it's basket to get the roof on?

Senior Pictures, Tree Houses and Sunshine

We have been trying to get Kaytee's senior pictures taken for over a month. The first appt was ruined because Ashley visited and decided to take some of Kaytee's clothes home with her. What she chose was what Kaytee had laying out, the outfits for her portraits. We had no time to find new outfits so we rescheduled. The next appt it was raining. And the NEXT app it was raining. (We wanted some outdoor shots so rain was a big no-no) Finally, yesterday was a go. I love, love, love this photographer. She is very gifted, has a wonderful eye, and loves to do things that are very original. A lot of the seniors use the same photographer and all their shots look exactly the same. Just put a different person in the pic and voila. I hate that. The last part of the shoot was outside. We took a gold brocade love seat out to a field of flowers and shot there. The photos were amazing. I can't wait to show them off. The funniest thing, though, was it was along a busy road and the whole time people honked and yelled and waved and stared. Well, except for the time Kaytee was in the van. No one noticed us much then. LOL!

Today we began building Phase 1 of our tree house fort. I have designed it in three parts. We originally wanted to build a pirate ship (had the plans for a year) but it was clear the boys would outgrow it very quickly. So instead, we are building a set of forts, connected by rope bridges and zip lines, that will grow with the boys. We ordered all the supplies last weekend and had them delivered this week. We started at 9 am this morning and are stopping tonight at about halfway done. Contrary to the opinion of the testosterone-bound dude at the lumber yard, Chris is NOT doing it all. I, with only the help of the boys, built the deck for the fort. I am one handy Mama! (Well, Chris did show me how to use the table saw, but that was all!) The directions are pretty vague and lame, so when it said to use 2 nails, I used three screws. Hey, this is going to get a LOT of hard use. Stronger is way better!!!!

Today had to be the prettiest day of the year. Sunshine with small puffy clouds. About 80 degrees with a breeze. Blue skies, green grass, happy boys. (Okay, very dirty tired boys, but still happy!) I wish we could have a hundred days like this!!!!

Deja Vu

Last night as I was driving into our neighborhood I saw our neighbor's two dogs standing by the side of the road. I stopped, opened the side door of the van and told them to get in. Amazingly, they did! I drove the rest of the way with two happy passengers begging for pets. I pulled into their driveway and got out to knock on the door. Our neighbor answered and knew immediately why I was there. She came out and got her two wayward 4-legged children. (They are notorious for breaking through the underground dog fence system.) I left her house with a big good-samaritan smile on my face.

Then I pulled into our drive, walked in the back door and found out that Ahren had let our Yorkie (aka Cujo) loose and she was missing. Now, this is a common event around our house. That stupid dog thinks she is a big ferocious beast and charges off into the woods on a mission to catch a deer every chance she gets. All 6 pounds of her. Like that is going to happen! i keep trying to convince her she is a princess but she isn't buying it.

So I head back outside to find our missing pup, whistle once, and she comes running into my arms.

Missing dogs: Zero

Wendy: Three

I win!!!

I didn't see THAT coming!

When dealing with RAD kids, there are good days and bad days. We have been having mostly good days, and the bad days have not been as bad. yeah! (Oh now, don't be getting all cocky there Missy, cuz the Reality Fairy is about to whack you upside the head!)

Yesterday, from the moment Ahren got out of bed, he was in full Rada-licious mode. He screamed, he hated me, I didn't love him, he wasn't getting dressed, he would not pee in the potty, he kicked me, spit on me, and tried to rip my hair out. I just kept lovingly putting him on his bed and letting him know that when he could be calm he was free to join the rest of us. (OK, I ACTED lovingly but inside my head I am allowed the freedom to be ticked!)

By the time 8:45 rolled around I was MORE than ready to take him to school. I got all the kiddos loaded up, strapped in and the van in gear and spent the firsat part of the drive wondering what in the world had triggered Ahren.

Then Ahren told me his throat felt funny, and as I turned my head to see him, his mouth formed a perfect 'O' and vomit began to spew. It was like slow motion. A chunky pink geyser that splashed all over him, the seat and the floor. The other kids began to gag so I quickly opened all the window and cranked the AC down low. We got the others dropped off at school and I got Ahren home, cleaned up and into some PJ's. He felt perfectly fine the rest of the day.

The lesson of the day? Triggers do not have to be emotional to set a child off. Sometimes just a belly ache is enough to send a kid into a RAD meltdown.

P.S. He told me later he was sorry for hurting me, without me even saying a word. Then he spent the rest of the night worried I didn't love him anymore. Poor little peanut. What a day!

Parenting and Giggles

Today I braved the grocery store with three boys ages 6, 4 and 4. Why yes, yes, I have lost my mind! Actually we had a plan and a mighty good one I might add! Ahren and Little S were to go into the big basket, one in the seat and one in the basket part, and then Levi would get a small cart and we would put the groceries into that. Only it started raining before we got out of the house so when we got to the store all the carts were wet. I wiped one down enough to set small boys in and we set off in search of a small cart. No luck. Well, it WAS a good plan! So Ahren had to walk with Levi while I put the groceries in the basket. The boys were mostly good. The only issues were of the extreme silly kind. There was no running up and down the aisles, no begging for un-approved items, not even for candy. They stuck with me, giggling and talking in loud voices. That was about the worst of it.

Then, when I was backing out of my spot, boys all buckled in, a pick up truck came whipping around the corner. I was already 2/3 of the way out but he still tried to squeeze past me. At the last second he stopped and I finished backing up and began to pull forward. That's when he did it. He pulled up on my rear end and revved his mighty hemi engine. Oh yes he did! (And this was no kid, this was a grown man!) So I did what any sane woman would do and I proceeded down the rest of the aisle at approximately 0.05 miles an hour. If I could have gone backwards I would have! Dude, I am a mother of 5, there is nothing you can do to intimidate me!!! Back off!!!! I laughed all the way home.

Today has been one of those rainy, dark days that cause the kids to go insane stuck inside. So I made up a new game. I called it a Scavenger Hunt and sent them all over the house to collect things. Things like a piece of trash, laundry, waste baskets, toys out of place, dirty cups, etc. Then ran all over giggling like fools and trying to bring me the most of whatever the item was. In the meantime, the house was getting picked up! Next we are going to do relay races. Races dusting, sweeping, putting laundry away, anything I can think of!!!! They are so excited!!! Hee!!!

Random musings from a clearly insane woman

Why do little boys stink so bad? My girls would get dirty and sweaty but they didn't smell. My boys? Yikes! After a long day playing hard and being outside I can smell them across the room. I have to wash their hair twice just to get it smelling really fresh. I bought four bottles of body wash/shampoo on sale the other day and it will only last a few weeks. Should I feed them charcoal or spray them with febreeze or what???? (Kidding.....unless you think it would work)

When attempting to take a 3 minute shower, it is really a good idea to take the cap off of the razor before trying to shave ones armpits. It is really more affective that way. I'm just saying.

A high school senior can spend the equivalent of a year of college tuition just getting ready to graduate so that they can get to college. Prom and graduation are right around the corner and the money hemorrhaging is in full swing. At this point she is going to get a gift card to the local coffee house for her gift cuz that's all I can afford! (I can see Kaytee's face when she reads that! Hilarious!!!)

Leaving a bottle of prescription eye drops on the kitchen counter is apparently an invitation for small booger boys to take it and empty it, leaving one without any medicine for a goopy eye.

Latest thing that is working great with Little S. The other day when he was upset and told me he didn't want to live here any more I told him I was sorry but he was stuck. Stuck with me forever. Ever since then he has asked me fifty times a day if he is stuck, and then smiles and hug-hug-hugs me when I tell him yes. I make it out like it's out of my control and we just have to learn to like it, but we are doing great so that's not a problem! Ahren tells him he is stuck, too and he just loves it. Seems like my best ideas are really accidental!

Still getting more tests on Ahren. More scheduled for today and next week. I thought it took a long time to get him adopted and home to us, but diagnosing him might just take as long! Right now he is having good days and slightly bad days. The bad days he is just extra tired, his blood sugar is low and he is spilling ketones which means his body is digesting muscle for fuel. It's not at serious levels so we are stable.

Ahren cannot drink from a cup without a lid. He spills it almost every time. He has been falling down a lot again too. Just standing there and he keels over. He has fallen out of his chair three times this week. I can't tell if he is just weak from whatever is going on or if he is just clumsy. He has a funny walk, too. His flat feet slap down on the ground, turn in slightly and he kind of shuffles. More muscle signs? Or is he just a goof? Well, I know he is a goof, but is there more?

This weekend sucks

The kids have been sick so I have had very little sleep. I am up from 1 to 4 daily I have been trying to accomplish all the outdoor work too. Exhausting. But the sleepless nights are killing me. I am spent. Out of it. Gone. Wah!!!!

Adoption Failure

A story about adoption failure began to surface this week all over the world. Like most adoption stories, it started with the simplest of wishes...to parent a child. A single woman, a nurse, adopted a 7 year old boy from Russia. She and her mother travelled in September to bring him home to the US. The mother and grandmother were prepared to love this boy. What they didn't know is that adopting an older child, especially one from the orphanage system, can (not always!) mean the child has suffered many traumas. Neglect, abandonment, abuse, hunger, and many more unimaginable things.

The boy, who they renamed Justin, began exhibiting behavioral issues in January (according to the articles I have seen). Hitting, spitting, screaming, threats. Violence sparked by trying to correct him or tell him no. The family felt unable to handle this child, so they made arrangements to return him to Russia. They put him on a plane along with a letter, and had a man pick him up at the airport and drop him off at the offices that oversee adoptions.

I am still trying to process this. There is no way we are getting all the information in these news stories. Did they seek help? Was there even time in that Jan-April time frame to get help? Did they contact their agency, home study social worker or even the local DFCS offices? Were they turned away? Did the judge in Russia tell the family that if they didn't want him they had to return him to Russia?

The Russian government is using this story to it's fullest to crucify the US. They want to shut down all US adoptions, blame US families for all the problems, etc etc. No part of the blame is theirs....and yet. Who runs these orphanages that care so poorly for the children that they end up horribly traumatized? Who sets the rules as to what info the adoptive families can receive? Who fails to educate the adoptive families on what issues the children might have? Who should be there to provide support when the families are struggling to parent these traumatized children????

There is so much blame, plenty to go around. The truth is that everyone failed this child. Everyone.

As the new parent to a child that came from an adoption disruption, I know what help his old family sought. I know how hard they worked and all the resources they sought out. In the end, although it was a horrifically difficult thing to do, they came to the decision that finding a different home for him was the best thing. The best for him. (Thank goodness they cared enough to do this instead of putting him on a plane) They carefully researched and sought help to find a new family. We are so blessed they chose us. Little S is a true joy. Yes he has issues. But they are issues we are well aware of and prepared to handle. Issues we have experience with. We know how to take advantage of resources, where to turn for assistance, who to call to talk us off the ledge at times.

When we filed to adopt internationally, we had to sign government paperwork that swore that we would love, care for and treat the adopted child just as we would any biological child. That the child would be afforded every right and privilege of a US citizen. That we, his adoptive family, would assume all responsibility for this child FOREVER. We took that pledge very seriously. All parenting should be taken very seriously, but when you choose to parent a child that has already suffered at least one loss (birth family), then your responsibility is even greater.

So in the end, I do blame the adoptive family for the ending of the story (only the ending). I blame them for not caring enough to find him a suitable home. For not trying for more than 2 months to identify and seek help for him. I blame them for not educating themselves before they brought him home on what issues he might have. Did they really think if they put him on that plane that the problems would all just go away for them? What about him? Did they ever consider what this act would do to him, his future, his fragile emotional state? No, I don't think they did. I think this was a terribly selfish act on their part. And we all know that true parenting cannot be selfish. Ever.

Random updates and such

This week we had three doctors appointments, one for Little S who has an ear infection, and two for Ahren. One of his was to get the latest test results and the other was to meet with a pediatric diagnostician. The time we spent with her (90 minutes!) was wonderful. She looked through all the test results we have so far, was able to rule out a bunch of scary stuff and give us a lot of re-assurance. She is focusing her thoughts on two of the abnormal test results. The low blood sugar and the protein in the urine. We have more tests scheduled and then meet with her again. I feel like we are finally getting some traction on this. Once we get an answer to that, she is going to look at the low muscle tone and low creatinine in his blood (a marker for muscle mass). Since he also has ketones in his urine, which means his muscles are breaking down, she wants to look at that too. She thinks it is unrelated to the other issue, and can take a back-burner for now. But it's still there in her mind.

I took Little S and Ahren for Early Childhood Intervention testing at the school district offices Tuesday morning. My goal was to get them into the pre-K Head Start classes. (Free, five days a week school) They both qualified!!! Yahoo! Not because they have any huge issues or anything, but Little S qualifies because he was once in CPS custody and Ahren because he is considered ESL (english as a second language). OK, ESL is a bit of a stretch since he doesn't speak any spanish anymore, but they loved his story and wanted to keep the boys together. Oh, and they both failed their hearing tests. Little S because we found out he had a double ear infection and Ahren because he just sat there like a lump ignoring the tones in his ears! When they retested him he passed just fine, after a bunch of coaching and encouragement.

Today after I picked Levi up from school he began talking to God in the car. He told God he wanted him to put another baby just like him in my tummy. But God, be sure it's a boy-Levi and not a girl-Levi! We often talk about God in the car. That and who he is going to marry. Seriously, that has been a HUGE topic of conversation lately. Who to marry. Yikes!

Tomorrow we have Kaytee's senior portraits scheduled. First some in the studio and then some on location. I can't wait to see how they turn out. I still can't believe she is graduating. I want to squeeze her and keep her little!!!!! I guess it's a little late for that. Wah!

I need about a week to get all the outdoor work completed to get our landscaping in shape. We got a lot more freezing weather this year than is normal and lost a lot of plants. Even covering them wasn't enough. I need about 3 dump truck loads of mulch (thank goodness for the tractor to move it all around) and have enough weed and feed for 25,000 square feet of lawn to put down. Then there is the on-going battle against fire ants. For those of you who don't know the agony of fire ants, they are very aggressive ants that bite and hurt like crazy. They swarm your feet (or whatever body part happens to be in contact with the ground) and then all begin biting at once, biting over and over again. The bites turn into painful pustules by the next day. There is no love around these here parts for the ants o'fire. Poor Ahren got them in his pants recently and oh boy was that awful! They even got in his underpants. That's an owie even a Mommy can't kiss!

Tidbits

We had a lovely three-day weekend. It hit 90 degrees here on Saturday and those of us that are pigmentally challenged got a bit of a sunburn! Ahren, on the other hand, is turning cocoa brown. Yum! I love his skin. So beautiful! Little S is going to be tan too, but I think his hair will lighten up in the sun. Levi....well, we have lots of sunscreen!

The boys and I spent most of the day Saturday getting the garden planted. This year we added blueberry bushes, blackberry vines, two kinds of orange trees, pecan trees, and a lemon tree. This weekend we planted our tomatoes, cucumbers, peas, beans and watermelon. I kept it simple this year and just planted what I know we would eat. Kaytee and I will eat most of the veggies, but i plan on fixing lots of fresh veggies for the boys (including the big boy, Chris) in lots of interesting ways to see if I can hook them. I mean, who doesn't love fresh sugar snap peas?

I am heading in to pick up more of Ahren's test results this morning and have another appt for him Thursday. This morning when he got up I took him to the potty and he peed what looked like milk. Thick and white. That's the level of protein he is still spilling in his urine. He can't go on like that, it's not healthy. I wish we could get some answers once and for all!

Yesterday Little S was driving me absolutely bonkers with the constant non-sense questions. Is this my cup? Is my tongue bleeding? Is it today? After one more wake up will it be today? I remembered something I read, probably on Christine's site, about setting a limit on questions and when they have used them up, not answering any more. So I wrote twenty marks on the board and told him he had twenty questions. When the marks were all gone I could not answer any more questions for the day, no matter how important they were. Well, he thought that was a hoot and proceeded to ask silly non-sense questions just as fast as he could think of them. In fact, when he couldn't think of one he just asked the same questions again! I kept reminding him that when they were gone that was it. Well it took him about 3 minutes (seriously) to ask all twenty. Then every time after that he asked a question, I acted like the automated Fortune Teller in the carnival and answered. "I'm sorry. I cannot answer that. Please try again tomorrow". I have to admit I had a lot of fun acting like that goofy machine and you know what? The questions stopped! And they stopped with smiles all around.

Shout Out to the Allen Family

Teri, and the whole Allen Family sent a huge package of glasses for out Glasses for Guats campaign. Dr. M is heading down in May and Dr. W is going later in the summer. They see an average of 200 patients each trip, handing out glasses, looking for disease and making arrangements for follow up with other volunteer medical teams.

Thanks Allen Family!!!!!!!

Oh Internets, Help Me?

I have an issue with Little S that has stumped me. Everything I have tried is not working. It's pretty sensitive and somewhat embarrassing, but I need help!

Little S is fixated on behinds. Nakey butts. Bohonkuses. He talks about them. (I say 'No bathroom talk!') He drops his pants and shows his bottom to others (Oh no you don't!). He taunts and teases, showing his behind. (He is told NO very firmly) He touches and pats and punches and slaps my behind constantly. I tell him how much I do not like it. I tell him over and over again. It makes me uncomfortable. But the worst? He wants to rub his behind on me. It seems he does this mostly when he is trying to get my attention. I hate it! He knows I hate it. He still does it. Maybe just BECAUSE he knows it bothers me.

How do I deal with this? Help!