Sweet Fall Days

Chris took Levi to the deer lease this weekend for some exploring and fun before hunting season actually starts. They left really early this morning. Kaytee is working at a cheer clinic fro little girls all day. Ahren went with me to give a guest lecture at the local community college and then we have been playing and relaxing. He was a perfect angel while I talked, sitting quietly for over an hour and playing his handheld game system and eating snacks. Oh, and FLIRTING with girls in the class. He was a huge hit!

Last week I was on my way home from dropping Levi at school when I saw something on the side of the road. i stopped to get a closer look and found a gigantic turtle. His (her?) shell measured almost 14 inches long front to back. I picked him up and put him in my van and hurried home. I was pretty sure he was an aquatic turtle so I took him out to the pond and set him on the grassy edge. Sure enough, he poked his head out of his shell, and then scrambled into the water. We see him every now and then, floating in the middle. He joins out other 2 turtles, but is by far the largest one.

What better way to spend a lazy weekend morning than snuggled on the couch watching a movie in 3 D. 
I found the best dessert ever. Very sweet and totally yummy too. I call it "Boyz in Bowlz". Don't you just want to eat them up? (Seriously, I have no clue why they thought this was such fun, but no bowls were harmed in the adventure so why not???)
Ahren, show me a smile. Ahren, smile? Come on sweetie, just a little smile? Please? Oh well, at least you aren't making that bizarre pained-looking fake grin! (He smiled as soon as I snapped the picture.....)
I love bargains. Especially really good bargains on really good quality kid's stuff. This summer I caught a big sale at Gymboree and got a lot of school clothes and dress up clothes for the boys. I earned something they call Gym Bucks, which I had never used before. My thoughts being, hey, I just bought everything I needed so why should I come back in two months to spend more money just to use this? By chance, I happened to look on-line during the period you could redeem them and I found a bunch of stuff in the clearance section that I could stock up on. I worked it so I just barely used all my coupons, didn't have to pay shipping and got the most bang for my buck. 

So here is my booty, 10 pairs of underwear (next size for both boys) 16 pairs socks, 1 pair dress pants (Ahren), two sweaters and three heavy rugby shirts. My cost? $109.00 These are clothes that can last. The shirts and sweaters will probably get 3 years of use. They are a bit big on Levi now and Ahren can grow into them. The underwear and socks hold up better than the ones I usually buy so we will get probably a year of wear for both boys. Besides, they have such cute stuff!!!

Fifteen Minutes

Fifteen minutes. Such a tiny amount of time in the whole realm of things. And yet, it can be a powerful, productive, even important bit of time. I lose track of such things because I tend to be a big-picture kind of person. I look for the grand gesture and miss the tiny miracles. So today I am focusing on fifteen minutes. 

Fifteen Minutes:

1) the amount of time I tickled Ahren's back while he fell asleep at nap time. Oh how soft and smooth his skin is, and the most luscious color! I want to eat him up. Is there anything sweeter than a sleeping child?

2) the number of minutes it takes to drop off 900 children, in an orderly fashion, at my son's school. It blows my mind that this is even possible. I would not believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. One bus drop off point and one car-rider line, no chaos.

3) the length of time it takes me to get ready and out the door, looking passably presentable. Now that is a miracle (and anyone who wants to burst my bubble about the presentable part? Go away!)

4) the number of minutes it took for me to mail a package of hand-me-down clothes to a child who I have never actually met but who has captured my heart.  Here's to the Brave Hero and his wonderful family!

5) the length of conversation I had today with my dear, sweet friend Gabby.  Oh how that girl can make me laugh. If she only knew I have incontinence problems after several birthing experiences.....

6) how long it took me to pack Levi's bag to go spend two days and one night with his father at the deer lease. Oh how my heart swells to think of the father-son bonding they will have and also how horribly empty the house will feel without them. 

7) the time I wish I could spend hugging my sweet sister today. She left me a voice mail the other day that made me cry. Not in a bad way, but in an 'I love you, know what you are going through, I am here for you' way. 

8) once EVERY fifteen minutes I think about Ashley and miss the holy tar out of that girl. I can barely breathe when I think about her because it hurts so much that she lives 4 hours away with her father. She is doing great, he is a fantastic Dad, I have no complaints. I just miss her. Horribly. All The Time!!!

What does fifteen minutes mean to you?

Another day older and deeper in debt...

Or so the old song goes.

As some of you noted, this weekend was also my birthday. I am now at the age where birthdays are pretty uneventful, non-celebration sorts of things. At least that's how I feel. My sweet family, on the other hand, decided to wow me.

Chris and the boys (um, mostly Chris) baked me a double fudge cake with fudge icing. I had to restrain myself from diving face first into it! It was decadent and fudgey and exactly what my hurting soul and heart needed. 

They took me out to dinner at a nice steak house where I had some of all my faves, and ate it all! For one day I could throw the diet out the window, right? I mean, my body could only absorb so much fat and calories in one sitting.....

I got to take a long, lavender scented bath while reading a trashy gossip magazine. I was able to shave my legs without hacking off any pieces of flesh. I even got to moisturize. Unheard of around these parts!!! I am the 4-minute shower champ. Pampering is not in my routine. 

I got to watch the shows I had on the DVR, catching up on everything!

Then came the presents. I got the Iron Chef game for the DS. Now I have to fight Ahren for time on the game system. I got a new cookbook and a large stainless steel spice rack, with spices! My hubby knows me so well. But my favorite gift, the gift that shows how much my husband really knows me? He got me a portable hard drive. A sexy little black and red system to back up all my writing and photos off our main computer. A couple of years ago our old computer died and took all my personal stuff with it. The Geek squad could not recover my things and I was heartbroken. Now that will never happen again. 

My family spoiled me!!!

I almost forgot to add the strangest thing that happened. When we were leaving the restaurant I was holding Ahren's hand and trying to steer him out between the tables. In typical Ahren fashion, he tripped, almost keeled over, I pulled him up and then he fell over the other way. I was half dragging him by the arm when a really old man at the table we were passing said, "Oh my goodness, it's a feral child". I turned and saw the look on his wife's face and started to laugh! I couldn't even get mad because she looked like she was about to come across the table and tear him a new one. She was MORTIFIED! I know I should have gotten mad and maybe said something, but he was such a really old man and they just say the darndest things, and well, Ahren with his mop of wild curls and bumbling walk did indeed look a little feral. So I shrugged it off and just laughed. I guess it was a good thing I was having such a great day!

Happy Birthday Peri Brynn!!!

My sweet daughter turns three years old today. Here is a photo of the last time I saw her over a year ago.  I wish I had held her a little tighter, a little tighter, a little longer, told her I loved her just one more time. I wish I had know it was going to be the last time. 

Here she is on one of my earlier visits. Such a happy baby with a tiny little tinkle of a laugh.
PBJ contemplating life from her seat in the stroller. She had me at hello....
This was after her injury and hospitalization. See how her little hand is all curled in, and see the bruises where her IV were in the back of her hand? The cruel bastard that hurt her stole her personality, her spunk, her happiness. But not for long. My little girl is a fighter, so strong.

You will always be my girl. I love you so much. May the angels watch over you while Mommy can't.

Pix

Ashley attended her very first high school dance. When she showed me her dress I said, Oh No, you have to take it back. It is waaaaay too beautiful. You cannot leave the house dressed like that!!! She just laughed. But seriously, isn't she gorgeous!!!!

Katie lavishing cheer love on her brother.
Katie asked me to dress the boys up and take photos of her before Homecoming. Isn't that sweet? Ahren does this face if you ask him to smile. Little goober!
Levi got too hot and ditched his dress shirt before the photos. Good intentions and all.
As the hummingbirds passed through on their fall migration they discovered our house and swarmed my feeders. I would see 30 or more at a time. Catching a picture is a difficult thing.
Katie and her star quarterback boyfriend jordan. They are such a sweet couple. 

Crazy Busy

Ugh, things are just insane! I have been up since 4 am, two kids are already at school, I'm about to take 2 more and drop them off and I have already attended one parent teacher conference this morning. Once I drop these kids at school I will head to work, but at noon I have to go pick up 3 kids and drop them at home, then head back to work. I don't know whether I am coming or going these days. 

(shhh, don't tell anyone, but I am loving it!)

Ahren update

We spent a good hour talking to the doctor and examining Ahren this morning. He took a very detailed history and asked many, many questions. I love this doctor, we never feel rushed and he is so good with kids. Here is what we came up with:

1) His overall muscle tone is low but low/normal. It is the same all over his body, not weaker in any one spot. 

2) He has made tremendous progress in this year. Absolutely amazing progress.

3) Although his muscle tone is acceptable now, his coordination and balance are not. While we were talking he did one of his typical keel-over moves. He was only turning around while standing and he lost his balance and fell. He was able to catch himself with his hands and avoid hitting his head, so his reflexes are good. 

4) The doctor feels that it is not a muscle issue, but maybe a brain issue. Not like CP where parts of the body are affected, something more global. 

5) We have a referral to a Pediatric Neurologist for a full work-up. MRI, EEG, blood work, and some other neuro mumbo-jumbo. 

6) The doctor agreed with me that there seems to be 'something' not right. Not horribly wrong but just off. It felt good to be validated for my worries. Nanny agrees with me but Chris doesn't see it. That is so frustrating. I figure if all I find out is that he is just quirky but fine, then I have bought myself peace of mind. 

And Ahren? He has declared that he wants a Baby Brudder. That's all he talks about. Hmmm....

Consequences

  As a parent I spend a lot of time trying to import the idea of consequences onto my children. Kids are not born understanding the concept and some grasp it quicker than others. Some people never learn the lesson. 

  Today I was struck by the inherant inequalities in natural consequences. One bad deed should result in an equal and undesirable consequence, but life is just not like that. Here is my case in point.

Example #1) The mother of a child my younger daughter was friends with for several years has set a record for un-punished illegal offenses. Here is a short list of the most heinous of her actions:

  a. used her toddler daughter in a stroller to shoplift

  b. embezzled money from  an employer

  c. has driven without a valid drivers license for 8 years, been pulled over multiple times

  d. failed to send her two teenage children to school resulting in truancy charges multiple times

  e. filed multiple false CPS reports to misdirect attention from herself to others

  f. many, many hot check charges

  g. 5 or 6 evictions from rental residences with tens of thousands of dollars in un-paid rent

  h. much, much more that is beyond comprehension

This woman has not paid any fines, served more than a few hours at a time in jail, or been made to pay the consequences of her actions because she simply ignores the court dates and if they do catch her she gets released right away because these are 'minor' offenses. No room in the jails for her!

Example #2) A sixteen year old boy from my daughter's high school attempted to pass a slower moving vehicle in a non-passing zone at 4 pm yesterday afternoon and hit a large SUV head on, killing him and injuring 5 others in the crash. 

The boy made a small, stupid mistake, probably based on lack of experience and he paid with his life. The adult woman has made a lifetime of calculated disgressions and yet she suffers almost nothing. 

Tell me, how do I teach my kids consequences? This set of examples confounds me. How do I explain this? My older girls know both stories and we have talked at length about both. They seem to sense the truth of right and wrong, but that might be in spite of the evidence they see around them. How do we, as parents, make our children understand? That right and wrong are not about who gets caught or who suffers, but about how we eventually see ourselves in this world? Are we proud of who we are? Did we live each and every day trying to be our best? Sometimes parenting simply overwhelms me. I should say, the thought of GOOD parenting overwhelms me. Bad parenting is easy.....

Fear me, I am a woman with tools

Remember when I mentioned that we were down one toilet after a toddler lego flushing experiment? it happened right before a weekend when Chris was scheduled to be out of town. In addition to being on my own with the munchkin crowd I was also getting sick. My solution was to turn off the water to the toilet and tape the lid shut. I left it this way until both my health and my mental fortitude were aligned. (Calling a plumber was out of the question because I am just that cheap!) 

Yesterday I tackled the job. New wax ring? Check. All the water drained? Check. Old towels? Check. Various tools? Check! By the time Chris found me the toilet was lying on the floor and I had already removed 5 large plastic blocks from it's inner workings. (Chris is used to such behavior from his spousal partner and managed to contain himself to one small sigh and a slight eye-roll...hee!) We removed four more blocks and then I removed the old wax and caulk, cleaned up the floor, situated the new wax ring and placed the new bolts. Here is where I failed, though. I couldn't lift the darn thing back up onto the site myself. I may have tools, but muscles..not so much. Chris lifted it back on and I re-attached everything. I turned on the water and fired that puppy up. No leaks!!! 

I am woman, hear me roar! 

___________________________________________________________________

Wow, blogger went absolutely bonkers with this post. It took me quite a while to delete all the un-finished versions of this post that it uploaded. Seriously, I was very proud of my toilet repairing skills but not THAT proud!

New Floor

Wow, the difference the new floor makes is incredible. The room looks huge.  I need to get an area rug to help reduce the noise. It looks like wood, right? It's not. Not laminate, or Pergo or anything else related. It's some sort of space age polymer that is indestructible. It has only been available commercially for industrial use until recently. In fact, you may have seen some version of this on the floors of Wally Worlds. (It comes looking like tile, wood, etc) I figure if it can withstand the multitudes of mega-shoppers it can stand up to my kids. 

It's textured like wood on the surface, too. Water won't hurt it, it won't stain or chip or dent. It comes with a 20 year guarantee. If it ever does get damaged, say you drop an anvil on it, they use a heat gun to loosen the glue and then just glue in a new piece. 
We went for the low-shine variety. It's less slippery and easier to keep looking nice. 
it took 6 hours to remove the carpet, prep the concrete and install and trim about 500 square feet of space. 
This particular variety/brand is called Van Gogh. I am in love......

Crystal

Crystal, e-mail me and we can compare notes on our quirky boys. Maybe we can untangle their 'issues'. 

Wendy

Doh. Would help if I gave you an e-mail address! 

waitingforahren (at) yahoo.com

Highlights

Bullet point highlights of our week. 

1) I am sick. Again. That is the downside to working with kids and having your own four kids in four different schools. I am a veritable viral magnet. I never knew snot came in so many colors.....TMI?

2) Ahren flushed large plastic lego blocks down the toilet making it inoperable, the day before Chris went out of town. It is now taped shut and waiting for rescue.

3) Levi was taking a bath and decided to pour the entire, brand-new super-sized bottle of baby soap into the tub, then turn on the shower sprayer on causing bubbles to multiply like the swine flu bug. 

4) Took the kids to the dentist and Ahren has 2 cavities that need to be filled, but he is not yet cooperative enough to have them filled without sedating him. Do I wait? Do I let them knock him out just for 2 fillings? Ugh! if I ignore it will they go away?????

5) When I took my current job I was the fourth Vision Therapist on staff. Due to odd circumstances,  I will soon be the ONLY therapist on staff. To say I am a bit anxious about that...well, the word understatement comes to mind. I love what I do but I only have a surface knowledge of all that is therapy. Luckily they want to send me to California for training. Dana, sweet sister of mine, can I bunk at your house for a few weekends? I will bring brownies and lots of hugs!

6) Tomorrow, bright and early, a man named Oscar is coming to make a huge mess in my house. We are tearing out all the carpet in the main living areas and replacing it with an industrial product that looks just like wood but is virtually indestructible. Seriously, this stuff comes with a 20 year guarantee. I am thinking of having them do all the floor and halfway up the walls then installing a giant floor drain. I could just pull the hose into the living room and do a quick wash up! 

7) I am OK with waiting on Ahren's testing. It is scheduled for next Wed. We will have some results within a couple of days, but the genetic testing will take a few weeks to get results. On the other hand, I find myself watching every little move he makes. He was riding on the side of the grocery cart the other day and just couldn't hang on. His little arms just shook and he had to hop off. Another time he was standing next to me while I was on the phone and when he looked up at me he lost his balance and fell down. He was just standing there and toppled over. And then there is his goofy, oddball run. he runs kind of sideways, with his left leg not bending much, and his arms pumping like there is no tomorrow. This kid is either the goofiest little sweetheart around or seriously messed up. My dear friend Candy called him a 'Weeble Wobble' and that is the perfect name for him. Sweet, chunky and prone to tipping over. 

And now, I have a date with a bottle of serious cold medicine that will hopefully leave me senseless for many hours. Adieu, adieu, adieu, to you and you and you.

Ahren...my beautiful boy!

Thanks to some very wise and thoughtful commenters I have a better idea what might actually be going on with Ahren. That and good ol' Dr. Google. Being a research scientist is almost a curse when you hear something like that. My mind went to the worst case scenarios, lack of successful medical interventions and no cures. 

But....he just doesn't fit the presentation for muscular dystrophy. There is definitely something, but not that. He was diagnosed as having Hypotonia (very low muscle tone) when he came home. That can actually be caused by many, many things. Some are no problem, others are devastating illnesses. The fact that our interventions have improved him so much is a plus. The fact that some issues are re-surfacing or getting worse plus a couple of new things was the big red flag.  

Here is what I am thinking. As Urban Blonde pointed out to me, he has all the symptoms of Ataxic Cerebral Palsy. This is a non-progressive disease caused by some sort of injury to the brain (like very poor pre-natal nutrition....) It is non-progressive but CHANGING. Especially during childhood and periods of significant growth. Have I mentioned he grew over 6 inches this year? That alone is enough to cause a huge regression. His muscles are just a lot slower to catch up. Another symptom is loss of bladder and bowel control, and who do we know who has been wetting his pants a lot and recently also pooped his pants 4 times? you got it, Ahren. The times he has pooped his pants it's like he doesn't even know he did it. The muscles just let go and he has no control. Geez, how bad do I feel for getting so upset at him? Luckily I didn't let it show on the outside most of the time, but still. Remember the day I made him wear the wet pants and he hated it? Yeah, not my most stellar moment. Oh well, I need to focus on moving forward and not dwell on mistakes. Learn from them, yes, but dwell on them? Nope. 

He is a very smart little cookie, and he is very adept at using his charms to get people to do everything for him. He won't feed himself if he can convince someone to feed him (which he does ALL the time) He won't dress himself or even pull his own pants down or up. He won't climb in the van by himself or jump out. His pre-school teacher sent a note home telling me he didn't like to do anything for himself and she was going to work on getting him to do things. (Good luck with that one!) This is a typical compensation mechanism for CP kids. He just happens to be a pro at it. You should see Nanny spooning scrambled eggs into his mouth. He is one happy camper! 

We will still do all the testing but I am not worried anymore. He is just my sweet, beautiful quirky little boy. Now I need to go wipe the slobber off his face and put a band-aid on his skinned knees.....

Ahren

When Ahren first came home he was 2 years and 9 months old but was still very much a baby.  He still took a bottle every 4 hours. He had not started potty training. He didn't say many words (in spanish or english) and he still seemed babyish in many ways. I didn't mind, I got to enjoy that last little bit of babyhood after having missed so much of his life.

But there was more to it than just baby-ish-ness. (I made a new word!) He had very poor muscle tone. The foster mother had been worried about him walking so late (22 months) and falling constantly and they had taken him to an orthopedist. The ortho put him into special orthotic boots to stabilize his feet and ankles. Those helped but still, there was more to it.

I took him to an ortho here and he was very concerned. He said he had never seen a child with so little muscle tone. His little legs would just flop all over and you could literally wrap them around his head with no problem. We started working with him every day to build muscles and fed him a diet high in protein. 
In three months he grew almost 4 inches, began to gain many more skills involving his large muscles and the ortho thought he was looking great. The improvement was amazing. The doctors orders were to keep up the good work and he would see us in a year. 

We saw his regular doctor the other day (who has also been following Ahren closely) to get his flu shot and I mentioned some things that I have noticed. Here is what I mentioned to the doctor.

1) He drools all the time and seems to have trouble chewing and swallowing.

2) He has been having trouble getting out of bed and when he first gets up he walks with a very stiff-legged frankenstein like movement. 

3) He has been falling down a lot, even when just standing still

The doctor got an odd look on his face, and then he said something that hit me like a punch in the gut. He said we need to test him for muscular dystrophy. I think he said some other things after that, but the odd buzzing in my head drowned it out. We now have an appointment in 10 days for a complete work-up.  Genetic testing, blood work, and whatever else they can think of. And then we wait for a few weeks for the results. 

I am concerned but not freaking out. Yet. My mother's intuition tells me there is something going on. He is almost 4 years old and he falls down trying to pee in the potty. He has a funny, awkward gait when he runs. He drools like a teething baby. I guess the thing that made me begin to think there might be something going on is that these things had gotten better but are now getting worse. All along I had thought he was just behind in development because he was never allowed down on the ground and the foster family did everything for him. But they had also been concerned, so even back then they thought there was something wrong. 

It's going to be a really long few weeks. 

  

Washed Out Weekend

Oh what plans I had. A get-together with good friends and lots of kids at the beach house. One last hurrah of summer, complete with surf, sand and sun. I should have known it wouldn't work out when I realized I had planned it for the one year anniversary of Hurricane Ike devastating the island. 

Over the past couple of weeks I have bought additional life jackets for small munchkins, carefully planned food menus that included gluten-free and lactose intolerant dietary needs. I bought  food, decorations and what not. I planned how to transport people from the beach to the house to the pool, etc. My family all had assigned jobs. We were ready.

For NOTHING. A huge storm front moved in and Saturday was a mess. We had to cancel. I am so sad. This is all I was looking forward to for weeks. I wanted so badly to show my friends a good time and enjoy them and their families having fun. 

We ended up going down there Saturday morning. Chris had a job he had to visit on the island so at least he had to be there. We also had some little projects we needed to do and a whole van-load of party supplies to deliver. So off we went. In the rain. We ended up visiting moody Gardens to keep us all from going insane stuck in the house. It was...um...OK. Sunday morning dawned clear and sunny. We headed out on the jet skis to do some tubing and immediately ran into trouble with one jet ski. We had to tow it back to our dock and call for the dealer to pick it up. So today I did laundry, dishes, bathed small smelly children who had jumped in the canal and made beds. Woo-hoo I am living in the fast lane. 

So this was the weekend that wasn't. High expectations and low returns. I think I will go to bed now. Sigh.....

The Sense of Smell

Did you know that the sense of smell it the most powerful sense for invoking memories? It is very powerful and can bring out memories that otherwise would lay deeply buried in our minds for our whole lives.

I had one of those yesterday. Suddenly, I smelled my grandmother's house and all the memories came flooding back. My grandparents lived in a two story victorian-ish house in a tiny town in rural Iowa. It had a wrap around porch and a doorbell that was a little handle you pulled out that created this horrible buzzing sound. They always had a cat named Tom, even though over the years it was actually several different cats both male and female. 

The house was heated by radiators and I used to like to take my cheese sandwiches and lay them on the radiator to make them warm. There was no furnace fan and instead there were open iron grates in the floor of the second story that allowed warm air to rise up from the first floor. Those open grates were the source of much fun. Us kids would lay on the floor upstairs and spy on the adults downstairs. We watched and listened and giggled with delight at hearing their 'secrets'. 

The backyard was big and had a large berry patch. I don't remember what ind of berries but I remember they were full of stickers and I stayed away after my first encounter with them. The neighbor had a large pop corn cart in their backyard and it fascinated me. I can't even remember how many times I was told to get back ion the yard and stay away from the pop corn cart. It was like something out of the circus! 

My grandfather would take us with him to walk to the local store. The town was so tiny that the 'store' was a tiny grocer with only 2 aisles. They carried the basics, nothing more. I can still remember the pride in my grandfather's voice as he introduced us, his grandkids from the big city. he always let me walk along the top of the brick retaining wall, and I felt so big and brave. My Mom never let me do anything so dangerous. (In  hindsight, the wall was probably about 2 feet tall and he held my hand) 

The room my sister and I slept in had sloping ceilings. At the time I had no idea why the ceilings were like that. I thought they were the coolest thing ever. I could lay in bed and reach up and touch the ceiling. There was also a large ceramic cat. It was creepy and realistic with glittery eyes and so cool. We loved that cat!

But the coolest thing by far about my grandparents house? There was a locked room at the end of the hall upstairs. Oh how our imaginations ran wild. The story was that the room held a friend's furniture and they were storing it for him. We figured that the room actually held a criminally insane relative, shackled to the bed and kept secret form the whole world. At night, we would lay and listen to see if we could hear the chains clank or moaning or a heavy foot fall. Each time we would get close to the door, our breath would catch in our throats and we would feel a shiver of fear up our spines. We would dare each other to touch the door. To look through the key hole. To listen at the door. 

It's funny, my grandmother didn't really like kids all that much and she tended to be a bit harsh, but I have lots of very fond memories of visiting their house, of my grandfather, and the times we all spent there.

Improvement!

Well it looks like Ahren's phase is getting much better. I have the sneaking suspicion that all the recent changes were behind the un-acceptable behaviors. And I don't mean just the pee-ing issues. He was also an argumentative, growling, spitting, kicking little ball of issues. He has never been like that so I was caught completely off guard. We stuck to the rules, staying consistent with him (as in: known consequences each and every time he did something like spit or kick) We didn't punish him for the potty mishaps other than the day he wore wet pants for an hour. (Hey, I had a weak moment...I'm human) Yesterday and today...no accidents. No fits. No time outs. Whew! And he is doing great in his pre-school class. In fact, I thought we had a little genius on our hands when he brought home the most perfectly written letters...until I found out the teacher 'helped' him after he gave her the big ol' doe eyes. 

Levi now loves his school. In fact, he told me that the wigglies in his stomach are all gone! (His fears making him have butterflies) Earlier this week he asked if he could buy lunch at school. I gave him money and told him how it worked and he was so excited. That evening, I asked him about lunch. here is what he told me:

Levi, what did you have for lunch?

I don't know but it was gross. It looked like chicken on the outside, but it wasn't chicken on the inside. 

It looks like school lunches have not gotten any better.....

Today we bring you the letter P

  Ahren has been potty trained for months. He got the hang of urinating quite easily, and finally got the poo-poo thing down as well. There was much rejoicing around these parts, because really, who likes changing the messy diaper of a large child. Not me! 

  In the past month he has started wetting his pants (not to mention the pee pee accidents involving falling over or not getting his pants down all the way). He doesn't wet them all the way, he just waits too long to go potty and ends up with a large wet spot in his pants. This has become very annoying. You can ask him if he has to potty and he will say No, only to wet his pants 5 minutes later. If you tell him to go potty he throws a huge fit. He is now consistently wetting his pants 1 to 3 times EVERY day. I am putting him in pullups for school just so the teacher doesn't have to deal with it. (Did you know they make them in a 5T size? Me either.) 

  Anyway, on Sunday, after the second accident, I had had it. He hates wet pants so I made him wear them. And then I told him he would get a bad rash, his toot was going to turn black and it was going to burn. (He can use his college fund for counseling...right?) He cried and cried, but I made him wear them for an hour. I was hopeful that this might have made an impression on him. Later that evening, I asked him if he had to go potty and he said No. I reminded him of the wet pants......and ten minutes later he peed his pants.  

Updates, no whining involved...

We had a very tough decision regarding Levi and school this year. He has not done well in large groups and loud classrooms in the past. By not well I mean he chewed off all his fingernails, wet the bed, cried and had nightmares. And that was only half days, every other day. He lasted 2 weeks and I pulled him out. Then we found the wonderful small school he has attended for two years (and Ahren now goes to). No crying, no anxiety, he loved it! I had him signed up for Kindergarten there, but we decided to push him out of his comfort zone. Since all of the Kindergarten kids were in the same situation, it made sense to make the move now. Here is how he looked the first day of school. This is the best pic I got of him. It breaks my heart. 

Daddy took him the first day and that worked well. Mommy would have cried and then Levi would have cried and well, it would have been very bad. Daddy walked him to his class, he said good-bye and all was well. The next day he was better, and each day after that was even better. He has a boy in his class that was in his class last year so they stick together. 

Here is Kaytee on the first day trying to look like Levi and get him to laugh. Oh so sad....Not!

And here is Ahren and Holly ready for their first day of pre-school. Pack-packs loaded, slung on their backs, and smiles on their faces. The little ones did great!!!!

Levi learning to ride a bike in the living room.   Oh My Goodness......

Holly with her ornery face on. She may be the youngest of the four kids Nanny watches, but she has the spirit of a giant. 

Kaytee in her cheer uniform. Varsity cheer, dating the quarterback, all American!!!

Look at Ahren's head. He got mad because I told him No for something insignificant (meaning I cannot remember what it was) and banged his head on the floor until he made a big ol' rug burn. Nice. Right before school starts. i wonder what the teachers think.....

Levi and I spent one morning working on our laptops in the dining room. Side-by-side, clicking away. Good work was done here!

Brothers, sporting special hair-do's for a party, and loving each other. See the light spot on Ahren's head? That's where the scab fell off. Lovely.

You are going to hate me for this, but I got over 5 pounds of these shrimp fresh off the boat for $30 when we were at the beach house. They were so fresh some were still alive. Look how huge they are! YUMMO!

Reality Bites

UPDATE: Shortly after I wrote the post below Ahren announced he had to go potty and headed in that direction. I soon followed to provide assistance, if needed. (Is my child the only one in the world whose arms do not appear to be long enough to wipe his own bottom? This kid goes through contortions and never seems to hit the spot....) Anyway, I walked in the bathroom door to a little boy with a 'deer in the headlights' look and pee everywhere. Again. Apparently he managed to get his pants down, but not enough to Free Willy, if you know what I mean. He managed to pee all over  himself, his clothes, and the bathroom. I didn't yell at him, just plucked him off the pot and into the tub, cleaned him up, then the bathroom and the clothes. Now, in my head? I said every word not allowed on public television and a few more I invented myself.

  I have been meaning to do a really cute post comparing Ahren a year ago and now. I have wanted to upload pictures from the first day of school and tell you how it went. I have been meaning to update on many things around here that are funny and charming and cute.

 But the reality is that the past two weeks have NOT been much fun. Two weeks ago we started in on the rounds of the fever illness. For one week straight we had one or both boys in a bed with us to keep an eye on fevers and give night time doses of meds. You've all been there and it's no fun but it is what we do for our kids. Add in a weekend at the beach house with one sick kid and you know I started this week off tired. 

  Then there were 2 Open Houses, four first days of school, one very scared Kindergarten-er and issues with buses, car rider lines and schedules. It's been a hectic week. On top of that, the boys are trying to adjust to the new school routines but they are NOT sleeping. This has been a week of nightly musical beds. I swear I have slept in every bed in the house except for the dog's (maybe I would get some sleep there?). I do not do well with out sleep. I can go a few days, maybe a week, but TWO weeks is pushing me over the edge. 

Here it is Saturday, once again, and the house is trashed. There are bicycle tire marks all over the tile. There are juice stains all over the living room carpet that I shampooed just 2 weeks ago. There are ants coming in under the front porch. I need to go grocery shopping, do laundry, scrub nasty bathrooms and deposit a check at the bank. Chris is off running errands and then has to mow so I am on my own for the whole day with the two boys. 

People, this is not going to be pretty. I predict at some point I am going to totally lose my cool and blow.  I HATE that! 

The Circus is in town. I wonder if they might need a middle-aged overweight cranky woman?

Whew!

  Our weekend at the beach celebrating Ahren's 1 year anniversary of homecoming was a mixed bag. First, I forgot the camera. Sigh. Then, Ahren spiked a fever that morning changing the plans. Originally we were going to go play in the afternoon with some dear friends and then take off for the beach, but infecting your friends is a no no. So we decided to head out early. We loaded the van, loaded Ahren with tylenol and hit the road. Luckily he fell asleep and got a good nap out of the trip. Unfortunately, when I went to get him out of his carseat I discovered he was blazing hot. His fever was pushing the 104 mark. 

I got him a dose of Motrin and sat him in a tepid tub to bring the fever down. Then I had him drink some cold water. Within about thirty minutes it was down to 101. Poor baby felt really awful all weekend and didn't eat at all. He said his throat hurt and his tummy hurt. I slept with him both nights (lord have mercy!) just to keep a close eye on his temp. 

Even so, we still had a lot of fun. While the meds were working and his fever down he felt better and we went to the beach, rode jet skis and fished. We discovered that Ahren is a total daredevil and kept shouting Faster, Faster on the jet skis. Chris took him and they did go fast. really fast. Chris said they hit 50 mph and Ahren was still yelling Faster! 

He also did better being away from home. We talked about it all week long, about it being us as a family at our other house,  how after the weekend we would come back to our yellow house, and how no m atter where we are we are still together. It seemed to help. He only cried and asked to go home at bedtime. That's another reason I slept with him (again, Oh My Lord!). Sleeping with Ahren is like sleeping with a wild animal. I think I woke up about 30 times the first night. He moaned and groaned and kicked and rolled around, partly because he didn't feel good and partly just because. I slept with him in a twin bed the first night and let Chris and Levi have the king sized bed. The second night I slept with both boys in the big bed and Chris got the twin. Needless to say, the parental units got very little sleep this weekend. 

Levi. Oh that boy. He is a hoot. He decided last week he was ready to ride his bicycle without training wheels. He actually took them off himself. And then he proceeded to bring it into the house and ride around the living room! (Just so you don't think I am insane, I was at work when this happened) He must be the first kid in history to learn to ride a two-wheeler in the living room, and he taught himself. In one day. He rode it so much he had blisters on his hands. We took it down to the beach house with us and he rode all over the place and never fell once. The night I slept with him his little legs would randomly pump pedals all night long. He was riding in his sleep. Silly boy!

Glasses for Guats

Thanks everyone for the great responses. My goal is to collect 1000 pairs! The doctor wants to focus on children and women. he told me the story of a 50 year old woman whose eyesight was failing and she could no longer do the needlework that she earned her living with. He fitted her with glasses and she could see to stitch again!!! She cried, he cried, they all rejoiced because she had her livelihood back. 

Come on folks, spread the word. Glasses for Guats!!!

And now, for something completely different (said in my best Monty Python voice)

Last night was Kindergarten meet the teacher night. Levi fussed and worried all day. he wore himself out worrying. In the end, we all went, including Katie. I think that was the key. She said she went there and would show him around and introduce him to all her old teachers, and she did! He was so happy. I was so happy! In fact, it turns out his teacher is a friend of mine and she is happy too!!!

Now I am going Off-line for a few days. Tomorrow is Ahren's 1-year Homecoming Anniversary and we are heading to the beach house for a three-day weekend to celebrate. I will give full details and pix next week.

Your Help Needed

  Last week one of our doctors went to Guatemala and spent several days running an eye clinic and handing out free glasses. He has been taking donations of peoples old glasses but he quickly learned that the need far out-stripped the number of glasses he had donated to him. So I am asking all of you, if you have old glasses sitting around, please consider donating them to us for his next trip. Old, ugly, bent, scratched, whatever. Dime store cheaters, kids glasses, anything. We will fix them up and make them useable. 

Please send them to :

Child and Family Eye Care

6875 FM 1488 Ste. 300

Magnolia, TX 77354

Has anyone ever read or heard about Esther Maria, the kind elderly woman who lives in a house by the *dump and feeds over 90 children and mothers every day? Dr. Moffatt examined her and gave her her very first pair of glasses. She cried and hugged him, and then looked around marveling at all she could now see. 

*The city dump is an area where the poorest of the poor live, scratching out their survival by digging through the trash each day. Children, from the time they can walk, help the family survive this way, eating what they find. As you can imagine, the mortality rate is very high, the literacy rate very low, and the chances for escaping this life zero. 

Come on my friends, dig out those old glasses and send em on!

Levi has it now

He woke up this morning with a fever, sore throat and a bad case of pathetic-ness. Right now he is curled up on the couch, long sleeve shirt, sweat pants and wrapped in a big blanket. He's not much of a whiner so my fingers are crossed he will be less whiny than the others. 

In Vision Therapy News: 

The other day, while I was reading the blog '5 minutes for special needs' ( http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/) I read one mother's post about how vision therapy and vision correction had meant the world of difference to her daughter's success. I am here to say 'Oh Yeah! We are seeing so many kids for evaluations right now. I guess as school is getting ready to start parents are thinking about how to best help their kids have the best educational experience they can. We are seeing a wide range of issues. Kids with lazy eyes and strabismus. Kids with one very dominant eye and the other so weak the brain essentially has just turned it off. Kids who are diagnosed as ADHD whose true issue is a vision problem. (Think about it, if you can't focus on the words on the page, how much attention would you give it?) We have kids who had a brain injury and we need to re-train the eyes, body and brain to work in unison. We have a lot of kids who were preemies who need help to build their vision systems correctly.  And kids on the autism spectrum. Oh those sweet little angels. It makes me cry happy tears as I watch them go from withdrawn and unable to make eye contact to smiling and hugging us, telling us stories and making great eye contact. 

I wish more people knew about Vision Therapy. It goes hand-in-hand with a lot of OT therapies. We are now working closely with an OT group nearby. We see the same patients and coordinate the therapies to get the kids the best of both. It really accelerates their progress. 

I am LOVING my new job!

Something got into me

For some un-explainable reason I got the urge to do some heavy-duty cleaning this weekend. The kind of old-fashioned spring cleaning I used to watch my mother do every spring. I'm not sure if I am late for last spring or early for next spring, but I kicked some dirt-booty this weekend. I scrubbed woodwork, baseboards, door panels, floors, tubs, toilets, and showers. I scrubbed and conditioned the leather furniture. I cleaned off my desk and dusted light fixtures. I steam cleaned the kitchen floor after mopping it twice. I cleaned out refrigerators, took out trash and did laundry. I scrubbed and polished the granite counter tops. I washed windows. (Maybe shouldn't have since a poor bird flew smack into one and knocked himself senseless) I even cleaned out my van and got it washed and vacuumed. 

And yet, my house still looks like a disaster. Why, you might ask, since I seemingly cleaned every inch? Well, that would be because Disaster Boy and his sidekick Booger Butt did their very best to destroy everything I did. Things like dumping a box of cereal on the living room floor and then DANCING on it. So the house might be clean, but it looks like a tornado struck it. Next time I plan on using copious amounts of duct tape to remedy that problem....

We've been hit by the Whine Flu!

That's right, the newest flu epidemic sweeping the neighborhood. It all started with Holly. One minute she was her perky little self, and the next her cheeks were pink, her eyes red rimmed and she looked absolutely pathetic. A quick assessment told us she had a fever. Two days of fever, non-descript tummy complaints and lots and lots of whining. 

Then today Ahren woke up, saying his tummy hurt and proceeded to make my ears bleed with the non-stop whining. He hasn't really had a fever, but you can tell something is definitely off. He isn't eating and that is very unusual. I finally made him take a nap. He fell asleep 2 minutes after he laid down and slept 90 minutes. The whining is much better now, but still evident. 

So beware everyone. The latest epidemic is the Whine Flu, which makes you want to smack some little H1N1s (hineys). I am still waiting to hear what the CDC has to say about this one......

I run a tight ship!

It takes a lot to keep this family on the right track. I have to run a really tight ship. There are lots of rules but they insure we are all well cared for.

I believe in a very wholesome, mostly fresh food diet.

Even though it has been horribly hot, outdoor toys must stay outdoors.

There is no food or drink allowed beyond the kitchen/dining area. Certainly never on the carpet because that could lead to stains. 

We believe in only peaceful learning toys for our children.

The kids can only play with one toy at a time and that has to be put away before they can get another one.

The little ones are not allowed to play video games, and certainly never until they actually keel over and pee their pants. 

Our kids do not help themselves to food when we are otherwise occupied, leaving big messes behind.

 And I most certainly would never, ever let anyone know that we are anything less than perfect around here, because my reputation is the most important thing to me. Ahem.

Catastro-PEE

Have you ever been in a situation that is so hilariously BAD that you can't so anything but laugh? Picture this. Ahren is working hard on becoming a big boy. He recently learned how to stand up to pee in the potty. After a few aiming issues were ironed out, he was doing just fine. Now Ahren is still prone to falling down for absolutely no reason. The kid just keels over, bangs into things, and bounces off of walls. Just now he announced he had to potty so in we went. He got his pants down and started to pee.

And then it happened. He fell over. Still peeing. Urine arced out across the toilet, up the wall, back across his own body and kept going. He must have really had to pee because he managed to get EVERYTHING in there wet as he struggled to stand back up. All the while....still peeing. 

And now I get to go clean that bathroom for the second time this weekend. The laugh was worth it, though!

Whew!

  This week flew by so fast! I am working more and more hours so my extra time is limited. Plus getting 4 kids ready for school. New shoes, new clothes, new supplies, nap mats, lunch boxes, socks and underwear, shot records, doctor signatures, and on and on and on. The paperwork makes me feel like I am trying to qualify for a mortgage not send kids to school. And since when do doctors charge to sign the physical forms? That is just wrong, especially since we paid for the physicals. 

  The girls got home from vacation with their Dad on Friday. Ashley is heading back to Dallas later this coming week so that gave me one week to get things done for her. I got her an eye appt on Wednesday, but couldn't get her into the dentist. We shopped and got her a lot of cute clothes for school. She got her tetanus shot booster last year so she is up to date on shots. I feel like I am missing something.....??? Well, whatever I miss her dad will cover. 

  We are still struggling to keep weight on Levi. He just isn't a good eater. I bought him a smoothie the other day thinking that might be a good way to sneak some extra calories and protein into him. He didn't like it. Sigh. He is six years old and can wear a 24 month size in swim trunks and they fit him. He is growing taller so that is good, but if he gets sick (which he will since he starts public school in a couple of weeks) he just won't have any reserves to fight with. That's how he ended up hospitalized for a week when he got a stomach bug.

  Ahren is none worse for the wear of this past weekends chaos. He has a little bit of a booger-y nose and has been a little whiny, but doing well. His latest thing is that he growls at anyone if they displease him. Tell him No, and he snarls and growls at you. That is going to stop! I will not tolerate him acting like that, so he gets immediate time out when he does it. So far it hasn't stopped him, but he is a stubborn kid so it will take a little while to sink in. 

  No word on PBJ. That is just like all things Guatemalan-adoption related. It doesn't make it any easier, but at least it doesn't surprise us anymore. 

Bad Mom, Bad Mom, whatcha gonna do...

  I have to be honest. There was a down side to our beach weekend. A down side I failed to see coming but should have from a mile away. I was so excited and so sure we were all going to have such a great time that I failed to think about one small boy who has been through way too many changes in his short life.

Ahren.

I failed him big time. I am so sorry and so guilty. He is normally so easy and so adjusted that I never thought about how the weekend might affect him.I had signs. On the trip down there he kept asking about going 'home'. I just kept telling him we were going to our weekend home. When we got there he kept asking to hold me, but I was so busy hauling boxes up the stairs I couldn't hold him. He followed me around, wrapped around my legs most of the day. He drove me nuts with questions. He mis-behaved and acted out all day long and still I didn't get it. There were a lot of people around, lots of chaos and people he didn't know. He wouldn't eat. He cried. He screamed and hit and did so many things he shouldn't do that were dangerous....and I just got annoyed with him. 

And then, when everything quieted down, I suddenly got it. Oh my goodness, what was I thinking? Poor baby was scared to death! He wanted to go HOME. And I didn't get it. I didn't even comfort him. I was just too busy. 

I am the worst Mommy ever. I suck. Big time. I hate myself.

That night I crawled into his itty bitty twin bed with him and snuggled him all night long. I reassured him I loved him and would keep him safe, even as he slept. I slept very little. Oh my sweet little boy. Mommy is here!!! 

On Sunday morning, he woke up and was himself again. The chaos was gone, all the people, the business, it was just us. He calmed down and began to be even-keeled. He slept on the way home and now on Monday, he is himself completely again. 

Sweet, ornery, active and funny. I need to think about the situations for him. That is my job. I might have failed this time, but believe me, next time will be way different.

I promise!!!!

Life is a beach!

This is the main dining area of the house. It will seat 8 people. The buffet behind it holds all of the drinking supplies apparently. (We got it furnished)

Ahren enjoys some corn on the cob. This boy can really get into his food. 

This boat belongs to one of the other owners, and after seeing him trying to maneuver it in and out of the dock (VERY tight) we think we will NOT be using it. Too scary!

Levi trying out the brand new Jet Skis while still on the trailer. He did ride them later but I didn't get pix.

This canal is full of bait stealers! They would attack our bait, get us all excited, and then we would reel in an empty hook. It still kept the menfolk captivated.

When Ahren drifted too far from our dock, Levi tossed out a fishing line (no hook, just a big weight) and reeled in the biggest catch of the day.

Ahren enjoying some marshmallows. Have I mentioned this boy can eat?

One thing we did NOT do is comb hair. Or wear many clothes. Or makeup. You can thank me that I haven't posted pix of me.....

This is our Island transportation. We rode it to the store on Sat. night to get ice cream and root beer for root beer floats. YUM!

We did a lot of this. The water is cool!

And lots of smiling.

We decided to take a walk on the beach before we left, just to say goodbye ot the beach (Levi's words).

And I was dumb enough to think a walk on the beach did not include getting wet. Luckily I had more clean clothes to bring them home in. 

And here is how they looked on the ride home.

Ssshhhhhhhhhh.......